Along Country Roads

by Mandy Magro

  ‘That would have been me.’ The second bottle of wine now finished, Ryan placed his glass down and hooked his arm over the back of the couch. Leaning back, he sent her a self-conscious smile.

  Matilda sensed a slight change of atmosphere. ‘What are you staring at?’

  ‘You.’

  She felt her cheeks flame. ‘Why?’

  ‘You should laugh more often. It suits you.’

  She almost gulped out loud. Wanting to make light of the compliment, Matilda playfully batted her eyelashes. ‘Why thankya, kind sir.’ She needed to get away from his intense gaze before she was rendered incapable of making sensible decisions. She quickly searched for a way out, a reason to move from where his body heat beneath the blanket was caressing her skin like seductive fingertips. Eyeing the old tyre swing hanging from a willow tree, she turned to him and grinned. ‘You wanna push me?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘On the swing over there.’

  He chuckled, deep and throaty. ‘You serious?’

  ‘Yup. I haven’t been on one of them since I was a kid.’

  ‘Okay.’ Ryan returned her grin. ‘I’ll push you if you push me.’

  She flung the blanket from her, relieved to be pulling away from his magnetism, much to Huckleberry’s displeasure who’d been peacefully asleep at her feet. He poked his head out from beneath the folds of the blanket.

  ‘Sorry to disturb you, mate.’ Matilda gave her pooch a quick rub with her toes, then turned back to Ryan. ‘Deal, race you.’

  ‘You’re on, Miss Denver.’ And before Matilda knew it he was racing a metre ahead of her while she breathlessly chased after him across the back lawn, dodging cane toads along the way and giggling like she was high on helium.

  Almost at the finish line Ryan floundered and lost his footing on a fallen tree branch, his arms flailing like a windmill as he fought to stay upright, giving her the perfect opportunity to sprint past him. With a squeal of delight she reached the swing just before he did. Slipping into the ring of the tyre she tightly gripped the ropes it was suspended from and hung her head back, so she was looking at Ryan upside down.

  ‘Haha. I win.’

  Now beside her Ryan stood hands on hips, catching his breath. ‘Pfft, whatever. I let you win.’

  She pulled herself back up to sitting so she was looking at him the right way up. ‘Oh, come on, there was no way on earth you could have faked that trip over the branch.’ She snorted back a chuckle, her eyes glistening with laughter. ‘It was epic to watch. I wish I had it on video.’

  Ryan folded his arms and playfully grinned. ‘You wanna bet I couldn’t fake a fall like that?’

  ‘Nope. Don’t need to. I know you tripped. Now push me like you mean it, I want to feel as though I’m touching the sky with my tippy toes.’

  Ryan did as she asked, until she was flying high, her toes almost touching the fairy lights dangling from the overhanging branch. The wind whipping past her as she swung to and fro and a feeling of sheer enjoyment filled her with so much zest for life she almost burst with delight. It was no wonder kids loved to swing. It was the simple things in life, the stolen moments of spontaneity, which meant the most to her. The past few years had been extremely tough and along the way she had lost her ability to be childish and wild and reckless and free. It felt so good to feel that essential part of her bubbling from within once again. She hadn’t felt this carefree, and happy, in what felt like forever, and it was all thanks to fate making her meet Ryan on that deserted country road. After such a bad start to the day, who would have thought that night could have turned out so perfectly? She sighed dreamily.

  A little drunk and lost in the moment, with wild abandonment Matilda threw her arms up in the air. She felt herself slip backwards. But before she had time to regain her grip she was tumbling from the tyre. She shut her eyes and braced for the inevitable hard fall, an involuntary squeal escaping her. But she was surprised to find her landing softer than she expected, Ryan’s arms saving her from hitting the dirt as he skidded in below her like a footy pro going in for a winning goal. With his lips close to her cheek, she could smell the sweetness of the red wine on his breath. Flicking her lids open, their eyes met and sent a silent message of a connection beyond what she wanted to acknowledge. For a few long seconds they stared at each other in wonder, the invisible walls they had both built starting to show cracks.

