The Heart the Cowboy Broke

by M J Andrews

  Lexi sat in the living room, gripping the letter from her Nana in her hand. She never expected her Nana to put her in such a precarious position. Nana knew Lexi was living in New York and had no intention to return to Silverton permanently. Lexi decided to open her letter to see if it helped her gain some clarity on her Nana’s intent.

  The letter was written in her grandmother’s elegant hand and smelt of her unique scent, roses and earl grey tea.

  My dearest Lexi,

  You’re probably wondering about the stipulation I had put in place in my will. I have watched you and Jack grow into amazing and loving people, and I am so proud of both of you for what you’ve accomplished. But after the accident, you left Silverton never to return for any length of time. You were running because you did not want to stay and face the pain. I know a thing or two about that, Peanut. My greatest wish for you is to not have any regrets when you get where I am.

  Now is the time for you to face your demons, love. I so wish I could be there to hold your hand as you face this challenge but know that I am there in spirit. I know you like New York, but you never seemed happy there, but you were always so happy at home and on the ranch. I’m just asking that you give it a try, if not for yourself than for Jack.

  In this envelope is the key to the ranch, as well as any other information you need to know about the business.

  I love you to the moon and back, Peanut.

  Xo - Nana

  “Son of a bitch,” Lexi muttered, running her hand down her face.

  “Peanut?” her mother’s tentative voice pierced her thoughts.

  “Mama, I don’t know what to do,” she confessed.

  Things just became way more complicated.

  Chapter 7

  Sawyer

  Sawyer and his family were relieved that Leo was released. Honestly, he didn’t think he could manage Jordan if he hadn’t been. Leo was forced to work on the ranch after school and would be seeking somewhere to volunteer for his community service. Sawyer hadn’t seen Lexi since that day at court, but that was for the best. She certainly did not respond well to their brief encounter before the court. He didn’t need to give her any other reasons to hate him.

  On Friday, he made his way to see Sara and Brett as promised. Sara was full of excitement and something in his gut twisted because he knew he’d been preoccupied lately and did not spend as much time with his goddaughter as he should. After they shared a meal, Sara yanked him into her room, where she painted his nails a beautiful shade of pink, topped it off with a tiara and feather boa before they sat down for tea.

  “Smile,” Brett said from the doorway.

  Sawyer looked up and Brett’s smile was covered by his phone as he took a photo.

  Son of a bitch.

  “Oh man, your sister is going to pay good money for these,” he chuckled.

  Sawyer scowled and eyed Brett. The bastard enjoyed documenting his torment. Lucky for him, Sarah was the cutest child to ever walk the earth, so he wouldn’t be embarrassed. After his laughter died down, Brett prompted Sara to get ready for bed.

  “Will you read me a story, Uncle Sawyer?” she asked.

  Who in their right might would deny her anything? All she had to do was push out her little lip and her every desire would be plopped down in front of her.

  “You know I never miss a chance to read about Peppa the Pig. She’s my girl, ya know?” he said, as he stood and walked out with Brett while Sara got ready for bed.

  “I find it hard to believe there is any of you in that sweet innocent child,” he said to Brett shaking his head.

  “Hey, you haven’t seen her have a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store because she couldn’t get Lucky Charms,” he sighed.

  Sawyer shrugged, “That part is all you, my friend.”

  “I’m ready, Uncle Sawyer!” Sara yelled from her room.

  Sawyer left Brett and headed into Sara’s room, where she was carefully tucked into her princess bed. She already had several books laid out and had pulled her favourite bunny under the covers with her. She looked exactly like her mother with her bright blue eyes and golden ringlets flanking her face. Lucy had a spirit that brightened every room and a laugh that radiated happiness. He missed her every day, but most of all he missed the way his friend smiled when she was around. It had been a long time since Brett felt that kind of happiness. And he wanted that for him and Sara.

  “Uncle Sawyer,” she said, as he sat alongside her bed with her favourite fairy tale book.

  “Can you tell me about my mommy?” she asked. Sawyer felt his heart drop at the thought of Sara’s life without Lucy. She would have loved to see her grow up, graduate, get married and have a family of her own one day. Brett had always ensured that Sara knew about her mother and let her ask as many questions as she needed.

  “Of course, shall I tell you about when you were born?” he asked.

  “Oh yes, that’s my favourite!” she squealed clapping her little chubby hands together happily.

  Sawyer leaned back on her headboard and Sara curled up into his side with her favourite bunny as the star nightlight glowed just enough to see her contented angelic face.

  “Well, your mommy and daddy are my best friends. Your daddy and I grew up here together and we got in so much trouble when we were small. Old missus Hart would call us ‘double trouble’,” her little giggle was muffled as she cuddled closer.

  “Your mommy and daddy got married, in this big church with a lot of people. Your daddy wore a fancy suit,” he continued.

  “Did he look the handsomest?” She asked.

