Miss Bingley Requests

by Judy McCrosky

  Caroline gasped, and struggled to quickly bring her countenance back under her control. ‘I am never rude to anyone, and you can rest assured I will behave with proper decorum, as I always do.’ How could he speak to her so unkindly? But then, remembering what she wished to learn, and since he was clearly annoyed with her, she decided she might as well be in for a pound as well as for a penny. ‘Am I to assume, then, that wedding bells will soon ring out for you and Miss Eliza?’

  It was his expression that changed now, and he had an even greater struggle to regain his control. What he could not hide, not from her and certainly not from himself, was a gaping sorrow. He is in love with her. It was love that drove him to propose, and he clearly loves her still, even though she refused him.

  ‘I am afraid I cannot answer that inquiry.’ He made her a stiff bow and stalked away.

  It was a good thing, she reflected as she watched his broad-shouldered form recede, that he had left her when he did. For her mouth had already been forming words, wanting to ask if there was no hope of an alliance between their two families. Asking that would have been a shocking breach of propriety. She had been associating too much with Eleanor, for the people who attended her soirées often spoke openly of their friends and lovers. But it would not have done to speak in such a manner to Mr Darcy. Even if he could have supposed she spoke of her hopes for Charles and Georgiana, he would have known it was of herself she spoke, and her hoped-for marriage with him.

  She wanted to weep. She wanted to sink down onto the flower-strewn grass and howl out her grief. She knew now how foolish she’d been. Probably he’d never had any intentions concerning her. He’d treated her with the distant politeness he’d show any sister of one of his closest friends. Thank goodness she’d always been circumspect, and so no one, other than Louisa and Eleanor, knew of her hopes.

  She didn’t weep. She squared her shoulders, lifted her chin, and walked with dignity along the laughing stream, hoping that the sights and sounds of Pemberley, its birds and flowers and the sweetly singing brook, would soothe her soul, and not simply remind her of all she had lost.

  * * *

  When she returned to the house, she encountered Louisa, who took one look at her and pulled her into the closest room. It happened to be one of the smaller morning rooms, and was blessedly unoccupied.

  Louisa led Caroline to a settee and, when she didn’t sit down, pushed her on the shoulder until she did. Then, dragging a chair over so she could sit facing Caroline, knees to knees, she said, ‘Tell me.’

  Caroline gazed at her sister’s face, which was close enough to take up her entire vision. She knew that face so well, was familiar with every tone on the skin, every small line by the eyes. She saw only concern, and so said, in a voice so dull she wasn’t sure it was her own, ‘He is in love with Miss Elizabeth Bennet.’

  ‘But she refused him.’ Louisa sat back, appearing affronted.

  ‘Yes, she did.’ Caroline’s lip trembled, and she struggled for a moment before she could continue speaking. ‘And how dare he still have feelings for her!’

  Louisa studied her for a moment, and then laughed. ‘Oh, well done. I am most relieved to discover that disconsolate though you are, your sense of humour and your backbone are still present.’

  Caroline thought about how she was sitting. It was a scandalous posture, really, her shoulders slumped, her back curved. She could not find the energy to sit up straight. ‘While I hope you are correct about my ability to see the lighter side of some aspects of life, I confess I do not think my backbone is still present. The only thing holding me upright at all is my ingrained sense of propriety.’

  Louisa smiled. ‘There, see? You can still laugh, even at yourself. And as Mr Darcy was refused by Eliza, he will soon get over this unfortunate lapse on his part and his affections will return to you.’

  I am convinced, Caroline thought, he has never thought of me as a possible match, but this was too horrible to share, even with Louisa. Saying it aloud would make it become too real, as if only by not speaking could Caroline cling to any sort of hope. And so she said nothing.

  ‘You cannot give up,’ Louisa said. ‘Mr Darcy knows you are the most suitable match for a man of his standing. He cannot, he will not, consider one such as Elizabeth, not when he must realise how fortunate he was to be refused. Why, can you imagine her standing by his side, in the front foyer, ready to greet guests from court? She doesn’t even know how to do a formal curtsey!’

  Caroline thought about Eliza bobbing in front of the prince regent, and falling over as she attempted to greet him properly, but even this image could not make her smile.

