by Cherry Kay
“Alright, I get that. Well, you do owe me. I’ll be thinking of something epic because I almost got caught in there by the Student Accounts people.”
I kiss Lu on the cheek and she bats me away. “Thank you so much, Lu. Like I said, I’m shoveling your snow for a week.” I tell her honestly and she rolls her eyes.
“Good, don’t be late, come around every morning.” I promise her I will and she gets out of the car before jogging back inside and out of the cold. I stare at the piece of paper a second more and pick up my cell phone to dial Ali’s number. It rings several times before she answers.
The sound of her voice has me freezing up; I don’t know what to say to her. “Hello, who’s this?” She says politely, she’s always so sweet. My chest constricts and I force myself to speak.
“Hi Ali…it’s uh-it’s…” I stumble over my words. What the heck is my problem, since when can’t I talk to a girl?
“Adam-Dr. G?” She sounds shocked and she corrects herself when she says my name. I hate that she feels she still needs to do that.
“Please call me Adam, never call me Dr. G again.” There’s a thick silence and I hurry to fill it. “I wanted to make sure that everything is alright with you…you know, with you missing the class final and all.” Ali is still silent and I wonder if we’ve been disconnected. “Are you there, Ali?” I ask before checking the screen on my phone. The call is still connected.
“Yes I’m here…Adam. I need to speak with you, face to face.” I jump at the chance to see her again, not even realizing how strange her voice sounds and forgetting the tension coming from her end of the line.
“Of course, do you want to meet up today?” I ask expectantly and practically hold my breath while I wait for her to answer.
"Yes, I think that would be best. Can you meet me…can you meet me at the Boston Coffee House just outside of campus? I’m actually here now.” I pull out of the parking space and head to the Coffee House.
“I’ll be there in two minutes, I’m leaving from campus.” I tell her. She hangs up with a “quiet see you soon” and I focus on the speed limit. The urgency I have to see her and make sure everything is all right with her is overwhelming; she’s all that my mind is focused on. I pull into the café’s parking lot and nearly forget to lock my car. I need to take a few deep breaths and get it together.
I open the door and step inside, spotting her instantly; she’s sitting at a table for two near the window. Her head is down and she’s staring intently at her tablet resting on the table. Ali’s wearing an oversized lilac sweater and jeans with a pair of light grey snow boots. Her hair is loose, the tight curls falling freely to her back. I think it’s gotten longer. She picks up her tea mug and takes a sip before setting it down again.
I finally walk over to her and touch her shoulder. Ali looks up in surprise. “That was fast.” She says, mildly impressed. Her eyes seem sad; she still looks tired and worn.
“What’s wrong Ali?” I ask and sit down across from her.
She simply stares at me for a moment and then turns slightly to fish something out of her coat that is draped over the back of her chair. It’s a small photo shaped rectangle folded in half. She simply hands it to me without a word and I take it slowly. I open it and my brows furrow in confusion.
“What am I looking at?” I ask her and she points to a little black area in the midst of what looks like static, inside the dark oval is a little white circle.
“That’s…that’s our baby.” Oh a baby. Our…baby…our baby?
“They were able to take a picture of him today…I’m pregnant obviously…. I saw his heartbeat and everything today, too. They say he’s healthy so far…” Ali stops talking, her voice shaky and more than nervous.
“Our baby?” I ask her on a broken whisper. She looks me in the eye and nods once. I know then for sure that Ali isn’t the type to sleep around. I got her pregnant. I was so worried about ruining her future…and I already did before I even stopped to think of the repercussions if we were having unprotected sex.
“I’m-…Ali I’m so fucking sorry.” Emotion I can’t describe floods my chest. I’m devastated that I made her life this much harder, she’s so young…I hate that I so selfishly had sex with her and then cut her off as if she meant nothing.
Sitting here, seeing the amount of stress she’s under, I’m worried about her future…and the baby’s. My world abruptly expands and focuses all at once to include Ali and the baby and to focus on them as my top priorities. This moment is more humbling than I could have ever prepared for.
