Love and War in the WRNS
Page 30
Hope R. gets on all right with her Winter – we seem to strike suites of young men who can’t make up their minds! Ken is the same – he suffers badly from ex-POW-itis – consequently he can’t make up his mind what to do from one day to another. He seems to have made up his mind that he doesn’t want to get married, but is in no way sure of himself. On the other hand he is in love with me – but he can’t make up his mind. He’s frightened because he’s poor and this new pay thing11 is even worse than before – He even has no confidence in himself – I find it so hard to get to the root of the trouble and find out what really is the matter. We went to Travemünde on Saturday for the night and had quite a pleasant time, but this uncertainty seems to cast a cloud over everything. He has grown rather morose which consequently has a bad effect on me – so we aren’t the gayest of couples after our hilarious times before Xmas – He was going to Brussels tomorrow, but has cancelled it and is coming up here for a dance in Plön and on Saturday we hope to meet in Hamburg for a Tank party at the Country Club and stay at the Atlantic. I wonder what we will do?
You have made no comment on my proposal to join Control Commission – I hope to go down and have an interview next week – I only hope they will take me, as I don’t want to come home one bit – !
Some of the people are horrible but doubtless they will improve later on – if they accept me, I want to transfer direct without coming home, as it will be much easier –
Robin is going off either to Italy or Austria any day now – everything most involved as his original appointment has fallen through. He seems to be in great demand, and at one stage was asked to be 2nd Cd. of 2nd Tanks, much to his surprise – it appears now that he will only probably get a squadron and become Major again, but considering Ken, a regular tank man, hasn’t been able to achieve this himself, he’s very lucky to do this as a newcomer to the RAC – what influence and friends will do! Must stop now as I am going for a walk – It’s a heavenly day –
Heaps of love,
Sheila
p.s. I’ve just remembered it’s your 30th anniversary some day soon (I never know which day!) Many congratulations – now you must have one of those bottles of Champagne – I insist – a very fitting occasion – I can easily get more – Now mind you do!
S.
At the dance in Plön, with Ken.
Poor Sheila – the champagne is laid down for the wedding, and she is still keeping Ken and Robin in play although, as her next letter reveals, life is far from satisfactory on the boyfriend front. She manages to derive some enjoyment from her work at least, while waiting to hear about her application to Control Commission:
Plön
25.3.46
My dear Ma –
What’s the news from here, now? I told you I’d heard from Bruce, didn’t I? If it’s not one it’s the other! Ken has now been playing up and Sandy has completely deserted me for another mess member – this latter I don’t mind about a bit – but it seems a bit strange. However, to revert to Ken, he cancelled his Brussels trip and came up here for a dance last Thursday. We had such fun and both thoroughly enjoyed it – As you know, we were meeting in Hamburg at the weekend – there was to be a party and we were going to stay in the Atlantic. When he came up Ken said the party was off as there was no accommodation in the Atlantic and that he thought he’d have a quiet weekend for a change. I was disappointed naturally, but said no more. Later I chanced to ring up Betty Crocker in Hamburg, who mentioned that Ken and Dennis had been arranging a party for her and 2 other Wrens in Hamburg for Saturday night! Was I mad? And now Ken has had the cheek to ring me and ask me to another do in their mess on Wednesday, to which he said 3 Hamburg-ites are going – I have been distant and vague and certainly don’t intend to go. Transport is almost impossible, anyway.
I had a most interesting day yesterday and entertaining too. I went out to lunch with the French Naval Liaison Officer in Kiel. A sumptuous affair – wonderful food and drink – I felt absolutely bloated after it – Then Priscilla and I were taken on to tea with half the German nobility. Princesses, counts, countesses, generals etc. I must say it was most interesting and I did enjoy it very much. They were all charming. Well mannered and cultured. Interesting and amusing to think that their sons had all been arrant young Nazi officers. Photographs of them emblazoned the walls all round – we were principally entertained by a General who had led the Germans against us in SW Africa many moons ago. A dear old boy. His wife and daughter, also charming, were also there, and a newly demobbed colonel who was chopping wood on the estate. Conversation was naturally limited – they all have a very narrow outlook and no appreciation of what is going on outside at all. They are all evacuated and there are about 90 people living in the Schloss, of course all denounce the Nazis madly, but would have been among the first to acknowledge them had they succeeded. All spoke English well, and most had been to England. Yes, it was most interesting. In the evening I went to a party at the Admiral’s house, which funnily enough I enjoyed immensely – the food and drink again, were excellent.
Riding has started again in full swing. I have been out a lot in the last week and this morning before breakfast – but it was too much for me. I fell off and have got acute lumbago!!
Any news of Rosemary? I really must write to her – I wonder if she saw Bruce – Hope all will be well in that direction.
As you can guess I feel a bit depressed with life, but doubtless something will materialise. I hope to hear about control commission next week.