  ‘You cannot give up.’ Louisa jumped up and paced about the room, her steps and bearing almost military in their precision. ‘I will not permit it. This is not the Caroline I know. My Caroline would never give way to despair.’

  ‘Perhaps it is time I recognise that reality is better than despair,’ Caroline said slowly. ‘And I suspect that you have always known that my hopes might well be dashed.’

  Louisa opened her mouth, clearly to deny what Caroline had said, but then her shoulders slumped a little. ‘Perhaps. But I have wanted to support you. You are my sister and I love you. All I have ever wanted is for you to be happy.’

  Caroline thought about everything that had occurred recently, the buoyancy of confidence and hope, and the descents into despair, and realised that, despite what her sister might think, despair had become more familiar than she liked. The lassitude that had overcome her when she had first learned Darcy had proposed to Elizabeth had been overwhelming, so much so that she was unable to leave her bed, much less her rooms. And now? Would she again be overcome by that dreary weight, pinning her down?

  As if she had read her mind, Louisa sat down again and, taking Caroline’s limp hands, said, ‘You cannot permit this to affect you so strongly. I do not think any of us, or you, can withstand another period like that of your recent illness.’

  Louisa’s dear face appeared so distressed that Caroline somehow discovered the strength to nod her head, and then to force herself to her feet. ‘That will not happen. I promise you. Oh, but how shall I face him? Here we are, planning to stay for some weeks.’ She lifted her chin. ‘I think this is what I most cannot forgive Miss Eliza, that my time at Pemberley, so long awaited, should be tarnished by her tendrils wrapping still about Mr Darcy.’

  ‘I, personally, shall never forgive her any part of it. She has behaved in a truly reprehensive manner. Just imagine, she somehow found out when Mr Darcy would be here, and she contrived to “accidentally” meet him here, in his own grounds!’

  Caroline was overwhelmed by a surge of love for her sister. And then, like a sudden ray of sunshine pushing through a dark cloud, a thought blossomed in her mind. Mr Tryphon. If Mr Darcy was truly lost to her, then she was free to marry Mr Tryphon. Stephen—a man who did love her, and whom she loved in return.

  She looked about her, at the thick rug beneath her feet, the fine furniture and the perfectly trained servants, the beautiful vista beyond the window. She thought about the stables, the many fine horses, and the large number of carriages, of all sizes, ready to take her wherever she might wish to go. Here she was, living at Pemberley, with all that it could offer. How, surrounded as she was by its luxury and beauty, could she even think of giving it up? Being mistress of Pemberley was all she’d dreamed of since she’d first met Mr Darcy. His person, his wealth, his estate, there was nothing more she could ever want.

  She buried her face in her hands, ignoring Louisa’s warm hand, placed out of concern on her shoulder. How much more of this could one body withstand before being torn literally into two pieces? Should she follow her heart or her head? She did not know.

  * * *

  ‘Clearly,’ Louisa whispered to Caroline, the next morning, as they stood to receive their callers, ‘Eliza was unable to wait a second longer to add up the value of everything in the house.’

  Caroline would have smiled, if she
had not been feeling so utterly wretched. As if to mock her, the sun was shining brightly outside, and the day was already pleasantly warm. Outside the windows of the saloon, the distant hills glowed with their joy of summer, and birds sang paeans to love from the leaves of the oak trees.

  Georgiana stood a little ahead of the Bingley sisters, which was her place as hostess. But did the girl, Caroline thought, have to be so eager to greet her visitors? Why, she was positively fidgety, clasping and unclasping her hands, shifting her weight from foot to foot. Caroline supposed that, were she feeling more charitable, she would assume Georgiana was nervous, but in her current mood, the girl seemed to express only an unseemly desire to see Eliza and the aunt who lived in Cheapside as soon as possible.

  The callers were shown in. Georgiana greeted them prettily enough, Caroline supposed, although she stammered once or twice, and said very few words. ‘Perhaps,’ Caroline whispered to Louisa, ‘our dear Georgiana is more sensible than I feared, for her greeting is not very effusive.’

  ‘I think,’ Louisa murmured back, a fixed smile on her face directed at the visitors, ‘she is merely shy. She has very little experience, after all, of playing hostess without her brother at her side.’

