Alice-Miranda Shows the Way

by Jacqueline Harvey

  ‘He’s in the stables down near the arena,’ Alice-Miranda replied.

  ‘I’d like to pop down and say hello, if I may?’ Queen Georgiana asked.

  Alice-Miranda took her by the hand. ‘Of course, Aunty Gee. Bony would love to see you.’

  ‘And Chops would love to say hello too,’ Millie added. The Queen slipped her other hand into Millie’s and together the trio began to walk off.

  ‘But Your Majesty, we have tea, in the pavilion,’ Myrtle Parker called out. ‘And there are people waiting to meet you. It’s . . . it’s on your schedule.’

  Her Majesty turned her head. ‘It’s all right, Mrs Parker, don’t get angsty, dear. I’ll be back soon. I’m afraid Bonaparte has performed something of a miracle and I want to thank him. It’s because of him that I have a runner in the Cup tomorrow and one who has a jolly good chance of winning the darn thing. I shan’t be long.’

  Myrtle Parker let out a noise to rival Bonaparte’s best whinny. The crowd drew a collective gasp as Myrtle huffed and blew and stormed back inside, shouting at anyone who dared get in her way.

  ‘That Mrs Parker’s rather highly strung, isn’t she?’ Aunty Gee commented on the way to the stables.

  ‘You mean Nosey Parker,’ Millie said.

  ‘Millie, that’s unkind,’ said Alice-Miranda.

  ‘Perhaps, but never a truer word was spoken,’ said Aunty Gee. She winked at Millie.

  Alice-Miranda changed the subject. ‘Are you coming to the ball tonight?’

  ‘I wouldn’t miss it, dear. It’s always a lot of fun. And I heard that your Miss Grimm has finally seen sense and is letting all of you girls attend too.’

  ‘Yes, but we have to be home by 10 pm, otherwise no one will have the energy for the races tomorrow,’ Alice-Miranda informed her.

  The group reached the stables.

  ‘Hello there Bonaparte,’ said Aunty Gee. She patted the pony’s nose and blew softly into his nostrils.

  Bonaparte bared his teeth.

  ‘I see you are just as ill-mannered as my Rockstar. It’s no wonder you get on so well,’ Aunty Gee observed.

  Alice-Miranda clucked her tongue at the naughty pony. ‘Bonaparte Napoleon Highton-Smith-Kennington-Jones, behave yourself. You are in the presence of the Queen.’

  Millie giggled.

  Bonaparte lifted his tail and expelled a volume of gas that might have run the school heating for a month.

  ‘You’re disgusting,’ said Alice-Miranda, cringing. ‘I’m so sorry, Aunty Gee. He’s not usually this badly behaved.’

  ‘Don’t apologise, dear. Rockstar’s twice as bad. I’ve never known a horse to fart as much as he does.’

  Millie roared with laughter. She didn’t know what was funnier – the image of Rockstar and his wind or the fact that the Queen had just said the word ‘fart’. When finally her sides stopped heaving she asked Aunty Gee if she’d like to meet Chops, and assured her that he would be much more respectful than his little friend.

  ‘My favourite part of the whole night was definitely Mr Plumpton and Miss Reedy doing that ancient Michael Jackson dance,’ Jacinta giggled. ‘They must have practised for ages.’

  ‘You mean “Thriller”,’ Millie said.

  ‘I suppose so. Mrs Howard said that she saw them rehearsing in the gym,’ Sloane said.

  ‘It was pretty cute,’ said Millie.

  ‘It was totally embarrassing,’ Sloane said with a grimace. ‘But it was worth it to see the look on Mrs Parker’s face. She was so annoyed about them stealing her limelight.’

  ‘I think they’re gorgeous and I can’t wait until they get married,’ Alice-Miranda piped up.

  ‘Married!’ Jacinta exclaimed. ‘Are you serious?’

  ‘Well, it’s obvious that they’re madly in love,’ Alice-Miranda said. ‘Perhaps they just need cupid to help things along.’

  ‘Oh no, what are you thinking now?’ Millie groaned.

  ‘Your mother seemed to be in good spirits,’ Sloane commented to Jacinta.

  Jacinta pulled a face. ‘Of course she was. Did you see all the attention she was getting from old Hairy Lipp? But at least she didn’t abandon me completely – we actually had quite a good talk in the end,’ Jacinta admitted.

