The Hands

by Andrea Speed, A. B. Gayle, Jessie Blackwood, J. J Levesque, Katisha Moreish

  Gil watched him go. Damn it, but he’d put his foot well and truly in it. He’d wanted to at least explain. Maybe Miles was right, he did not know when to walk away from something. Maybe Asher was right too, he did talk too bloody much. Maybe he should pay for the lunch and leave, now, before Lyle got back...then the man would really hate me, the wise part of his mind said. No, wait it out. He couldn’t help glancing round him at the other folks enjoying their lunch. They had friends, family, concerns and interests all their own. Nobody gave a shit about him. Why should they? Why should anyone? Simon hadn’t, that was for sure...

  Lyle’s fist hurt like hell, having just dented the plastered wall of the restaurant bathroom. The colour of the language that accompanied his disappointment-fuelled outburst was not suitable for a Sunday afternoon. Gil had offered him pretty much what he needed, but now he couldn’t accept the gift. How could he start anything up with the man when that would inevitably mean lying to him about his past and his future and everything in between? He simply couldn’t lie to Gil now he knew what his last boyfriend had done to him, it would be another betrayal, and Gil didn’t deserve that. He slumped to the floor, folding himself up and trying to regain enough control to think his way out of his predicament without really upsetting Gil.

  Gil began to wonder at the time Lyle was taking, he glanced at the door that lead to the corridor where the rest rooms were situated. One or two of the staff were glancing that way, muttering and looking to the manager who had seemingly been summoned from his office. Gil wasn’t sure what was wrong. He decided to go find Lyle and check he was okay. Besides, he could do with using the facilities before they left. He paused for a fraction of a second. Maybe Lyle wasn’t going to be helping him after all.

  “Sir? Are you alright?” The waiter looked concerned, but a bit nervous too. Lyle glanced at him from his seated position against the wall. It dawned on him then that he would have to pay for the damage he’d caused. Great, no money and now even less. Could he ask Gil to sub him? Yeah that would work...Sorry, but I can’t see you again, and can you pay for the damage I just did here because of that? What a lovely end to their second and final date.

  Gil came up behind the man he supposed was the Manager; he wore an assertive manner along with his suit and was currently sporting a frown as well. As Gil watched, a young and rather nervous-looking waiter returned from the washroom. Yeah, that’s about right, Gil thought, send your staff to check on something instead of going yourself. He put on his best professional manner and stepped into the Manager’s line of sight. “Excuse me, what appears to be the problem?”

  “Oh there’s no real problem, Sir. If you need the bathroom may I suggest you use the staff one, though? We’ve got a bit of a plumbing issue in the customer toilet right now.” The manager flashed a smile an alligator would have been proud of.

  “My friend hasn’t come back from the washroom and I’m a little concerned. He’s prone to seizures...you don’t need 911, I’m a paramedic with the hospital. If he needs an ambulance, I’ll make the call. If you could just let me through?” Gil reached into his breast pocket and pulled out his ID, flashing it under the Manager’s nose. Chew on that, he thought. If Lyle was having problems it was best he got to him before anyone else did, although by the look on the little waiter’s face, he was too late.

  “Ah, I see... Well, in the circumstances...” The manager moved so that Gil could access the customer toilets. “Your friend is going to have to pay for the damage done though, Sir. Can you give me his name and address so that I can forward him the bill when the work is done? I’ll need to see proof of ID from him too, before I can let him leave.”

  What an officious bastard, Gil thought. Had he been any less concerned to find out what was going on he might have told the manager so, too. Something had happened to Lyle, though, and that was his only concern right now. He shoved his way into the room, but stopped short when he saw the state Lyle was in. He was slumped on the bathroom floor, chin on his chest, his left hand bloodied. He looked like he’d just broken his fist on someone’s jaw, then had all his supporting strings cut. His expression was a mixture of dismay, embarrassment, pain and something else Gil couldn’t quite work out.

  “Sorry, I’m a clutz. Give me a minute and I’ll be fine.”

