Falling in Deep Collection Box Set

by Pauline Creeden

  My heart leapt in my chest. She could help me, maybe even tell me if my situation was permanent. And her house was near to the water….

  “And Ia,” he said as he pulled me closer. His movement was powerful, as though he could crush me with his hands, and yet tenderness was in his touch as he gently lifted my face toward his. “You are exquisite and incomparable. Keep your distance from the house.”

  He released me, and then began to walk away.

  “Matthias, wait, please,” I said, swallowing my anxiety. “Will you teach me as you do Joseph?”

  He stopped in his tracks, and then approached me in haste.

  “Not permitted. Only house slaves may learn enough to keep them distinguished in their duties.”

  My brow furrowed, and hope sank a little that I could learn more about this world, maybe learn more about the puzzling man before me. Hot air bellowed out of his nostrils, and he shook his head.

  “I will do this as it would please my mother, but you must not speak of it to anyone,” he said, soft and low.

  I nodded, and when I caught a darkening look from him, I remembered. “Yes, sir.”

  “Matthias, do not bring yourself trouble on my account,” I continued. “If educating me is something that could endanger you, that is.”

  He scoffed, a soft smile on his lips.

  “Do not worry for me. I will be fine. I always am.”

  Thoughts of Matthias lashing me, and Zatia’s words came to surface, as well as Asa’s back. In fact, all of the poor souls from Africa had scars. Some were more visible than others. Some were read on their weathered faces, their slouched statures, and pleading eyes.

  Matthias blinked with every lash given. Was it simply from the noise, or was there empathy hiding in him? Was he flinching in disguise?

  “Has? Have you?” I stopped. The question was inappropriate, and it was out of curiosity as much as of my concern for him that I started to ask. “Have you ever been…hit?”

  “You mean received lashes – from a whip?”

  His face darkened, lips pursed a little, and every inch of him told me before he even answered.

  “More times than I care to remember and still less than my mother’s people bear by the age of ten.”

  “I am sorry for that.”

  Those were the only words I could think of. It was grotesque, this place, and yet it mirrored my own. I wanted to embrace him, embrace the people made to feel of low worth, forgive him of the harm he caused me this morning. Create a place of refuge, safety, where we may exist and thrive above these divisions.

  “You best get to your quarters before someone takes notice,” Matthias said.

  “Yes, sir,” I replied, but through all this, a question still remained. I appreciated his defense, the role of guardian he had assumed over me, but why? Why me, and not the other enslaved ones, his mother’s people, the ones brutalized day in and out in the fields?

  There was something about Matthias, something troubled and yet something good, and I sensed it all in my bones.

  Chapter 9

  Excruciating. Agonizing to move, to breathe.

  The soreness of my muscles made me tremble as much as the pain across my back. I cursed Matthias under my breath as I made my way to the stables. Morning had just broken, and I made out the silhouette of Joseph moving about, extinguishing the lanterns one by one as I neared. The large doors at both ends of the building were open to let the morning light in.

  Abel was in the nearest pasture, working with a beautiful stallion that had been the master’s most recent acquisition. The horse was a magnificent creature, his coat already glistening as he moved to Abel’s commands and crack of his whip.

  I knew of horses before I found myself stranded ashore, had seen them from a distance as they drew carts and carriages along the water’s edge and worked about the docks alongside their masters, but never had I been allowed the close distance or time to admire the magnificence of them until I worked with Joseph.

  I slowed to take the stallion in, and I found myself stopped, leaning against the fence. This horse was one of five that refused to let me near it, but tolerated Joseph quite well. I wondered if he sensed what I was underneath this fragile form.

  “He is magnificent,” a voice next to me said, and I looked up, startled, to see the master at my side. “Superior bloodline. If his breed had nobility, he would be King.”

  “Yes, sir,” I said, careful to keep my head lowered as I had observed others do.

  “I have not seen you in the house,” he said.

  “No, sir, I have been assigned to the stables.”

