Angeldust

by Peach, Hanna

  “I know.” Through their mental bond, Alyx shared with him her demon-induced vision where she watched Israel as an old man dying. “I was preparing myself for that. If I could live a full life with you, then maybe, maybe I could let you go. But…” she choked on a sob.

  His hands came up to find her arms and hold her lightly. There was barely any strength left in him. “You have to do this with me, angel. I can’t do it without you.”

  She knew what he needed from her and she wouldn’t. She could stop him from sacrificing himself. “I won’t do it.”

  “Do you remember when you told me that you would do anything for me?”

  For a moment she didn’t, but then the memory resurfaced. It had been the night before she left for Atlantis. It had been the last night they had spent together. “I love you. I love you so much. More than my own life. I would do anything for you.”

  “I… remember.”

  “Did you mean it?”

  Alyx squeezed her eyes shut, hot tears pressing out from between her lids. She knew where he was going with this. “No. No. Killing you is not part of it.”

  “You wouldn’t be killing me. I am offering them my life for theirs. It’s the right choice.”

  Deep down, she knew it was. But she still couldn’t accept it. “It’s not fair! We didn’t get enough time together.”

  He leaned his forehead against hers. “Even if we had forever, it wouldn’t be long enough.”

  “You would kill me too?”

  He froze against her. “What are you talking about?” She had never told him about the fatal catch to their Guardian bond.

  “It’s part of the Guardian bond. If you die, then…I die too.”

  Israel was silent.

  Alyx hated the selfish part of her for blurting this out aloud, for blackmailing Israel with her own death, a death she knew he could never be a part of.

  “You never told me,” he said.

  “I never wanted to burden you.”

  He pulled her close and buried his chin in her neck. “You can’t die. I won’t let you,” he said fiercely. “Let them burn. Let all the world burn if only you get to live.”

  Alyx felt the fight slipping from her bones; as it did, a shade lifted from her eyes. Suddenly she could see clearly. Here was a crossroads before two futures for the Seraphim: one that looked bleak but with Alyx and Israel still alive in it; the other, bright and full of hope but missing their presence.

  She thought of the first possibility − of them both leaving here alive and getting to live a life together. A life, yes, but a life full of guilt, of all this potential unfulfilled, until finally, Israel would die a mortal death and she would be left without him.

  But if they both chose the other path and gave up their lives, they could both go, wherever it was that souls go when the body has given up, together. Alyx thought of the thousands of souls around them and their potential, unknown to themselves and each other. She knew Israel was right in what he had to do…in what they had to do together.

  There came a kind of peace over her. Where he went, she would follow. “We have to do it, Israel,” she said.

  “No. You must live.”

  “No. We can’t. You were right.”

  “But you just−”

  “Don’t you know it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind?” she joked on a sob. She opened up her understanding to him and he stilled.

  “Okay,” he said, “let’s do it.”

  “Together.”

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Through Alyx’s eyes Israel saw the ferocious battle still raging on pointlessly around them. Show me their souls, Alyx.

  She opened up her Soulsight and his world burst into light. Through Alyx’s eyes he saw every Seraphim around him as who they are really were underneath, a soul of purest light. He felt a deep love rush up through him and become a part of him. He no longer felt pain in his body. No anger cloaked his heart or tainted his vision. It was the greatest power this universe would ever know.

  Because Alyx was joined to him, she felt this too. They were part of one another now, a single breath of complete understanding.

  He took all of this and he pushed it out into the air towards every single soul around him as the Elder had taught him. He didn’t extinguish their flames − although he knew his power would have let him do just that − but he “breathed” this into the very center of every single Seraphim across the valley.

  All at once he heard a collective gasp. Immediately the clang of swords stopped and the valley grew quiet. Israel knew instantly that they could all see what he saw and feel what he felt. They all knew. The hush grew as each Seraphim, black or white, Castus and warrior, Society and FreeThinkers, saw each other, truly saw each other for the first time.

  As the Seraphim stood in collective awe, Israel did one more thing. Using his magic like thousands of tiny fingers, he removed all of the white scarves and armbands, all the superficial marks that made them all “different”, and sent them all to the earth where they would lie in pools of blood to soak up the spilled life and turn red, a symbol of what their collective “blindness” cost them all.

  A single thought echoed through the valley, a single thought across a sea of souls.

  Look at us. We are all the same.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  We could only get here this way, Alyx thought as she gazed across the sky, souls hanging suspended like a thousand floating stars. Elder Michael was necessary. He was the reason we all collected together, either for him or against. He, in a weird way, allowed us to become unified.

  She felt a strange snapping force. She catapulted out of Israel’s mind and all she was left with was the sensation of her own body, bruised and exhausted. She tried to touch his mind again. Israel?

  But Israel didn’t answer.

  Israel had slumped against her. Alyx pulled back from him so she could see his face. His lips had gone pale. His breaths were shallow and noisy. He had given away everything he had left. “I love you, angel,” he whispered to her. “In this life and the next.”

