“But I could live here.”
“Be serious, Emily. You know you can’t. Come here.”
He sat down and pulled her down with him and put his arms around her. He bent his head to kiss her, and she hesitated just for a second. But he caught the hesitation and looked at her curiously.
“What’s wrong? Have you already stopped enjoying my kisses?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I was just a little scared, I guess.”
“Scared? I’m sorry. I know the things I told you about my energy are a little scary. But I won’t hurt you. I’m going to stay in control. I couldn’t bear it if you were afraid of me.”
She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him softly. Her tongue brushed his lips and he thrust his tongue in her mouth tasting the inside of her cheeks and the roof of her mouth. Their tongues danced together in a ritual as old as time. His arms were tight around her, but he was careful how he touched her. She was aching with desire, longing for his hands and his mouth on her body. But she had enough fear not to try to entice him into doing anything that would be dangerous to her life.
He lay down on the blanket and she lay down beside him. He was on his back and she snuggled up against him and stroked his chest. Then she moved her hand down and started rubbing his flat, hard stomach. She felt the muscles tighten as his breath seemed to catch in his throat.
“Be careful,” he warned, his voice husky with desire.
She moved her hand back up to his chest and he laid his hand on top of hers.
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you, too,” said Patrick. “More than you can ever imagine.”
“I think it would be worth dying for just to make love to you one time,” said Emily with a sigh.
“I asked you not to say things like that, Emily. Please don’t.”
“I’m sorry. You just don’t know…”
He sat up. “I don’t know? You think I don’t know? Do you not know how tempted I am just to throw caution to the wind and just let go? Just to make love to you and let what happen just happen. To lose myself in your arms and forget about the consequences! Do you have any idea how hard it is to hold myself back from loving you the way I want to? So how can you say I don’t know?”
Stunned by his outburst, tears began to run down her face and she stood up and buried her face in his chest.
“I’m sorry, Patrick, please forgive me. I didn’t mean to upset you. I know you feel the same way I do. It’s just so frustrating!”
“I know it is. I know, Love.”
He stroked her hair and her back gently. She held onto him tightly. Then he drew away from her. He seemed to do that a lot.
“Let’s sit down,” he said.
They sat back down on the blanket, their backs against the cave wall. He had brought some pillows that they could use to put between them and the wall to keep the chill off of them.
Patrick entwined his fingers in hers. It felt good sitting in front of the warm fire just holding hands with this man whom she loved so dearly. She could stay here beside him forever.
“Patrick, I need to ask you something. I know this might be painful for you, but I have to know some things. I hope you don’t think that I’m prying into things that are none of my business.”
“Emily, nothing is secret from you now. I would tell you anything you wanted to know if I could. Ask anything of me.”
“It’s about that time, 150 years ago. I know you were betrayed by your fiancée. I would like to know everything that happened. I want to know everything about you. The things that made you happy. The things that hurt you. I would like to know what happened between you and your fiancée. And what happened when….you know.”
“When I died?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
Patrick looked thoughtful for a minute, staring ahead as if he was reliving another time. Then he turned to her, his eyes full of an emotion she wasn’t quite sure she could identify.
“It’s a very long story, Emily. Are you sure you want to hear it?”
“Yes, I want to hear every word. I want to know you as intimately as I possibly can. I want to know why you are still here. I want to know about the woman who hurt you so badly.”
“Alright, my love. I will tell you everything. It’s a sordid story, believe me. You are not going to believe how my fiancée betrayed me and with whom. It’s pretty shocking.”
“I don’t care. I want to hear it”
“Alright, I will tell you. This is my story.”
Chapter Twenty Five
“When I was 25 years old, I met the daughter of a friend of my father’s. Both of our families wanted us to marry since the two families had been friends for many years. We started spending a lot of time together and we fell in love. We were engaged for five years. During that time, we spent a lot of time at each other’s homes. The two houses were miles away, so when one of us came to visit the other, we usually stayed at least two weeks. Sometimes some of our family members would go with us.
“My fiancée’s name was Bridgett. She was very beautiful, as you well know since you have seen her portrait. She and my sister became very good friends, and my sister’s beau started spending time with us, too. The four of us had so much fun together. We were great friends.
“Pretty soon, Bridgett and I started sleeping together. That kind of thing wasn’t as common as it is now, but it certainly wasn’t unheard of. We were to be married, after all, so we didn’t feel too guilty about it. The more time I spent with her, the more I loved her. I thought she was an angel, a dream come true.
“About six months before I died, Bridgett started acting differently. She started having problems looking me in the eye. She found excuses not to spend time with me. I asked her what was wrong and she just laughed and said I was imagining things. When we were in bed together, she seemed to be distracted, as if she were thinking about something else, or maybe someone else. She started wanting me to do different things when we were making love; our usual lovemaking didn’t seem to satisfy her anymore. Some of the things that people do now weren’t as common back then. I was naïve and knew very little about lovemaking. Bridgett was my first lover and I wanted to please her. I found that I enjoyed the things that she wanted me to do, but I started wondering where she had learned about these things. I asked her and she said she just had a good imagination.
