Circles the Trilogy (Secrets and Lies)

by Carla Buchanan

  We spend the next hour eating and chatting about Daryn’s promotion, politics, the weather, and of course the engagement party. Ella reminds me that I should be expecting a call from the dress designer and her personal trainer. I keep a straight face and politely thank her for all the hard work she is putting in, in regards to the engagement party and the wedding. She beams as I compliment her on how sure I am that with her and my mother working on the events, I have no doubt they will be spectacular. I’m actually being honest even though I’m not so sure how much I want the events to happen.

  Daryn and the Judge lead us out of the club when we’re done with brunch. They walk in front of me and his mother and they discuss the golf game from the previous day while Ella chooses this time to pounce.

  “Darling I have to say that color green looks lovely on you, but you probably shouldn’t wear cream or white on your lower half until you’ve met with Landon a few times. You know how Daryn feels about that area, so you probably should downplay it until we can shrink it a little.”

  I’m scared that I may spout a few unladylike words so I smile and nod. I took great care in choosing this mint green spaghetti strapped tank and full pleated skirt in cream, thinking that it hides my round butt and accentuates my small waist perfectly. But here she is bringing up what she and Daryn feel are my faults as well as that damn personal trainer of hers. I’m ready to explode but I know she can’t help herself so instead I hug her before getting into Daryn’s Mercedes.

  Though I’ve held my tongue, I can no longer do it any longer. “Daryn? Was it really necessary for you to tell your mother your that you don’t like my ass? I mean, really…Is that a conversation for a son to have with his mother? Every time she sees me now, she makes a comment on my clothing or mentions the need for me to see her personal trainer.”

  He glances over at me. His face is without a trace of emotion when he says, “Honey you know you’re a stunning woman, but it might do you some good to at least give the personal trainer a try. I’m sorry if she keeps bringing it up, but she knows it’s something that will make me happy. I don’t see what the problem is. What woman wouldn’t want to have their own personal trainer?”

  “Me, Daryn! I put in plenty of hours at the gym and some women would kill for a figure like mine. I have a very nice ass, Daryn! I really don’t get this fascination you have with flat asses!” I’m livid and that is clear since I’ve started cursing.

  “Your language, Sasha! That is very unladylike! Is this what happens after one trip to a club with Neesa? You need to get control of yourself. I can’t deal with you when you behave this way,” he says with an air of superiority.

  I want to release a string of curses. He has the nerve to scold me like I’m a child and he didn’t even acknowledge what I said. The man is impossible! Why am I just now noticing this? Has he always been this way or am I nitpicking and looking for things to be wrong with him because of my feelings for Quin? I must be going crazy.

  “Can you please just take me home, Daryn? I think I just need some rest. All of a sudden I’m not feeling very well.”

  “I think maybe you should come home with me. You should probably spend some time away from Neesa. It seems she is having some sort of negative influence over you these days and I don’t like it at all. My house is closer anyway.”

  We make a few more turns and I don’t argue anymore because I know he won’t listen. We pull into his neighborhood which is an area that has recently been constructed. It’s an experimental subdivision that has brought condo living and placed it within a golf course community. The condo’s look like small houses, but still have all the amenities of condo living. There are people who take care of the maintenance and aesthetics of the community and there is also a full-service concierge office.

  Daryn chose to move in here because the payment he makes every month includes memberships to three local country clubs and gives him and his guest’s access to the community golf courses. He only recently moved here, but he has promised me that we’ll be moving into our own house when we’re married.

  Once we’re inside Daryn’s condo I tell him that I’m going to lie down. I’m mentally exhausted and want to be alone with my thoughts. I don’t get far when Daryn grabs my hand. He pulls me into his chest and places a hand on my head. “You’re a little warm,” he says. “Do you need me to get you anything? I should’ve known you were sick or you would never have talked to me the way you did in the car.”