“What are you thinking?” She whispers and I look down at the picture of the ultrasound, at the small bean that’s growing inside Ali right now.
“I want to take care of you. You and the baby.” Ali’s eyes fill with water and I wonder what I said to upset her. Shit, she’s pregnant of course she’s going to be sensitive. “What’s wrong? I didn’t mean to upset you. I just…I want to be here for you all the time, I want the baby to never have to worry about anything.” Ali sniffles and wipes her eyes.
“I know, I know. I --just-everything has been really difficult since I found out and my parents…they cut me off when they learned about the pregnancy and it’s just been hard when faced with doing this alone. I never thought you’d call me or want anything to do with me.” I feel a surge of unexpected anger at her parents for abandoning her at such a hard time.
“Is that why you missed the final? You found out you were pregnant?”
Ali shakes her head and she bites her lip nervously. “I had a bout of really bad morning sickness and had an episode from dehydration. A friend of mine drove me to the hospital instead of school.” There was so much loaded in her response. The fact that she had to go through that alone infuriates me.
“You could have told me sooner Ali, you should have never assumed that I wanted nothing to do with you, that’s just not true.” Ali tilts her head at me, giving me a look that is slightly unbelieving. “I mean when faced with something so important, you should have come to me. I’m the father for Pete’s sake… What’s your situation like?” I ask and her gaze becomes confused at my abrupt change in topic. “You said that your parents cut you off.”
Ali’s eyes sadden and she nods. “Yeah, they’ve practically disowned me. I’m lucky to even be on my mother’s medical insurance at this point.” She sighs and sits back in her chair. “My dad has stopped paying for my apartment, I don’t have a job yet, and currently I’m staying with my best friend, Kelsey.”
“I want you to move in with me, I have a house on Summit Road, there’s more than enough room for you.” Ali blinks at me in shock, not expecting me to demand she move in with me, and honestly, I didn’t expect it either. But I don’t want another instance of where she needs me and I’m not there to take care of her, to help her.
“I can’t just…move in with you, Adam. We barely know each other and…problems could arise. I just don’t know about that.” She says, her voice heavy with hesitation.
“Ali…I have to be there for you. I can’t go to bed at night while you’re homeless and staying at a friend’s house. You can live with me, I have three empty bedrooms and you can move your stuff into one and in a few months, we can move stuff for the baby into another.”
Ali chews on her lip, obviously battling with herself. She doesn’t want to make a wrong decision. “We’d be like…roommates?” She asks tentatively and I nod, whatever she has to tell herself as long as she’s coming home with me.
“I’ll even let you pay for groceries when you can manage it, if you want.”
Ali releases a deep breath and nods slowly. “Fine, okay. I’ll --I’ll move in with you.” She says in reluctant defeat. “I just don’t want to jump into something we could regret down the road…” She looks at me pointedly and I know she’s referring to how this all began. How I cut things off and blamed it on school policy.
“That won’t happen Ali, you have my word. I’m taking care of you and our baby n
ow. We’ll be a family, I promise.” I take her hand and hold it in both of mine. “My dad was never around growing up and I don’t want that for our Little Bean.” I smile at her and for the first time, her expression lightens a bit.
“Little Bean?”
I shrug and glance at the ultra sound. “Doesn’t the name suit him so far?” Ali giggles and she nods. It’s good to finally see her smile, and hear her laugh. I vow to myself to get her smiling more.
“I guess so, but we aren’t naming him that when he comes out,” she says firmly, with humor lightening her tone.
“Yeah, he’d be made fun of in school with a name like that.” Ali laughs again and I relax a little, pleased with myself. “So all of your things are at your friend’s place?” I ask her and she shakes her head, her expression sobering.
“I have to sell some of my furniture and things from my apartment, I have nowhere to put them so most of my stuff is in storage.”
