Mending the Past

by Avery June Ligon

  Efrem had also been watching Eileen all night. He approved of her comportment and his father had let him know that he and his mother approved of Eileen as well. That settled matters – Efrem would make this little woman his wife. Efrem had written an addendum list to the Potential Wives List because he knew it would be better to formulate a plan for dating and marriage before dating began. That way he’d be sure to act with respect and reserve. He was congratulating himself on his foresight as he ate dinner with Eileen. Ah, Eileen, Eileen Lark, my little lark, sweet tiny bird. I want to decorate myself with your feathers. I want to.... He interrupted his thoughts with, The Schedule: First date – give her a flower. Second date – a kiss on the cheek. Third date – a kiss on the cheek and tell her she’s lovely.... He repeated his list in his mind. He created a rhythm for the recitation. This extra focus kept him an unerring gentleman.

  Back at the winter formal, the tipsy crowd voted Steward and Statue “Best Couple”. One girl was crying in the bathroom and a few of Efrem’s friends were plotting Steward’s demise. The rest of the crowd laughed with appreciation as Steward finished his slow dance with a kiss to the fragment’s broken neck.

  Later that night, as Steward was leading the statue away from the dance with his friends, a deep voice yelled, “Hey!” in his direction. Steward brought the statue to a gradual halt and turned around. The face of the guy who’d yelled at him was one of Efrem’s friends from the football team.

  Steward sighed and wondered why the misery of having Efrem take out with the girl that Steward had spent months trying to get to notice him wasn’t enough for these guys. It was painful enough to stay a week ahead in Biology, so she’d ask me questions, he thought. How else would these people like to torture me?

  “Hey, how about going back to the garbage where you belong?” the deep voiced guy said. His girlfriend giggled.

  Not the garbage can stuff again, Steward thought. I thought that was reserved for high school. Clearly the guy’d had too much to drink. Steward looked around for a way to end the conversation. And then, there was Bill. The only guy on the football team bigger than Efrem. Bill and Efrem had been friends since the first day of elementary school and years of friendship had worn a path through the woods from the Mae family home to Bill’s house down the hill. Bill stepped in front of the deep voiced guy, who peered around him to ask, “Does that thing have a pussy? Are you going to take it home and cum all over it, art lover?”

  “No, man,” Steward said. “She’s got nothing, until tonight when I drill into her with my diamond hard dick.”

  Steward’s friends laughed. Steward looked at Bill, who gave him a nearly imperceptible nod.

  “Hey, asshole,” Steward said, smiling at Bill, “your girlfriend’s beautiful. I’ll pay off your family’s debt with my allowance, if you talk her into dropping by my house in, oh, say, an hour and a half.”

  Bill’s girlfriend blushed deep red.

  “Asshole,” the guy behind Bill said. He made a move to run at Steward.

  Bill saw him and threw his arms out wide. “He’s fucking scum,” Bill said. Then he turned to his friends. “Not worth it. He just isn’t worth it. Let’s get out of here.”

  * * * * *

  About an hour and a half later, Bill’s girlfriend walked the path through the woods between Bill’s house and the Mae family home. She arrived at the basement level door of the south tower and knocked. Melissa stood in the dark, her feet throbbing in her heels, and waited. She knocked again. Then she pounded, and the more she pounded the more angry and confused she felt. She buried her face in her hands, and that’s how Steward found her. “Um, hi...” he said.

  Melissa lowered her hands and looked at him.

  “I didn’t think you’d actually.... I mean, sorry about what I said. I’m sure I sounded like a jerk, but Bill knew it was all talk. Did he tell you it was, you know, understood between us? I mean, come in.”

  Melissa followed him in. She was limping in her heels. Steward had changed into jeans and a tee shirt, and was barefoot.

  “Heels aren’t the best shoes for a walk in the woods. You can leave them at the door, if you like.”

  She sat on a wooden bench next to the door and pulled her heels off. Then she just sat there looking at Steward and she couldn’t think of anything good to say, so she just told the truth. “Bill sent me. He said he couldn’t spend anymore time with me tonight, and that you’d explain it. Oh, and he begged me not to be too angry with him. I’m tired and I’m confused.”