With much love
Sheila
Still smarting from Ken’s duplicity, she ‘refused to go to Ken’s party on Wednesday. Nothing would induce me to go on principle – I won’t be two-timed!! However, I think (and hope!) we shall meet this weekend – he suggested it, and rang me up today, but I was out.’
Obviously put out by Sandy Sibun’s perfidy, she adopts an equally high-minded posture over the next slight as she notes on 28 March: ‘I am at the minute having a most amusing time – there is a big party in Kiel tonight given by Sandy’s mess from which I was omitted – apparently they are now one girl short – and (can you CREDIT it?!!) have asked me if I will go to take her place!! I had great pride in saying, No, I was doing nothing, but wouldn’t dream of going! I have now invited a guest to dinner at the time when les girls are going to be picked up – and I hope they all feel darned uncomfortable – really – what do people think I am?’ Sandy was married as it transpired, so she was not averse to getting her own back.
Ken seems to have wriggled back into her good books as she goes on a short leave with him to Brussels in early April:
Plön
6.4.46
My dear Ma –
… I expect you are wondering what I was doing in Brussels – well I will tell you – to begin with I will say that I think I was foolish to go, but everyone else here has been off somewhere or other, and I wanted to as well – Kay was up in Copenhagen with the hockey team – everyone was away – Ken rang up and said he was going to Brussels on short leave – would I like to go too? Like an ass I said yes, if I could get a pass – I could get a pass – I went – The journey was long and tedious, and I didn’t like Brussels much – we quarrelled rather and in fact didn’t really make it up till the day we came back – I have never known anything quite like the prices – absolutely fantastic, they were – On the way back we had 24 hours in the train and passed through Ruhr district, I have never seen anything like the bombing – for hours and hours we passed nothing but flattened out towns and factories – and when we slowed down, hordes of small children crowded round the train begging for food – It wasn’t a pretty sight.
Her anxiety about her future is in no small part due to the fact that the barracks is closing on 15 April and she has nowhere to go. Originally she thought she was ‘possibly’ staying to do an ‘interesting and unique job – Staff Communication Officer to NOIC Cuxhaven – the snags at the minute are (a) there are no Wrens there at all – only 4 or 5 civ
ilian welfare women workers in the whole place and (b) NOIC has to be asked whether he approves having a girl Signal Officer over his men’ – but it was not approved, as she not allowed to be the only woman on station:
[I am] completely in the air in every respect and feel rather depressed – I should like to make a clean sweep of everything but it’s difficult to know how to set about it – The one thing to avoid as far as I can see is to be a Wren in England, which would be just deadly – If I can get in to Control Commission I should like to go to Berlin or Austria if one gets a choice – I wonder? Anyway, I shall probably land on your doorstep with all my bags in 3 weeks time!
To add insult to injury she discovers that her application to join the Control Commission was sent to England, ‘so there is nothing to be done for me out here’. In fact, the military government was in the process of reducing staff, but she is determined to pull all strings possible, despite the welcome news that she is to be transferred to Kiel, in a secretarial capacity, dealing with German property. Ever optimistic, she says:
Soon I hope to get my Control Commission idea sorted out and if it’s OK, I shall then transfer – If not, it will give me a chance to look round for something else – The barracks close down tomorrow – all v. sad – I am going to a horse show – Gymkhana in Itzehoe with Ken – and go to Kiel on Thursday.
Sheila, as mess secretary, was in charge of organising the farewell party; an event dutifully recorded in her album with a copy of the invitation and formal photo:
Plön
11.4.46
My dear Ma
We gave a most successful party on Monday organised by Mills – it consisted of a cocktail party for about 120, then a dance with buffet for about 60 afterwards – The Admiral and General came to say nothing of old Brigadiers etc. We got most of the food from Denmark – drink was good, gin cocktails and champagne cocktails – Our staff are wonderful all ex-Hamburg-America line stewards who know exactly what is required – the food they made was just wonderful, too. The German band from the barracks played and we had the dance in the club room, which is a huge and very pretty room in the block where we live – we decorated the room with sprigs of young trees and daffodils. The whole thing was a great success – I asked Ken, but we had another of our famous rows – (I always seem to quarrel with my boyfriends!) However, we made it up in the end – the trouble seems to be that certain things I do annoy him – but instead of telling me, he bottles it always – Of course, he annoys me, but then I overlook these small things, which to him are mountainous – I used to be like that with John Pritty, but have grown out of the habit, Ken, having been a POW for 4 years, is that much behind me in age, even tho’ he is 29, and still a very young in many ways – I feel sorry for him, because unless he grows out of these ways, he will be very unhappy –
So, my position seems to get worse and worse from every point of view!! Heaven forbid that I return to UK for keeps!
Dance card for the farewell party at Plön, organised by ‘Mills’.
Another farewell party on 6 April; Sheila is seated with Ken on her left.