I shake my head. “You don’t have to do that, you can move everything into my place. I don’t have any furniture in my family room and it’s pitiful really, what I’ve got in the kitchen. Plus you can move your bedroom stuff into one of the guest rooms.” I smile at her, already things are working out. Thank goodness I have no stylistic eye and have put off decorating the house for so long.
“Are you sure? I can just move my entire apartment into your house?” I nod eagerly and she glances down at her tablet and checks something.
A relieved smile brightens her features once again. “What is it? What’s the good news?” I ask and she looks up at me with excitement.
“I got an internship, at a publishing company. It’s like an hour’s drive away, near the coast, but it’s at a publishing company!” I can tell this is the first good news she’s heard in weeks. “It’s a paid internship too, oh this is so exciting!” Almost instantly her features are suffused with a warm glow, she’s almost too beautiful to look at. Our Little Bean would be one cute baby if he looks anything like Ali.
“That’s great news, see things are looking up already.” I smile at her reassuringly and she smiles thoughtfully.
“Yeah…I guess so.”
I pick up the ultrasound and fold it in half to stick into my pocket. “I can keep this, right?”
I ask and she nods, her smile tentative this time. “I have two others in my coat.”
“So do you want to see your new home before we start moving your things in?”
“Yeah, I guess we’re doing this then.” She takes a deep breath and I see her mentally put her big girl pants on. We are doing this, and we’re doing it together. I guess I should get my big boy pants on and take a deep breath, too.
Chapter Five
Adam has a really nice house. It’s cozy and spacious at the same time. The outside is so unassuming, your standard Connecticut home, snuggled into tall trees which hide the actual size of it. Walking into the foyer, the house smells of pine and cinnamon. A really nice combination, it reminds me of Christmas, which happens to be in less than a few weeks.
Adam takes me through the house, showing me the office, living room, dining room, family room and kitchen. Then upstairs is another family area and four bedrooms with two bathrooms upstairs and one downstairs.
“And there’s an apartment above the garage, but I haven’t finished putting up the walls in there yet.” Adam mentions as we move into the only room with much furniture, the living room. “I’ve saved up for a long time to buy a house I can fix up on my own. I just didn’t realize how exhausting it would be to decorate it too. I guess the place just needs a woman’s touch now.” Adam smiles at me with a twinkle in his eye and I smirk. I hadn’t expected him to be the home renovator type.
“Well, you’re lucky my living room furniture pretty much matches the lighter colors of what’s in here, we can put it in the family room. My dining room table is small though, it’s more of an eat-in kitchen size.”
Adam smiles widely. “That’s perfect. See how well things are working for us already?” I almost snort.
“You say that now. I still have to figure out how I’m going to tell Kelsey I’m moving in with you. She kind of hates you. She’s assumed you’re a playboy who doesn’t care about the repercussions of your amorous actions.”
Adam surprises me, for the thousandth time today, by laughing instead of getting annoyed or offended. “I understand why she’d think that. How about I go with you to break the news, and then we’ll go and get a rental truck to move your stuff out of storage,” Adam suggests openly.
I still don’t know if it’s such a good idea to be moving in with him, but I really have no other options. It’s not like I can impose on Kelsey like this when the baby is born. My parents have washed their hands of me, convinced that I’ve ruined my life, they don’t want to support me and an “illegitimate child.”
“Hey, where did you go?” Adam snaps me out of my introspection and I give him an apologetic smile.
“Sorry…um, yeah I think it’ll be a good idea for us to tell Kelsey together.” I nod and Adam stands up, ready to go right away. “She’s at work right now so we won’t get to her until around three.”
“Alright so we’ll move you in first then.” I want to tell Adam to slow his roll a little bit. Everything is moving so quickly all of a sudden, that I can’t wrap my head around any of it.
“Are you tired? We don’t have to do it now…or I can take care of it while you rest, if you want.”
Adam is studying my expression and I find that I am tired. I have been, ever since I got that call from Dr. Wilson. Sleep hasn’t been my friend, but stress has been close to my side.