  “Hm. What did he say I’d explain to you?” Steward asked.

  “Well, if he’d told me, I wouldn’t need you to explain it.”

  Steward shifted his feet around. “Well, the school year is almost over, and Bill’s a senior,” he said, “and I suppose that you two are good friends. You’ve been together for awhile now.”

  “Best friends,” Melissa said. “He calls me his best friend.”

  Steward looked at the ground and smiled. He raised his eyes to meet hers and held out his hand. “Come on, we’ll walk and talk. I’ll take you through the collection. Where should we start? How about Egyptian, Greek or Mesopotamian? Those are my favorites. Let’s start with one of those.”

  “I don’t even know what Mesopotamian is,” Melissa said.

  “Then Mesopotamian it is,” Steward said, still holding out his hand. “You shouldn’t avoid things you don’t know or don’t understand. Tonight you’ll learn.”

  A lesson seemed like a disappointing end to Winter Formal, but Melissa took Steward’s hand and followed at his side. They walked up a couple flights of stairs in silence.

  As they entered the collection, Steward told Melissa, “I’ve known Bill for a long time. Good guy. I bet he’s the perfect gentleman of a boyfriend?”

  “He is. He’s kind and gentle and he listens to me when I’m upset.” She thought about how silly this must sound to Steward, who a couple of hours before was exchanging insults with Bill.

  “Well,” Steward said, stopping and rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m glad you two are friends. I hope you aways will be, but,” Steward paused, “I hope you aren’t looking for a proposal.”

  Melissa blushed and they stood in awkward silence looking at each other.

  “Bill doesn’t like girls, women, sorry, females, whatever.”

  “What are you talking about?” Melissa laughed. “I’m his best friend.”

  “No. I mean he doesn’t like them,” Steward said, leaning into the word “like”.

  Melissa just looked at him. She always seemed smart in class. This was the first time Steward had seen her struggle with a concept. She looked at him with her big blue-green eyes. Her thick brown hair hung over her shoulders and pointed to her breasts. Her bangs were cut in a straight line across her forehead and they made the delicate point of her chin seem even more delicate.

  “Okay, I mean that when you’re standing this close to me, I feel like maybe you’re all electricity.” Steward cleared his throat.

  Melissa thought this was the first time she’d seen Steward struggle to explain himself.

  “I mean,” Steward said, “that I can feel just how close you are. I know just exactly where...”

  Steward gave up and gave in and before he finished his sentence his arm was around Melissa’s waist and the hand that had been rubbing his neck was holding the back of her head, his lips were pressed against her bottom one, which allowed a little gasp to escape her mouth as she felt Steward’s body push against hers. She couldn’t help but push herself into him. Then he stepped back and took an audible breath. She tried to decide what mixture of emotions she was feeling.

  “Next to guys built like Bill and my brother, I’m afraid I don’t seem very manly.” Steward flexed his arms and his curly hair bobbed around.

  Melissa thought this was a strange thing to say and wanted to laugh, but she wasn’t sure if she’d hurt Steward’s feelings.

  “Or, at least, Bill felt I exuded a telling air of f
emininity when he was near. So, in a way, you can count that kiss as having been from Bill.”

  Melissa just looked at him.

  “He gave it to me. I was standing just about where you are now. I’m passing it along to you.” Steward thought about what to say next. “I do think you’re beautiful though. I mean, maybe you shouldn’t count that kiss as being all from Bill. Come on. I’ll show you the collection.”

  * * * * *

  Efrem dropped Eileen off at her home as soon as the benefit dinner was over and he walked her to the door, gave her a flower, thanked her for joining him, and asked her to go out to dinner with him the next Friday. Eileen took the flower, thanked him for the evening, and told him that she’d be looking forward to next Friday. Efrem walked back to his car silently reciting his list. Eileen told her parents about the evening and then put the flower in a little vase and took it to her room to go to bed.