  No, no. NO!

  The voice of reason went crazy in her head as panic filled her. She had worked hard to put up her walls, and to keep them there. She didn’t want him to break through them. She desperately wanted to look away from his penetrating stare, to escape the searing heat between them but couldn’t bring herself to. He went to say something, but stopped. Instead, his hand came to rest on her cheek. It was then she swore she could see right through him, as if he had nothing to hide from her, as if he had bared his soul for her to embrace. She bit her lower lip to stop a smile claiming it. She didn’t want to smile. She didn’t want to like this. She didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. As much as she wanted to cave in and grab him in a passionate hungry kiss, she couldn’t, wouldn’t. Regardless, he continued to capture her gaze. It felt as though an hour had passed, whereas it was only seconds.

  Wordlessly, he backed away from her and came up on his knees. Although wishing they could stay like that forever, lost in their bubble of joy where a happily ever after was remotely possible, she almost breathed a sigh of relief that he was now at arm’s length. Then, without warning, he slid his arms beneath her once more and picked her up from the ground. Her heart pounded faster, so much so she could hear nothing but her own heartbeat. The gap between them closed, the air became thicker, the burning heat coursing through her was like an uncontrollable inferno. His full firm lips touched hers with a tenderness she had never felt before, sending an intense shiver through her body. Just when she thought he was going to pull away, he lingered, his lips resting upon hers as though waiting for an invitation to go further. She fought the desire to allow him. They couldn’t do this. She couldn’t do this. If he didn’t have the strength to stop, then she had to. As though fighting against gale force winds, she turned her face from his, all the while blinking back tears. Ryan swore. He carefully placed her down so she was standing on her own two feet, and stepped away from her. Raking his hands through his hair, he swore again, before coming to meet her gaze.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Tilly. I shouldn’t have crossed the line like that, especially without asking you. I’m the last thing you need in your life right now.’ He shook his head. ‘I really want to blame the wine but I can’t. I’ve always believed blaming slip-ups on alcohol was a cop out. So, if I’m going to be honest, it has to be you. All you. There’s something about you that makes me feel more alive than I have in a very long time, and you’re absolutely gorgeous. I just …’ He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at his bare feet.

  Her? Gorgeous? Really? Matilda almost burst out laughing. No matter what he wanted to believe, it had to be the wine talking. She didn’t know what to say. Ryan glanced up at her, his expression heart wrenching. Rocking back on her heels, she tried to smile but failed miserably. She had to downplay this before it got out of hand and they ruined a blossoming friendship. ‘Please, don’t apologise. It’s not like I pushed you away. It all happened in the heat of the moment, and I don’t care what you say, it is all thanks to the two bottles of wine we’ve demolished tonight.’ She forced a shrug as though what had just happened wasn’t a big deal, when really it was mammoth. ‘We’re both messed up from our exes and looking for comfort in each other, that’s all. No biggy.’

  He sucked in a sharp breath and then nodded. ‘Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m making a bigger deal of it than I need to.’

  ‘I think we just got carried away, that’s all.’

  ‘So where from here?’

  ‘Well, we’re both adults. So, I reckon, we forget this ever happened, hit the sack and then wake up to a brand
new day where we can start afresh, as mates.’

  ‘Just like that?’

  Matilda cocked her head to the side. ‘Yup, just like that.’

  ‘Are you sure you won’t be all weird with me tomorrow?’

  ‘I’m one hundred and ten percent positive.’ It would be a struggle to act normal around him now but she would give it a damn good try.

  Ryan smiled. ‘Great. Good. Excellent.’ He stepped forwards and held his arms wide. ‘Can we hug it out, just as mates?’

  She let him wrap his big strong arms around her. It felt so right within them she wished she could stay there for an eternity. But, true to form, she tried to lighten the atmosphere. ‘We really are a pair of bloody idiots.’

  ‘We sure are.’ He chuckled. ‘As if you and I would ever work as a couple.’

  She felt as though she’d been punched in the chest but she covered the sensation with a forced giggle. ‘Exactly. We’re too alike in so many ways we’d probably drive each other mad.’

