Love and War in the WRNS
Page 28
Robin is leading a very gay life in UK – he is definitely joining the Tanks – all I can say is I bet he lands into the 5th and I bet that I, and all my swains, all land up the M.E. together sometime next year, with John P. thrown in the background! Quelle Vie!!
Must stop now – get up, dress, have tea, and stagger to the office for an hour or so – (yes, I do feel honoured about Ken – having just re-read your letter – all after three meetings – too!)
With lots of love
Sheila
In the very same letter she says:
I’ve realised what a help to me it’s been to have been in the M.E. and to have knocked about a bit – I also realise how green I must have been when I went abroad, I’d certainly like to have that M.E. time all over again – for I feel now I could master most situations – even of the John P. variety!
It seems to me, reading these letters now, and comparing Ken and John’s characters, that they seem pretty similar, both liable to fall into terrible rages and fits of jealousy, and that she has learned very little! The phrase ‘we are now firm friends again’ rekindles memories of her on/off affair with John Pritty and does not augur well for this little romance. She seems strangely attracted to this kind of man, my father being of a similar type; Robin and Bruce were complete opposites, it appears, real gentlemen; but perhaps not sparky enough? The really rather pathetic thing is her obvious and utter desperation to find a husband – to be ‘honoured’ by Ken’s courtship is a strange way of looking at it – and not to fall between the proverbial ‘two stools’ as she puts it.
The very next letter says it all:
1945 (12) Plön
22/11/45
My dear Mum –
No mail from anyone for three (repeat) three days, as apparently there has been a bad fog at home (no planes!). Anyway, it has caused a depression to fall over most of us, which I hope will be returned by the arrival of something tomorrow!
Well, after my last exuberant effort (I was feeling like a million) I feel slightly deflated as there is still no news from Bruce (nearly 3 weeks now) and I have had the stupidest bust up with Ken imaginable! The former may be due to the bad mail system – who knows? The latter arose as follows – Kay and I drove down to Hamburg on Monday with 2 Army people to the 21st birthday party of 2 twins who are stationed here – Ken and David (Kay’s admirer!) were also there, and we arrived at about 7 o’clock – Ken and David had, however, been there some little time, and had passed a good hour in the men’s bar prior to going to the party and Ken was well away. We got on famously till half way through dinner after numerous cocktails, white and red wine, followed by champagne, when Ken’s jokes became too much of a good thing, they were, fortunately, only understood by me and another man who had been in the M.E. and annoyed me intensely. Finally he stuck his monocle (reserved only for special occasions!) in his eye, and started a frightful lineshoot, which infuriated me all the more – especially as we were surrounded by dozens of people we didn’t know. In a party of our own it would have been quite OK. So I gave him a black look and decided to ignore it all – from thence after he refused to be in the slightest bit friendly – in fact, went out of his way to be unfriendly and cold. I was furious, in fact the party was ruined for me, especially as when I quietly asked him if our date in Hamburg on Saturday still stood, he raised his eyebrows and said he was probably going to Wilhelmshaven, but would let me know – I wouldn’t have cared two hoots if I hadn’t been fond of him, but unfortunately I am, and it did hurt rather. However, if he doesn’t cool down, he can just go to hell – and I shall still go to Hamburg on Saturday if Ken Pawson is still going down there. Really, isn’t it all too childish for words?!!
I went up to Kiel on Tuesday for lunch. It really is in the most terrible state – sunken ships, twisted steel, salved boats lying high and dry on the quay, and hardly a building left standing. I lunched on board the Naval depot ship, which was a liner the Germans were building for Turkey before the war. She was sunk and had her stern blown off by a bomb, but we salved her, and she really makes a very good accommodation vessel – However, I was pleased to get back to Plön.
We rode again yesterday, me on the Admiral who was really quite skittish – and I even managed a jump (there was no alternative I hasten to add!) However, it was all very thrilling and we hope to learn properly…
Robin is still being very gay, and says he really hopes to get his transfer soon. He hopes to get out to Palestine next year in time for a spot of trouble. What did I tell you, everyone will land up in the M.E. ere long, with the exception of me, it seems!!!
