Betwixt

by Melissa Pearl

  We duck behind the bleachers and edge our way towards the school buildings. Dale checks for a clear path then sprints to the make-out alcove where many a free period has been spent by numerous couples. No one is there today and we lean against the wall as Dale catches his breath.

  "Where will Adam be?"

  Dale glances at his watch.

  "Let me think. We're not in many of the same classes, but it's... what day is it?"

  I scour my brain.

  "Friday?"

  "That's right. Friday, okay... we have Advanced English first then..." he mumbles a few more classes then stops with a nod. "Free period. I think he has free period and he usually goes to the library."

  Dale goes to make a move and I grab at his arm. He shivers and looks at me. "You'll be spotted. Wait here and I'll come back and get you."

  "It'll take too much time."

  "I don't want you to get caught. The library is right next to the quad, it's like major thoroughfare through there."

  Dale finally gives me a reluctant nod.

  "Okay, but I'm not waiting here, it's too far away. I'll hide in the resource room."

  "Yeah, I know where that is."

  We carefully make our way to the hub of the school. I pass through the library doors and quickly scan the tables. I spot Trent whispering into some redhead's ear with a seductive smile on his face. I resist the urge to punch him as I walk past. I'd much rather do that when I'm flesh and bone. If I'm going to hit him, I want it to hurt.

  There's no sign of Adam in the normal group study areas so I start systematically searching each of the aisles.

  Ten minutes later, I'm rushing out the doors with an irritated frown.

  I arrive in the resource room and gently clear my throat, so I don't surprise Dale. It doesn't really work. He still jumps and places his hand on his heart.

  "Sorry."

  "Anything?"

  "He's not in the library."

  "Shit!" Dale flicks a curl out of his face.

  "Where else does he go?"

  "I'm not sure." Dale curses again and thumps his head on the bookshelf in front of him.

  "It's okay." I touch his arm. "We'll find him." I look around me as I try and force my brain into action. "If you were Adam right now, where would you go?"

  "I just said I'm not sure."

  "But let's think about this. He's hit me with his car. He's possibly feeling guilty and his Dad is pressuring him into finishing me off."

  Dale stands up and nods as he listens to me.

  "He knows his Dad is coming to collect from school soon, so... where's a good place to hide?"

  Dale stares at the ceiling as he thinks. His head soon drops to face me and he nods.

  "I know this one room that's never really used. Mr. Attley shoves all his old computers and broken tech stuff in there. The students he likes are allowed to go and potter in there during their free periods. I'm pretty sure Adam's on his list."

  "It's worth a shot."

  We start running, heading down a flight of stairs and through a rabbit warren of corridors.

  "How do you even know about this room?"

  Dale slows to a stop outside the door.

  "Mr. Attley told me about it."

  "Kiss ass."

  He gives me a dry look and opens the door.

  We creep inside. The room is crowded and dusty. Computer monitors and keyboards are piled in disarray along the counters. Various cables hang from nails along the wall and scattered along the centre table are a plethora of technical gadgets. Obviously students have been taking parts from different devices and trying to turn them into something new. I squint at a digital camera attached to the bottom half of a remote control car.

  Hmmm. Images of it sneaking into the girls' locker room make me frown.

  Nerdy boys.

  Dale flicks the lights on as I move further into the room. There doesn't seem to be any sign of human activity. Dale throws me an annoyed look and I'm sure he's about to swear when we hear a soft tink from the back of the room.

  "Hello?" Dale calls.

  There's a pregnant pause as we inch further into the room.

  Finally someone clears their throat and peers around the corner.

  "Oh hey, man. How's it going?"

  Dale's face is etched with disappointment as he approaches the giant blond hiding behind a mound of technical books.

  "Hey, Adam."

  I watch his face with concern. He so does not want to have this conversation right now. He shoves his hands in his pockets and stops next to his friend.

  "What are you doing down here?" Adam glances up from the open laptop. The keyboard is removed exposing all the chips and wiring that make it tick.