  “Indeed,” he said, clicking his tongue. “I expected you to be assigned a duty in the house, but Matthias is not easily persuaded to let me have my way. Such a lovely face to be shoveling hay and manure all day.”

  “Thank you, sir,” I replied. I swallowed and found my mouth incredibly dry.

  “You shall accompany me, then,” he said, offering his arm. I took it without hesitation, switching the cane to my other hand as we walked to the stables. “I purchased him from the royal estate, that one.”

  He nodded to the stallion.

  “He is the most beautiful creature I have seen, sir,” I said, and he stopped, a pleased smile stretching across his lips.

  “Yes,” he replied. “It pleases me to see I am not the only one on these grounds who recognizes the majesty that he is.”

  We neared the stables, and Matthias came from around the corner, guiding his chestnut mare.

  “Ah, Matthias,” the Master called, and I watched Matthias’ face pale and his jaw set as he glanced from me to the man next to me. “I expected you to be in the southern fields today.”

  Matthias nodded. “I just came from there, sir.”

  His face was cool but strained, and he swallowed as he averted his sight away from me. Whatever emotion he was struggling to hide only made it more visible. Lord Malcom tilted his head to the side as he shifted his gaze between us, and then lowered the arm that had supported me.

  “You best see to your duties, girl,” he said, keeping his attention more on Matthias than myself.

  “Yes, sir,” I said, walking into the stables as fast as my body would let me.

  “Where have you been?” Joseph called as he emptied a bucket of water into a trough. “You are late, you know. And today is Wednesday.”

  He moved quicker than I could, and I struggled to catch up to him as he made his way to the water well.

  “What is special about Wednesday?”

  “Every Wednesday, the master comes to inspect the horses, and sometimes, he rides out to visit the other rich people.”

  We were out of breath, Joseph from the frantic work and myself from keeping up with his stout, quick little legs.

  “I’m sorry, Joseph, but that was who detained me.”

  I grabbed an empty bucket from him and attached it to the hook.

  Joseph turned the crank, lowering the pail down into the well, and then paused.

  “The master? He saw you?” He shook his head, muttering something under his breath.

  “Yes, and talked to me as we walked to the stables.”

  He shook his head. “Matthias told me to hide you when the Master comes.” He sighed as he jutted out his chin. “Too late now. We’ll both be in trouble.”

  “We would surely cross paths someday, and that is a ridiculous request.”

  Joseph had nothing to say to my comment, instead putting himself back in our work.

  Why would Matthias be worried? What harm could the master bring that Matthias hasn’t already done to me in some form or fashion?

  He could kill me, flog me. Then again, there are worse things than death. There are always worse things than death.

  * * *

  A few days turned into two weeks, and the labor blended with the ache of my muscles until I was numb to it.

  Walking became easier for me. Working in the stables developed my balance, and it became suc
h that I only needed my cane when walking long distances, such as from the stables to the tree at the far edge of the corral for our lessons at dusk.

  Joseph, as well as Abel, adhered to Matthias’ wishes and sent me off on some made-up errand every Wednesday, keeping me busy until the sun reached the middle of the sky, and I could return to my required work.

  The lessons that Matthias conducted in the near dark made all the effort worthwhile to me, more than I could have imagined. They fascinated me, the history, the geography, everything. Joseph would read to me, Matthias assisting only when the words were unfamiliar or difficult.

  “I will teach you to read someday,” Matthias told me.

  He had hopes that Joseph could obtain a more esteemed position as he grew, maybe even be given an allowance to save for and eventually purchase his freedom.

  “He will allow that? A slave to purchase their freedom?”

  The softened side of Matthias blossomed, his guard easing as the time went on, but when I asked of the Lord Malcom or questioned slavery, he hardened back to the man I feared.

  “No. If Joseph is sold, however, he may prove himself worthy to a new master, show that he is capable of becoming more than a stable boy or a farrier, though both those positions are still of merit and valued.”