  Caroline sighed, and without looking at the visitors, waited for Georgiana to sit before sinking into a chair herself. An awkward silence ensued, but since Georgiana had wanted these callers to come to Pemberley, Caroline was determined not to help her out in any way. Everyone smiled at everyone else, until Mrs Annesley, Georgiana’s companion, who’d been sitting quietly in a corner, spoke up.

  ‘Is this your first visit to this part of the country?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh no,’ the aunt said. ‘Why, I spent many happy years of my youth no further from this site than Lambton!’ This led to a conversation about the merits of Derbyshire and growing up in the country in which Caroline, thankfully, did not need to participate. The awkwardness vanished, for even Georgiana ventured to take part in the discussion now and then, and Caroline took advantage of being ignored at present to study Miss Elizabeth.

  Despite Louisa’s surmise that Eliza would be adding up the value of every piece of furniture in the room and each painting on the wall, she was giving all her attention to those participating in the conversation. She smiled at Georgiana a lot so presumably she was more interested in becoming friendly with Mr Darcy’s sister. No doubt she thought that would best help her win him and thus the monetary value of her desired marriage could wait.

  Caroline couldn’t help drawing a huge sigh, although she perked up when she recalled Mr Darcy had already been refused by Eliza. A man of his standing, of his pride, would not belittle himself by risking a second refusal. Still, she remembered the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes when he’d spoken of Elizabeth the day before, and could not quiet her nerves.

  Caroline had chosen to sit at a little distance from where Georgiana had placed her guests, which meant she could not easily speak to them, but at length she realised that despite her dislike of these callers and their existence in this area, her good breeding behooved her to at least inquire after the Bennet family’s health. Fortunately Elizabeth seemed to realise Caroline’s lack of interest in the subject, and replied with brevity.

  Caroline was relieved of any other social burdens, although Georgiana required reminding of her obligations as hostess, once servants had appeared with refreshments. Fortunately, Mrs Annesley assisted the girl.

  As everyone was engaged in partaking of the lovely fruits, cakes, and other delicacies, Mr Darcy entered the room. Caroline had just taken a large bite from a slice of poppy seed cake, and was forced to turn away, so he would not witness her in the unbecoming act of chewing. When she finally was able to swallow, which was difficult in a mouth suddenly gone dry, she saw he was speaking to Georgiana. ‘Why don’t you tell us, dear one, of your latest musical triumph?’

  Georgiana, eyes downcast at first, spoke shyly of playing before some royal guests the week before, in town. Caroline had been present and had thought that Georgiana played very well for such a young person. Not as well as she herself would have, of course, but unfortunately she was not invited to take a turn at the pianoforte.

  Caroline’s eyes quickly moved to Elizabeth, to see if she was fawning over Mr Darcy, or otherwise flirting, behaviour which surely he would frown upon. To her surprise, and disappointment, Elizabeth appeared entirely at ease, smiling at Georgiana and asking questions to draw out more details of her performance. But wait, no, she did take a quick sidelong glance at Mr Darcy. No doubt about it, whatever reason she’d had for refusing him, and surely the only reason she could have had would have been to further inflame Mr Darcy’s interest in her by appearing out of his grasp, she seemed quite receptive now.

  Caroline ground her teeth, quietly, and had to restrain herself from stamping her foot. How dare this minx entertain hopes of winning Mr Darcy? Elizabeth had not spoken directly to him now, she was much too clever for that, but Caroline could tell her meek air was not doing her any harm in his eyes. Quickly, knowing she must remind him of the reasons he had refused to even entertain any thoughts of long-term connections with the Bennets, she asked, ‘Pray, Miss Eliza, are not the—shire Militia removed from Meryton? They must be a great loss to your family.’

  She wanted to mention Wickham, for she now regretted not encouraging Eliza’s interest in that gentleman, but dared not do so in Mr Darcy’s presence. Elizabeth, though, appeared to completely understand all that remained unsaid, for she flushed, but when she spoke, her tone was reasonably composed. ‘It is of little matter, for we have many distractions in Hertfordshire.’

  Elizabeth did glance at Mr Darcy while speaking, but he was looking, with concern, at his sister, whose countenance was also flushed, and somewhat distressed.

