Stop That Wedding

by Melissa Klein

  Andrew slung the dish rag over his shoulder and turned to face her. “I thought you said we didn’t have cell service.”

  “It’s spotty.” She turned the phone around to show him the screen. “Certainly not enough to rely on in an emergency. I can’t get my reply to go through.”

  “How is that something you can be proactive about?”

  “Most of this area’s pretty flat, but there’s a high point about a quarter mile from here. I’m hoping that will be enough for me to get a good signal.”

  Andrew wiped out the cast iron skillet and put it back on the cook stove. “Would you like me to go with you?”

  Images of playing house with him were hard enough to resist. Alone with Andrew in the woods…? Adam and Eve fantasies began playing in her imagination. “No offense, but there isn’t much of a trail…”

  “Say no more.” He looked around the room. “Do you have something to drink, bug spray, compass?”

  She held up a small backpack. “I’ve got everything I need right here.”

  He grabbed a box of power bars from off the counter. “Shouldn’t you have a snack?”

  “I won’t be gone that long.” Diana stepped out to the dog trot.

  “Bear repellant?” he asked, following right behind.

  She pointed to the pistol on her hip. “Right here. Although I’m hoping to avoid any encounters with Mrs. Yogi Bear or snakes for that matter.”

  He caught her hand as she was about to step off the porch. “How long do you think you’ll be gone?” That pensive look she’d seen on Andrew’s face last night returned. Only now, it made her want to smooth away his concern—with a kiss, or two, or a dozen. “I could be gone quite a while.” At least until she had her hormones better under control.

  At a bend in the trail, Diana chanced a look behind her. Yep. Andrew still stood in the middle of the path, reminding her of a beagle left from the hunt. Guilt needled her so bad she almost called for him to catch up. But that defeated half the reasons for her trekking up to the top of DeFrain’s Hill in the first place.

  Considering him simply a partner in preventing catastrophe was proving harder by the second, especially with certain urges muscling in on her good sense. As much as she’d have rather spent time making improvements around the hunters’ cabin, hanging around a place with so much privacy sounded like regret waiting for a place to happen. “I need another playboy in my life like a pig needs a sidesaddle.”

  Low hanging limbs and patches of briars slowed her progress, as did the need for constant vigilance for snakes. She shuttered all over at the thought of the stealthy critters. Before every step, Diana scanned the undergrowth for copperheads and tuned her ears for the telltale rustle of a large mammal. Bears nudged snakes out of the top spot of critters to avoid.

  Cresting the rise, Diana’s phone sprang to life. “Jeez, Louise.” She jumped out of her skin at a series of pings pierced the quiet. Feeling justified for making the hike up the hill, she slid her finger across the screen and read the messages, beginning with the ones from Lucy, the store manager in Hattiesburg.

  Cleanup crew arrived

  Damage to stock minimal

  Serve-Pro company arrived

  All done. I’m locking up

  “So much for finding an excuse to stay up here. Darn your efficiency.” Next, she checked the other messages, finding one from Jasmine.

  Back among the living. So sorry for letting you down. I heard what your mother did. All my fault so I’ll resign.

  Her fingers couldn’t bring up the event planner’s number fast enough. When the call connected, she didn’t give Jasmine the chance to say hello. “Like heck you’re quitting on me.”

  Jasmine chuckled, still sounding weak from a bout with stomach flu. “Hello to you too. Are you back already?”

  “No, we’ll stay another night.”

  “How are the fancy men fairing?”

  After giving a nearby log a thorough examination, Diana sat down. “They’re fine, dagnabbit. That stiff upper lip is a real thing. I’ve done everything I can think of short of poison or letting them get lost in the woods.”

  “Maybe you should consider the latter. Otherwise…”

  An image of a tiara-wearing mama parading around the duke’s estate popped to mind. That wasn’t as bad as the duke’s cowboy imitation. Diana took a drink from her water bottle and pondered the possibility of having to resort to low tactics. She hated the idea of stooping to underhanded dealings. Granddaddy Dansfield raised her better, but her ox was in the ditch. “Andrew says that’s off limits. We can’t put his uncle in physical danger.”