  A more transparent lie Gil had never heard, but he chose to disregard it for the moment. ”Let me see your hand, it looks like it needs patching up.” Gil took time to rinse the blood away so that he could examine the injury better. He checked for any breaks, but it seemed Lyle knew how to punch without doing that level of damage to himself. There were lacerations, though, and he concluded what had really happened from the plaster dust that was coating Lyle’s knuckles. A quick glance round the room confirmed the manager’s reason for demanding Lyle’s ID and personal details.

  His hand hurt like hell, but Gil seemed satisfied that he’d be okay and hadn’t done himself any permanent mischief. He explained what the manager had said about paying for the damage to the fabric of the building, confirming Lyle’s most pessimistic predictions in that regard. The guy would just have to wait until his bank released his funds, which he hoped would be soon.

  Lyle allowed Gil to patch him up, whilst saying as little to him as was possible. Watching Gil deal with his injuries—his long, dexterous fingers gentle and strong as they worked—nearly brought Lyle to tears for the sake of what he was about to ruin between them. “I seem to have spoiled our meal. I’m sorry. Not sure what came over me...”

  Another lie. At this rate he wouldn’t have to push Gil away, he’d walk away all on his own, at double-quick time. Lyle gave Gil his address and passed him his ID. “Can you ask if we can leave by the back door? I hate being stared at.” He wasn’t able to suppress the sigh that slid out of him as he cursed his temper and his personal circumstances, both. His eyes were an even stranger shade of green than normal as they looked at Gil then, pleading with him not to ask for more plausible explanations right now.

  “Don’t worry about that now.” Gil kept his voice gentle and reassuring. It was obvious to a blind man that more was going on here than met the eye but right now—and Gil had to suppress a smile—but this wasn’t the time to talk. He could demand explanations when they were home. “Will you be okay for a minute? Go and sit in one of the stalls and bolt the door, it’ll give you a shield until I come back, okay?” Lyle nodded once and Gil got to his feet, exiting the rest room. He found the Manager again and flipped out his wallet. “I’m sure you’ll appreciate that my friend there doesn’t want to be stared at. If I could settle the bill for our food? I’ll make good the damage as well and I’d appreciate it if we could leave by your back door? He doesn’t need to be made a spectacle of, not in his present state.” He waited expectantly for the reply.

  “I can’t say how much the repairs will cost, Sir...”

  “It’s a bit of chipped plaster, how much can that cost? I could do the job in an hour... Hell, I will if you want me to, but my concern is allowing my friend there to get home to a safe environment to rest. Shall we say $100? Surely that’s bound to cover it...”

  “I’m afraid it will be more like $200, plus the meal, Sir.”

  Gil already had the measure of this guy. He’d quote for a professional job and then do it himself. He wasn’t about to let himself or Lyle be ripped off. “$150, meal included, and I won’t remember that your rest room floor was slippery when I went in. I’m not sure if my friend isn’t suffering concussion from that fall...I think maybe I’ll take him into ER, just to be safe...” Come to think of it, he might do just that. Lyle had looked distinctly green just now. “Now, if we can settle this quickly?”

  Haven Falls #183 - Need to Know

  Lyle Ashley Tate, Carter ‘Gil’ Gillespie

  (with mention of Miles Sutherland)

  _______________________________________________________________

  Sunday lunch hadn’t been the success Gil had hoped for. Lyle hadn’t answered him yet either
, whether he would like to add some further ‘bennies’ to their friendship. The incident in the restaurant bathroom was definitely off limits for discussion right now too. It was frustrating to him, because he really wanted answers.

  They walked side by side down the road towards Lyle’s place. Lyle had insisted he would prove good for the money Gil had laid out on his behalf to smooth things over with the restaurant manager. He’d also insisted he was still happy to help Gil move home today, although Gil would probably have to drive Lyle’s car himself now. Other than establishing these things Lyle had, in Gil’s estimate, stayed worryingly quiet since they’d left the restaurant.