  “I love you too.” In this life and the next. Alyx closed her mouth over his in their last kiss on this Earth, tasting salt and copper. Their blood and tears were mixing together. Soon their souls, freed from these two bodies, would too.

  She slipped her hand under his shirt to find his heart. She felt it slow under her fingers, then finally it beat its last beat, and all that was left was the echo of her own racing heart. She kissed the very last breath from him as his body slackened in her arms.

  Around her a cheer rose up across the valley as the Seraphim discarded their swords, filing their hands with each other instead. It didn’t seem fair.

  The Earth was saved. But she didn’t care. All she loved in this world was gone. She couldn’t wait to join him. She laid Israel’s head on the ground and lay alongside him, her head on his chest. In her nook. That very spot that she felt she had been carved out of.

  Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. Alyx closed her eyes and waited for the Guardian bond to take her too.

  Chapter Fifty-Three

  “Alyx.” A male voice called her name. It was familiar. Was that Raphael? Or God? This must be Heaven.

  Her eyes flicked open, her eyes struggling to adjust to the dim light. There was a figure standing before her. As the figure kneeled, he came into focus.

  “Elder?” she said.

  She could hear the sounds of singing and laughing around her. She could feel the throb of her aching body. And the stabbing empty echo of a true love lost in her broken heart.

  Which meant she wasn’t dead.

  She pushed herself up from Israel’s chest and looked down at him. He didn’t move. He didn’t breathe. Why wasn’t she dead?

  Her mind flung itself along an endless eternal life without Israel. Every minute would be spent missing him and everything she did would just be a distraction from remembering how much she wished he was with her. This forever without him
snapped back into her body, lashing her with anguish.

  “No, how dare you leave without me,” she heard herself shrieking. “I’m supposed to go with you.” She shook him with all the fury in her body. But he didn’t wake.

  She called upon her Soulsight, praying that she could still see his soul. Perhaps she could grab it and find a way to hold it to this Earth. But there was no light left in him.

  His soul, the thing she loved, was gone.

  “If you die, I die.” She rocked him as the sobs racked her body. “That’s the Guardian bond.”

  Something went wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to live.

  She felt the Elder’s gentle hand on her shoulder. “I’m afraid,” he said, “that when he sent out that vision into the hearts of everyone, he fulfilled his role, severing your Guardian bond. He died after the bond was severed so…”

  “No!” she cried. “Take me with you!” She collapsed upon his body as her anguish drained her soul completely of energy. Her world reduced to a black hollow. She had never felt so empty. How could she be allowed to save the world and lose hers in return?

  * * *

  A great joy filled Jordan’s heart even as the light of everyone’s soul across the valley faded. Near him there was a soul that shone brighter than all the rest for him. But then again, he already knew that about Cleo. He dropped his swords as did she. He closed the gap between them and held her close. She held him back. They stood there pressed against each other as sounds of cheering began to float through the valley.

  “Looks like we actually did win,” he said. He pulled his head back to look down at her. Their faces were so close.

  “Great,” she said. “I wasn’t ready to die. Not yet anyway.” Cleo pulled away from him. She picked up her sword, sheathed it, and began to walk off towards the FreeThinker’s camp.

  “Hey,” Jordan called out. He collected and sheathed his own sword and jogged after her. “Where are you going?”

  “Away from you.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I’m still mad at you, remember?”

  Jordan grabbed her arm and she spun her until they were facing each other. “Are you serious? We fought beside each other. We almost died together.”

  “So?”

  “You… You kissed me.”

  “That’s when I thought we were going to die.”

  “I saved your life.”

  She pulled her arm out of his grip and crossed her arms over her chest. “Dear Jordan, saving my life does not constitute an apology.”

  An apology.

  She wanted an apology. Jordan knew exactly what for and he knew that she deserved it. “I…” the words failed him.

  She raised an eyebrow. Go on, her look said.

  God, he had so much he wanted to say to her…not the least of which was an apology for being a clueless ass. She must have been so confused at his behavior. At his attention, at the many nights they spent talking and laughing. But he had been confused about his feelings too.

  He tried again. “I…” All the things he wanted to say all tried to pour out at once − I’m sorry. Forgive me. I need you. They all crammed in his throat so that they became stuck and nothing came out.

  Cleo made an exasperated noise, rolled her eyes and turned to stalk away.

  He couldn’t let her go. He wouldn’t.

  He grabbed her arm again, spinning her to face him with more force this time. Her face flew into a pouty look of annoyance and she opened her mouth, probably to deal him a verbal serving, as she always did, as she was so good at, as he loved to get from her, but not right now.

  He closed his mouth down on hers. Her lips were soft, ever so soft and pliable under his own. He felt suddenly lightheaded. His fingers pushed lightly into her skin almost to keep himself from falling over.

  Then he realized that she wasn’t responding. At all. As in, she was frozen against him. Was it from shock or did she not want him? Had he misread her desire and her anger at him?

  He loosened his grip on her and pulled his lips from hers. He stumbled back and waited for the slap that was sure to accompany her silence. But she didn’t hit him. In fact she didn’t look angry. She looked shocked.