  “Ahhh, so sweet. Looks and a good heart. Unlike Travis.” Jasmine derision carried across the connection.

  “Don’t remind me.” Diana’s former boyfriend’s attraction could be compared to a large chocolate layer cake. Yummy. Decadent. Ultimately bad for you.

  Jasmine had cued into the town’s newest attorney, despite his trappings of success. When he’d been caught doing Diana’s best friend in the backseat of her daddy’s pickup truck, Jasmine offered to arrange an accident for him. Diana had laughed off the offer but made a mental note not to do anything to anger the woman.

  “Oh, by the way,” Jasmine continued. “Megan’s knocked up. Showed up at Zumba class with her bump showing, just as proud as can be.”

  Suddenly, Diana regretted not giving Jasmine’s offer more consideration. “If she even thinks about asking us to do her a baby shower, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

  “I’ve got your back, boss. I’ll toss her skinny-jeans-wearing behind out before she can get up the front steps.”

  Between Mama’s shenanigans and coming down with a crush on Mr. Viscount, her life was one steaming pile of donkey dung. “Tell me something else. I need to get my mind off things.”

  “Where are you calling from? I thought there wasn’t any cell service at the cabin.”

  Diana adjusted her position on the log, settling in for one of their good conversations. “There isn’t. I climbed up DeFrain’s Hill to check on a situation with one of the stores. That’s all handled so now I can talk.”

  “Why aren’t you back at the cabin talking to Andrew?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Oooh, complicated is my favorite. Spill it.”

  She let out a breath. “He’s just so…” A loud rusting caught her attention. She paused. It grew closer. “Wait. I hear something.” Off to her left a wild-growing rhododendron shook. “Crap, Doc James said there was a bear around. I have to go.”

  “Call right back.” Her voice pitched higher. “This is why normal people don’t play in the woods.”

  The huffing and snuffling got louder. Diana withdrew her pistol from its holster and flicked off the safety. The last thing she wanted was to kill a mama bear, but she also didn’t want to end her days as bear poop.

  Her heart pounded. Feet itched to run. But, even a tenderfoot knew doing so would only incite the bear’s chase instinct. “Ya, bear. Go away. Scat.” Holstering the gun, she picked up a nearby limb and rattled it.

  The rustling grew nearer. She took cover behind a tree. “Bear be gone.”

  “Bear?” Andrew burst through the brush, looking behind him. “Where? I thought I got away from it.”

  “What?” She latched onto him. “You saw it? Where?” The closest she’d ever come to a bear was at the zoo. Realizing how near he’d come to getting mauled, she squeezed him hard.

  “Down by some blackberry bushes. She had two little cubs.”

  He’d been wandering in the woods on his own, the one tactic he’d firmly placed off-limits for use on his uncle. “That’s half a mile away. What were you doing over there?” Anger flared to life. “More to the point, what are you doing here? Did you think you needed to rescue me?” She shoved him away and wagged her finger in his face for good measure. “Let me tell you, I know my way around these woods as well as I do Greenville Mall.”

  Andrew folded h
is arms. “Are you finished?”

  “Yes.” The sudden burst of temper left her breathing hard.

  “I, I finished the chores, and Uncle and Jackie still weren’t back, and, well…” He toed the ground with his shoe. “I missed you.” He looked up, catching her gaze. “Alright, I said it, I missed you. I’d been having so much fun at the cabin, and once you left you took all the fun with you.”

  Diana’s insides melted like chocolate in cobbler, fresh from the oven. If Travis had ever said something like that, she’d have clawed Megan’s eyes out before she’d let her former best friend steal him away. “Why is it you don’t have a girlfriend?”

  “I don’t exactly meet the type of woman I’m expected to marry in my everyday life.”

  “You never have told me what you do to occupy your time.” His past had so many holes in it, it resembled chicken wire. Did she want to risk getting involved with a professional loafer when she needed Mr. Plan Ahead?

