97 Things to Do Before You Finish High School

by Erika Stalder

  A Sweet Way to Save

  If you and your friends are really strapped but still want to hit up a fancy joint, skip dinner altogether and just go for dessert. If it is a busy restaurant, make sure to go a bit later in the evening after the dinner rush is over (restaurants don't like when people take up tables with small orders during dinnertime). Then, order some hot chocolate and cheesecake, and soak up the ambiance.

  23 Take a Road Trip

  Taking a road trip is a teenage rite of passage and a great opportunity to bond with buds while exploring new terrain. Even if you drive only a few towns over to enjoy a hike or visit friends who don't live nearby, you'll experience a newfound sense of freedom and responsibility. With the right group of friends, a well-stocked car, and a semi-set itinerary (leaving some room for spontaneous detours), you'll be ready to embark on an action-packed voyage of self-discovery.

  Don't Forget

  maps

  food

  bottled water

  a change of clothes if needed

  CDs or an MP3 player for the car stereo

  a camera

  cell phones

  games, pillows, sleeping bags, or anything else needed to make the trip fun and comfy

  How to Do It

  Assemble a high-spirited crew, including at least a couple of people who have driver's licenses so no one is stuck behind the wheel for the entire trip. Your fellow road-trippers should be both responsible and easy going — you don't want to be piloted by a lunatic driver or have to deal with high-maintenance passengers who demand bathroom breaks every five miles. Jointly decide where you're headed. How about a local college where some friends go or a state park with hiking trails? Are you staying at a friend's place overnight or heading back home the same day you leave? Make a solid plan and agree upon a basic budget before hitting the road. Everyone should chip in equally for gas, tolls, and other shared expenses, while food can be paid for individually. Don't forget to check out the car before you take off (apply the maintenance tips on page 178). And, before you get your kicks on Route 66, do make sure your parents know where you are going and what time you plan to be back. A charged cell phone will also ensure that they can get in touch with you, or vice versa, if need be.

  Songs to Put on Your Road Trip Mix

  “Born to Be Wild” — Steppenwolf

  “Freebird” — Lynyrd Skynyrd

  “Go West” — Liz Phair

  “Driving” — PJ Harvey

  “Gin and Juice” — Snoop Dogg

  “The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)” — Missy Elliot

  “Wasn't Born to Follow” — The Byrds

  “Me and Bobby McGee” — Janis Joplin

  “ Into the Great Wide Open” — Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

  THREE: With/For Family

  24 Research Your Family Tree

  You probably know where your parents were born — maybe you've even visited the cities or homes where they grew up. And if you're lucky enough to have grandparents in your life, you've hopefully heard some stories about their upbringings. But how about your great-grandparents? Chances are they, or their parents, were not born in the United States. Know where they came from? Researching your family tree is a fascinating process. It'll put you in touch with your national and ethnic origins and make you see history not just as a dull subject to be studied in textbooks, but as something that you and your family are an integral part of. If you're adopted, you can do this for either your adopted or biological parents — both investigations will turn up interesting (and probably very different) results.

  How to Do It

  Tracing your ancestry is like putting together the pieces of a giant jigsaw puzzle — with each relative you locate, the whole family history becomes clearer. Start by talking to your parents and grandparents. Ask them to tell you everything they know about the family's genealogy. What countries did their ancestors emigrate from? Who first came to the US and when? Was the family name changed when the first arrivals docked on Ellis Island? Or when someone got married to someone else? Work with a hand-drawn chart, or download family tree worksheets from any number of websites (just type in “‘family tree’ and templates” into a search engine) dedicated to the pursuit.

  Fill in blanks as you discover the names and origins of various relatives. Over the course of months or even years, you'll continue to make fascinating discoveries regarding the who, what, and where of your ancestors. Keep all information for posterity — future generations will thank you for doing the research.

  Travel to the Source

  Say you trace your family tree back through multiple generations, all the way to a small village in Chad, Portugal, Tasmania, Ukraine, or the Philippines. To get a sense of where you're originally from, travel to this place one day (barring any civil wars that might be occurring there) and check out your real hometown.

  25 Reach Out to a Long-Lost Relative

  While it's fun to use the Internet to piece together family history, there's plenty of investigating to do with those family members who are still alive. How many relatives do you actually communicate with on a regular basis? Even in big families, there are different inner circles that are knit pretty tightly. But somewhere out there you have relatives you've never even met, maybe never even knew you had. Maybe your grandfather has a younger sister he's no longer in touch with. Or what about the large, scattered family you have through a great-aunt's marriage to a diamond exporter who was born in New Zealand, raised in Tokyo, and retired in Delaware? Aren't you curious about these mysterious relatives you may look, sound, or act like? (If you're adopted and doing this with your unknown biological family, you're in for an even more challenging and fascinating journey.) By reaching out to a long-lost relative, you'll make genetic, geographical, and emotional connections, and learn more about yourself and your family.

