The Heart the Cowboy Broke

by M J Andrews

  “Don’t ever apologize for kissing me,” he said, as a small smile crept across his lips.

  “Stay with me, Sawyer,” she begged, as she fisted his shirt and bit her bottom lip nervously in anticipation.

  “Okay, Lex. Whatever makes you comfortable. But I’ll take the floor,” he said with a wink, as he made his way out of the bedroom to check all the other areas and secure all the entrances. Lexi ran to the doorway, baffled that she’d asked him to stay and he said he would. But on the floor?

  “The floor? The bed is big enough for both of us,” she argued. Sawyer stopped and turned on the stairs, piercing her soul with forest green eyes that blazed over her body.

  “As much as I would love to darling, there are some things we should talk about before this,” he motioned between them, “goes any further.”

  Her shoulder slumped at his rejection and she felt the sting of his words. Of course, he didn’t want her. She was the girl with the scar. The “she would be pretty if it wasn’t for that scar” girl. He must’ve recognized her line of thought because he sauntered to her and put his strong hands on the sides of her face raising her lips to his. He pressed a chaste kiss to them and he pulled away far too soon for her liking.

  “I want you, Lexi. I want to keep you in that bed for days as I make your body scream my name over and over again. But we need to clear the air first,” he said, as he placed a peck to her cheek and made his way down the stairs.

  What the hell did he mean by clearing the air.

  Chapter 15

  Sawyer

  Sawyer was on high alert and he needed reinforcements to ensure that Lexi stayed safe until Brant was re-captured. Once he secured all the locks on the doors, windows and checked every nook and cranny of the house, he pulled out his phone and called his brother.

  “Please tell me you have Lexi?” Remi asked, his tone frantic and strained.

  “Well, at least someone noticed she’d slipped out. Where the heck was the undercover?” Sawyer demanded, his voice rose in anger. What was the point of paying Deputies to serve and protect if they couldn’t follow simple orders? He did not doubt that they were distracted by a short skirt and barely there shirt.

  “Jesus, Sawyer. I have no idea. Me and Aubrey have been searching the bar for thirty minutes for her. Do you have her?” Remi questioned.

  “Yeah, I have her. But I need you, Jack, Finn and the ladies to come to Jenkin’s ranch. I need your help.”

  “What’s going on Sawyer?” Remi whispered into the phone as not to cause alarm to those who were around him.

  “There have been some developments and I want everyone impacted here in my line of vision,” Sawyer answered.

  Remi sighed before he replied, “Okay brother. I’ll grab the clan and get there at once. However, you should know… the ladies are pretty tanked.”

  The last thing he wanted to do for the remainder of the night was listen to Daisy and Jordan rant about how he ruined their fun again. Those two were a force when they were sober. Intoxicated and with his new sister in law… well, that was a recipe for disaster.

  Sawyer groaned, “Jesus… Well, it’s not like we can change that now, can we?”

  Remi laughed at his brother’s distraught and sarcastic tone, “Now, now brother, girls just wanna have fun, ya know? I’ll get them there on the double. See ya soon.”

  Sawyer tossed his phone on the couch and cupped the back of his neck. He felt the tension forming in his shoulders and the stress of the day lodged in the curve of his back. He couldn’t think about that now, he had to make sure that Lexi and everyone he loved was protected. He shot a text to the Deputy assigned to her parents and confirmed they were fine and still under surveillance. Luckily the Deputy was Parker and he was diligent about his duties. With that completed, he drew all the curtains in the house and went back upstairs to check on Lexi.

  It wasn’t an ideal time to have a chat with her about the past, but he had no choice if he wanted to build a relationship of some sort with her. He needed to divulge all the details to her so that she could make her own decisions.

  He knocked softly on the door frame as he observed her sitting at an antique vanity brushing her long brown hair. Her gaze lifted and their eyes met in the mirror before she turned to face him. She’d changed into different clothes while he was downstairs and he inwardly groaned at her choice of attire. She wore a silky purple nightgown with lace covering the tops of her breasts and a matching robe. When she stood his eyes hungrily took in the short nightgown and the slim toned legs that were exposed.

  She was testing his resolve. And the smirk that crossed her face when she caught his gaze, told him that she knew it.

  She cleared her throat, “You said we needed to clear the air, Sheriff?”.

  Right. Clear the air.

  He nodded before he gestured for her to take a seat next to him on the bed. He grasped her hands in his hands and brushed a kiss across her knuckles before he started. He inhaled deeply and reminded himself that the only way to move forward was to acknowledge the past. No matter how much it hurt.

  “The night of the accident…” he started. He physically felt Lexi’s body posture tighten at the mention of the night that changed everything.

  “Sawyer… I don’t think we need to rehash the past…” she argued, as Sawyer shook his head.