  “I’m sure your mommy thought he was, but we all know that I was the most handsome. He looked like a penguin in my opinion,” he teased as he stroked her hair gently.

  “Your mommy was so beautiful, and before you ask, yes she was by far the most beautiful woman there. They got married and a year later they found out that you were coming into this world. They were overjoyed and your mommy got excited picking out all the pink and princess things for your room. The day you were born was the best day of their lives and mine.”

  “Yours too?” she asked stifling a yawn and her little eyes began to droop with exhaustion.

  “Mine too, because that was the day your mommy and daddy asked me to be your Godfather. And I held you for the very first time and you were so tiny. You were so innocent and beautiful. I knew then, that no matter what, I would help them keep you safe. I would make sure boys ran screaming from the house and embarrass you when I'd see you at the mall with your friends,” he whispered.

  Her breathing steadied and Sawyer inched his way out from under her hold and kissed her forehead before he closed the door gently. He joined Brett in the kitchen where he was handed a beer and sat across from him at the island.

  “So,” Brett started, “what are you going to do about Lexi?”

  “Why would I do anything about Lexi?” Sawyer asked. Brett rolled his eyes and took another drag on his beer before he answered.

  “Because anyone who knows you as well as I do, knows that you loved that girl back in the day. You stayed by her bedside while she recovered, and you’re not even sure if she knows that,” he challenged.

  “Man, she wants nothing to do with me. You could have frozen the creek with the level of cold she tossed my way,” he sighed and ran a hand through his chestnut hair.

  “I know you’ve struggled with what went down years ago. I also know that you’ve changed a lot since then. You’re not that stupid little boy anymore, Sawyer. Well, you’re not little anymore,” he mocked.

  “She’s only back for a brief time, Brett. It won’t do either of us any good by rehashing the past,” he offered.

  “Word around town is that she’ll be staying a bit longer than expected,” he cooed.

  Sawyer stopped drinking for a moment before he laid his bottle down. He couldn’t process what his friend said to him. Lexi had visited several times over the years, but she always returned to New York. Sure, he�
��d made attempts over the years to engage her, but she always brushed him off.

  “Why would she?” he asked Brett. Sawyer was genuinely confused as to why Brett would make such a comment. He knew everything there was to know about the night of Lexi’s accident. Meaning, he knew how Sawyer felt about her and how just hearing her name had a drastic impact on him.

  “According to Jack, her Nana left them both the ranch and they have to live on it for a year or lose it all. Jack said his sister is still trying to figure out a loophole but there’s none that they know of,” he smiled.

  “Wait, you mean the ranch Mrs Jenkins owned next to McGuire’s ranch?” he asked, his shock unable to be wiped off his face.

  “That very one,” Brett said with a smug look on his stupid face.

  One baseball game and plate of nachos later and Sawyer headed home to the ranch to find comfort in his king-sized bed when a call from dispatch caught his ear. It was reported that there was a minor accident on Route 86 between a white BMW and a Ford F 150. Sawyer recognized the BMW to be Lexi’s since she was the only one in their small town with such a fancy piece of crap besides Jordan. Jordan’s car was bright red, so he ruled her out.

  The Deputy on duty was handling a domestic call and the accident would have to wait until he was finished. Sawyer wished at that moment that they had more resources to better serve the town. He wasn’t willing to let Lexi sit on the side of the road while he passed by, so he picked up his radio and advised Cindy, the dispatcher, that he would take the call as he was in the area.

  Sawyer rolled up on the scene, where the F 150 had rear-ended Lexi’s BMW. There was a large built man crotched by the driver side door of Lexi’s car. He jumped out of his car and approached. He heard sobs and a gruff voice attempting to soothe.

  “Is everyone okay?” he asked moving closer. The damage was minor but the stricken expression on the man told him that something was not right. The man stood and moved back from the car, where a distraught Lexi held her head in her hands and rocked back and forth as she sobbed.

  He shifted closer and bent down placing a hand on her shoulder. He hoped the contact wouldn’t cause her to become escalated.

  “Lexi, sweetheart, are you hurt?” he asked softly.

  Lexi rocked and was counting from what he heard of her mumbled words. He took his time to assess whether she had any injuries, but there was no blood or any obvious signs of injury.

  “1…2…3…4…5…6…” she mumbled trying to catch her breath in between sobs.

  Sawyer reached over and unlocked the seat belt and placed another hand on her shoulder as he tried to get her attention.

  “Lex, it’s me, Sawyer. Can you look at me, darling?” he asked. At his name, her head popped up and he caught sight of the tears flooding her eyes and long black streaks from mascara covered her cheeks. She turned her head and her eyes met him, but hers were glassed as though she wasn’t present in the here and now.

  “Sawyer?” she asked. “No, not Sawyer, anyone but Sawyer,” she blurted before she crumpled over wheezing.