“As young and naïve as I was, I still had enough sense to know something wasn’t right. I started suspecting that she was seeing someone else. I was sick about it. But I didn’t know how to confront her. So many times, I started to ask her about it, but I was afraid that if everything was brought out in the open, she would leave me. The thought of that terrified me because I loved her to the point of obsession.
“I finally decided to try to catch her with this person. I began to wonder if it was my sister’s fiancée that Bridgett was seeing. I started watching them when we were all together, but I didn’t really sense anything between them. But who else could it possibly be? I was determined to find out.
“One night, when Bridgett was staying at my house, I was having trouble sleeping. I had wanted to come to her room that night, but she had begged off, complaining of a headache. In fact, she had gone to bed early, right after dinner. I was lying there in bed, thinking about her and wanting to get up and go to her. I heard a door creak open down the hall and soft footsteps coming toward my room. Then the footsteps stopped at another door. I heard that door open and close softly. I couldn’t tell which room the footsteps came from or which room they entered. So I crept out of my room and listened for any noises.
“When I reached Bridgett’s room, I heard voices. One of the voices was a man’s voice. I heard him murmuring softly, but I couldn’t make out any of the words. Then there was moaning, and soft cries that I knew was Bridgett’s voice. Well, you get the picture. I knew that someone was in my fiancée’s room making love with the woman I was supposed to marry.
&n
bsp; “I was furious. In my rage, I crashed into the door and broke the lock. I rushed into the room, ready to beat this man to a pulp. I was pretty sure it was my sister’s fiancée. When I saw who was in the bed with Bridgett, the shock I felt was more than I could bear. There, on the bed, were two bodies writhing together. My fiancée and my father were in each other’s arms, doing unspeakable things. I stood there like a statue, not able to move or say anything.
“Bridgett screamed and they both tried to cover themselves with the sheet. Both of their faces had gone pale and I’m sure mine was the same. Finally, the spell was broken and I was able to move. I didn’t say a word. I just turned around and left the room.
“I can’t describe to you how I felt at that moment. My world had been shattered into a million pieces and I knew that nothing could ever put that world back together. I told you before about how naïve I was. I saw then the reason Bridgett had been able to teach me new things. She had learned everything from a much more experienced lover. I didn’t know what to do. I was so devastated that I couldn’t even think.
“I rushed down here and paced back and forth by the water. I had always liked to come down here to think. My mind couldn’t comprehend what I had seen. A part of me wanted to jump into that cold water and end my life right there. Then I saw Bridgett coming down the path. I really didn’t want to see her yet. I needed to think first, but there she was.
“She was crying and begging me to forgive her. She said that she really loved me and that my father had seduced her and that she couldn’t resist. I told her that if this had been going on for six months, then obviously she had made the choice to continue the relationship. We argued for a long time with her crying and me shouting. Then things started getting physical between us. I don’t mean sex, I mean fighting. And then….the next thing I knew, I was in this world as a spirit being. To this day, I don’t know if my death was an accident or if she killed me on purpose.”
Emily stared at him, stunned at the story he had just told her. She was almost shaking with anger at what the people he loved had done to him. She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. Then she gathered him into her arms as if he was a little boy and she was the adult. She stroked his hair softly.
“I can’t believe what happened to you,” she murmured softly against his ear. “I don’t understand how that woman could have betrayed you like that. And with your own father. I have to say, I’m shocked at who the lover was. I would never have believed it could be your father.”
Patrick raised his head to look at her. There were tears glistening in his eyes, and the pain was there, even after all these years.
“You can’t imagine the hurt I felt when I saw those two together. I could almost have stood it if it had been my sister’s fiancée who replaced me. I had suspected that. But my own father!”
Emily sighed. “Who knows what causes people to make the choices that they make. It wasn’t anything that you did wrong. It was all about what they wanted. Maybe your father did seduce your fiancée. Maybe Bridgett didn’t ever think she would do what she did. But it happened and we can’t change it. What we do need to do is find out how you were killed. If it was an accident or a murder. I think that’s the only way you will ever go home to your eternal rest.”
“But how? I can’t remember. Or maybe I never really knew. How am I going to ever find out?”
“I have some ideas about how I can help you. But please don’t make me talk about that tonight. I want to be with you a little while longer. It will be so hard to lose you if we are able to send you home.”
“It may be hard at first, but things would get better in time. And I’ve told you before…you need to find happiness with a real man who can give you a family. Something I will never be able to do.”
“You are the only man I want, Patrick. I need you. I have never felt this way before. I lost my husband and that was hard to get over. And as much as I loved him, that feeling pales compared to what I feel for you. How am I going to possibly cope with losing you?”
