by Alice Gaynes
“I didn’t know. None of us did.”
“Didn’t you investigate Oakhurst before you gave her over to him?”
Durant looked up at him. “It wasn’t my decision.”
“You could have visited her, seen to her wellbeing. Instead you all took Oakhurst’s social standing—perhaps his money too—and abandoned Caroline to him.”
“All right, all right.” Durant rose and paced to the sideboard and then turned back to face Wortham. “I didn’t do everything I could. I’m trying to take care of her now.”
“By helping her to kidnap a peer? It is a crime you know.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“I haven’t decided.” He’d had no doubt at first. He’d planned to see them all in Newgate for what they’d done. Now he had no idea. He’d moved past anger at her, past even making her his mistress. For the first time in his life he was contemplating marriage. Such a ridiculous idea, he ought to laugh aloud at it. But every time he thought of her as his wife tenderness settled in his heart, not laughter.
Durant’s eyes widened. “You really do love her don’t you?”
“Would that finally stop you from hating me?”
“Cecily—”
“Hang Cecily. I never knew her.”
“I’m beginning to believe you.” Durant raised his arms in a gesture of frustration. “But why would she lie?”
“Who knows why young girls lie about these things? They have their own rules men can never understand.”
“If you’re telling the truth we’ve done you a terrible wrong.”
“There’s one thing you can do to make up for it.”
Durant straightened. “Name it.”
“Convince your sister I’m not a monster.” He sighed. “Now I have to try to explain that harlot remark to her.”
* * * * *
He found Caroline sitting on a bench in the garden facing off toward her woods. A full moon hung in the cloudless sky, its light reflecting from puddles left from the storm the night before. The air held a chill and she’d thrown a shawl over her shoulders. When his feet crunched against the gravel of the walk, she turned and looked up into his face. She stared at him for a moment as if contemplating whether she should stay. In the end she turned back but didn’t leave. The rigid set of her back didn’t exactly invite him to join her but she hadn’t rejected him completely either.
He took a breath, walked to the bench and sat beside her. “I didn’t mean it you know.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t act stupid. It doesn’t suit you.”
“So I’m a stupid harlot. Who knew?”
He took her hand in his. She resisted at first but finally allowed him to hold it in his lap with both sets of fingers curled around it. She had an impressive height for a woman but tonight she seemed small, even fragile.
“I know it’s not much of an excuse,” he said. “But your brother did use the term first.”
“Only after you reminded him of how I lost my virtue.”
“You gave your virginity to your husband. That’s what a wife’s supposed to do.”
She looked up at him as if he was a prize idiot. “Now who’s being stupid?”
“All right. I said a few things I didn’t mean. My only defense is that your brother is one of the most disagreeable men I’ve ever met.”
She pulled her hand from his and put it back into her own lap. “He’s doesn’t think much of you either.”
“I don’t see what gives the two of you the right to disapprove of me after drugging me and keeping me prisoner.”
“Cecily—”
“Damn it, woman! I did not bed your sister.”
She flinched at his raised voice. She did her best to hide it but he knew her too well now to miss the signs of her discomfort. Men had treated her badly, encouraged by her own husband. Now he’d added to the abuse. Only what was he to do when she continued to believe the worst about him? He only wanted to love her and have her love him back. He could heal her if she’d let him. Of course right now he’d like to throttle her. And her brother and maybe redheaded Abby too. The lot of them were more than anyone should have to bear.
He sat in silence, willing his temper back under control. Higher in the sky now, the moon continued its display and a bird called in the distance. A night like this ought to be romantic. Maybe he could still salvage this conversation.
“I meant it when I told you I love you,” he said softly.
She sat very still, her expression saying nothing about how she felt about that bit of news.
“I’ve never been in love before,” he added. “I doubt I’d feel that way about a harlot.”
“But I am a harlot,” she said softly.
He took her chin and turned her head to face him. “You were badly used through no fault of your own.”
“I could have done something. Gotten word to my parents and begged them to take me home. Tried to escape.”
“You saw what happened to me when I tried to escape.”
“Maybe I should have died.”
“No, Caroline.” He pulled her into his arms and pressed her head against his chest stroking her face. “Don’t even say it.”
“There’s something I haven’t told anyone not even Abby.”
He didn’t answer but just held her rubbing the backs of his fingers over her cheek. She might confide in him now, truly let him know her. One wrong word here could close her up again.
“I dream about it sometimes,” she whispered. “Even the sounds and smells. I can feel hands on me, things penetrating where they shouldn’t. Choking down some man’s semen and feeling I’m going to die.”
“Oh my darling. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
“I used to think that when Oakhurst died I’d be free but it never ends.”
“It can end, Caroline. I swear it,” he said.
“I don’t see how.”
He lifted her face to his again and looked into her eyes. There ought to be tears there after what she’d told him. Memories like those would make anyone weep. Instead he only found a hollow expression. Had Oakhurst damaged her so badly she couldn’t even cry?