  That was different.

  “Cleo, I−”

  She crossed the widening space between them and their lips met again, her hands moving up his body to wrap around his neck, anchoring them together. He pushed his tongue between her lips and got his first taste of her. She was sweet like a cherry and the feeling of her soft tongue dancing together with his made his head spin. It was like he was underwater. He felt weightless and the edges of reality blurred around them.

  Finally, after feeling like he had gone too long without air, he pulled away.

  “That,” said Cleo, her voice husky, “still wasn’t an apology.”

  Jordan laughed. Then he saw the look on her face. “Wait, you’re serious?”

  Her look said, damn straight, I am.

  She wasn’t going to let him get away with anything, was she? Ever. Inside he smiled to himself. This, he really liked about her. More than liked… He grabbed one of her hands and held it in both of his. “Dear Cleo…”

  “This better be good.”

  “A little silence, please? I’m trying to apologize here.”

  She raised her free hand up and waved it to him in a well go on motion.

  “Cleo, you were right.”

  “I know that. I’m always right. What are you talking about specifically?”

  “I was wrong to say those things to Alyx about you, about us. I didn’t mean them. I’m not even sure why I said them. I know that it’s over between Alyx and me, whatever little of us there even was to start with. And there’s you. I was using Alyx to avoid this growing…thing between−”

  “Thing?”

  Yes, “thing” was definitely not the right word to use. He tried again. “I was ignoring these feelings I have for you. I realize all these things now.” Jordan grabbed her shoulders. “When I was speeding back to the castle behind that dark army, do you know what the only thing I could think about was? You. That you might die without my making things right with you. That I might never get to see your face again or hear your voice again. You were all I could think about. You.” He scanned her face, looking for acceptance there, looking for a sign that she forgave him.

  She smiled and brushed his cheek with her hand. He pressed his mouth to her palm in a kiss. “You know,” she said, “it’s a lovely speech, Jordan, but you still haven’t actually said ‘I’m sorry’.”

  Yup, she wasn’t going to let him get away with anything. “I was getting to that…”

  “You can’t say it, can you?”

  “I can.”

  “Then say it.”

  “Cleo…”

  “Yes…”

  “I have something else to say to you.”

  “What is it?”

  “I’m getting to it.”

  “I’m growing old waiting.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  There was a pause. She actually had the nerve to look a little surprised that he had actually said it. “Well…” she said finally, her eyelashes blinking, “that wasn’t too hard, was it?”

  “No.” It wasn’t hard. It was the easiest thing in the world. And saying it just made him feel free and lighter. He hadn’t realized what a weight on him this apology had been. He had been such an ass. He made a noise in his throat. “I was such a fool, Cleo. I was clueless. You could see it but I−”

  “Okay. Okay, you’re sorry. You apologized. I forgive you.”

  “I was such an−”

  “Dear Jordan. Now’s the time to stop talking.”

  “Oh?”

  “Shut up and kiss me.”

  He grinned. “Yes, ma’am.” He pulled her to him once again.

  * * *

  Alyx clung to Israel, determined to hang on to him until death decided to be kind to her and take her to joi
n him. She wasn’t listening to the Elder’s attempts to soothe her. She didn’t even look up when another person joined them.

  “What happened?” In her world of total darkness, a small part of her recognized Balthazar’s voice.

  “I think it is obvious what happened,” said the Elder. “Israel fulfilled the Prophecy and paid for it with his life.”

  “And the Amulet? Michael’s body?”

  “Looks like they both fell into the portal.” Alyx couldn’t bring herself to correct the Elder.

  Balthazar cursed. Then she felt him pat her shoulder. “It’ll be alright, Alyx.”

  Her voice came out muffled, “Nothing will ever be alright again.”

  “You know,” Balthazar said slowly, “there is a way…to bring him back.”

  “Balthazar,” admonished the Elder, “you can’t be suggesting...”

  A way to bring him back? Alyx could scarcely breathe for hope as she raised her face from Israel’s chest. She wiped the tears from her face to clear her blurred vision and stared. “Balthazar, if you are joking it is the cruelest thing you could ever do to me. Do not give me such rotten hope just to dash it.”

  “There’s a way…” Balthazar began, “an ancient magic that can bring back a life taken too soon.”

  “How?”

  “Only if a demon and a Seraphim work the magic together. I would be willing to do it but I would need help…”

  “I’ll do it,” cried Alyx.

  “You can’t. You’re too young to remember this kind of magic. But…he isn’t.”

  “Elder.” Alyx turned to the Elder. “Please, Elder. Do this for me.”

  “Don’t be so quick to ask for something you don’t know anything about. Balthazar isn’t telling you everything,” the Elder said, glaring darkly at Balthazar.

  Alyx froze. “What? What isn’t he telling me?”

  “This magic, it would require a sacrifice on your part.”

  “Anything,” Alyx said. “I’ll give up anything.”

  “Even your own life?”

  Chapter Fifty-Four