  “No, Daryn, I’ll be fine. I have a headache and my stomach feels a little queasy. Probably the smoothie I had for breakfast.” I roll my eyes as I pull away and head to his en suite to remove my makeup and slip into something more comfortable. Daryn comes into the bedroom about thirty minutes later. I must’ve fallen asleep because I look up to see that he has changed clothes and he’s now staring at me. “What? Is there something wrong?”

  “No, I just want to see if you’re feeling better. I brought you a Ginger Ale for your stomach.” I smile. I’m so happy when Daryn does things like this. He can be such an ass at times, but then he can be so sweet too. I wish he could be this Daryn all of the time.

  I come to the conclusion that maybe my association with Quin has made me focus on the negative aspects of Daryn’s personality. I need to try harder to understand the pressure he is under to do well at the firm. He wants to take care of me and the least I can do is not give him an attitude when all he wants is the best for me. “You look like an angel lying there with your hair fanned out all over the pillow. Only I don’t think angels snore.”

  “Oh my goodness, Daryn. I do not snore!” I’m smiling now. He’s joking and laughing and I can’t help but feel a very guilty about kissing Quin. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have given you a hard time about the whole personal trainer thing.”

  “Honey it’s okay. But I do want to ask you something.”

  I sit up because his face has turned from smiling to concern. I feel dizzy. I probably shouldn’t have had those two mimosas with brunch. “Hold on, sweetie.” I run into the en suite and discard the contents of my stomach, including the smoothie I had for breakfast. Daryn follows me into the bathroom and helps me by holding my hair and rubbing my back. “Thank you Daryn.”

  “Sasha, I may be hard on you sometimes, but I would never abandon my sick fiancée. Do you need me to do anything else?” He hands me some tissue that I use to wipe my mouth and then I flush the toilet.

  “Yes, can you get a band for my hair out of the drawer?”

  He retrieves the band and while I pull my hair into a ponytail, he pours a little mouthwash in a small cup. Once my mouth is feeling less like a garbage can, I pad into the room and flop down on the bed, unsure of what just happened. Daryn emerges from the bathroom a minute or two later with a damp towel and places it on the back of my neck.

  “Do you think you need to schedule an appointment with your doctor, Sasha?”

  I give him a confused look. “What do you think is wrong with me, Daryn? This is just a stomach bug or something.” I know what he is trying to say, but I wish he would just come out and say it.

  “Sasha. You’ve been a little off lately and now you’re throwing up. I know you’ve been taking your pills, but are you sure you’re not pregnant? Please don’t think you can’t tell me because I’d be very happy. It just means that we’ll have to move the wedding up.”

  “What?! No!” I jump up, throwing the towel to the bed and run to get my iPhone from my purse. I pull up the app that I use to track my cycle and see that I’m over a week late. With the proposal and fuss over the engagement, I hadn’t even paid attention. “No, no, no, no,” I find myself chanting.

  “It’ll be okay, honey. We’re not children. Your parents will understand. I’m sure they’re quite aware that we’re having sex. I’m a healthy thirty-five year old man who has needs. Your father knows that,” Daryn comforts me by saying. Though to me it doesn’t sound so comforting. I’m pretty sure that I’m not pregnant. I am sure that I wou
ld know if I was. Wouldn’t I?

  I start to bawl. Full-on body-shaking sobs take over my body. I bury my face in Daryn’s chest. “Daryn, I can’t be pregnant,” I say in a shaky voice. “I just can’t be! I’ve never missed a pill… Never!”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll call into your office for you in the morning and tell them that you aren’t coming in. Then I’ll call my mother and get the name of that doctor she –”

  “No!” I practically scream this at Daryn. “Please don’t tell your mother until we know for sure. There is no need to get anyone else involved if we don’t have to. Please, Daryn.”

  “Okay. But if you are…I want to call her as soon as we leave the doctor.”

  “We? You don’t have to go. I’ll just make an emergency appointment and come by your office when I’m done.” I don’t think I could handle having him there with me. He’ll be so happy if he finds out I am pregnant and I don’t think I’ll be able to hide my disappointment. I’ll have to call Neesa and have her go with me.

