by Mandy Magro
Ryan sat and passed Tilly her drink. ‘Will do.’
‘Goodo.’ He turned to Matilda. ‘I’ll see you on Monday. Come in a little earlier, if you like, so we can get your uniform sorted and I can introduce you to a few of our key staff around the place.’
‘I’ll be here with bells on.’ It was something her mother always said.
Greg nodded, a strange smile on his lips as he shook his finger at her. ‘You know what, I love that saying. Always have.’ He gave them both a wave and headed back to the kitchen.
CHAPTER
17
The popular folk-style band was pumping out brilliant tunes, worthy of some funky jives on the dance floor, and that’s exactly what most of the people at the pub were doing, some better at staying upright than others. A few stragglers were still holding up the bar, and pairs of lovebirds sat around the darkened corners canoodling as if behind closed doors. It was nearly twelve-thirty, and with only half an hour left before closing time, the ones who had made the distance were enjoying the night in whatever way floated their boat.
But not Ryan. After stealthily avoiding Pippa, she now had him cornered at the bar, just when he was about to pluck up the courage to join Matilda and his mates out on the dance floor.
While watching Matilda boogying beneath the mirror ball with Jake and Ben, the three of them having a wow of a time, Ryan made sure to keep a comfortable distance between himself and Pippa by stretching his legs out on the barstool. The way Tilly was dancing, with her beautiful hips sashaying in time to the music and her long hair floating around her pretty face, he couldn’t help but fantasise about her swaying like that on top of him—naked and with him deep inside her. It made his manly regions twinge as a hungry neediness flooded him. He looked down at his ninth beer for the night, making a mental note to stop after this one—they would certainly be catching a cab home—but he needed some sort of self-control when he and Tilly got back to Heartsong.
To stop himself thinking such stupid thoughts, he turned his attention to the blokes dancing with her. There was Jake, doing his customary chicken-style dance, legs and arms going everywhere with no method in the madness, and then there was Ben, who had two left feet and moved like he was a go-go dancer. The sight made him chuckle beneath his breath. He could hear Pippa saying something about wanting to call him this morning, but his attention was getting pulled in three different directions. Besides finding himself drawn to Matilda like a horse to water, he was anxious about what Greg was going to say to him tomorrow. Jim had obviously told him about Tilly and he was worried Greg was going to say he didn’t want Tilly to know he’s her father. Where would that leave him? By not saying anything, he would be deceiving Tilly about something that could change her life. But on the other hand, if he did tell her, he would be going against what Greg had asked him to do. He couldn’t forget the fact that Greg had been there for him through thick and thin, especially this past year. He heaved a massive sigh as he thought about adding that problem to everything else he was balancing on his shoulders. It sucked. Big time.
‘Earth to Ryan.’ Pippa waved her hands in his face. ‘Are you even listening to me?’
Ryan shook his head as though he’d just been slapped. ‘Sorry, Pippa, what do you need to tell me that couldn’t have waited, at least until tomorrow?’
‘There’s no way to say it gently so I’ll come right out with it.’ Pippa stalled by taking a sip from what looked like lemonade and then smiled softly. ‘I’m pregnant, Ryan.’
Ryan felt as though someone had smacked him over the back of the head. He grabbed hold of the bar to stop himself falling off the barstool. ‘What? How? When?’
She grinned. ‘I don’t think I need to tell you how I’m pregnant, Ryan, but as for the when, I only found out this morning.’
He could feel the blood pumping behind his temples. ‘Are you absolutely one hundred and ten percent sure?’
‘Yes, I haven’t been to the doctor yet, but I did do three pee tests at home this morning and they all showed positive.’
‘So, hang on a minute …’ He closed his eyes and shook his head before looking back at her. ‘Are you saying it’s mine?’
Disappointment flashed in Pippa’s blue eyes. ‘Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.’
‘What about Kevin?’
She looked gobsmacked. ‘What about him?’
Speechless, Ryan just stared at her, his mind in a spin. He finally spat out the words on the tip of his tongue. ‘Well don’t you think there’s a big possibility he could be the father?’
