Roped In (Strings Book 2)

by J. C. Hayden

  “His family will never accept you.”

  My stomach plummeted, the pain her words caused like a living, breathing thing roaring to existence in the pit of my gut.

  “I’m not sure what you think is going to come of this,” she said, each word twisting the icy knife. “But eventually Jack will realize the mistake he’s made. He’ll grow out of this silly phase and realize what he has to do. He’s going to realize what’s right for himself and for his family, and when he does, you’re going to nothing but a memory. You’ll just be put into a box and shoved aside like all trash is.”

  “Get out.”

  I knew deep down that all of her words were said from hurt. Despite the curl in her lip and the disdain written all over her features, it was her cool blue eyes that betrayed her. It was sadness and despair I saw in those orbs that stopped me from moving forward and taking a swing. She wanted to call me trash? I would show her exactly what a Puerto Rican girl from Queens was capable of. Because even though I knew she was in pain and wishing things were different, I wasn’t going to let anyone talk to me that way or make me feel like that. Ever.

  “It’s time for you to go before I do something both of us might regret.”

  Rachel scoffed, but I reveled in satisfaction at the small shimmer of fear I saw skate across her pretty face.

  “Just remember what I said, Talia.” She spat my name like it was a curse. “You know Jack and you don’t fit. I think you’ve always known it.”

  “Goodbye, Rachel.”

  When she turned her back and pushed out the door, it wasn’t until I saw her turn the corner around the block that I rushed to the door, locked it, and turned to slide my back down the glass. I sat on the cool tile, put my head in my hands, and tucked my knees up to my chest as I shook. I didn’t cry—I was still too shocked—but I could hear every single one of Rachel’s words ringing in my head as I sat there and stared at a spot on the floor.

  I didn’t know what to do. I was so shaken by the encounter that I couldn’t think straight. I wanted to call Catrina and tell her what happened so we could plot our revenge like I knew she’d want to do. I wanted to go see Jack, tell him everything, and have him deal with Rachel like I knew he’d want to do. But more than anything, I wanted to forget this ever happened.

  God, why didn’t you lock the fucking door, the voice in my head snapped at me angrily.

  This entire situation was a ridiculous mess. I was still trying to deal with my own shit, and the last thing I needed was to have to deal with Rachel’s shit, too. I didn’t have to own this. I didn’t have to let her words have any impact on me or my relationship with Jack.

  No.

  Rachel’s words were about her, not about me. She didn’t know anything about my relationship or my history with Jack other than the tiny nuggets Jack had given her. She knew nothing about how we felt about each other and nothing about how Jack’s family would react.

  But when the image of Kenny’s father approaching me that day on Wall Street flashed in my mind, I couldn’t stop my brain from imagining that it was Jack’s father telling me what Kenneth Emery Sr. was implying. What Rachel had said.

  I don’t want trash around my son.

  I fought those thoughts and feelings while I swept the floor by reminding myself what Jack had said to me while we were in Vermont. He wasn’t slumming it with me. I meant something to him. I meant more to him than his fucking pedigree. I knew that. I trusted Jack, and I trusted what we had together. I had to believe in him. In us.

  An hour later, when I was finished with my sidework and was about to lock up and Jack called to say he was outside, I decided to keep the incident with Rachel to myself at least for now. I knew Jack would react poorly and it would set us back from all the progress we’d made over the last weeks we’d been together. I wanted to put it out of my mind and forget it had ever happened. I didn’t want Rachel’s hurt or my own fear that there was truth in her words color what I knew Jack and I had.

  As soon as I unlocked the front door and let Jack into Gia’s, he was grinning, and I was immediately wrapping my arms around him as he held me back just as tightly. I needed his arms around me to remind me that this was the truth.