“Let me love you,” he said. “After a while you’ll be able to love me.”
“You would have been one of Oakhurst’s guests if you’d found Sans Regret wouldn’t you?”
He couldn’t lie not about something so important. “Yes.”
“You would have used me as the others did.”
“There you’re wrong.” He didn’t even have to think about that. “I’ve never forced a woman.”
“What about last night in the little room above the main hall?”
“You tricked me into thinking you wanted me.”
She bit her lip for a moment. “I did want you. I fought it.”
“You wanted what happened later too. And you wanted me this morning.”
She rested her face against his chest again. “Yes.”
“See then? I’ve already helped.”
“I don’t know.”
He held her close. “Think back to when you were a girl. Didn’t you dream about falling in love?”
“Foolishness.”
“Not at all.” To be honest he’d always thought of young girls as foolish and empty-headed. Caroline would have been different with her quick mind and interest in nature. If only he’d seen her—really seen her—before Oakhurst did. She could be Lady Wortham now and the two of them would have children. Dear Lord where had those images come from? His only thoughts on marriage until now had been how to avoid it. She’d set out to kidnap his body and ended up with his heart too.
“Together we can make you right again,” he said. “Close this place up and come back to London with me. We can make a good life together there. For heaven’s sake, Caroline we may have created a child.”
She shook her head. “Impossible.”
“How can you kno
w that?”
“Oakhurst tried on me for years. I never conceived. I’m barren.”
“Perhaps the problem was his, not yours.”
“No. It doesn’t matter.” She straightened pulling herself from his embrace. “None of what you say would work.”
“Why on earth not?”
“We can shut down Sans Regret but I’ll always carry it around inside me.”
“Rubbish.”
She pulled her shawl tight around her, hugging her ribs in the process. “Imagine this. We’re at a dinner party together or a ball. Surrounded by all the best people and you’d have no way of knowing which of them had had me in some perverse way or other.”
He sucked in a breath as if she’d punched him in the stomach. Denials half-formed in his brain and then evaporated before he could get them out of his mouth. She was right. Bloody hell she was right.
“No, James. It won’t work. I’m tainted.”
* * * * *
Abby was waiting for Caroline when she went back into the house. Her friend met her at the back entrance and followed her all the way up to her suite of rooms.
“Tell me what happened,” Abby said.
“We talked.”
“I could see that.”
Caroline stopped at the door to her sitting room. “You watched?”
“Of course I watched. Wouldn’t you in my position?”
“Your position?”
Abby put her hand over Caroline’s and squeezed. “I’m your friend. I care about you.”
“Come in then and I’ll tell you about it.”
Caroline opened the door, walked inside and dropped her shawl onto a chair. Abby followed, closing the door behind her.
“He apologized for his remark I gather,” Abby said.
“He needn’t have bothered. Robert provoked him to it.”
“You accepted his apology.”
“And very graciously.”
Abby dropped into an empty chair. “Good, that’s settled.”
“Even better. He’s quite besotted it seems. He’s even talking of us making a life together.”
“Hallelujah!” Abby shot out of the chair grabbed Caroline’s hands and led her to the window seat. “I couldn’t be happier. No one deserves this more than you.”
“You’re as daft as he is,” Caroline said. “He and I don’t have a life together.”
“Why ever not?”
“He ruined my sister. He ruined me.”
“You’re so stubborn.” Abby grabbed her chin and pulled her head around. “The man’s in love with you. It’s written all over him.”
“That was our plan remember?”
“Besides he said he didn’t have anything to do with Cecily.”
Caroline pushed Abby’s hand away. “And you believe him I suppose.”
“I’ve been watching him ever since you brought him here. He doesn’t act like a cad.”
“You know his reputation. He doesn’t deny that he’s a rake. He had to run to India to avoid a duel.”
Abby crossed her arms over her chest. “What man wouldn’t be a rake if given the chance?”
“That doesn’t excuse him.”
“I don’t care if you excuse him. I don’t care if he’s a rake. I don’t care if he killed ten men in a duel. He can make you happy.”
“Abby, you of all people should know that no man can make me happy.”
Abby cocked her head and gave her a quizzical look. “I should know that?”
“Look at how you earn a living.”
“You think that because I’m a prostitute I can’t fall in love?”
“How could you stand for a man to touch you?”
That look entered Abby’s eyes. The same look Robert got sometimes when he thought Caroline wasn’t watching. Pity. Damn useless pointless pity.
“It’s different for you,” Abby said. “I should have seen that.”
“Don’t look at me that way.”
“I had some choice in my fate. Unlike some in my profession I’ve never done anything against my will. That gives me some measure of power over people who think they’ve bought me.”
What an odd thing to say. Caroline sat and stared at Abby. “Power?”
“Isn’t it power you wanted over Wortham? The ability to break his heart?”
She hadn’t thought of it in exactly that way but Abby was right. She’d wanted to use his own lecherous nature against him but mostly she’d wanted power over him.