  “I understand, but don’t call me with the news. Make sure you come by the office. Honey, we may be parents soon! Do you realize what a new wife and child will do for my status at the firm? Peter loves the whole idea of his employees having families. He says it makes us look more stable and people are better able to trust us with their money. Honey can you believe this? It’s all working out!” Daryn leaves the room beaming at his possible good fortune. I know he isn’t going to wait to tell his mother, but I can’t deal with that right now.

  I think I feel sick again and it has nothing to do with the fact that I might be pregnant. Daryn wants me to be pregnant so he’ll look more stable in the eyes of Peter Harris. This is completely ridiculous. I pick up my phone and send out a quick text to Neesa.

  Me: I think I may be pregnant.

  Less than a minute later I receive a text back from her.

  Neesa: WTF! You need to call me. RIGHT NOW!

  Me: Can’t right now. Will explain in the morning. Go with me to the doctor in the morning?

  Neesa: Of course. See you in the morning.

  Six - Explanations

  By the time Neesa and I reach my doctor’s office the next morning, I’m a complete mess. I almost cursed out the woman who does the scheduling because she doesn’t want to fit me in saying that a potential pregnancy is not an emergency and on top of that, I’ve been throwing up all morning.

  I do want children, but until I figure out some things, it wouldn’t be a good idea to bring a child into this relationship. After what he said was his reasoning for being excited, I’m sure that I don’t want a child with Daryn. I’m almost at the point where I’m sure that I don’t want to be with him anymore. Lately every decision he makes is based on whether or not it will be a good career move and I’m tired of it. I still don’t know if I’ll be able to end things with him, but knowing that I’m not pregnant will be a great weight off my shoulders.

  After an hour of being poked and prodded at the doctor’s office, I find out that I’m definitely not pregnant. The doctor attributes my symptoms to a combination of stress and something I’ve eaten and tells me that I need to probably take a few days off and stay away from anyone or any situation that may cause me stress. He decides to change my pill since I shouldn’t have missed my period if I was taking my pills like I’m supposed to do. I say okay, but in the back of my mind I laugh because the only way for me to avoid the stress is to lock myself in my room for the next few days.

  “This is good news, right?” Neesa asks me this as we drive over to her office. I know I’m supposed to go give Daryn the news, but I assume he only wanted to see me in person if the doctor gave me positive results to the tests he ran. Instead, I take the cowards way out and send him a text telling him the news and then I turn off my phone. I tell him that I’ll call later with more details.

  “Very good news, Neesa. You don’t even know how good. So why are we going to your office anyway? I thought you said you took the morning off.” I look over at her and wait for her to answer, but her face turns a bright shade of red. She only turns red when she is embarrassed or lying so I’m sure that whatever she is about to say is going to be a lie.

  “Um… I need to pick up something. It’ll only take a few minutes. Then we can decide where to go for lunch.”

  “Aneesa Renee Johnson, don’t you dare lie to me. Your face looks like a tomato so I know you’re lying. What have you done? I knew you were full of it when you said I needed to look nice because we were going to lunch after my appointment. I should’ve known something was up when you told me to wear this skirt and tank top. I only agreed because my jersey pencil skirt is easily removed.” Then I realize my faux pas in word choice. Neesa bursts out laughing. “You know what I mean! Get your mind out of the gutter. I was talking about removing my clothes at the doctor.”

  “Uh… that ‘easily removed’ feature could still come in handy,” she says still laughing. She pulls into the parking garage and flashes her card so the gate will open. I know it’s too late to turn back now. I pull down the mirror and check my lipstick. If I have to see him then I may as well make a good impression.