  “The truth is Lexi that I’ve waited a long time to talk with you about that night and I need to get it off my chest if there is ever going to be a future between us,” he admitted.

  Her brows furrowed and a crease formed two deep lines just above her nose. He could tell that she was thinking hard about what he said and reluctantly nodded for him to continue.

  “We both know what happened before you left the party. And I’ll be the first to admit I was a jackass. I never should have said those things about you. It was unfair. Especially, when my feelings for you were the opposite…”

  Her eyes filled with unshed tears and his heart broke. He knew it was hard for her to remember that night, but he had to continue.

  “But when you left the party so upset, I ran after you,” Sawyer admitted.

  “W-What?” Lexi whispered as the shock and surprise caressed her beautiful face. She had no idea and no memory of what happened.

  “I was maybe a block behind you when you stepped off the curb and the car hit you,” his voice choked at the last word, as he recalled the devastation he felt as he saw Lexi’s lifeless body sprawled across the pavement.

  “When I got to you, you were in bad shape. There was a lot of damage and you were in and out of consciousness,” he squeezed her hand tightly in his. He needed to touch her to remember that she made it out of that incident alive.

  “Y-You were there?” she questioned.

  “Yes. I was the first one there and Lexi I know that night changed everything for you. But at that moment, everything about who I was and who I wanted to be changed. Holding you in my arms as you bled and not knowing if you were going to be okay… that changed me,” Sawyer’s eyes stung as he fought back tears. He wasn’t afraid to cry. Some people thought real men didn’t cry, but he thought the opposite. Lexi’s gaze met his as she raised her hand to brush a rogue tear from his cheek.

  “Keep going. I want to know,” she said softly.

  He sniffed and caught her hand in his as he placed a delicate kiss to the inside of her palm.

  “I refused to leave you and I rode with you to the hospital. I met your parents and brother and explained what had happened. After you came out of surgery and were permitted visitors, I visited. Almost every day for two weeks,” he admitted.

  “But you were in a lot of pain and were in and out most of the time. When your parents took you to Houston, Jack kept me up to date on how you were doing,” he said.

  “Why hasn’t anyone mentioned this to me before, Sawyer?” she asked.

  “Because I asked them not to,” he said guiltily, as he broke eye contact and stared at his feet. He couldn’t lo
ok at her when he admitted that he didn’t want her to know.

  “Why?” She asked. Sawyer closed his eyes and grimaced as he continued with his story.

  “One night when I was visiting, your parents and Jack had gone home for some much-needed rest and I agreed to stay with you. It was the night before you were to leave for Houston and I knew I wouldn’t be able to see you once you left. I slept in the chair in the room and woke that morning to you yelling. You were screaming and crying in your sleep. I rushed over to try and soothe you. You must’ve woken a little bit and recognized me because you weren’t happy.”

  “How do I not remember any of this? What did I say, Sawyer?”

  “You told me that you would never forgive me and that I was the reason you were hurt. I was the reason your life would never be the same again and that you wanted me to leave you alone,” he said, tears freely fell from his eyes as he recalled the hurt and pain he saw on her face back then.

  Lexi gasped as her hand flew to her mouth. She knelt before him and stare at him as though she was peering into the unknown depths of his soul.

  “I’m sorry Sawyer. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t know… I- I,” she sobbed before he pulled her into his arms.

  “I don’t blame you for feeling that way, Lex. But after that, I was determined to be a different person. I never wanted to make someone feel like that ever again. So the next day, I enlisted in the Army instead of taking that football scholarship to Texas State,” he kissed the top of her head as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “As horrible as that time was, it sent me on a path to become the man I am today,” he said. “and I owe that to you, Lexi.”

  She raised her head from his chest and wiped the tears from his face.

  “I was so wrong about you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I should have followed my heart a long time ago, but my pride stood in the way. I never meant to push you away. But I was afraid to pull you close as I wanted,” she paused. “And I wanted to, Sawyer. I wanted you so badly that it hurt to see you.”

  “Do you still want that Lexi? Because I still want you and not just physically. I want it all Lex. The house. The kids. The wedding. The whole kit and caboodle. There has never been a woman who has made me want that besides you,” he confided.

  He knew he was getting a bit ahead of himself. He hadn’t even asked her on a date, let alone fast forward to marriage and kids. But when it came to Lexi, he couldn’t hold back his feelings. His heart wouldn’t let him do it any longer.

  “How’s about we start with forgiving each other and maybe a date before we rush to the courthouse for a marriage license?” she smiled.

  “Deal,” Sawyer said before he grabbed her face and kissed her fiercely. He would never get enough of her. She was it for him and he knew it.

  She wrapped her hands around his neck and pushed him back onto the bed before she settled her thighs around his waist.

  He could get used to this, he thought.