Another request (I know – I’m always asking for things!) could you please send me out an E. Arden lipstick CINNEBAR or CYCLAMEN – refill will do – as I have lost mine! A letter from M. Dugdale yesterday, saying that she and Eleanor are coming to Hamburg next month – Hamburg knows nothing because I asked them this A.M.! We do track each other about, don’t we?
Heaps of love,
Sheila
Riding the Admiral.
Nevertheless, she is not put off and continues to pursue Ken, despite keeping her options open with Bruce, who is driving her mad with his silence. As the Christmas party season approaches, she is still worrying about what to wear; her scrapbook contains no fewer than seven invitations for the festive season: women were obviously in demand! And a card from Ken signed ‘with all my love and very best wishes’:
Plön
2/12/45
My dear Ma –
Many thanks for your letter and also for the wool, which is perfect, not to mention the hatpin which I only found by accident! I see another parcel has arrived for me today, I wonder if it is from you and whether it is my evening dress. If you haven’t already sent it off, I would like to have it soon, please. Do you think that ancient old floral one would do as a second thing, as I believe we are going to wear them 2 or 3 times and naturally would rather not wear the same dress for every party – I don’t think there’s anything else really suitable for winter as I’ve no intention of wearing the flame one here in Germany, the old floral one is most attractive, but very decrepit and not suitable for bright lights! Still, it suits me – look at it and see what you think. I also want shoes and bag – that you know though.
The usual busy round here – I think I probably told you we went to Kiel on Tuesday: I went again on Thursday, with quite a nice person in the Gunners (ex ME all my proteges are!) we went to see a circus – but minus the animals – at the local theatre and ended up at the yacht club after. It really is a beautiful place. It was the Kaiser’s own yacht club, and the equivalent of Cowes in England. The only thing is that it is nearly always empty, except at weekends, Kay and I dined with the Admiral on Friday, and saw a picture after – all rather boring.
Ken Pawson and an awfully nice friend of his, Donald Yeats, motored me down to Hamburg to meet Ken – unfortunately we started late, ran out of oil and didn’t arrive till after 9:30. As I feared, Ken had spent most of the 2 hours he had to wait in the bar (who could blame him really?) it’s always horrid when you don’t start together I always think – so the party wasn’t the howling success it should have been. The rest of his squadron had a huge party (stag) at a table nearby, and were teasing the life out of Ken – What to make of Ken I really don’t know. I think Caroline’s advice of not to take him too seriously is the best. I’m not really much good at judging people under those circumstances – but it certainly loosens the tongue! Oh well, the next week or two will show! Yes, I have thought of writing to Bruce once and asking him what his intentions are – it’s a thing I’d much rather not do, but would prefer to dwell in patience, till I see him. By doing this I should probably lose my chances with Ken, especially if his regiment gets recalled to the M.E. as they think it will. But Bruce stands out a mile ahead at the minute, having seen Ken in such a light recently. Oh it’s all such a stupid muddle. I am going to wait and see what happens. I’m really feeling very much ‘off’ with Ken in view of his r
ecent behaviour – as you say, those men are all the same, blast them!
Kay and I went for a long walk in the woods this afternoon. No riding today as they tired the horses out ‘hunting’ yesterday! I hope to go myself tomorrow – There’s very little other news – quite a lot of invitations for Xmas parties have come in – I don’t think I shall go to any of the ones that are a long way away.
I must stop and go to sleep. This is rather a jumbled mess, but I am feeling rather mixed up and annoyed, and wish that February was here to solve all my problems!
With lots of love
Sheila
Ken is mad keen to have a son to send to Eton and into one of the best regiments. (I think he was at Eton himself) One minute he’s all for getting married and being a success in the army, the next, never to marry, have a couple of women up his sleeve, and probably leave the army a disillusioned Major. See what drink does for you!!!