  As soon as Lyle’s door was closed—and locked—behind them, an uncomfortable silence descended. Gil waited but Lyle was not forthcoming about what the matter was. Gil ignored Miles’ advice about walking away, he didn’t want to, not from this. Something he had said had caused Lyle’s melt-down and he was bound and determined to find out what. He went into the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil. Then he came back and faced the man down.

  “So tell me, what just happened?”

  Why had he come into the house? Why had he locked them in? He was used to locking the door on himself, but now he had no way of escaping Gil’s questions. Maybe he didn’t really want to?

  “I acted like a dick and you saved face for me. Thanks for settling up with the manager, I’ll make sure you get the money as soon as I have it.”

  “The money’s not an issue.” It really wasn’t, he had inheritances from both sets of grandparents, and his parents would always help him out if needs be too. He was never really short of cash, just careful with it. “I’d like to know what caused that back there though? I know it was something I said, but what?”

  Lyle accepted the tea Gil had made him. He sat. It struck him how Gil had helped himself, like it was his home too. Perhaps it was just his way, to be at ease with the world. Maybe he was just in carer mode. Like the Blitz, Lyle thought, handing out hot sweet tea to guard against shock. Lyle gestured for Gil to sit too. He really wanted to reach across the table and touch Gil’s hand, but he resisted the urge. This was going to be hard enough without reminding himself what Gil felt like to be with.

  “Gil, I really like you...” They could both hear the ‘but’ in there and they both hurt knowing it existed. “Simon hurt you and I don’t want to do the same. “

  “Why would you? How?”

  “There’s more to me than meets the eye...”

  “I know. I thought we’d sorted that out though?”

  “No, there’s something else as well. When you told me about Simon I realised I couldn’t omit something that might cause you to feel betrayed at a later date.”

  “And that made you mad? So just tell me!”

  “Mad, sad, frustrated...” Lyle hated what he knew had to be said next. “ I can’t tell you, so I don’t think it’s right for us to get involved further.”

  “Why can’t you tell me? You going to do a Daniel Craig on me?”

  “What do you mean?” Lyle looked puzzled. He didn’t know the reference.

  Gil smiled. “This place is just weird enough for me to find out you’re pulling a 007, you know? Need to know and all that, undercover stuff...?” He paused, assessing Lyle’s reaction. “Look, there are more people in this town with deep, dark secrets than you can chuck a stick at. If you’re one of them, then you should feel right at home, more than I do, for that matter.” He couldn’t help the wistful expression that crossed his face.

  “Fuck it! If you will accept that I’m having to hide something, but that I don’t intend you harm by doing so, and I have to keep secrets, I’m willing to see where we go.”

  “Tell me some things and then I’ll stop asking. Why can’t you tell me? Is it your work? Is it legal and is this ever going to stop? Will you be able to tell me one day?”

  “It’s unlikely to end, it’s something I got into and can’t ever get out of. It’s not illegal. It’s nothing to do with my working as a mortician. If we ever get properly serious I’ll have to tell you because it could affect your future with me, if we were planning one. Not that I am expecting that, but you need to be aware of it. I can’t tell you unless we were to get to that kind of point with each other because it could end up with me dead if I happen to have misjudged your character and ability to keep a serious secret.”

  Lyle didn’t mention that he’d have to have Gil’s background checked out if they were going to do this. It was something Gil didn’t need to know, if he was prepared to accept what he’d just been told. If he wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter.

  “Its got something to do with why you keep this place locked and bolted like Fort Knox, hasn’t it? No, don’t answer that one, its obvious.” Gil looked thoughtful, weighing the evidence, then he laughed harshly. “Well, this is different. I’ve spent the last six years with someone who kept secrets from me without me knowing. Now I’m looking at spending time with someone who admits he has secrets before we get together.” A smile lit his face suddenly, the irony of the situation wasn’t lost on him.

  The smile lifted Lyle’s spirits. Maybe they had a chance after all. “I know you’ve no reason to trust me. We’ve only known each other a week...but you’re lonely and so am I, and we’re both horny as hell and looking for an outlet for that too...”