  "We need to talk, man."

  Adam looks away. I notice how pale he is. The dark circles beneath his eyes make him look like he's been in a bar fight.

  "What's up?" he finally mutters.

  Dale's face bunches with pain.

  "Where's Nicole?"

  Adam picks up a miniature screw driver and continues tinkering.

  "How should I know?"

  "Adam, don't lie to me."

  Fast breaths spurt through Adam's nostrils as he shakes his head. My stomach coils. He's not going to tell us. He's going to deny everything and then his Dad will arrive and arrest Dale all over again.

  "Come on. Please, I need to find her."

  Another head shake.

  "I don't know what you're talking about. Look the girl's an unpredictable basket case. She could be anywhere."

  Dale's eyes darken with rage and from out of nowhere, he turns all Hulk on everybody. Letting out a loud cry, he grabs Adam's collar and pushes him until he's fallen flat on his back. Dale's muscles are bulging, the tendon in his neck looking ready to snap as he digs his knee into Adam's chest.

  "Where is she?!"

  "I don't know, man. She ran away." Adam's voice is quivering, his eyes wide with fear.

  Dale punches him square in the face, leaving behind a burning red mark.

  "I know it was you. I saw your car. Now tell me where she is!"

  Adam's bottom lip begins to wobble and his voice breaks as tears bubble up from nowhere.

  "I didn't mean to do it. I was tired of all the pressure. I needed a night off." He sniffs. "I wasn't supposed to be out and I was rushing to get home, but I'd had a few drinks. She came out of nowhere, man. I didn't mean to hit her, but it's like my arms were made of lead. By the time I saw her, it was too late..." He pulls in a ragged breath. "And now she's dead. I killed her."

  Watching him is pitiful. Dale slowly stands and steps back. Adam sits up and wipes his nose with his finger.

  "She's not dead."

  "You don't know that."

  "Yes I do. We need to find her. I need you to take me to her."

  Adam stands on shaky legs and rubs his swollen cheek. Fear is oozing from his very pores.

  "I can't. I can't do it."

  "Look, I know what your Dad's expecting of you, but you don't have to."

  "How do you know that?" Adam's brows dip together.

  Dale shakes his head.

  "It doesn't matter right now, okay? We're running out of time." Stepping forward, he grabs Adam's collar. "You don't have to be a killer, Hutton. Now get moving before I have to drag you to the car."

  Adam shakes himself loose and gives a small nod. With jittery hands he grabs his backpack and slings it over his shoulder. His knuckles are white as he grips the strap. I watch his freshly bruised face twitch and my insides spark with foreboding.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  As we race through the back of the school and jump into the grey hunk of junk, my nerves begin to twitter. I feel like my blood is beginning to run with ice cold water and I can't seem to stop shaking. I don't want to say anything to Dale. He has enough to worry about with fobbing off Adam's questions of where he got the car.

  A police siren wails in the distance and I jerk to see if it's right behin
d us. Turning back around, I slump down in the back seat and close my eyes. He shouldn't be doing this for me. It's too much risk.

  I could argue until my brain explodes, but I keep coming back to the same point. In order to prove his innocence he's got to find me... but he doesn't have to save me... and maybe he shouldn't.

  I look at his beautiful face in the rearview mirror. His eyes are dark with concentration. I can see worry skirting around the edges of his expression as he glances into the mirror and catches my eye... not that he knows it. I bite my lip and blink at tears.

  "Where are you going? I said Artic Canyon Road. You're going the wrong way."

  "I just need to get something from my house."

  "Are you crazy?" I lean forward. "You might get caught."

  "I need Jester," he fires into the back.

  "I didn't know your dog could find people."

  "Me neither," Dale mutters, "but I think he knows Nicole."

  "How?"

  Dale ignores Adam's question as he screeches to a stop outside his place. Taking a minute to assess the house, he lets out a breath. "Well, Mom's car isn't here. Let's hope she's not home."