‘Nope.’
‘Why?’
She shrugged. ‘I just don’t think he is.’
‘You just don’t think he is?’ Ryan knew he was repeating her words, but he found them ludicrous. ‘Have you at least told him?’ He looked around to see if he could spot Kevin, but he was nowhere to be seen.
‘No, and I’m not going to.’ She picked at something underneath her fingernail. ‘And just so you understand, I don’t want anyone to know until we have worked our stuff out first.’
‘What do you mean by worked out our stuff?’
She looked at him like he was an idiot. ‘We have a lot of water under the bridge, Ryan, and that’s not a good thing when there’s a child to think about now, is it?’
This time Ryan really was speechless. He took a swig from his beer and then another, silently cursing when the last drop of it hit his tongue. Maybe he might need that next beer after all.
‘Why aren’t you smiling?’ Pippa’s bottom lip quivered. ‘You’ve always wanted children so I thought you’d be a little bit happy about this.’
‘Happy? Are you out of your mind, Pippa? You cheated on me, with my cousin for Christ’s sake, and now you want me to forget all about that and be happy you’re pregnant to me? On top of that, you don’t want me to tell anyone until we work our past out so we can look to the future, together, really?’
‘Yes, that’s what I was hoping for.’ Her eyes watered. ‘I know you still have feelings for me, Ryan, so stop fighting them. If you can find it in yourself to let go of all the anger and finally forgive me for making the biggest mistake of my life, we can make this work, I just know it.’
‘You seem to just know a lot tonight, Pippa.’ He bit his tongue before he said any more, not wanting to get too nasty. As much as Pippa had wronged him, she was a woman, and he’d been taught to respect women no matter what. Maybe if Matilda hadn’t come along and shown him what it felt like to be around someone you actually clicked with on a deep level, he might have caved. But he held his ground. ‘I’m sorry to burst your bubble, Pippa, but I can’t go back to how we were before you did the dirty on me. I deserve better.’
‘Yes, you do deserve way better, but please, let me show you how much better I can be. You and I are meant to be together, Ryan, and this is fate’s way of telling us.’ Pippa reached out to touch him but he yanked his arm away. She flinched as if he’d struck her.
‘How do you know it’s mine and not Kevin’s?’
She rested her hand on her belly, as if for effect. Something about the way she did it made Ryan’s blood boil.
‘Just because I know it’s yours.’
Ryan stood, slammed his hand down on the bar and then leant in so nobody else could hear him. ‘That’s not good enough, Pippa. I need to know it’s mine for sure. Isn’t there some paternity test we can get done?’
Pippa leapt from her seat, her face contorted in anger. ‘I don’t know, Ryan, because I didn’t think we’d need to have one done. I thought you were man enough to accept what I was telling you, and finally let go of what I did wrong. I have apologised a million times, by the way.’ She shook her head as though bitterly disappointed in him. ‘How can you turn your back on your child like this? I thought you were better than that.’
She had said it loud enough for Greg, who’d been pouring a beer on the opposite side of the bar, to give Ryan a look that let him know he’d overheard everything. Rya
n gritted his teeth, his emotions bubbling and boiling. ‘I am not turning my back on this child, Pippa. I’m simply asking for a test to be done to confirm it’s mine. Then of course I will step up to the plate as a father, if it turns out I am, and help you in whatever way I can.’
Pippa burst into tears, attracting unwanted attention from people around them. ‘You’re so bloody harsh, Ryan. Just forget I ever told you and get on with your perfect little life with your new girlfriend. I can do this on my own.’
Ryan instantly felt bad. He hated seeing women cry, no matter what they’d done to him. He reached out and took her into his arms. ‘I’m sorry. It’s shocked me, that’s all. And for the record, Tilly isn’t my girlfriend, she’s just staying with me for a little while, until she finds her feet here.’
‘That makes me so happy to hear.’ Pippa glanced up at him. ‘I promise I will look into getting a paternity test done, if it makes you feel better.’
‘I’d appreciate that, thanks.’