  “That runs both ways. If you’re in a situation that demands you trust no-one, then how can you trust me? You shouldn’t trust me, not yet anyway. I appreciate that.”

  “So we have a deal? I’ll try not to fall for you, and keep my mouth shut about it if I do, and you’ll roll with the punches until such time as I can explain, if I ever can?”

  “I want to say that’ll be fine, but I’m not sure. I want to be friends with you, I really want to fuck you again...” he allowed his grin to become a tiny bit lecherous as he said that, “...but...” he sighed. The real reason was that he had someone else in his sights, someone that if he wasn’t careful he would begin to obsess over and that unsettled him. How could he tell Lyle that though? Gil chuckled. Lyle wasn’t going to be the only one with secrets then. “Just hope the punches are metaphorical ones.” He stuck out his hand.

  Lyle stood, took Gil’s hand and pulled him up into a kiss. It was needy, passionate, grateful, relieved. It brooked no arguments and admitted no doubts. This man was sexy as hell and he really liked the person he was too. His tongue pressed his case.

  Gil gasped and almost melted into the kiss. Almost. There were trust issues here, but he was pretty certain Lyle didn’t mean him harm. Whether harm would arrive later remained to be seen. His arms wound round Lyle’s back and pulled him closer. For now, it was better to take one day at a time. He pulled away and gazed into Lyle’s green eyes. “You ever need anything, any time, day or night, you call me, put my number on speed dial, okay? And another thing...” he fixed Lyle with a forbidding look, “...you ever have to drop off the map, you don’t go without at least one word, you got that? Even if its a text, even if the only word you can manage is goodbye, just...don’t leave me wondering, okay?”

  Lyle nodded. He was choking on the emotions Gil’s words were stuffing him full with. Eight years alone was a long time. Eight years not trusting anyone except the agents handling him. “I promise, pal.”

  Lyle broke the embrace, but kept hold of Gil’s arms. “The only other thing... We look after one another, okay? If we go with someone else we make sure it’s done safely. I’ll try and tell you before anything happens, if something is going to. How you handle that aspect is up to you.”

  “Okay, sounds sense. Look, if you have to go, I’ll understand, I only meant that if you don’t tell me, at least send me a message otherwise I’ll be calling the cops out, understood? Maybe we ought to send our own code word? Something short, something only we could understand, like...” he laughed, “well, 007 maybe?”

  “I’m blond, not Bond!” Lyle grinned and laughed. It was a good sound.

  Gil joined in w
ith the laughter. “Well, its short, sweet and to the point. If I ever receive 007 I’ll know you have to go underground fast, I’ll understand. It’s like safe words...” he paused to see if Lyle understood. His eyes said he did. Gil raised one eyebrow contemplatively. Understanding didn’t necessarily mean he was into such things. It might be fun finding out though. “If you send anything else than that, I’ll know to call out the National Guard, you see?”

  “Thanks Gil. I’m hoping this is going to stay my home from now on, but it’s good to know I can say goodbye if I need to.”

  “I hope never to get that message, ever, but if I do, at least I’ll understand.” He sighed. “I’ve been trained in disaster management, worst case scenarios, that kind of thing. It shows sometimes.”

  Lyle ruffled Gil’s hair and hugged him some more. Being ‘friends with benefits’ gave him some privileges, he figured. “We need to get you moved. I’ll try not to spit in Miles’s eye when I come over, but I may be a bit jealous, okay? I’m not used to my lover ‘living out’.”

  “Believe me, you don’t want me living in, not just yet anyway...”

  “Please, let’s not go there. It’s going to be hard enough not crushing on you as it is. Don’t give me hope to contend with too!” Lyle chuckled and picked up his car keys. They were going to need his vehicle to shift Gil’s belongings to Miles’s place. “Come on, let’s get you out of that shoe box and into a decent place. I am going to miss it though, first place we made love and all that...”

  “Then we’ll just have to make you a few memories here, won’t we?” Gil suggested. He checked his watch. “We’ve got time.... It won’t take long to get my stuff to Miles’, I’m already packed. We’ve not Christened your bed yet...”