  How to Do It

  Talk to your parents, cousins, aunts, and uncles, and see if they know about anyone floating around out there. Or pursue the family tree project on page 60 until you've turned up names and contact info that your parents and grandparents never had. You might hit some dead ends — old addresses or phone numbers, or maybe the relative in question has passed on. If all else fails, google them and see what comes up (make sure to put their first and last name in quotes when you search). Eventually, you're bound to locate a long-lost family member who will be thrilled to learn about you, too. If this person lives nearby, arrange for an in-person meeting. If states or countries separate you, start up email or snail mail correspondence.

  Catch These Reunion Flicks

  The Family Stone (2005) — In this comedy, Dermot Mulroney takes Sarah Jessica Parker, his uptight girlfriend, home to meet his eccentric family.

  Everything Is Illuminated (2005) — Based on the novel by Jonathan Safran Foer, this comic drama stars Elijah Wood as a Jewish American who travels to Ukraine to find the woman who saved his grandfather during WWII.

  The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) — In this comedy with Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller, and the Wilson brothers, an estranged and wacky family full of former child prodigies reunites when the dad announces he is dying.

  26 Record an Oral History

  Uncle Joe is always good for an after-dinner walk down memory lane (especially if he's been sipping the cognac all evening). Why not get some of those great tales about the good ol' days on the record? Most people love to tell crazy stories about their childhoods, and most childhood stories, if you actually stop to listen, are pretty interesting. But a lot of this great info is gone or distorted after it's shared, unless someone has recorded it. The best way to preserve family stories and remember people's personalities is to do an oral history. By engaging a family member in tales of the past, you can learn a lot about history — from wars to economic depressions to pop culture, art, and dating rituals — and how it affected your family. And though hitting the Record button while Uncle Joe is mid-rant might be tempting, the idea here is to actually plan a proper session in
which you interview a family member (or several) and record it on audio or video.

  How to Do It

  Approach a cool, older relative (like a grandparent or great-aunt or great-uncle) and let them know you'd like to do an oral history of them. Set up a time and a place and bring a list of questions to keep you on track, though you'll probably veer quite a bit from the list as you go. Depending on your resources and your subject's preference, you can record only audio (using a digital recorder or an old-school tape) or make a video (with a camcorder or digital camera) —just make sure that the material you record can be properly and safely stored for posterity on whatever medium you choose. Focus at first on biographical details such as date and place of birth, family names, marriage history, and home locations, but encourage your subject to go on tangents; as he or she talks about the past, all sorts of memories will come up. Make sure you get details — that's where the juicy stuff is. “So you said you were born seven months after your parents were married? And why was Aunt Betty nicknamed ‘Hot Legs’?” Make sure your subject feels comfortable by offering to turn the recorder off at any point if they get nervous. As for yourself, pretend you're Oprah or Letterman interviewing a superstar … who just happens to be one of your relatives.

  Time It Right

  Allot about two hours for each session. Any less and you won't get the nitty-gritty details. Any more and you'll wear out your subject with intense conversation. You can always resume with part deux on another day.

  27 Spend Quality Time With Your Grandparents

  For some teens, grandparents are fun, supportive elders who live nearby and take part in all major family activities. For others, Grandma and Grandpa are those kindly but somewhat distant folks who show up once or twice a year for dinner, bringing dicey-looking fruitcake and strange smells with them. Whether they're just around the corner, halfway across the country, totally hip or always complaining about their hip replacements, your grandparents should be an important part of your life. If any have passed on, be sure to keep their memories close by looking at photos, listening to recorded oral histories (if they exist), and talking to your remaining relatives about them. If they are alive and kicking, spend quality time with them while you still have the chance. You'll never regret it.

  How to Do It

  If any of your grandparents live nearby, set aside at least one afternoon or evening each month to spend with them. Plan appropriate activities depending on their health and mobility — dinner, good conversation, and a DVD at home (let them pick the film, or, if they are open-minded, introduce them to your faves) are simple ways to stay connected and share time. If they are active, spry, and up for an adventure, plan an overnight road trip or an outdoors activity like going to a fair or going sailing. When hanging out at home, ask them to show you photo albums, baby books, old letters, and keepsakes. Tell them about school, your friends, and your hobbies — and ask about their lives when they were your age. It's always interesting to compare generations. While on some levels your life is completely different from your grandparents' younger days, you may also find certain aspects of both surprisingly similar.

  Grilling Gram and Gramps for Goods

  Despite what you might think, your grandparents have a life beyond Wheel of Fortune and dinner at 4 pm. Ask them to teach you their secret talents. If your grandpa was once known for his four-alarm chili recipe, ask him to get in the kitchen and show you how it's done. Was your grandma an award-winning photographer back in the day? She could drop knowledge on how to frame subjects to make that perfect shot (even if she doesn't know the first thing about those “newfangled digital cameras”).