“Yeah, those circles around your eyes just got darker. Come on, you can sleep in my bed and I’ll take care of at least moving your bed into one of the guest rooms. Which one was your favorite?” Adam asks me while he leads me up the stairs holding my hand as if I might drop from exhaustion at any second.
“The one on the right, it had a great view of the trees.”
Adam takes me into his room and sits me on his bed. He crouches to remove my boots and socks for me. My heart melts a little at how determined he is to take care of me. This isn’t the detached professor who broke things off so coolly in his office; this is the Adam I got a glimpse of the night before. The one who likes old sitcoms and Finding Nemo.
Adam asks me for all the storage information and he tells me he’ll be back in an hour, or two, at the most. I nod, my head falling down on one of his pillows as if by magnetic attraction. Adam smiles at me and tells me to rest before he disappears through the bedroom door.
***
I wake to the sound of Kelsey’s ring tone blaring into my skull. I fish my cell phone from under the pillow. When did it get there?
“Hello?” I answer groggily and Kelsey yells at me from the other line.
Her voice alarmed and accusing. “What the hell Ali, you’re moving in with him?”
Oh crap, I check the time quickly, it’s almost nine at night. I slept all day.
“Calm down Kels, I was going to talk to you about it but I fell asleep. Where are you?” I ask her and she sighs in frustration.
“I’m at my apartment, I just got a call from professor baby daddy that you wouldn’t be here tonight because you fell asleep at his place and, I quote, “we have to talk to you about something tomorrow.” I’m not stupid; I put two and two together. I thought you weren’t in contact with Adam at all.” I sigh and sit up while brushing my hair out of my face.
“He called me today…I don’t know how he got my number, but he called and we met up after my appointment and I told him. He’s really adamant, he wants to take care of the baby and me. What better option do I have? I can’t impose on you forever, Kelsey. You snore really loud.” Kelsey laughs reluctantly and I relax, that’s Kels for you, never one for a grudge.
“Whatever, bitch, my snoring is ambient and you know it. It helps with REM.”
We both crack up and I sigh. ”A lot is c
hanging…I got that internship, by the way, at Ranch House.”Kelsey squeals in excitement, her mood already having done a one-eighty, and she congratulates me. “See! Things are looking up, you’ll start working there and they’ll realize how much of a genius you are and make you an editor right away.” I giggle at Kelsey’s optimism.
“One can only hope. Anyway are you cool with this? Me moving in with Adam?” I ask and hold my breath.
“Yeah girl, I understand. I’m actually glad he stepped up to take care of you and the Little Bun. Someone has to.”
I laugh, and tell Kelsey the baby’s new name. “Little Bean? Yeah we’re definitely not letting him name the baby.”
“But your name for him isn’t that different.” I snort and I can almost hear Kelsey rolling her eyes.
“Bun is completely different from Bean. Plus it’s unisex, just because you keep calling it ‘he’ doesn’t mean it’s gonna be a boy.”
I laugh at her odd reasoning and shake my head fondly. “Well we don’t have to think about definite names until we know the sex of the baby for sure. I can’t help but think it’s going to be a boy, though.” I say a bit dreamily. It would be perfect to have a little mixed baby boy with curly brown hair and his father’s blue eyes.
“Well I’ve already picked up the big book of baby names so you better call me over when you guys start to think about what to call him for sure.” I promise Kelsey that she’ll be as involved with everything as she wants to be.
I like the fact that my baby will at least have a God Mother who loves him. Kelsey and I stay on the line for another twenty minutes fantasizing about the future. It’s easy to sit back and imagine a life full of happy memories with her, Adam, the baby and I. When I finally end the call, I can’t deny the wave of sadness that envelops me when I am reminded that Little Bean won’t know his grandparents and might not know his uncles either.
“You’re awake. I thought you were going to be asleep for the rest of the day.” Adam walks into his room and lounges on the bed next to me, his hand propping his head up as his eyes scan my face.