  ‘Remember when Mr Lipp had a crush on Miss Reedy when we were doing the play with the Fayle boys?’ Millie said. ‘And that suit he was wearing last night. He must go to the same designer as Mrs Parker.’

  ‘Jacinta and Lucas looked pretty cosy,’ Sloane teased.

  ‘He’s so handsome,’ Jacinta sighed. ‘He’d better marry me – or else.’

  ‘Or else what?’ Sloane asked.

  ‘I don’t know. Isn’t that just what you say?’ Jacinta shrugged.

  ‘What about Aunty Gee? She was dancing up a storm with Professor Pluss and then even Charlie had a spin around the floor with her,’ Millie said.

  ‘She’s adorable – and very forgiving. I couldn’t believe what Bonaparte did to her this afternoon. He’s so naughty,’ said Alice-Miranda, blushing at the memory.

  Jacinta, Sloane and Millie began to giggle. When Millie had told them all about Bony the windy pony, the three of them had wound up rolling around on the floor holding their sides.

  ‘Oh no you don’t,’ came Mrs Howard’s voice behind the girls. She was patrolling the halls of Grimthorpe House and having a very difficult time convincing any of her charges to hurry and get ready for bed. ‘Come along, girls, its way past your bedtime and you have to be up early again tomorrow. I for one am dead on my feet.’

  ‘But it was really funny, Howie,’ Millie said, stifling a giggle. ‘You wait until I tell you tomorrow. I guarantee your sides will split.’

  ‘All right, you can tell me tomorrow. I need a good laugh after the two days I’ve had.’

  ‘Goodnight Howie,’ said Millie with a yawn as she pushed open her bedroom door.

  ‘Goodnight Mrs Howard.’ Alice-Miranda gave her a wave.

  Sloane and Jacinta did the same and the girls disappeared into their bedrooms.

  Alice-Miranda wondered what was going on out there in the world around her. She was thinking about Fern and Billy and Alf but her eyes were so heavy she could barely keep them open. She climbed into bed and said goodnight to Millie. For the first time in a long time, every girl in the house was sound asleep before the last light was out.

  ‘Alice-Miranda, wake up.’ Mrs Howard gently shook the child. Her eyelids fluttered open and she wondered if she was dreaming. ‘Miss Pepper needs to speak with you.’

  ‘Miss Pepper?’ Alice-Miranda rolled over and looked at the clock beside her bed. It was just after 7 am.

  ‘It must be important for her to be calling at this hour,’ said Mrs Howard as she passed Alice-Miranda her dressing-gown.

  The child jammed her feet into her slippers and tiptoed out of the room with Mrs Howard. When they reached the sitting room, Howie passed Alice-Miranda the telephone.

  ‘Hello Miss Pepper,’ the girl spoke into the handset. ‘What do you mean he’s gone?’ Alice-Miranda’s eyes were now wide open. ‘I’ll check the stables and call you straight back.’

  ‘Who’s gone, dear?’ Mrs Howard asked.

  ‘Bonaparte!’ Alice-Miranda replied. ‘Miss Pepper was allowed to go home from the hospital late yesterday afternoon. After the show Wally took Bonaparte back to Chesterfield Downs and Miss Pepper said that she checked on the horses herself last night. But this morning Bonaparte was gone.’

  ‘You know what a little fiend he is, dear. He’s probably just escaped and decided to come home.’ Mrs Howard placed her hand reassuringly on Alice-Miranda’s shoulder.

  ‘I hope so,’ said Alice-Miranda anxiously. ‘We have to find him. Rockstar won’t run a step without him at the track this afternoon. They’ve become
inseparable.’

  Alice-Miranda raced out the back door. In the velvety half-light of morning she could see the outline of several horses in the paddock beside the stables, but none of them looked like Bonaparte.

  She entered the building and was greeted by a soft nicker.

  ‘Is that you, Bonaparte?’ she called, a warm sense of relief flooding her. But as she got closer she realised that it wasn’t Bonaparte at all. It was Susannah’s pony, Buttercup. Alice-Miranda ran from stall to stall, hauling herself up to check each one, but Bonaparte was nowhere to be found.

  The door to the flat upstairs opened and Billy Boots emerged.

  ‘What are you doing up so early, miss? I’d have thought everyone would be having a sleep-in after last night,’ he asked as he bounded down the stairs.

  ‘Bonaparte’s gone,’ Alice-Miranda said.