  “That’s not important now.” He stepped closer, taking her hands in his. “What is…important is…we need to make the most of our time here.”

  “How to you suggest we do that?” Her heart pounded, mouth went dry. Did a plan for the next half hour count?

  “By this.”

  Andrew tilted her chin and lowered his mouth to hers. The press of lips started gently, as if he might stop at any moment. He didn’t. Thank God. Instead, he threaded his fingers through her hair and deepened the kiss. In response, Diana twined her arms around his middle and brought him in close. The feel of firm muscles caught her by surprise, as did the scent of good, clean sweat and pine. He peppered kisses across her cheek and down her neck, and when he finally pulled away, he had to hold her steady.

  A smile turned up the corner of his mouth. “I’ve been thinking about doing that since last time.”

  “Me, too.” She rested her forehead against his chest. “That’s why I came out here.”

  “There aren’t any problems with the store?”

  “There were. I didn’t deceive you. I’m an honest person. Some say too honest, but I’m not above killing two birds with one stone.”

  Andrew tilted her chin. “I believe you.” He brushed a stray curl from her face before kissing her again.

  “Lord have mercy.” She could let him do that all day and twice on Sunday. She pushed out of his embrace. “Wait a minute. Just because your kisses make my eyes roll up in the back of my head doesn’t mean I’m following my mother’s example.”

  His expression fell. “Oh, I thought perhaps.”

  “Who am I kidding?” She let out a breath. “I’d like for you to do that again, all right.”

  “You would? But what about—?”

  “I’m going to quote a much-lauded southern literary character, ‘I’ll worry about that tomorrow.’”

  His dimple flashed when he smiled. “I can do that. I so can do that, too.”

  Hand-in-hand, they started down the hill toward the cabin. “We can follow my marks if you like.” He pointed to several trees standing yards apart.

  “You marked a path?” Diana stepped to the closest, examining a white mark scratched into the bark of a large oak. “What did you use?”

  “Chalk. It was either that or crumble your leftover biscuits, and those are too good to waste.”

  She followed the marks with her gaze as they zig-zagged across the woods. “Good strategy, but we’ll be out here all day if we follow your path.” She pointed to her trail of broken pine saplings. “If we go my way, it’s all downhill.”

  Andrew chuckled. “I hope that’s not a metaphor for your plans to stop the wedding.”

  She elbowed him. “I’ll have you know—”

  “Oww, I take it back.” He drew her in closer, wrapping her arm around him. “We’ve got tonight to come up with another plan. I’m feeling desperate in the face of their resistance to our tactics. After your mum and my uncle retire for the evening, we can have an emergency planning meeting.”

  “Doesn’t sound as much fun as last night’s pajama party.”

  “Speaking of sleepovers.” He wagged his eyebrows. “How do you feel about rearranging the furniture in the loft?”

  “I’m not averse to redecorating.”

  Andrew increased the pace. “Excellent.”

  If only their plans for preventing a catastrophic marriage could be worked out so easily. Diana devised and discarded half a dozen wedding-stopping plans while remaining vigilant for snakes and bears. It would be her luck to come this close to a little happy time with Mr. Viscount only to have something like a snake bite or a bear encounter get in the way.

  As they joined the trail leading to the lake, shouts caught her attention. “That’s my mama.” Staccato words punctured the air like a machine gun. “Lordy Jesus, she’s mad as heck about something.” Diana grabbed ahold of Andrew’s hand and took off running in the direction of the commotion. When they reached the open field where the couple was supposed to have picnicked, another voice joined Jackie’s.

  “That’s my uncle. He’s in pain.” Diana and Andrew raced in the direction of the caterwauling, finding the other couple hobbling around a bend in the trail, soaking wet, and arguing like two dogs with one bone.

  “Darn fool man.” Jackie held on to Neville by the waist, dragging him along. The bloom was well and truly off the romance as she continued her rapid-fire recriminations. “…the good sense God gave a goose.”

  Neville grumbled, favoring his right leg. “What did you expect me to do?”

  “Mama, what happened to y’all?”