“You got what you wanted from him,” Abby said. “Now take what you need. Love.”
“What if I can’t return his love?”
“You will.” Abby touched her hand again. “Give yourself time.”
“I don’t know—”
“Well I do. I’m going to see that you’re happy despite yourself.”
* * * * *
Wearing only his robe, Wortham lay in the bed in the subterranean love nest with a smile on his face. Once Caroline had sent him down here so Margaret wouldn’t find him. Now he’d come here on his own to set a trap for the lady of the house.
Across the room, a fire burned off any chill. Abby had ended up an ally after all. The two of them had planned a surprise for Lady Oakhurst. He only had to wait for the prey to come to her predator.
Their voices sounded on the staircase outside. He took that as his cue and let out a loud moan.
“For heaven’s sake hurry,” Abby said. “I’m afraid he might be dying.”
He rolled onto his side and clutched his stomach then squeezed his face into a grimace.
“Why on earth did you bring him down here?” Caroline said.
“I didn’t want anyone to hear him groaning,” Abby answered.
The two of them appeared at the doorway. Abby held a torch above them. Caroline looked around and huffed. “Here of all places.”
“I was frantic,” Abby said. “I didn’t think.”
He moaned again loudly and turned to face the wall.
“Do something Caroline,” Abby said. “I’m afraid he’s going to die.”
Caroline walked to the bed and sat on the edge. He shut his eyes, faking pain, and enjoyed the cool touch of her fingers on his brow.
“He doesn’t feel hot.”
“Just look at him.”
He rolled over grabbed Caroline’s hand and placed it against his stomach.
She looked into his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“My belly.”
“Is he dying?” Abby asked.
“Of course not. It’s probably something he ate.”
He gazed up her as piteously as he could manage. “Stay with me, Caroline.”
“He needs a doctor,” Abby said.
“No doctor,” Caroline answered. “I’ll take care of him myself.”
“I’ll get your medicines,” Abby said.
“Yes and a basin for water and some clean cloths.”
“Right.” Abby left the room and closed the door behind her. The lock clicked shut. The trap had been sprung.
Caroline sat up straight cocking her head. “Abby?”
No answer came of course. Abby was probably upstairs by now laughing at her own cleverness.
“Abby?” Caroline got up and went to the door. She tried the knob but it didn’t move. “Abby. Abby, open this door!”
He rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. “I doubt she can hear you.”
She spun and glared at him. It was probably a trick of the firelight but her eyes seemed to shoot sparks. “You’re supposed to be sick.”
“I am sick. In my heart. For you.”
“Don’t be idiotic.” She turned and pounded on the door. “Abby. Anyone. Let me out.”
“She told the staff you didn’t want to be disturbed. No one will come down here for a very long time.”
She turned back and stared daggers at him. “You wouldn’t dare make me a prisoner.”
“That’s hypocritical coming from you isn’t it?
“Your company,” he answered. “Your love.”
“You expect to make me love you by locking me up?”
“Just as you did to me,” he said. “Delicious irony wouldn’t you say?”
“It won’t work.”
“We’ll see.”
She looked around the room at all the voluptuous devices her late husband had stocked for this secret chamber. Some he’d sooner die than use on Caroline—whips and lethal-looking knives hanging on the walls. Others held more promise such as the plush rug before the fire and the couch covered with cushions. Even the bed offered endless possibilities as it was half again as large as most. A couple could roll and change positions easily on its surface. Something he planned to try as soon as she got over her anger and resigned herself to her fate. She wouldn’t escape this room until he’d proved his love to her and she’d surrendered to her own for him.
“You and Abby tricked me,” she said.
He smiled. “Very creative, that one.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Abby will pay for this.”
“She only wants what’s best for you. We both do.” He patted the mattress next to him. “Come take care of me.”
“You’re not sick.”
“I’m swollen. Here.” He put his palm over the fabric covering his erection. “It’s almost painful. Only you can cure it.”
“I suppose you think this is a joke.”
“To the contrary it’s deadly serious.” He patted the mattress again. “Come sit down.”
She hesitated for a moment. In the end she seemed to realize she had no choice. After an indignant huff she walked across the room and sat next to him.
“You’ve been denying your feelings for me,” he said.
She opened her mouth to speak but he reached up and placed his finger over her lips.
“You’ve fallen in love with me but you deny it.”
She moved his hand. “Nonsense.”
“You love me and I’m going make you admit it.”
“If I don’t?” she said.
“Neither of us will leave this room until you do.”
Chapter Fourteen
Getting Caroline out of all the layers of clothing women wore took some doing. Luckily Wortham had a good bit of experience with that, so eventually he had them both naked. Once he did, he pulled the covers over them and lay quietly, looking into the fire and holding Caroline against his body. After a while the tension left her and she turned her back to him, snuggling her arse against his erect cock. Another time with another woman, he’d move immediately to the next step of lovemaking. This time with this woman, he’d wait for her signal she was ready.