  28 Make Peace With a Sibling

  Brothers and sisters are OK for the most part, but sometimes they can be a real pain in the *ss. Fights are an unavoidable part of growing up with siblings. Whether you're pummeling one another for some stupid reason, like not returning a borrowed book, or screaming about leaving the shared bathroom's toilet seat up or down, fights just plain suck. Feelings get hurt, objects get hurled across the room, and no one ever wins. Asking Mom or Dad to take sides isn't fair — they probably didn't even see what happened, and they're dealing with their own issues, anyway — so you've got to figure out a way to resolve these flare-ups yourselves. Next time you're embroiled in a nasty altercation with your bro or sis, vow to be the peacemaker. Even if you're sure you're right, swallow your pride for the sake of restoring some semblance of sanity to the household and be the one to end the battle.

  How to Do It

  As the situation heats up, try to maintain composure and remind yourself that two or more siblings living under one roof can't always avoid conflict. In fact, to some extent you probably thrive on it — you each want to assert independence and control (whether you realize it or not). Psychologists will tell you that older siblings think they know it all and hate being challenged by a younger family member, while younger siblings have not yet developed good reasoning skills and can be straight up immature. Although there may be some truth in these generalizations, refusing to play into these typical roles will curb the fight before it reaches the point of no return. If the scuffle escalates, point out the humor of the situation — come on, isn't arguing about last night's basketball game or who gets to control the remote pretty ridiculous? If you have no luck with the laugh tactic, or the argument is about something more serious, retreat to opposite ends of the house and take time to cool down. Then try to talk things out more calmly. The key is to learn how to communicate better so that when you do have disagreements you'll be able to hash them out minus any brawling. With heightened communication skills and a little luck, you'll be able to peacefully share the house — for a little while longer, anyway.

  The Parent Trap

  If you and your siblings fight incessantly, shift the emphasis away from your differences and instead focus on what you have in common — namely, how much your parents drive you crazy. It'll make you remember that though you two have some significant issues, you're actually comrades on the same team.

  29 Plan a (Cool) Family Outing

  Oh, the dreaded forced family outing. We've all had to endure trips to yet another staging of the Nutcracker (I got dressed up for this?), painfully boring family reunions (Will Aunt Shenee ever lay off the “when I was your age” stories?), or treacherous camping weekends (if I kill my brother inside the tent, does it still count as manslaughter?). But if your parents and/or stepparents are the “quality time” type, family outings can be tough to avoid. Certainly there must be a happy medium in which you can kick it without wanting to kill one another. Try to crack the code and take matters into your own hands by planning an outing that might actually be … fun.

  One-on-Ones

  If you actually like your family, then spending time with the gang is a real treat. But it's equally vital that you get in some one-on-one time with each parent. Be sure to spend quality time alone with just Mom or Dad at least once a month. (If your parents are split up, you may be doing this quite a bit already without even realizing it.)

  How to Do It

  First, strike a deal with your ’rents — tell them that if they pony up the cash, you'll plan the outing. (They might not trust you at first, so be prepared to present some trip details before receiving any personal checks or credit card numbers.) Now, decide where to go. Why not buck convention and plan an activity your family rarely does together? (No, “getting along” doesn't count.) If you're usually cooped up in the multiplex, plan an outdoorsy activity like picking apples at an orchard, cycling around town on tandem bikes, or riding the rapids on a rafting expedition. Want to get out of the sun or snow for a change? Scan the newspaper for an interesting museum exhibition, or hit up a pool hall. And if you know that you can't make it through one day without wanting to beat your brother silly, plan a little friendly competition during lunchtime. A picnic-style poker game or vicious Scrabble showdown will allow you and your siblings to have it out under the guise of sweet family toget
herness.

  30 Cook a Three-Course Dinner

  “What's for dinner?” If you're usually asking this question, try answering it one night (undoubtedly to the shock and delight of your household's resident chef). Cooking a three-course dinner might seem daunting if your previous preparations have been limited to late-night Hot Pockets, but the process can be simple and fun. Think of the kitchen as equal parts art studio and scientist's lab, where you can express your epicurean desires and concoct creative dishes that can't be found on the menu at Mickey D's or T.G.I. Friday's. If that's not motivation enough, consider this: The stomach is the way to the heart. Learn how to cook and you'll score big with future college crushes.

  How to Do It

  For meal ideas, specific ingredients, and instructions, look through cookbooks at home — they're probably stashed away on a kitchen shelf — or surf the web for the thousands of helpful sites featuring recipes both simple and advanced. Determine the number of people you're cooking for and purchase the right amount of ingredients based on your recipe instructions. When in doubt, buy extra; it's always better to have leftovers than to tell Dad or your big sis that they'll have to settle for PB&J sandwiches. Keep in mind your family members' particular food faves and dietary restrictions, and adapt your three-course meal to suit their tastes, using unusual seasonings (harissa, curry, and saffron) and dressings (tahini or flax oil with vinegar) to spice up popular standbys such as grilled chicken and chef salads. Presentation counts, too, so throw on some cool garnishes (sprig of rosemary for a meat dish or asturshins atop a frisée salad), and opt for nice dishes as opposed to the plastic three-compartment plates tucked away with the wooden chopsticks in the kitchen's scary random-things drawer. And don't forget, as the cook, you're exempt from clean up duty.