  He ran his hands through her silky hair and devoured her. She moaned as his tongue ravished her sweet mouth and took its time to discover what she liked. His arousal grew and the zipper of his pants began to strain as her hardened nipples pressed into his chest. He growled and shifted positions. She yelped as he tossed her back on the bed and pinned her hands above her head and his hips between her thighs.

  He moved his hand down her arm and briefly grazed her breast before gripping her ass in his palm. She whimpered and her body arched into him. With the little nightgown and panties the only barrier between his erection and her core, he felt her wetness as she rubbed her core against him.

  “Oh, God…” she whispered against his lips, as he moved his hips to match her rhythm. His mouth moved down her nape, leaving open-mouthed kisses over her collar bone before taking a perky nipple into his warm mouth through her nightgown. Her hands flew his hair as she held him close to her.

  “More, Sawyer, please…” she pleads as he moved from one perfect mound to the other. Sawyer was about to give in when there was a knock at the door. He groaned as rested her forehead against her shoulder.

  “Who the hell is knocking on my door at 3 am?” she questioned. Sawyer peeled his body off of hers with great determination before he took her lips in a sweet kiss.

  “My family…” he admitted.

  “Talk about a cock block…” she joked before she moved around Sawyer to go answer the door. He grasped her elbow and pulled her into him.

  “Perhaps you should put some clothes on first,” he said.

  She raised her eyebrow in challenge, “I rather like what I’m wearing, Sheriff.”

  He growled and kissed her again, “As do I. Very, very much. But I don’t need my brothers seeing you in this. I want that for myself.”

  “Fine, fine, I’ll change,” she conceded before pressing a kiss to his cheek and turning towards the bathroom. As she strutted away from him, she pulled off the nightgown and dropped the robe, revealing her bareback and perfect little ass covered in a tiny piece of underwear. She looked over her shoulder before she said, “You better go answer the door Sheriff.”

  He closed his eyes tightly and chastised himself for bringing his family there. Now, he had to deal with them while trying not to picture Lexi naked and writhing under him.

  “Fucking cock blocking family” he muttered, as he made his way out of the room.

  Chapter 16

  Lexi

  Lexi sat in the living room curled up under a handmade throw her Nana made. She watched in awe as the people around her lost their shit. Aubrey was passed out on the love seat, Jordan was throwing up in the half bath and Daisy was yelling at Finn for something. It was a shit show. Meanwhile, Lexi barely kept her eyes open and her body screamed to take a nice long hot shower before she hopped into bed.

  A loud whistle boomed through the room, which caught everyone’s attention. Sawyer stood with his hands firmly placed on his hips as he finally got the attention of his family.

  “Okay, y’all need to stop everything and listen…” he said sternly.

  “Lex, perhaps you should start by telling us about Brant and his MO?” He said turning his stare toward her. The concern that flushed through his face only made her heart melt.

  Lexi sat up and braced herself to relay the horrific details of Brant and her ongoing “friendship”. Brant was a different kind of psycho. He got off on making others suffer the most and he reviled in pain. Lexi cleared her throat. She hadn’t been able to get through talking about the victims without crying, but she wouldn’t let herself do that in front of the McGuires.

  “I worked with the DA in New York and I put a lot of scum behind bars for the rest of their lives. Brant was by far the only one that scared me. And with good reason. He murdered twelve young women in and around the New York area and dumped most of their bodies in prominent tourist attraction for others to find,” she said.

  Sawyer picked up on her discomfort and sat next to her on the couch. He grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers before he squeezed tightly. She didn’t know if he knew the magnitude of the gesture and that it gave her the strength to continue.

  “And you were assigned the case?” Finn asked as he slouched against the door frame.

  “Yes. Actually… I volunteered to take it,” she admitted.

  “Why?” Daisy countered.

  Lexi took a deep breath before she worked up the nerve to continue. “The DA office in Manhattan is one of the largest and by far the biggest boys club. Women rarely went up in the ranks and I felt I had to prove myself. As a woman, I was seen as weak, but even I knew that having a female prosecutor on this case would make an impact on a jury,” she confessed.

  “Throughout the trial, which was an open and shut case. We had DNA and Brant was so narcissistic that he wanted all the glory for his murders,” she scoffed, “Still, I was surprised when his attorney put him on the stand. It was a stupid move on their part, but I suspect Brant wanted the opportunity to take advantage
of the limelight. And I was right.”

  “What did he do to them, Lexi?” Jordan asked hesitantly. Lexi knew she wanted answers. God knew that Lexi had begged God many times while she cried over the photos of the victims, for answers.

  “He kidnapped and murdered twelve women. The women all died from heart failure due to shock as Brant enjoyed torture. Each victim was tortured in many different ways before they ultimately succumbed to their injuries. The youngest victim was only fourteen.”