Pippa nodded and then nestled closer into him, her tears drying up. ‘I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the arse, but I do love you with all my heart.’
Ryan couldn’t reciprocate that, but he did still care for her. How could he not after all their years together? ‘I know you do. Somehow, we will work this out. I promise.’
After enjoying a couple of shooters at the bar with Jake, Ben and Ryan, the rest of the night had become a bit of a blur for Matilda—in a good way. As the saying goes, time flies when you’re having fun and she was having an absolute ball. With the alcohol dissolving her nerves, she had made it onto the dance floor and twirled, bopped and boogied for what felt like hours.
Although she was having the time of her life on the dance floor, she longed for Ryan to come out and join her. She had tried a few times to pull him out, but he had dug his boots into the carpeted floor and, with a sexy grin, had told her he didn’t dance in public. Damn—it would have been a great excuse for her to get close to him. Whenever she had found herself back at the table to cool down—a good excuse to hang out with Ryan and whoever he was chatting to—a drink had been pushed in her direction and her legs were now paying for it. She’d had her fill, and was now choosing water over vodka.
With the lively song coming to an end and the tempo changing, she quickly made her exit before Jake or one of his mates grabbed her for a slow dance. Moving across the dance floor she chuckled when she spotted Ben with the woman he’d been eyeing off all night now wrapped in his arms—his charm had worked. In need of the loo she weaved her way through the crowd, quickly avoiding walking straight into Ryan and Pippa as she dodged behind a group of rowdy blokes at the bar. Shock rendered her motionless. She blinked, then rubbed her eyes, hoping, praying she wasn’t seeing correctly and that the alcohol was playing horrible tricks on her. But nope, she wasn’t imagining it. As much as she didn’t want it to, it was making everything crystal clear.
With reality crashing down upon her, her heart slammed into her ribcage at the sight of Pippa wrapped in Ryan’s big strong beautifully protective arms. The very arms that had so deeply comforted her earlier today, and made her start to believe that anything was possible between them. Then, to make matters worse, a teary Pippa reached up on her tiptoes and placed a lingering kiss on Ryan’s cheek. Ryan made no move to avoid it. So much for him not wanting to ever get back with her.
Matilda suddenly felt very stupid for believing there might have been more to Ryan’s kindness towards her. How desperate was she to think he might have genuine feelings for her? She was obviously just a rebound for him, something to try to divert himself from Pippa. Maybe she needed to start thinking about him the same way too. If he could comfort a woman who had done him wrong, then how could Matilda think she was something special? What a fool she had been, harbouring the notion they might have a future if given a chance. Here she was actually considering kissing him before the night’s end, and had even been hoping it might lead to more. That fantasy was well and truly over now he’d proven himself to be the same as every other bloke she’d ever met—a man who tells you what you want to hear just so he can get you in the sack. She longed to be anywhere but here, witnessing a man who had stolen a piece of her heart, holding in his arms a woman who’d broken his.
Squeezing back tears she bolted, oblivious to the man who had been sitting in a darkened corner of the pub, shrewdly watching her for the past hour. As she vanished into the women’s toilets, he pulled his cap down a little further, rubbed his fake beard, finished his drink and then walked outside.
CHAPTER
18
The bright sunlight that crept through the parted curtains was a sight that had fetched a smile to Matilda’s lips the past couple of days, but this morning it brought nothing but dread … and not because she had a massive hangover. It meant she would have to get up and face reality when all she wanted to do was pretend what she had witnessed last night had been a figment of her imagination. Her heart squeezed as though it were within a clenched fist and she choked back a sob. Why, whenever there was a possibility of having some happiness in life, something always stole it away from her? It was as if she were cursed.
Rolling on her side, Matilda hugged the pillow. Burying her head in it to muffle the sounds of her cries, she allowed her emotions to bubble to the surface before she had to face Ryan. She didn’t want him to know how much she felt for him. She had almost told him last night after downing the first few shooters, but then Ben had skidded in beside them and the moment was gone. Thank God for small mercies.