  Jackie’s wrath wasn’t the duke’s only issue. Angry welts dotted his face and arms, and droplets of blood trickled from several deep scratches.

  “Smarty Pants here got himself tangled up in the blackberry bushes.” She foisted her fiancé onto Andrew, jerking her wet sundress back into place. “And his solution was to go off running into a yellow jacket nest.” Jackie locked arms with Diana and turned her back on the men.

  “And this delightful woman decided our best option for escape was to take a swim in the lake.”

  Jackie jerked around. “Got ’em off of you, didn’t I?” Then she resumed her march back to the cabin.

  “At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I’m not sure drowning was a preferable option. We could have outrun them.”

  “Who are you kidding? You couldn’t outrun an overfed, three-legged coon.”

  “Which we ran into, by the way,” Neville added.

  Diana turned around to tell Andrew it was a good thing they hadn’t encountered any of the traps that had likely relieved the raccoon of its leg. However, one look at the duke’s face and her words dried up.

  His lip quivered. “My boy, did you know this forest is full of strange creatures. It’s like rejects from Noah’s ark all congregated here.” His voice pitched high with emotion.

  “I don’t know about that, Uncle.” Andrew caught Diana’s gaze. “I’ve found the woods here to be quite enchanting.”

  Despite the circumstances, all Diana could do was grin back like a goof. “I’m glad I could broaden your horizons.” Thank heavens her mama was as self-absorbed as ever.

  Jackie jabbed a finger in Andrew’s direction. “See, even your fancy-pants nephew is smart enough to appreciate the good Lord’s creation. Unlike some men I know. And I use the term loosely.”

  “No, Mama. There’s no call to question the duke’s masculinity. That’s hitting below the belt.”

  Diana increased the pace, putting enough distance between Jackie and the duke to give the poor man relief on at least one front. Once the guys reached the cabin, she turned her attention to Neville’s injuries. The cuts required only a good cleaning, but the yellow jackets had done a number on him. “Let me get you inside, and I’ll put a compress on your stings.”

  Andrew nodded toward Jackie. “Perhaps a better idea would be for us to divide along family lines.”

  Jackie’s protruding bottom lip quivered a warning of an
impending tearful tirade. They were mere seconds away from a full-Jackie-Curtis meltdown. Diana’s natural inclination was to cut the tantrum off at the pass.

  She couldn’t afford to waste this golden opportunity, could she?

  She shot a questioning look to Andrew, hoping for insight on how to best to take advantage of the situation. Direct insults to Neville could send her contrary mother back into her lover’s arms. No one enjoyed praise more than Jackie.

  “You know, Mama, you did the right thing back there. That was quick thinking, even if it’s gone unappreciated. Now, let’s get you out of those wet clothes.” Continuing to lay it on with a trowel, she escorted a whimpering Jackie over to the other pen. “It’s right difficult when men don’t give us women the credit we deserve. Why, that man would most likely be dead of anaphylaxis shock if it weren’t for you. You saved his life.”

  “I did, didn’t I?” Jackie shucked out of her wet dress and pulled on a pair of sweats.

  “Why don’t you lie down for a while?” Diana pulled down the light-weight quilt and patted the bed. “A nap will do you good.”

  Once she had the covers pulled up to her mama’s chin, she stepped back. Andrew could manage first aid for his uncle but mixing up the witch hazel and baking soda was beyond his scope of experience.

  Jackie caught her hand. “Stay.” She patted the place next to her. “I haven’t gotten to spend any time with you lately.”

  Diana managed to catch the “whose fault is that?” response before it left her lips. She cocked her hip against the bed. “Okay. For a little while. I want to get your lunch going soon.”

  “Did I do a good job with the wedding?”

  “You certainly made it memorable.” For all of Greenville. “And your problem solving was definitely outside the box.”

  Jackie’s eyes drifted close. “I’m glad you’re proud of me.”

  The last sentence cut deep. For most of her life, embarrassment and protectiveness and obligation defined their relationship. It never dawned on Diana her mama gave their relationship a passing thought, much less she wanted her daughter to feel pride in her mother.