  Joseph nodded. “Yes. I could be working the fields all day, every day, like all the others.”

  “Then I would not have such excellent company to work with,” I said, using some of the new words I had picked up from listening to the readings. Joseph grinned at my newfound eloquence, and I thought I saw a hint of a smile at the corners of Matthias’ mouth.

  Sometimes Matthias was late, his duties as foreman superseding all, and on the rare occasion, he was absent entirely, with no word or explanation as to why – nor would we ever ask it of him.

  Our lessons following those times found him harsh, unyielding, and impatient toward us, with not so much as a kind word.

  All the other times were pleasant. The fresh air brought comfort to me, a sense of something redeeming in the middle of all this suffering. Joseph and I huddled as close as we could to the single lantern Matthias brought with him, struggling to see the pictures in Matthias’ book in the fading daylight.

  My first lesson was a continuation of Joseph’s studies in mathematics. The numbers terrified and intrigued me, and the immediate immersion made me reconsider joining them. Joseph encouraged me, however, teaching me to the best of his ability some of what he had learned from Matthias as we worked.

  Some lessons were even on manners. How one should set a table, order of seating for those with titles and nobility, all things that Matthias was confident Joseph could use to his advantage someday, even though Matthias only knew them in theory.

  But as fate would have it, the small piece of contentment we’d found was all too abruptly and horrifically interrupted.

  The day began as its predecessors. I awoke before dawn and made my way to the stables. No longer needing light to guide my steps across the terrain, I kept my sight fixed on the two lanterns framing the main doors. Abel, early riser that he was, had lit them sometime earlier, quite a bit earlier, or so I could tell from their weakening glow.

  As I neared, I saw the doors were open, and could make out a small light from the lanterns inside. Above the neighing horses, I heard a man’s voice, not Matthias nor Abel, stern and very angry.

  From the way he stood, clutching the reins of a horse, I thought it to be Jasper, an overseer that was often dispatched to the town for slave purchase and trade. I had not encountered him before as Abel and Joseph were quick to send me off when they caught sight of any overseer or Lord Malcom.

  I hastened my footsteps, and cringed as Jasper’s rage grew, his voice rising. I could not make out all the words, just enough to know he was not pleased with something in regards to his steed, water or hay, or something of that manner, and as I entered, I expected to see Abel as the recipient of his foul-temper.

  Instead, I found Joseph.

  He stood in front of Jasper, blinking and shrinking as the man spat with each word. Veins popped up around Jasper’s neck, the one-sided argument turning in a circle, his own words further fueling his ire. Jasper jerked, and seeing a bit and bridle hanging on one of the stall doors, he reached for it, and swung it around, building its motion until he brought it down on the poor boy.

  The metal hit with a sickening thud upside Joseph’s right ear, and he collapsed.

  I froze, half in disbelief and half in terror, expecting the man to consider the damage done and ride off in his fury. Instead, he continued to lash at Joseph’s crumpled form, striking every bit of flesh he could see, cursing loud enough that I sensed someone would hear.

  My horror gave way to anger, and I no longer cared about the position it would put me in.

  I would not see this boy, or any child or adult for that matter, beat to death. I threw myself on top of him, and absorbed two blows before Jasper came to some sense and realized he was no longer striking his intended target.

  “What in bloody hell do you think you are doing, woman?”

  “You are killing him, sir. You need to calm yourself,” I hoped my advice would somehow have weight with him.

  He snorted.

  “I will choose when to calm myself,” he yelled, the volume of his voice shaking the rafters. “Remove yourself now, woman, or you will join him.”

  Closing my eyes, I tightened myself around Joseph, trying to turn us into as small a target as I could muster. He brought his weapon down upon me, and I cried out, unable to contain the pain of it, again, and again.

  “Enough!”

  A voice yelled, and I knew it to be Matthias. “You will control yourself, sir!”

  I cracked my eyelids open just enough to see Matthias holding Jasper’s cocked arm.

  “Their punishment was just, Matthias,” Jasper said, his chest heaving. Matthias kept a cold expression.