  ‘But he never came home. Remember, Wally took him back to Chesterfield Downs.’ Billy frowned at her, wondering if she might be sleepwalking.

  ‘I mean he’s gone from Chesterfield Downs,’ Alice-Miranda said. ‘Miss Pepper telephoned just a little while ago. His stall door was open and he was gone.’

  Billy gulped. ‘Oh.’

  ‘You don’t think . . .’ Alice-Miranda began.

  ‘It’s not likely. It’s not his thing, livestock,’ said Billy.

  ‘Did you speak to Constable Derby yesterday?’ Alice-Miranda asked the lad.

  ‘Yes, he knows what’s going on,’ Billy said grimly.

  She was thinking about Bonaparte and wondering where on earth he could possibly be.

  ‘I need to phone Miss Pepper and let her know that Bony’s not here,’ Alice-Miranda said. She remembered there was an ancient wall phone in the tack room and immediately went to make the call.

  Evelyn Pepper answered and told Alice-Miranda that she had sent all of her lads off in different directions to check that Bonaparte hadn’t decided to take a wander around the farm.

  ‘What are you going to do?’ Billy asked Alice-Miranda when she hung up the telephone.

  ‘I’ll get Millie, and we’ll go out on Chops and Stumps to look for the little monster. I know he’s clever but I didn’t imagine he could open the bolt on his own and escape. That pony!’ She shook her head. ‘What about you?’

  ‘I’m going down to the station. Constable Derby should start getting some phone calls this morning. I guess we’ll just have to wait until Fern gives us the sign and then Constable Derby can make his move,’ Billy explained.

  ‘Well, be careful,’ the girl said seriously. ‘That Alf’s a brute. It sounds like he could be dangerous.’

  ‘I can handle Alf,’ said Billy. ‘He’s not dangerous; he’s just a boofhead who thought he could make some extra cash on the side. He didn’t expect me to ever stand up to him. We’ve just got to get the timing right. I can get Chops and old Stumpy ready for you. But you might want to put some proper clothes on.’

  Alice-Miranda realised she was still in her gown and slippers. ‘Thanks, I’ll go and get Millie.’ She scurried off to wake her friend.

  Alice-Miranda and Millie had covered miles of ground in their search for Bonaparte. He wasn’t anywhere in the school and they’d been down every street and lane in the village too.

  ‘You know, someone might have stolen Bony,’ said Millie.

  ‘I’m sure that’s not the case,’ Alice-Miranda replied.

  ‘I suppose there aren’t too many people who could steal the little monster – he’s so mean, most thieves wouldn’t be able to handle him at all,’ Millie began and then, as if a light globe had come on in her head, she gasped. ‘Ah! I bet it was Mr Boots. Bony really likes him and, come to think of it, so does Rockstar. I bet that’s his plan – that why he’s always saying weird things.’ Millie decided. ‘He’s probably going to steal Rockstar too.’

  Alice-Miranda shook her head. ‘Mr Boots didn’t steal Bonaparte.’

  ‘How can you be so sure? You know I’ve had a strange feeling about him ever since he arrived,’ Millie said.

  ‘It wasn’t him,’ Alice-Miranda replied firmly.

  ‘Well, I think we should tell Constable Derby,’ said Millie.

  ‘No, Millie, he didn’t take Bony. I’m sure that no one has taken him. He just got out, that’s all.’

  But Millie wasn’t convinced.

  As the girls neared the showground, they saw Constable Derby’s police car driving slowly through the carnival rides.

  ‘I wonder what he’s doing here,’ Millie said. ‘Let’s tell him about Mr Boots.’

  ‘No, Millie, there’s nothing to tell. Please trust me,’ said Alice-Miranda.

  An uncomfortable silence had draped itself over the showground like an unwelcome fog at a summer picnic.

  The car approached them slowly. The constable put the window down and greeted the pair. ‘Good morning, girls.’

  ‘Good morning,’ Millie and Alice-Miranda chorused.

  ‘What brings you out so early this morning?’ he asked. He glanced at his watch. It was just past 9.30 am. He’d been up since 5 am himself and hadn’t realised where the hours had gone.

  ‘Bonaparte’s missing,’ said Millie.

  ‘Missing?’ the constable quizzed. ‘Where was he last night?’

  ‘Chesterfield Downs,’ Alice-Miranda replied. ‘I think he must have escaped.’