  Sawyer’s heart broke into a million pieces at the thought that she wanted anyone but him to help her. He’d sat with her through the night terrors when she was in the hospital and she may not remember that, but he did. As gently as possible, he lifted her from the car and she clung to him as though he was the answer to the world’s unknown mysteries. She was so small and he thought that if he squeezed hard enough, he would break her. He heard the sirens of the ambulance headed their way, but the sirens caused Lexi to flinched and he knew the sound triggered her memories. He quickly radioed and asked the paramedics to not play the siren.

  He held Lexi in his arms as he leaned against the side of her car. He rubbed her back and cradled her in his arms. She began to calm and her breaths came slow and steady. She looked up at him and the pain he saw in her eyes was his undoing. This strong, fierce and smart-mouthed woman was falling to pieces in his arms.

  “Sawyer?” she asked, her voice low and vulnerable.

  “Yes, Sugar, I’m here,” he whispered.

  “Oh God,” she huffed jumping back from his arms. She stumbled and he reached out to steady her, but she flinched out of his reach.

  “Don’t touch me,” she gritted out. Sawyer put up his hands and backed away to reassure her that he wouldn’t.

  “Lexi, I got here and you were hysterical. I had to get you out of the car to see if you were injured,” he said.

  “I’m fine,” she muttered wiping the mascara from her cheeks frantically.

  “I’m sure you are, but let the paramedics take a look at you,” Sawyer said, as the paramedics approached.

  “No, I’m fine. Just a little shook up,” she turned towards the paramedics, “I’m okay, I don’t need any medical help, thank you,” she said.

  She straightened herself and Sawyer saw the facade of the ice queen switch on her face. She walked toward the man and assessed the damage to her car. They exchanged contact information, and Lexi strutted toward him.

  “Thank you for responding, Sheriff, but there is no damage and neither of us wishes to make a formal complaint,” she said coldly.

  She had to be crazy if she thought that he was going to let her panic attack slide under the radar. She had once been the girl he loved and he wouldn’t let her go until he was sure she would be okay. The paramedics and the man in the Ford drove off, which left Lexi and Sawyer standing in the intersection in an odd stare down.

  “I’m not letting you go until I know you’re okay,” he said.

  “I’m fine, you have done your duty, Sheriff, I am no longer in need of your assistance,” she sneered but was unable to meet his eye. She made to turn away from him, so he caught her elbow and turned her to face him.

  “Lexi, I’m here as a friend,” he said unable to force his stare away from her face.

  “We stopped being friends a long time ago, Sawyer,” she argued.

  He raised his hand and swiped his knuckles over her cheek, causing her eyes to close at his touch. He studied the dark circles under her beautiful hazel eyes and felt the warmth silkiness of her skin.

  “Maybe you did, Lex. But I never stopped caring about you, ever,” he whispered, as his eyes glanced to her lips. His hand cupped her chin as she licked her bottom lip and he tilted his head closer to her face. Her soft delicate lips were a breath away from his and he desperately wanted to taste her. But she moved back and out of his grasp.

  “That’s not what I remember, Sawyer,” she said, as she got in her car and drove away. Sawyer was left standing in the road wondering how he could persuade Lexi to speak with him. He needed to clear the air if it was the last thing he did.

  Chapter 8

  Lexi

  Lexi was still reeling from the encounter with Sawyer Friday night when her boss called from New York to discuss her request for a leave of absence. Since the shock of Nana’s will had settled, she realized that she needed to stay and help her brother. Jack dreamt of owning his own ranch and she wouldn’t stand in the way of that.

  Mr Harper was the District Attorney and he was the typical boys club member who thought women belonged in the kitchen and not in the courtroom. She worked hard to prove to the partners that she was a strong lawyer, but she feared that asking for the leave would cast her in a different light.

  “Mr Harper, Thank you for returning my call,” she said from the window seat in her bedroom.

  “Ms Scott, I understand you have encountered some family issues and have requested a leave of absence from your position, is that correct?” he asked, his displeasure spilt through the phone.

  “Yes, I am sorry to have to request, but I am legally required to remain in Silverton until conditions of the will are met,” she added.

  He coughed loudly, “Well, we are unable to hold your position at the firm for any longer than six months. We have many valuable cases that depend on reliable staff but you’re a damn good prosecutor and I don’t want to lose you. How about you t
ake six months and see if you can find some way to return to New York. If there isn’t a resolution, we will have to consider alternatives,” he sighed.

  Her shoulders dropped and the strain in her neck radiated to her head, a sure sign that there was a migraine in her future.

  “I understand Mr Harper. Thank you for considering the request,” she added.

  She hung up the phone and made her way downstairs where her brother was supposed to meet her so they could visit the ranch. Sure enough, he was in the kitchen devouring some of Mama’s leftover peach cobbler. She leaned against the doorway as she watched her brother empty the contents of the refrigerator.

  “What are you going to do when we move out to the ranch and mama isn’t around to cook for you?” she teased.