  ‘Yeah, true.’

  Untangling from his arms she stepped back and faked a massive yawn. ‘Anyways, I’m off to bed before I flake it under this tree.’

  ‘Okay, I’m going to sit out here for a little longer. I’ll catch you in the morning.’

  ‘Yup, night.’ She turned and headed towards the steps, feeling as though she was wading through quicksand. Every inch of her wanted to turn back and give into her desires, her needs, but there was no way. She was stronger than that; she just had to be.

  Climbing the steps one at a time, she continued to fight the urge to run back into his warm embrace. All the feelings that had been welling up inside of her came gushing forth like a tidal wave rushing towards the shoreline, and she struggled to hold back the tears. Something about Heartsong, about spending time with Ryan, made her feel as though anything was possible and that nothing would harm her here, or with him. She didn’t want that feeling to disappear.

  She closed the timber door behind her, rested her back against it and ran her fingers over her still tingling lips. She sucked in a shaky breath, and blew it out slowly. His kiss had been even more beautiful than she had expected, and she could only imagine what he could do to her in the throes of passion, how she would feel being loved by him. A jolt shot through her nether regions, and her heart, with the thought. She mentally slapped herself for even going there. With a heavy sigh, she made her way down the hallway. All she wanted to do was clean her teeth and then climb under the doona so she could wake up tomorrow and pretend none of this had ever happened.

  CHAPTER

  12

  Matilda made her way to the kitchen. With the temperature of the cottage still cool she tugged her robe tighter around her, while making sure to be quiet. It was only five-thirty in the morning but she had given up on the notion of sleeping, even though she felt exhausted. After tossing and turning all night she was in desperate need of caffeine if she was going to have any chance of making it through the day. From what she had heard of Ryan’s footsteps up and down the hallway countless times, he’d had the same sort of night. Although, she hadn’t heard anything for the past hour so maybe he’d drifted off, finally.

  Stepping into the kitchen her eyes were drawn to the picturesque scene out the large window above the sink. Dawn was breaking over the horizon, the thread of gold washing away the deep cobalt of night and scattering pretty pink hues across the sky. Used to being up before dawn when she was the camp cook—feeding the mustering crew a full cooked breakfast of bacon, sausages, eggs, baked beans, tomato and toast before they rode off for a day’s work—Matilda loved this time of the day. It was quiet and peaceful, and gave her time to get her thoughts together. Everything felt new and fresh and full of possibilities, and there was usually no one else around to take that feeling away from her. Troy never rose until his breakfast was on the table. Hell would have frozen over if he had ever made an effort to help her. Not that she had minded, it had given her a small reprieve from his constant criticism over the four years they were together.

  Taking a few moments to breathe in the magnificent country scene of horses silhouetted against the glowing sky, she decided to leave the overhead light off and make her tea in the rising sun’s glow so she could continue to enjoy the gloriousness of it all. Flicking the gas on she filled the kettle and plonked it down, then waited. She noticed that the kitchen had been cleaned up after their dinner beneath the stars. She had planned to clean it up this morning but Ryan had beaten her to it. The only remnants were the two empty bottles of wine on the sink, beside upturned clean glasses. What a man, taking it upon himself to tidy up so she didn’t have to. It was satisfying to feel the bubble of happiness within her, even though there were also pressing issues weighing her down. Ryan seemed to have that effect on her, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. Why should she? It was nice to finally be around another human being who made her feel worthy of happiness.

  A few minutes later, and with steaming cuppa in hand, she tiptoed out of the kitchen. She’d call Huckleberry from his rug in the lounge room and sit outside and watch the sun come up. But he was nowhere to be seen. Her heart jolted in panic. Had he got out somehow during the night? Like a mother with a missing child she began to worry about all the things that could happen to her canine mate, forgetting that he had been homeless less than a week ago and very capable of taking care of himself.