  ‘Really?’ The constable sounded cagey.

  ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t have been stolen.’ Alice-Miranda raised her eyebrows at the officer.

  Constable Derby twitched.

  Millie glanced at Alice-Miranda, wondering why she’d even mentioned the words, given she was so firm a moment ago about Bonaparte having got out.

  In the distance the girls could see Mrs Parker’s small hatchback approaching. She was driving all over the road and probably quite a bit faster than she should have been. The car was swallowed by a cloud of dust as she roared up beside the police car and planted her foot on the brakes.

  ‘Constable Derby, Constable Derby,’ the woman called. She was near hysterical.

  Chops skittered to the left and bumped into Stumps, who whinnied loudly in protest.

  ‘Calm down, Mrs Parker,’ said the young constable. He left his vehicle and walked towards her.

  ‘Constable Derby, I’ve been calling the station since seven o’clock this morning and finally your wife answered the telephone only to tell me that you were out. That’s not good enough, young man. I have an emergency.’ Myrtle was flapping like a hen in a dirt bath.

  ‘Mrs Parker, I am out on official police business,’ the constable replied.

  ‘I don’t care if you’re out on official royal business, I need to speak with you most urgently,’ the old woman insisted.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked.

  ‘It’s Newton, he’s gone again,’ she sniffed.

  ‘Newton?’ The constable’s brow furrowed as he struggled to recall why the name was familiar.

  ‘My gnome. He only just came back to me and now the little beggar has disappeared. He was inside the house, too. They’ve been inside my house!’ The woman started to cry and it wasn’t long before the sniffle became a wail.

  ‘Is anything else missing?’ The constable handed Mrs Parker his handkerchief. She blew into it like a trumpet, then offered it back to him. ‘It’s all right. You can keep it.’

  ‘I don’t know if there’s anything else. I just want Newton back,’ Mrs Parker sobbed.

  Millie was trying hard to smother a smile. She wondered if Newton had packed a bag and called a cab, or perhaps he’d just set off with his suitcase.

  ‘What’s the matter with you, Millicent? Do you think this is funny?’ Myrtle Parker gulped and sniffed and began to wail again.

  Alice-Miranda and Con
stable Derby exchanged quizzical looks. The police radio in Constable Derby’s car crackled.

  ‘Hello darling, it’s Louella, can you hear me? Over,’ came his wife’s voice.

  The constable grabbed for the microphone and pressed the button on the side.

  ‘Yes, Mrs Derby, is there something I can help you with? Over,’ he answered.

  ‘Oh, you’ve got someone with you. I’m sorry but you need to get back to the station as soon as possible. I’m afraid there are quite a lot of people who want to talk to you. Over.’

  ‘I’ll be there soon. Do you want to take down some details for me? Over,’ said the constable.

  ‘I can try but there’s a crowd. Over,’ Louella Derby replied. It seemed that almost everyone in the village had gathered at the police station. ‘And Mr Boots is here. He said that he needs to speak with you most urgently about a barn on the edge of Chesterfield Downs. Over.’

  On hearing ‘Mr Boots’, Millie’s eyes had bulged. She opened her mouth to tell Constable Derby her suspicions but Alice-Miranda shook her head and mouthed ‘no!’.

  ‘Tell Mr Boots to sit tight and I’ll be there in three minutes. Over.’ Constable Derby jammed the radio handset back in its holder and jumped into the car. ‘Mrs Parker, if you’d like to come to the station later, I’ll take down the details,’ he called as he turned the key in the ignition and sped off, leaving a trail of dust in his wake.

  A barn on the edge of Chesterfield Downs. Alice-Miranda wondered if she and Millie should go there too.

  ‘Isn’t that Tarquin?’ Millie was pointing towards the caravans.

  Alice-Miranda nodded. ‘Tarquin,’ she shouted and gave Stumps a jab in the ribs. The pony sprang to life and cantered towards the lad. ‘Where’s Fern?’

  ‘Fern’s doing special jobs for Alf,’ he said, fiddling with his collection of badges.

  Millie gave Chops a kick and cantered over to join her friend.

  ‘Millicent, you come back here,’ said Myrtle Parker as she attempted to follow her. ‘You owe me an apology, young lady.’

  ‘Let’s go, Alice-Miranda,’ Millie sighed. ‘I’m not apologising to Mrs Parker. I think she’s gone crazy.’