Sheila keeps her options open – her mother sends her a book to give Ken, Orientations (by Somerset Maugham I assume, although how this relates to the fact that ‘He reads a lot … is mad keen on Omar Khayyam’, I’m not sure), and she also asks her to send the following cable to Bruce, whatever the cost, ‘I don’t care’. It costs her about £2, which she sends to her mother in Postal Orders. She also sends one to Rosemary as well, and complains that it is ‘1/3d a word! Ugh!’:
LT-COL BOOTH-MASON
STAFF COLLEGE
HAIFA
A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR TO YOU. HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON. LOVE SHEILA MILLS
It appears to be difficult to meet up with Ken over the Chrstmas period, however, as he is based in Hamburg. As Kay is on leave, she is even unable to go to his squadron party; given that they ‘hardly do any work at all’ it is all very boring.
Finally she gets the news from Bruce that she has been waiting for, regarding his home leave. He is hoping to meet Rosemary in Cairo. Ken is still very much on the scene, and preparations for the Christmas parties are underway,
‘Countless invitations still pour in. I really must enter up my diary – we had a good one in the senior officers’ mess on Monday and Wendy gave a farewell party this evening. Tomorrow it is the chief’s and P.O.’s and also the Army Signals, which I feel I must go to – all in the game etc.’
Meanwhile Robin is doing a course at Catterick and she has invited him to stay with her parents in Durham:
Plön
17.12.45
My dear Ma –
… Well, I have had a letter from Bruce, saying he is definitely coming in February, and asking about my leave etc. He says that we must definitely see as much of each other as possible and must really come to a decision as to how we feel about each other with which I heartily concur – So I have written off suggesting that we meet in London, and then he comes up North and stays with us for a bit. I think he will probably be staying in or near London – I must say I am awfully glad the cards are now on the table, as I hope it will make things easier for me to decide – before not knowing quite what was happening it was extremely difficult – at the minute, I do feel that I know Ken very much better than Bruce – as really I’ve seen very little of the latter in the last 2 1/2 years – all rather a fantastic situation, really – I’ve had such a pleasant weekend in Hamburg with Ken, Dennis Coulson (the 2 I/C of the regiment) and Betty Crocker – things couldn’t have been better – I stayed in the Atlantic hotel; Ken and Dennis were there too and it was so nice – we lost the rotor arm of the jeep unfortunately and had rather a job getting another as it is an essential thing to make the jeep go – However, we got one in the end and lunched at the country club, then they drove Betty and me up to Plön in the afternoon, stayed for tea and dinner and drove back to Itzehoe – They are definitely going to Berlin next month – so goodness knows what will happen after that – Ken is coming down here on Christmas Eve and I am very keen to find out exactly what he feels about the situation –
We are all rushing round getting ready for Xmas – the Senior officers have their party tonight – a full dress affair for us – the dentist and I are having a great time cutting one of my wisdom teeth for me – It won’t do it by itself.
I must stop now – sorry this is so scrappy – It does look mama, as tho’ one of your daughters will be “off” soon – but chickens mustn’t be counted ere they hatch, and heaven help me to make the right choice!!
With heaps of love
Sheila
On 19 December she writes again to her mother, clearly anxious about the February meeting with Bruce:
I am going to try and get my leave on the 18th Feb, arriving in UK about the 20th, and have written to Bruce to this effect – he says he will be home anyway at the end of the month, and possibly by the 11th so it should fit in well. Do you think it is a good idea for me to go direct to London and see him there and then return North with him as I suggested to him? If so, I should want a bag of clothes sent down to London, as I don’t want to have to stay in uniform all the time. I think my pale blue woollen dress had better be cleaned, don’t you, so could you please arrange that for me?