With her head pounding like there was a jackhammer at work in there, she was in desperate need of painkillers, which were in the damn kitchen. A glass of water wouldn’t go astray either. She tried to hear if anyone was up, but there was silence. Was this a good or bad sign? Did it mean they were cuddled up in each other’s arms, making the most of a lazy Sunday sleep in? Should she make a run for it? But what if she ran into her? Stuff that—she didn’t have the energy. Groaning, she pulled the doona up and over her head, the feeling of being cocooned somewhat comforting her.
Luckily there had been a taxi waiting when she had finally emerged from the toilets and made her speedy escape from the pub, because all she could think about was getting away from Ryan and Pippa. She had hidden in the toilets while she had wept and then tried to compose herself. By the time she’d found the courage to march back past them—Ryan not even noticing her as he was so engrossed in Pippa—Jake had gone outside to look for her, and they had caught the taxi together. At least he gave a damn about her. While trying to contain her emotions she had asked Jake to text Ryan to let him know she was on her way home.
‘Okay, thanks bro,’ had been Ryan’s short, and definitely not sweet, reply. Matilda had thought it a cold response from someone she’d now decided was a cold-hearted individual.
Rubbing her temples she thought back to the heartbreaking sounds of Ryan arriving home an hour after her—tyres on gravel as a car approached, headlights briefly flashing into her bedroom. She’d stupidly thought it was a taxi and still feeling a little drunk she’d actually considered going out to talk to Ryan about Pippa. Then the engine cut off and she heard the slamming of not one door but two, followed by heavy footfalls and the clip clop of heeled shoes across the verandah. Ryan had brought Pippa home.
Muffled voices followed by giggling down the hallway warned her that Ryan was taking Pippa to his bedroom. That was the very moment her heart and soul had ached beyond belief, and she had pushed Ryan Hunter into the same box as every other cock-controlled man she had ever met. How he had fooled her into believing he was one of the good ones was beyond her. She started to wonder what else he’d lied about. Probably everything.
With her oxygen supply running low under the doona, she flicked it back. She couldn’t hide in her room all day. She was busting to go to the toilet, and dying for a nice long hot shower and some breakfast, and that’s exactly what she was going to do. She would get up, down some ibuprofen, hol
d her head up high and pretend that Pippa being there meant nothing, no matter how hard that would be. So, throwing her legs over the side of the tousled bed, she took a few moments as a wave of hangover dizziness washed over her, before standing up and grabbing her robe from the back of the door.
After having two tablets washed down with a big glass of water, Matilda decided to shower before eating. Tiptoeing back down the hallway, past Ryan’s closed bedroom door and towards the bathroom, a knock at the front door brought her to a standstill. Should she ignore it? What if it were important? She really wanted to avoid drawing Ryan, or God forbid, Pippa, from the bedroom to answer the door. She went to answer it, glad she did when she was met with Samara’s beautiful bright green eyes.
‘Morning, sweetheart.’ She pushed the screen door open and noticed a pushbike on the front lawn. Samara must have ridden over. ‘Come on in.’
‘I came over to see Huckleberry while Nanna catches up with some office work.’ Samara looked hesitant to step inside. ‘Did I wake you?’
‘No, not at all, Samara. I’ve been awake for ages. I was just off to have a shower before I make myself some brekkie.’
Samara turned to look at the pink VW Beetle parked in the driveway. ‘Is Pippa here?’
Matilda stared out the door, trying her hardest not to look upset. The sticker on the back window that read Princess on Board made her groan inwardly. The woman was so clichéd. ‘Apparently so.’
‘I didn’t think I’d see her around here again.’ Taking her thongs off, Samara stepped inside. ‘I’m sorry to say this, but Uncle Ryan’s an idiot.’
Matilda stifled a smile. ‘I’m afraid to say most men are.’
‘Yes, I’m already learning that at school. Boys are just so annoying.’ Samara folded her arms. ‘Why would Uncle Ryan even think about going back with Pippa when he has the most amazing woman living under the same roof as him already?’
Matilda found herself at a complete loss for words.