  Elizabeth continued speaking, attempting to lift Georgiana’s gaze from her hands which were twisting together on her lap, and at length the girl smiled at something Eliza said. Mr Darcy smiled warmly at Elizabeth, and Caroline’s heart writhed within her chest and she began to experience strong sensations of nausea.

  She could not leave the room while the visitors yet remained, but fortunately for her composure, the visit did not last more than a few minutes longer. As Mr Darcy left the room to see the callers out, Caroline took in some deep breaths of air, and her head cleared.

  ‘I declare,’ Louisa said, ‘I thought they would never leave.’

  Caroline was not yet ready to speak, but Georgiana, appearing confused, said, ‘I did not think their visit overlong. The time passed most pleasantly.’

  Caroline could not allow this remark to go unchallenged. She could not permit Elizabeth to use her wiles on Mr Darcy without at least trying to dissuade him. It was for his sake, after all, that she needed to be so harsh, for a marriage with one such as Eliza would surely ruin him.

  ‘Ah,’ she said, ‘the innocent joys of youth. Time passes, I find, more heavily as one grows older and I, for one, am unwilling to waste any time with visitors such as Miss Elizabeth and her aunt.’

  Georgiana now appeared distressed. ‘You are not so very much older than I. And the call did not last more than a half hour, which is perfectly acceptable.’

  ‘You are indeed a sweet girl,’ Caroline said, ‘unwilling to see anything other than good in any one. But you need to be careful not to be taken in by the appearance of goodness alone.’

  Georgiana’s lips trembled, and she was unable to speak, so Caroline turned to her sister. ‘Did you not observe how very dowdy both of our visitors appeared? Indeed, speaking of age, I think Eliza risks ruining her skin with all her running about the countryside.’

  ‘I thought,’ Georgiana said, her voice little above a whisper, ‘their appearance was perfectly lovely.’

  Caroline shrugged and, enjoying herself now, continued to denigrate Elizabeth’s person and behaviour. Something inside her could not just give up and allow Eliza to be triumphant. She was now feeling much better than a few
minutes earlier and so, when Mr Darcy appeared, she invited him to join in the game.

  ‘How very ill Miss Eliza Bennet looks this morning, Mr Darcy,’ she cried. ‘I never in my life saw anyone so much altered as she is since the winter. She is grown so brown and coarse! Louisa and I were agreeing that we should not have known her again.’

  He did not answer at first, choosing to sit by his sister and take her hand. Only once she had given him a tremulous smile did he say, ‘I would have known her anywhere. I could discern no alteration other than that she is rather tanned, which is no miraculous consequence of travelling in the summer.’

  ‘Indeed?’ Caroline replied, a sense of desperation filling her heart. ‘For my own part, I must confess that I never could see any beauty in her. Her face is too thin; her complexion has no brilliancy; and her features are not at all handsome. Her nose wants character—there is nothing marked in its lines. Her teeth are tolerable, but not out of the common way; and as for her eyes, which have sometimes been called fine,’ she smiled at Mr Darcy, hoping he would respond with humour, but he did not. ‘I could never see anything extraordinary in them,’ she continued, determined to surge ahead. ‘They have a sharp, shrewish look, which I do not like at all; and in her air altogether there is a self-sufficiency without fashion, which is intolerable.’

  Mr Darcy had turned back to his sister while Caroline spoke, and he reached now to brush a thumb over her cheek, and to whisper something to her. She nodded resolutely in response, and so he turned back to Caroline. His brows were lowered and a small frown curved his lips downward. Taking heart, since this appeared to Caroline to show he was reconsidering his praise of Eliza, she swept on.

  ‘I remember, when we first knew her in Hertfordshire, how amazed we all were to find she was a reputed beauty.’ His brow lowered further, and Caroline knew she was succeeding in her aim, and that surely he could no longer think well of that minx. ‘I particularly recollect your saying one night,’ she said with a laugh, ‘after they had been dining at Netherfield, “She a beauty!—I should as soon call her mother a wit.”’ She burst out laughing, joined by Louisa, but Mr Darcy did not show by any word or expression what he was thinking. Worrying for the first time that perhaps she had gone too far, for Georgiana appeared on the verge of tears, Caroline added, ‘But afterwards she seemed to improve on you, and I believe you thought her rather pretty at one time.’