“Like you said, let’s not talk about it. We are both here now. Let’s make the best of what we have tonight and let tomorrow take care of itself.”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
He kissed her long and deep, his hands running up and down her back. He was careful about how he touched her, remembering what had happened once before. It would be easy to let their passion run wild and then he would lose control. He couldn’t risk Emily’s life, so he summoned every bit of will power he possessed.
Emily moaned softly. “I love kissing you. I wish you could make love to me. I wish we could get married and have a normal relationship. Are you sure there is no way?”
“I’m sure. It’s all I can do to stay in control of myself.”
He touched her breast lightly and she shuddered with pleasure, but then he moved his hand back down to her waist. She uttered a cry of protest and he smiled wryly.
“I can’t touch you too long. I would go nuts and you would be dead. That’s something I’m definitely trying to avoid.”
She smiled at him. “You’re so serious most of the time, but then every now and then a little humor will creep in.”
“I didn’t use to be this serious. I was always laughing and having a good time. I loved life. But when bad things happen to you there is a tendency to lose that happy go lucky attitude.”
“Patrick, I’m really sorry that you had to go through that. Then you died before you could get anything resolved between you. There was no closure. And then to not even know how you died! I can’t imagine how that would feel.”
“It was hard. And I have been roaming around here for 150 years. But one good thing came out of it. I met you. That is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It took me 150 years to find the woman that I love more than anything in this world.”
He kissed her softly on the lips, then let his mouth trail down her cheek and to her neck. He bit her softly then let his tongue trace a path down to her shoulder. He nibbled on her skin lightly. Then he raised his head back up to look at her with his beautiful sapphire eyes.
“I love you,” he whispered softly.
They lay there holding each other and kissing, being careful not to get too carried away. Emily thought about how unfair this was, not being able to love each other like they wanted to. After awhile, Patrick stood up and took her hand, pulling her to her feet.
He smiled at her tenderly. “Time to go, my sweet. I can’t stand much more.”
Emily smiled. “I’m glad I have that effect on you. But I guess you’re right. I need to get back. It’s just so hard to leave you!”
“And to leave me hard,” he said, grinning wickedly.
“See, you do have a sense of humor at times!”
They walked back to the garden and he kissed her goodnight. They parted reluctantly, promising to see each other the next day.
Chapter Twenty Six
The next day, Emily went down to work out just as Jamie was finishing up. It was Saturday and she didn’t have to work in the office.
“Hey, there. You’re a little bit late this morning. Late night again?” asked Jamie.
“Don’t start with me, Jamie,” warned Emily.
“Hey, I’m just making conversation. I’m not giving you a hard time.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just a little jumpy this morning. I didn’t sleep well.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
Emily said, “No, I just need to get a good workout in. I’ll feel better afterwards.”
Jamie left her to her workout then. Emily worked harder than usual. By the time she was finished, she was sweaty, wisps of her hair sticking to her forehead. She was getting a diet soft drink out of the small refrigerator when she heard someone come down the stairs.
“There’s nothing sexier than a sweaty woman.”
She turned and saw Sam standing there looking at her in amusement.
“You think all women are s
exy, Sam.”
“Not true!” he protested.
She laughed and threw her towel at him.
“You are getting good at throwing things at me. First a roll, then a towel.”
“You just bring out the athlete in me. So, Sam, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company? You rarely venture down here. It amazes me how fit you seem to be when I never see you do a thing to cause it.”
“Good genes,” he said with a grin. “The reason I’m down here is because Rebecca told me to come down and tell you that she and I are both supposed to speak at a Reader’s Guild meeting tonight. She said the whole family is expected to be there and that includes you.”
Emily had a moment of panic. She was supposed to see Patrick tonight! How was she going to do both?
“That sure is short notice. What time is this meeting?”
“Well, there will be a dinner at 7:00. Then I will speak at 8:30 and Rebecca will speak at about 9:00. After that, there will be a little socializing. It will probably be a late night.”
“I guess I have to go, don’t I?”
Jamie grinned. “If you want to stay in good standing with your boss, I suggest you go.”
“Ok, what time will we be leaving?”
“We’ll leave at 6:30. You certainly don’t want to miss my lecture. I’m so good, I can’t stand myself.”
“I can’t stand you either.”
Sam threw the towel back at her and went up the stairs. Emily sighed. She had planned to spend time with Patrick tonight. She would have to let him know she wouldn’t be able to see him tonight. She was disappointed, but she realized that even though Patrick was a big part of her life, he wasn’t the only thing in her life. Although, right now, it felt that way.
* * *
Emily went into town and did a little shopping. She decided, since she was out, that she would go see Sarah Stone for a little while. She noticed when she arrived at her house that Jarrod’s blue Chevy was parked in the driveway. She smiled. Maybe she shouldn’t stop by right now.
A Rocky Path Page 13