  “That boy, Jasper, is worth more than you when the Master chooses to sell him,” Matthias said, his tone calm, collected. “You would deny him his profit because you were slightly inconvenienced?”

  Jasper’s face fell, the anger evaporating with mention of Joseph’s worth, but he steeled himself again as he looked down at me.

  “That,” Jasper said, nodding to me, “is nothing. You wouldn’t even want to breed her to a slave.”

  Matthias’ jaw tensed. “We do not yet know who she may be contracted to, Jasper – or for what reason. Can you afford to purchase her contract if you render her completely useless or dead?”

  Jasper jerked his arm free, dropping the bit and bridle at our feet.

  “Get to your duties,” Matthias said as Jasper spat on me. “I’ll see she pays for her defiance.”

  He nodded, then mounted his horse and rode out, spurring it to run as quick as it could. Matthias watched him and waited, saying nothing until he crouched and reached for my shoulders.

  “Get up. Get up now.” He pulled me up, and I groaned.

  “Are you injured?” he asked me as he bent to care for Joseph.

  “Is he alive?” I steadied myself against an open stall door as Matthias lifted an unmoving Joseph into his arms.

  “He’s breathing.”

  Matthias carried Joseph out of the stables. I grabbed my cane and limped along, trying to keep pace.

  He stopped me at the door of the quarters, out of breath and blood soaked. Matthias nodded to the mare he’d left standing outside the stables. It grazed along the path we took, making its way to Matthias. “Water her, and continue with your duties.” He looked around to see who was in earshot. “I’ll meet you tonight.”

  “Yes, sir,” I nodded and guided the horse back.

  My workload doubled, and I labored into the night to finish what Joseph could accomplish in an afternoon. Abel helped me where he could, but it was evident I could not replace Joseph if he were dead or injured beyond repair. I could not carry on in his footsteps.

  T
he thought of his loss paralyzed me at the end of my day. My stomach churned along with my thoughts, and I found myself late to what would have been our lesson. Matthias was there, his face barely visible in the waning light of his lamp.

  “You are late.” He was chagrined and worn, stretched out on the knoll, his arms behind his head as he looked up at the sky. Small splotches of dark dotted his sleeves. I could smell it – the blood.

  “I had to complete Joseph’s duties as well as my own.”

  “Asa will assist you tomorrow.”

  “I don’t know how to help Abel with the horses,” I said, my words shaking as I sat next to him, and then laid back, my body craving the rest.

  “Abel will teach you should he need the help,” he said, still not bothering to look at me.

  “Joseph?” I asked, fearing bad news.

  “My mother is with him. She believes he will recover,” Matthias said. “Although, how much remains uncertain.”

  Relief flooded me, and before I could restrain myself, I sobbed, covering my face with my hands as the tears flowed. Crying above the water was such an unusual sensation, so cathartic, so releasing, that I let it go, regardless of Matthias’ irritation.

  Warmth embraced my hand, and fingers interlaced with mine, the skin so rough and yet the touch so gentle. I uncovered my face to find Matthias on his side, propped up with an elbow, holding one of my hands, his face mirroring my pain.

  “What of Jasper? What will be done with him?”

  Matthias’ ran a hand over his face as he sighed. “Very little. He will be docked pay for it if Joseph lives, perhaps fired or made to work off the debt if Joseph were to perish.”

  My jaw fell open as I shook my head. “That is all? For beating a boy nearly to death?”

  Matthias nodded, slow. “He is a slave. I have no words to ease your anger.”

  “I’m sorry,” I blubbered, embarrassed as the sobs roared up, busted out, and shook me with their force.

  Grabbing my shoulder, he pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around me as I trembled. The gentle weight of his chin rested on the top of my head.

  A part of me wanted to push him away, changeable and hurtful as he could be, but the larger part found peace and protection in his arms. When the tears ceased, and my raging emotions had been exhausted, I peeled my face from his shirt.