  We kissed for a long time standing in the doorway—the doorway Rachel had stood in only an hour ago while she told me I’d never be what Jack needed. But here, in his arms, I felt like everything he wanted and needed, and he felt exactly the same for me. Eventually, he pulled away from our kiss, and I noticed how excited and giddy he looked, making thoughts of Rachel slip from my mind at least temporarily.

  “What?”

  Jack’s grin got wider as he pulled back, grabbed my hand, and walked me over to the bar. I giggled when he lifted me up, and then he sat me down on the bar, his eyes bright with some unnamed emotion. I knew something was up.

  “What happened?” I asked, holding his face in my hands as he stood between my legs, hands on my hips. “Are you okay?”

  “I… um…” Jack ran a hand down his face but then let out this small stunned giggle. “I quit my job.”

  I gasped and brought both hands to my mouth.

  “What?”

  “Yeah, I um…” He shook his head in disbelief. “A friend of mine from law school wants to expand her firm and she asked me to join her and I said yes. I gave my dad my two weeks’ notice today. My friend does criminal defense and immigration. She got a grant so she can provide free legal services to undocumented immigrants. It’s… Talia, it’s my fucking dream job.”

  I stared at him in bewilderment for a few more moments before I dragged him back to me for a hug. “Oh, my god, Jack.”

  I pushed him away and held onto his shoulders to look at him for a moment before yanking him back to me. He laughed into my neck.

  “I’m so proud of you,” I whispered into his hair. I truly was. I knew how miserable he was working for his father, and I knew how much he wanted to do something to make a difference. Several of my mom’s cousins from the Dominican Republic had been undocumented up until a few years ago, and knowing that Jack would be helping people like them made my already full chest want to burst with joy.

  We stood there wrapped in each other’s embrace for a while before Jack pulled back. He looked at me, studying my face for a long time with this look of joy and wonderment on his face.

  I tightened my legs around him. “What?” He didn’t say anything, and I grinned and nudged him. “What? Do I have something on my—”

  “I love you.”

  It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on me.

  “Wh-what?”

  “I’m in love with you, Talia.”

  No. Fuck. Not tonight. Not now. No, no, no, no, no.

  “Jack—” When I tried to squirm away he grabbed onto my biceps. Fuck, I needed to tell him about Rachel.

  “Just listen, please.”

  “Jack—”

  “You are the most important thing in my life,” he said before I could stop him. “Having you back in it has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love falling asleep next to you. I love waking up with you in my arms. You were the first person I wanted to tell about this. The only person’s opinion I cared about. I’ve loved you since I was twenty-one years old, and I’ve only just gotten the courage today to finally tell you. I love you.”

  I stared at him in shock for several moments before I pushed him away from me and jumped off the bar, Rachel’s words bouncing off the walls of my brain.

  “Eventually Jack will realize the mistake he’s made.”

  “Talia—”

  “How can you say you’ve loved me since we were twenty-one?” I said angrily when I made my way around the bar. I needed distance from him.

  “Because it’s true.”

  “How can it be? You were engaged, Jack! You can’t say you’ve loved me for almost eight years when you were engaged to be married to someone else.”

  “His family will never accept you.”


  Jack began to walk slowly around the counter, and I backed up through the restaurant, trying to maintain some space from him. His words gutted me. They scared the shit out of me, but they were also the words I’d wanted to hear for so damn long. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be loved by him, but I didn’t want to love him and then lose him if Rachel was right after all. If he ended up being like the two men who’d done the same thing. And the fear was stronger than any joy the words might have given me.

  “I never stopped thinking about you. Not once.”

  “Don’t say that.” The thrill and the terror were equal measure.

  “It was the day of our engagement party when I ended it—”

  “Jack, don’t—”

  “I woke up that morning, and instead of being excited to marry this woman who was lying in bed next to me, instead of looking forward to our party and celebrating with my friends and family, all I could think about—”

  “Please—”

  “You’ll be nothing but a memory.”

  “—was you.”

  Chapter 22

  Icouldn’t believe I was driving north on Route 2 again so shortly after my last trip.