  Glancing over his shoulder, Dale jumps out of the car and runs around the back of the property. Adam and I wait in agitated silence. I can see his hand hovering near the door handle.

  "Don't even think about it."

  He looks out the window, one hand gripping the edge of his bag until I think his fingers might puncture the material, while the other hand taps the door handle. I watch in agony as his mind ticks over in slow motion, eventually he lets out a sigh and leans back in his seat as Dale runs towards the car with Jester in tow.

  I shuffle to the far side of the seat as Jester clambers in next to me. He starts barking and trying to lick my face.

  "Stop it!" I push him away and he lets out a little whine.

  "Your dog is nuts, man." Adam watches Jester with a frown.

  Dale lets out a nervous laugh as he pulls back onto the road and races towards the San Bernardino National Forest.

  It takes about thirty minutes to reach Artic Canyon Road. I spent most of the trip staring out the back window, expecting to see cops on our tail at any moment. If I was in human form, I'd probably be sweating blood right now. I can no longer control my limbs, they are shaking with a cold that seems to be seeping into my very core.

  I want to mutter that I'm cold. I know that will make Dale hurry. I know it will help him to look harder, fight harder and make sure I survive this, but he doesn't know the truth.

  He should.

  He needs to.

  He can't put his life on the line for my sake.

  Would he still be risking all this if he knew?

  He'd find me either way now. They'd search. Jester would smell my body and he'd prove his innocence. I didn't need to be alive to vindicate him.

  "Here." Adam indicates for Dale to pull over.

  We get out of the car. I notice Adam hesitate by the door. He reaches for his bag, but after a sharp look from Dale decides to leave it in the car.

  I glance past him at the surrounding area and frown.

  "This doesn't even look familiar," I whisper.

  "It's day time."

  Adam looks at Dale weirdly. He clears his throat and points to the guardrail. It's dented and blue smears of paint are running across it. "You must have hit her here."

  Adam blanches and steps away, looking skittish.

  Returning to the car, Dale frees a barking Jester.

  "Where are you?" He looks up for me as Adam glances behind him, looking totally freaked out by Dale's strange behavior.

  "I'm by the front passenger door."

  Dale leads his dog to me and stands patiently as Jester thoroughly sniffs my ankles, all the way up to my crotch.

  "Hey!" I slap at his nose.

  Dale bites back a smile.

  "C'mere Jess." He tugs the leash and makes the dog sit as his feet. Bending down, he rubs Jester's ears while looking at his eyes. "I need you to find her for me. You just follow that smell, okay boy?"

  Jester barks. I want to tell Dale this is so not going to work, but bite my tongue. He doesn't need my standard negativity right now. Looking just a touch nervous, Dale unhooks Jester's leash and steps back.

  "Go hunting, boy. Go on."

  He points to the embankment and Jester does a flying leap over the guardrail. He has got to be the only one enjoying this right now.

  I wrap my arms around myself, trying to stave off the cold as Dale cautiously climbs over the guardrail. He stops and looks back at his quiet friend.

  "Let's go."

  The giant blond suddenly seems small as he scratches his neck and runs a hand through his hair. "I don't want to, man."

  Dale's face turns a dark shade of black.

  "Get your butt over here, Hutton."

  I wouldn't argue with that tone of voice either. I nibble on my pinky nail as I watch the exchange. After what seems an age of stony silence, Adam raises his leg and joins Dale on the other side.

  The loose debris is slippery beneath their feet as they half walk, half slide down the embankment. Dale catches his balance against a tall tree.

  "Any of this look familiar?"

  Adam shrugs, looking annoyed. "It was dark, man."

  I reply, "It all looks the same. I'm not sure how far down I am."

  Dale nods and continues edging his way down the slope. Adam's reluctance to follow is irritating, but it can't beat the feeling swamping me.

  The thought drums in my brain until my head is hurting with the effort.

  He can't find me until he knows.

  I grip my temple and want to whimper. Squeezing my eyes shut, I take a quick breath and yell. "Stop!"