  Hurriedly making her way to the front door she noticed it was ajar. Strange. Her panic picked up a few notches and she swung it open and stepped outside. It only took a moment to spot the two motionless shapes in the hammock, one a man and the other a dog. Her panic vanished, to be replaced by a swelling heart as she quietly padded towards them. Ryan was in boxers and a singlet, his bare feet slung over the side of the hammock to accommodate Huckleberry, who was rolled up in a cosy ball. As if sensing her near him, Ryan moved ever so slightly. She halted mid-step, her breath held, not wanting to wake him after his restless night. Huckleberry was snoring softly, so she had no worries about him leaping towards her in excitement.

  With Ryan still again, she continued towards them, stopping just short of the hammock. Her free hand fluttered to her cantering heart. Ryan Hunter was so damn gorgeous in so many ways; she felt overwhelmed. He looked even more handsome asleep; the worry lines that quite often creased his forehead were nowhere to be seen and his full firm lips were almost smiling as if he were having a pleasant dream. She had a strong urge to lean in and kiss them again, to rest her cheek against his and to place her hand against his chest so she could feel his heart beating. She stifled a gasp at the very thought. After last night she knew all too well where desires like that could lead. Huckleberry stirred and lifted his head, his tail thumping instantly at the sight of her. She put her finger to her lips to try to shush him, but he barked a short sharp hello.

  Ryan jumped awake, his eyes flashing open.

  Matilda noticed his fists clench as if ready to defend himself. She knew that feeling all too well, but wondered what made him feel on edge. There was something very dark in his past, something that kept him awake at night. She reached out and grabbed his arm to steady him. ‘It’s only me. I’m so sorry to wake you. I didn’t know you were out here.’

  His scowl faded as he looked towards her and smiled so warmly, so tenderly, she almost buckled at the knees. ‘Hey there, Tilly, how’s things?’ He rubbed his face and then messed his hair up even more than it already was.

  ‘Things are good. I didn’t sleep much, but no problem. I rarely sleep all the way through the night. You?’

  ‘Yeah, I had a bad night’s sleep too. I came out here to watch the sun come up but I reckon I flaked it once I got comfy.’ He looked down at Huckleberry. ‘That goes for you too, buddy. You crashed before I did. Talk about snoring for all of Australia. I almost went and got some earplugs out of my work bag.’

  Matilda laughed as she plonked down on the top step. ‘Yeah, that’s why he’s out in the lounge room instead of my bedroom.
I can’t stand snoring while I’m trying to sleep.’

  Ryan sat up. ‘Can’t say I blame you. Pippa snored like a trooper and it used to drive me insane.’ He stretched his arms high and yawned. ‘Looks like it’s going to be another ripper of a day.’

  A weird sensation filled Matilda’s stomach with the mention of Pippa and the reminder that she used to sleep beside Ryan. Was it a hint of jealousy? Trying to ignore it, she followed Ryan’s gaze, the sky now aglow and the land and horses bathed in sunlight as the radiant golden orb rose in the cloudless azure sky. ‘It sure does.’

  Huckleberry leapt off the hammock and made his usual toilet dash down the front steps, stopping momentarily for a loving pat from Matilda. ‘So what are you up to today, Ryan?’

  ‘I might head over to the farm and help Dad and Jake for a little while. Keep Dad from getting all hot under the collar, he doesn’t understand that I work non-stop when I’m driving the truck and need some time out when I’m home. After that I plan to do as little as possible. I want to have a bit of a rest this arvo so I can enjoy a night out. I haven’t had a few beers with Jake and the boys at the pub for ages. Apparently there’s a really good band playing from eight till midnight.’

  ‘Is there? I love live music. What sort of band are they?’

  ‘My mate Ben reckons they’re a bit like the John Butler Trio.’

  ‘Seriously? I love them!’

  Ryan chuckled, deep and husky. ‘Does that mean you’re going to come along?’

  She wanted to, but was a little nervous about being in a roomful of people she didn’t know. Also, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to meet her potential new boss yet. She’d had her mind set on the interview being on Monday morning; never having been to an interview before, she was building herself up to it. Not that she would tell Ryan this. ‘Hmmm, I’m still not sure yet.’

  ‘Well, I hope you do. I reckon it’d do you good to let your hair down and have a bit of fun.’