  It was raining, and I could barely see through the water and my own tears, but Catrina’s voice over the car’s Bluetooth was calming me down.

  “You need to tell him about Rachel. You should talk to him.”

  “I can’t,” I said miserably. “I kicked him out of the restaurant and sat there and cried for an hour like a pathetic loser. I think I fucked everything up, Cat. For good this time. He won’t want me after that. I’m a mess, and he deserves better.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Thanks, Cat.”

  “But he wants you. He loves you. And you’re all twisted up about fucking Rachel.” Catrina sighed angrily. “It’s so obvious that she’s just a jealous ex trying to get her man back. Come on, Tal.”

  I knew Catrina was right, but it wasn’t just about Rachel. Of course it wasn’t. Yeah, Jack’s confession of love was epically bad timing considering what had happened earlier last night, but if I was entirely honest with myself, I would have had to admit that I probably would have freaked out whether she’d said what she said to me or not.

  Now that the fear had tamped down a bit, though, Jack’s words were beyond elating. Jack loved me. He didn’t care that I was a poor girl from Queens. He wanted me. He loved me. Me. And if what he said was true, he always had. It didn’t matter what Rachel thought or his parents or anyone in the entire goddamn world.

  “I love him.”

  Nothing changed around me when I whispered the words. The sky didn’t fall. Trees didn’t collapse onto the road in front of me. Birds didn’t suddenly drop out of the sky. The rain kept falling. The car kept moving forward. Life went on. But inside me it was like something fundamental had shifted.

  Being the woman who loved and was loved by Jack felt like everything good in the world rolled into one. Like chocolate milk, like having coffee with my mom, finding the perfect string of notes to a song that had been swirling in my head for weeks, getting the last cherry pastry at the bakery, a hot shower after a long day. It was joy and comfort and peace and rightness. It felt like the most simple and easy thing in the world, like it made the most sense of any truth I’d ever known. I loved Jack. He loved me. We loved each other. And I was fucking it all up.

  “I know,” Catrina replied gently. “I know you do.”

  The torrent of tears started again. “FUCK!” I screamed in the car.

  “Tal—”

  “I have to go,” I told Catrina abruptly. “I’m so sorry. Thanks for talking to me. I’ll be at my mom’s place soon.”

  I hung up before Catrina could respond and pounded on my steering wheel.

  I wanted to check my phone, but I didn’t want to risk it in the rain and I also knew what I would find. When I left that morning, I’d had about twenty calls and texts from Jack.

  Talia, please call me. I’m sorry I freaked you out. I didn’t mean to say it, but it came out. I know it’s too soon. I know you’re worried. Call me.

  Baby, talk to me. Please. Let’s just talk through this. I won’t take back what I said, but I won’t say it again until you’re ready to hear it if that’s what you want.

  I just need to know you’re okay. I’m starting to worry.

  Talia, seriously, are you okay? Should I send Catrina to your apartment?

  I’m not running away from this. From us. I want to be with you even if you’re scared. Even if you don’t love me. I don’t care.

  It was the last one that ripped me apart the most.

  I love you. I always will. I’m tired of pretending I don’t. Call me when you’re ready. I love you.

  It was when I got that message that I called the rental car company and left. I hadn’t planned on going to my mom’s for Thanksgiving. It was always a crazy busy time of year for her at the diner, and I was planning to go with Cat and Brody to Cat’s huge family Thanksgiving. I was even going to ask Jack if he wanted to come even though I was scared he was going to say he couldn’t because he had to be with his own family.

  Instead, I was imposing on my mom even though she said over and over that it was fine, to please come. She’d even offered to close the diner and drive down, but I refused to let her lose business because of me. Not when it was my own mess that had gotten me here.