She continues:
I have the most extraordinary task on hand, Michael Buxton goes home on Friday, and as he hasn’t a UK license for his dog, and she is having puppies anyway, has left her with me – I have to see them into the world, look after them, and then bring Sally and one of them home on leave when I come in Feb. In return I am allowed one of the puppies – They are rough haired dachshunds very rare in England (I have never seen one and I don’t mean the silky variety) Sally is a darling and has a little house of her own, which I have in my cabin, with her in it now –
Her annual Christmas letter comprises a list of all the festivities, late nights and feasting, with one of the highlights being the Boxing Day hockey match – the photographs survive but are not of good enough quality to reproduce:
Plön
25.12.45
My dear Ma –
A very happy Christmas Day to you – I expect you are on the way to church, if not already there, as it is after 1030 – I find I’ve missed our service here as it was at 0930, but I rose at 7 and went early –
Thank you very much for your last letter – quite by mistake I didn’t send back the postal orders, so all is well – How most generous! The book arrived OK from Allan’s, and was duly given to Ken last night – I only hope he will read it!
We have had a most hectic time this past week, out every evening, on Saturday I had to pack in at 11 o’clock as I was too tired to carry on any further – On Sunday several of us went to a carol service in the garrison church here. Unfortunately all the lights had fused and to begin with all was in darkness save for 2 candles on the altar – However, they did come on eventually, and we and an awfully nice service – afterwards we went to a party at the Admiral’s House, given by the Chief of Staff –
Last night was our own party, and Ken and Dennis Coulson came – To my utmost HORROR Ken produced the sweetest white terrier puppy for me and so now I am saddled with two dogs, and the prospect of several more at any moment! Oh dear – it’s really all most worrying – The party went off very well – it didn’t end till about 2 and Diana and I were enveigled [sic] into going off to the 44th Tanks HQ mess for eggs and bacon and Champagne, off we went, but alas, no eggs and bacon – which was all too disappointing. So after a while we drove back but didn’t land up here till about 0430 – oohh – as I was up again at 7 you can guess I’m exhausted now! Today we have lunch and dinner in the Senior Officers’ mess and a party there after, but I don’t think I shall go to the latter tomorrow, one at the Junior Officers’ mess – Thursday at C mess in Plön – I was also asked to an RAF party up near Schleswig for that day by an awfully nice Wing Cdr, Allan Theed, who knew Aenid in Egypt. He was going to try to come down here to collect me, and fly me back the next morning – but as I’d already said I’d go to this other thing, I can’t go – Rather a pity. Friday, a party at the 44th Tanks, not awfully keen
; they aren’t half as nice as the 5th – Saturday, Ken wants me to go to Hamburg – Sunday nothing, thank heavens, and Monday another Army mess party in Plön – The Corps Commander is giving a large dance on the 5th – all the army from all around will be at that, so you see, life is very full and added to it all, Kay is on leave and so I have quite a lot of work to do –
Yes, I too think B. is an ass not to have done anything ere now – His whole idea while the war was on that being separated it wasn’t fair to either of us, and then of course he didn’t know he was going to Haifa when we last met. It certainly makes me wonder if he really does want me – still, I must be patient till Feb. As for Ken – well I don’t know!
27th
I’m afraid I never got down to finishing this 2 days ago – life has been most gay – in fact, I’m afraid I’m dead sick of going to parties – we had the most enormous lunch party in the senior officers’ mess on Xmas day – everyone sat down to lunch together from 1.30 to 3.30 – we didn’t have turkey – but pork and goose – very good we ended up by playing parlour tricks – and singing wildly – After that I came home and went to bed! In the evening we had a buffet supper and dancing again in the Senior Officers’ mess. Yesterday, back to work, but an extraordinary hockey match ‘men’ versus ‘women’ was played. I made a very swash-buckling pirate, complete with beard and moustache, hair tucked into my beret – all the men were wonderful Grecian tunics of yellow and white – one had an enormous balloon tucked underneath for a bustle – others wore bonnets, turbans, lipstick, and the referee a Wren shirt, with 4 pairs of blackout pants on underneath which he proceeded to divest himself of until he had to make a sudden dash for his car halfway through – some had hockey sticks, others brooms; a blow lamp burned rigorously in the middle of the pitch – someone had a violin – others squatted and played cards, in the end we drove round in jeeps screaming madly – Needless to say the ‘men’ (us) won!