  Chapter 21 Ocean Phone

  The others let Bud go without a word. He sprinted up the stairs and headed in the direction he felt he should go. He didn’t turn any lights on, but entered the bathroom and felt his way through – across the floor until his foot hit the bathtub, into the tub, out of it again. He came to rest cross-legged on a low shelf below a window that ran the length of the tub. From there he looked toward the ocean. He was too far away to hear the water lapping up, and beating down against the shore, so he held a decorative shell of Maggie’s to his ear. He opened the window and felt the heavy, moisture-thick air wrap around him. He closed his eyes and felt little drops of rain being blown against his face.

  Bud held his ocean phone to his ear and the ocean whispered its immutable language. He listened for a long time. Then he spoke. “What could be more true?” he agreed, and fell quiet as he listened to more of the ocean’s story.

  * * * * *

  Sam lay on the couch listening to Maggie, Ed, and Bud who’d all migrated upstairs. He’d given Bud his blue bandana, and found the shell. He’d made the cookies. The rest was up to Maggie and their guests, except for the packing. He couldn’t trust anyone else with that. He’d rise early the next morning and begin to pack. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been far enough from the shore that he couldn’t have climbed a tree to see the ocean. Well, maybe the last time I cut firewood in the valley by the old mill. Still, I could’ve run to the water faster than it’d take most people to get a chainsaw running. Not his little girl though. He could hear Maggie preparing to read Ed’s palm and wondered where he’d be led in search of Jet and the baby. How will it feel, if they take me from the ocean? he wondered. He fell asleep listening to the sound of Maggie and Ed talking, and dreamt of a time he’d taken Jet to bring home some firewood.

  Chapter 22 Eileen's Wedding

  Just before, what would have been, her junior year in college, Eileen became Mrs. Efrem Mae. The ceremony took place at the Mae family home. Efrem chose Bill and Steward as his Best Men. Eileen wanted her cousin Jane to be her Maid of Honor, but her ideas for her wedding party ended there. She’d been such a serious student and so focused on her family that she hadn’t made close friends in college. Efrem suggested that she ask Melissa to be her Bride’s Maid because she was Bill’s girlfriend. Eileen agreed that would be nice for them and called Melissa later that day.

  The weeks leading up to her wedding were exciting for Eileen. She spent a lot of time with Efrem’s mother who, with assistance, was planning the wedding. Eileen helped her whenever she could and loved the opportunity to study Mrs. Mae. Especially, since her job now was to become the next Mrs. Mae. Efrem had spoken to Eileen, and she wouldn’t be returning to school. Her dreams of nursing school would be replaced with private tutors for anything she wanted to know.

  Efrem was not involved in planning the wedding ceremony, and besides, he felt that he’d done all of the important planning already. His courtship of Eileen had progressed as he’d written in the addendum list. In his spare time, of which there was little now that he’d begun to work more with his father, Efrem’s thoughts strayed to his approaching wedding night. This was where his last bit of planning lay. He’d booked tickets to Paris, and found a very comfortable hotel and asked for restaurant recommendations.

  The day of the wedding, Eileen watched the Mae family home appear through the trees as she was being driven up the long driveway. Her hair and makeup had been done and her veil was in place. Through her veil the world looked softer, fuzzy and confused. Jane and Melissa were making polite conversation. Eileen made sure she was still breathing by watching her veil for movement. Nothing. She exhaled harder. Still nothing. She faked a little cough and the veil moved. Still alive, she thought, and shifted all of her attention to her bouquet. Sweet smelling white roses and white and pink lilies that smelled of cloves. Her knuckles were as white as the roses and her dress. To relax, she inhaled the scent of flowers in one great calming breath. Her veil responded and stuck itself to her nostrils; making a hissing sound. She checked to see if Melissa and Jane had noticed. The were busy talking. She made a mental note to breathe short shallow breaths until the veil was off her head.