  ◆◆◆

  The moment I trudged up the stairs that led to my mom’s house, the front door opened, and she walked out and enveloped me in a hug. The tears that had subsided came back in full force. We stood there on her porch as she held me and I sobbed into her shoulder for I don’t know how long. Eventually she was able to coax me into the house. I sat down on her plush sofa, and she put a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the coffee table with an enormous glass of chocolate milk next to it. Then she put down a glass of whiskey in the center of the table, and when I looked up at her, she just lifted one shoulder.

  “Thought we might need that.”

  Was it possible to love her even more?

  I told her everything, and she didn’t interject until I got to the part about what had happened the previous night. She let me spew all of the dumb things I’d done along with all my worries and fears, starting from when I was with Jack at Klein until now. I told her about Rachel and she cursed in Spanish for almost five full minutes before she finally let me tell her the rest. What it finally came down to was that I hated that I kept hurting Jack, hurting myself, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt so lost and helpless.

  When I confessed that I loved Jack, I started sobbing again. My mother folded me into her arms, and I cried harder. I didn’t deserve her love and comfort, but I took it anyway. The last time I’d cried like this had been over Vincent, but this time it hurt even worse and I didn’t know why.

  No, that wasn’t true.

  I knew why.

  Because this time I’d guarded my heart so closely, tried desperately to protect it, but it was cracking in my chest anyway. The barriers had been shattered along with my heart, and the ache that devastation caused was unlike anything I’d ever felt.

  After a while, I was able to calm down. My mom handed me a cookie and I managed to eat it despite how much my stomach was churning. Then my mom cracked open the whiskey bottle and we each took a large swig. The burn was soothing—calming in a way that removed the ache in my chest if only for a moment.

  Then my mom crossed her legs on the couch and faced me.

  “Tell me,” I said quietly. “Tell me how badly I’m screwing this up. Because I need to hear it.”

  “That’s not what I want to say,” she said. She looked so sad and serious. I wanted to start crying again but I barely managed to stem it as she started talking. “First, I want to tell you that nothing that woman says matters even a little.” I sniffled and she said, “No, I mean it. Imagine how you would be if you knew you lost Jack for good. Almost how you feel right now. That’s where sh
e is, and that’s the place her words come from. But that’s not important right now.” My mom sighed. “I need to apologize, mija.”

  I frowned. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

  “I do,” she said with a nod. “I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you from the pain your father caused.”

  No words she could have said would have shocked me more.

  “Ma—”

  “No, let me say this.” She took a deep breath and grabbed my hands in hers. “I let him hurt you for too long. I let him come in and out of our lives as he pleased, and I want to believe it was because I wanted you to know him, but that isn’t true. Not entirely. I wanted him near for my own selfish reasons. Because even after everything, I loved him, and even though I knew we would never truly be together, for so long I was just willing to take whatever he would give. I didn’t think about how much that would hurt you then or in the future.”

  “Ma, th-this isn’t about that.”

  “Isn’t it?” she asked softly. “He made you believe that all men would do what he did. And that stupid boy just reinforced that. Those two made you believe that men were only capable of deceit. That all they would do is leave. But that isn’t true.”

  “I—”

  “Jack is not him.” She said it firmly, like she was trying to make it really sink in. And when she repeated it, tears flooded my eyes. “Jack is not Kenny. Jack is not Vincent. Jack is Jack.” I looked down at my lap as the tears slid down my cheeks. “Talia, look at me.”

  I looked up, and when I saw my mom’s eyes were glistening, I choked out a sob.

  “Look at me and listen to me.” I nodded. “Jack is not them. Do you understand?”

  I didn’t know if I did. And if I did understand, I didn’t know if I believed it. I didn’t know if I was capable of separating all the men in my life. They would all hurt you in the end. They would use you as they pleased, and they wouldn’t think twice about it. I didn’t know if Jack would want to be with me forever. Maybe I would end up a memory, just like Rachel said. I didn’t know if he wouldn’t keep me a dirty little secret hidden away from his family the way Kenny had done to us for years. The way Vincent had done to me.