  Dale nearly lands on his backside, but he manages to catch himself on a branch and stand straight. He looks back towards me, anxious after my sudden outburst.

  I make my way towards him, hating myself and this moment.

  "I can't let you do this." I stop by his side and touch his arm. "You have to know."

  "Know what?"

  "What you're trying to save."

  "Nicole, I told you I don't care about your past."

  Adam glances back at Dale.

  "What'd you say?"

  "Uh... I'm just going to check over here, make sure we're covering everywhere. You keep following Jester."

  Adam gives an unenthusiastic nod and keeps descending the hill.

  I look back to Dale and swallow.

  "I know you say you don't care, but I can't let you put all this on the line for me. I honestly don't deserve it."

  He looks a little annoyed that I won't let this go.

  "What, Nicole? What did you do that was so terrible?"

  Holding my breath, I count to five then release it in a gush. The words tumble out of me, small and pathetic.

  "I killed my sister."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Dale's skin is white, his eyes wide with horror.

  I knew he'd change his mind.

  "Just call Jester back. You don't have to keep looking for me."

  Dale's blink is slow and forced, but when his eyes pop open they have lost their 'deer in front of headlights’ quality.

  "Where are you standing? I want to look at you for this."

  "I'm at your three."

  In slow motion, he turns to face me. I gaze at his scar, something that should be so ugly and marring, instead I want to touch it, to run my finger along its smooth edge. I make fists with my hands and look to the ground.

  "You need to listen to me very carefully." Dale's voice is slow and controlled. "You did not kill your sister. She fell. It was an accident."

  Bubbles rush up inside me; they are filled with guilt and regret. I bend over as the agony makes my chest want to rip apart.

  "You don't understand. I was supposed to be watching her. She was my responsibility." I draw in a ragged breath. "She was such a cool kid. So sweet and adorable, ev
erybody loved her." I swipe at the fresh tears swarming my cheeks and stand up, forcing myself to get through this. "Usually when mom and dad went out we played and danced or made up games, but I didn't want to that day. I was annoyed that I had to look after her and everything she was doing just irritated me.

  "I eventually got so mad that I dragged her outside and locked the door."

  My voice was starting to break, making it hard to continue. I sniffed loudly, my stomach jolting with sobs.

  "I went to my room to keep working on my latest cover design. I heard Jody calling, but I ignored her. She was just trying to get my attention. She was shouting for help and I kept thinking, 'Yeah, whatever, Jo. Cry wolf all you like.'"

  My body is shaking as I force out the rest of the story.

  "Then she screamed. She sounded so scared and I jumped up and ran to the sliding door in the living room. She was dangling from one of the branches of this really tall pine tree. The one we weren't allowed to climb. The one I had secretly taught her how to climb."

  I cover my mouth with my hand then sniff.

  "She looked towards me, Dale, and I swear our eyes met for a second before her little fingers slipped. The last thing I heard was her screaming my name then this... thud."

  Dale's face is etched with agony as I glance at him. I close my eyes and look away.

  "I ran out to her. She was lying on the ground all broken like a little bird and there was blood oozing out all over the ground, soaking into her hair." I fall to my knees as the image crystallizes in my brain. I force myself to gaze upon her lifeless face.

  "You've never told anyone this before, have you?"

  "No." My voice is so small, emotion robbing it of any volume.

  "Nicole." Dale bends down in front of me, somehow sensing I'm now on the ground. "I know you think you don't deserve any other chances, but I refuse to believe I can hear you, unless you are meant to live. You have to fight."

  "For what?"

  I look up at him, images of my current life flashing through my head like flying photographs.

  "The right to correct your mistakes."

  "I can't fix this one. I can't bring her back." I jump up and move away from him.

  "I know," his voice is soft, "but you don't deserve to die."

  "Neither did Jody." I spin around and look at his crouched form. "She was such a good kid, pure and sweet. I was always the trouble maker; it was me who deserved to fall out of that tree."