  As the car brought Eileen closer, she tried to take in as much of the detail as she could through the fog of her veil. She could see where the car would stop to let herself and Jane and Melissa out. It was marked by a stone column that had broken in two. Steward had brought these two pieces from the same section of the Mae collection that Lucretia had come from. The column is a lovely touch, she thought. See, Eileen, all of the careful planning will make everything perfect.

  The car stopped. Jane and Melissa got out and walked to Eileen’s side. The driver opened the door, held out a gloved hand and helped Eileen to her feet. Eileen’s heels pressed into the white carpet. She wrapped both hands around the stem of her bouquet. She looked at Jane and Melissa. Before turning to walk down the isle, Jane told her that she looked beautiful. Melissa nodded in agreement. Eileen smiled a thank you. She suspected she looked terrified, and appreciated the attempt to calm her. She told herself that there was a plan, that she knew the plan, had rehearsed it a thousand times in her head, that all she needed to do was let one foot follow the other and it would be fine. It would be complete. She would be sitting next to her husband .... She took a deep calming breath.

  Her veil stuck to her nostrils and the breath hissed through the mesh. She wanted to laugh or cry. She looked to Jane and Melissa, but they were already gone. She looked at the columns and thought that Steward would have laughed. She began to giggle. She felt like she might never stop giggling. The driver touched her shoulder to remind her it was time to walk. She fell silent.

  Eileen remembered very little of the ceremony. She knew she followed all of the right steps and she made sure to breathe very little, so as not to disrupt her veil. She remembered taking comfort in how everything looked just as she expected. The perfection continued down to the smallest detail. She was thinking that the hair dresser had even seen to it that every strand of the wedding party’s hair was cemented into position, and that the wedding photographs would look great, when she caught sight of Steward. His untamed head of hair formed the usual soft curly brown halo around his head. They made eye contact and he smiled. Sweet Steward, she thought, what a ridiculous version of a human being. She felt her self sliding toward another fit of giggling and turned her attention to Efrem. He looks more handsome than ever, she thought. She took her place across from him and looked into his eyes.

  The day and evening continued as planned. Eileen felt lucky and almost giddy to have become a part of a family with resources that would allow for the perfect execution of, it seemed, anything she wanted. There had been toasts, champagne, and dancing. Eileen had been very careful to greet everyone and to thank them for coming. She’d also given special thank yous to those who’d been in the wedding or had helped to plan it.

  When the day had grown late, and she and Efrem would be leaving for the airport soon, Eileen began her farewells, but couldn’t find Steward or Melissa. Sh
e waited a few minutes to see if they appeared. She was especially worried about saying goodbye to Steward. He’s family now, she thought.

  Eileen found Efrem among their guests. “I want to say goodbye to Steward and Melissa, but I can’t find them. I’m going to search for them. I won’t be gone too long. Then I’ll be ready to go,” she said.

  Efrem nodded and smiled. She watched his eyes stray from her face to her body, and felt herself blush.

  As Eileen walked through the house she thought about leaving with her husband on her wedding night. They’d be gone for weeks. Maybe everyone would forget they’d had a wedding night. Or maybe, she thought, they’ll all remember and look at me with faint, questioning smiles when we return. Eileen tried to push the whole idea out of her mind, but couldn’t help realizing that she hadn’t planned for her wedding night. Could I have planned for it? Was there a book I should have read? Where would one have to go to get such a book? She almost came up with some ideas to answer her own question, but pushed them all down before they could surface.

  Eileen was left to wrestle with her thoughts as she walked down the carpeted hallway. But when she’d passed through the door leading to the collection, the carpet ended. Her heels clacked against the travertine floor. Startled by the sound of her body moving forward, Eileen emerged from her thoughts to look around. She passed through ancient Greece, then Rome, trying all the while not to look at any nudes. She felt her white dress against her skin, and the way it packaged her body, but marched forward attempting to persuade herself that she was undaunted. Eileen entered the next room. Asian art. The confidence of her stride disappeared as she came face to face with a statue whose vagina was represented. Eileen felt faint. She considered leaving, but heard voices ahead and, hoping one belonged to Steward, crept on.