  I feel exposed as I look at my reflection in the elevator’s mirror. I’m wearing a white spaghetti strapped blouson tank, a green pencil skirt in a jersey material, and a pair of cork wedges. The outfit is quite comfortable since the material is very soft, but it prominently displays all of my “assets”. I must’ve been really out of it this morning if I allowed Neesa to talk me into wearing this especially when I would’ve had to go to Daryn’s office if the tests would’ve come back positive. I guess I wanted to wear something that made me feel good. I guess I would’ve gone back to the apartment and changed if it had been necessary, but my subconscious didn’t want that to be necessary. Anyway, I dress this way on the rare occasion I’m out with Neesa. She hates for me to wear my conservative wrap dresses and cardigans, saying that people will mistake me for her mother if I’m dressed like that.

  After a few minutes of silence, I have to ask. “Whose idea was this? I mean how did he know I would be with you?”

  “I was supposed to be in a meeting first thing this morning. If we plan to miss a meeting, he requests that we call his office directly and let his assistant know. He doesn’t like to wait on people and if he knows we’re not coming then he won’t be waiting and looking for us to show up. Anyway… I talked to his assistant. I told her that I was taking a friend to an emergency doctor’s appointment. I guess he assumed it was you. He called me shortly after and asked me if you were okay. When I told him that it was nothing too serious, he told me to bring you by once we were done.” My mouth drops open. She knew what I was thinking. “I know what you’re thinking and the answer is no. I wouldn’t do that. It’s none of his business why you were at the doctor unless you feel the need to tell him. Now… let me look at you. You have a lunch date in his office. I told him to order the steak and shrimp hibachi meal from your favorite Chinese place.”

  Lunch date? “Shit, Neesa. Just this morning I thought I was pregnant with Daryn’s child, now you have me on a surprise lunch date with Quinton Ramsey! Shit, shit, shit.” My mouth has gone dry and my legs feel like Jell-O. Then something comes to mind as we enter Neesa’s office. “What would you have done if I had found out that I was pregnant? I would’ve had to go to Daryn’s office.”

  “We still had planned to do lunch, right? I never intended to be eating lunch with you. It would’ve waited for you at Daryn’s office, but I still would’ve brought you here. Hell, Sasha. I’m not telling you to sleep with the man. But he could be a good friend. You deserve to see what it’s like to have a taste of something that you want.” I nod. My emotions are all out of whack today and my friend is about to make me cry. She wants to see me happy so badly so I can’t bring myself to be mad at her for setting this up. I’m going to enjoy it. “Now go, you slut! I see you’re about to get all weepy on me and I ain’t havin’ it. Here…” she hands me a key ca
rd, “wave this in front of the panel and press the “P”. It’ll give you access to his penthouse office. I’ll call his assistant and let her know to be expecting you.”

  ***

  I step off the elevator and walk over to a large semi-circular desk that spans the entire area. There is a woman sitting at the desk and she looks to be in her mid-twenties. She is wearing the tightest button down shirt I’ve ever seen and her boobs look as if they may pop out at any moment. I look at her face and see that she is very pretty, but has on entirely too much makeup and it detracts from her beauty. She eyes me as if she has already decided that she doesn’t like me, but I try to ignore it.

  “Hi. I’m Sasha Ellis. Um… I think Mr. Ramsey is expecting me,” I say. I’m a little put off by the way she looks me up and down and practically rolls her eyes at me. I don’t know what I have done wrong to receive this kind of treatment, but I assume it has something to do with her boss. She must feel some type of possessiveness toward him since she works with him every day.

  “Yes, he is Ms. Ellis,” desk girl says with a hint of an attitude. “I’m going to need that key card back. I have to have someone take it back down to Ms. Johnson so she’ll have access to the elevator.”

  “Oh, okay.” I reach over the counter and hand her the key card with my left hand. She reaches for the key and then stops. She looks at my engagement ring and then looks back at me. She gives me a little smirk as if she thinks she knows something about me.

  “Nice ring. Who’s the lucky man?” She knows it’s not Quinton and I’m sure that’s why she is asking. She wants me to know that she knows that I am engaged and here having a lunch date with her boss that has nothing to do with business. I’m pretty sure that she has an even lower opinion of me now, but I don’t have time to ponder or digest her scrutiny because Quinton emerges from a door that I assume leads to his office. He looks at her admiring my ring and shakes his head.