Ken stayed up for ten days and they did all kinds of things: ‘dancing, walking, rowing and even went to a Gymkhana given by his Bde [Brigade] – on Easter Monday – The stupid thing is that we really don’t hit it off much as we’d like to so I’m not quite sure what we are going to do – Our characters are really most similar – perhaps that’s why.’
She is finally seeing that he is probably not the one for her.
❖❖❖
Sheila is sorry to leave Plön, but felt she was getting in ‘a rut’. She has no idea what the social life will be like in Kiel, but they brought their horses with them and the swimming and sailing in summer might be ‘quite fun’. They are living in a large house ‘midst trees and bomb damage (which is frightful)’. She loves her new room – ‘it’s rather small, with light furniture, green carpet and looks into the morning sun – It is next to Diana and we have a small balcony – Beyond the bomb damage is the harbour – on either side, both houses are one dreadful conglomeration of rubble – funny this one missed it. People live in the basement of one of them.’
A new place requires new clothes, and she is soon making lists of things for her mother to send:
26.4
I think that I shall have to do a transfer of clothes – I would like sent out 3 cotton dresses – red floral, coloured stripes, green beige button through, my silk blue and white print, blue housecoat, old red Syrian sandals, white wedge shoes and white cleaning stuff. Also, pink cardigan – Yes, I should love the red airtex too. There is another high level dance at the Corps Commander’s mess on the 6th so I shall need another evening dress – I do wish you hadn’t sent the blue to Rosemary, as I need a change badly – I think I had better have the red brocade this time – I also need badly some hair grips from my gray case and some shampoos – Please could I have the last 3 things by return as I need them rather urgently?
P.S I have thought of more things I need – one, face powder – a box of Cyclax from my cupboard please – Damn – can’t think of the others.
Just remembered – I sent 2 parcels (reg) home with material for dresses – could you pse send them back unopened and they won’t have to be paid for again –
8.5.46
It looks as if I shall be here for some months yet, so please, I should like my things fairly soon. Oh, I got the shampoo and clips. I was most pleased with them.
10.6
Thank you for my evening dress and cardigan which I believe will have arrived as I see there is a parcel for me to collect.
It’s not all one-way traffic, however. From Denmark she sent almonds, nail varnish and swansdown powder puffs. In Germany she is buying wellingtons, sheepskin gloves, a tin of tongue and cheese for her mother, as well a ‘beautiful’ Roquefort for her aunts Rose and Dorothy to share.
In Kiel her mood lifts; social life kicks off well and she has to work hard which I think she enjoys. The yacht club seems to be the social hub, and she, Diana and Betty ride frequently. The change of scene also gives her a chance to think more clearly about her relationship with Ken. Rosemary seems to be having similar problems with her boyfriend, Winter:
What’s happened to R? … How is the big romance progressing? I feel that if he doesn’t do anything now he never will – You know what these men are! I am frightful – I can only have interest in one person at a time and thus never bother about all the people around – so that when I suddenly find all is not well in that direction (vis Ken) I discover how few people I really know or care about. I get in a very bad habit of not bothering about people who don’t particularly appeal to me, which is really a very bad thing indeed, I’m sure it’s better to be everybody’s friend, than to keep one’s circle select and small as I seem to do! I really must turn over a new leaf!
Which is indeed what happens.
Kiel
8.5.46
My dear Ma –
… I can’t remember when I last wrote but I think it must have been last week – life here has really been very gay and promises to be so in the future. I went out 5 nights running, and could have gone tonight as well, but felt I must get on with mess a/c’s and sordid things like that. We have a mess meeting tomorrow, and I want to prepare for it, as I shall have no time in the morning, as I shall be working. I am kept hard at it from 9 till 6, quite a change. My boss is a delightful old boy, most hard working and conscientious – but he does talk! He’s also a great tease and never lets an opportunity pass. But I do like him and enjoy working for him very much. The Corps Commander’s party in Plön was on Monday and Diana and I went up with Capt. Morse in his car. En route, the petrol tank dropped off and we had to get another car! The party was a great success. I knew such a lot of people there, I found. I wore the red check again, for want of something better. It has been much admired – I must say I like it too – The guards have a very good Officers’ Club at a place near here which I went to on Saturda
y. Food and drink are just excellent. It’s frightfully select and only a few regiments are allowed to go – the joke is they seem to let all kinds of women go – I believe half of them are Germans or displaced persons!
A nice letter from Robin this week – he seems settled in up there and is doing a lot of riding in Gymkhanas too. I always thought he must be good, but I think he really must be first class.
I think the Ken affaire will die a natural death. I am sick of being treated in a casual sort of way. It appears to be too much of an effort for him to come up here to see me. (It takes 3 hours) and his gliding seems to be all important to him on Sundays. So I damned if I’m going to rush down to Hamburg to meet him, as he suggests. I’ve turned a blind eye to many things but I can’t go on doing it. I’m sure there must be better fish in the sea somewhere! Rosemary seems to be getting on like a house-on-fire. I so hope he comes up to scratch – I rather feel that if he doesn’t now he never will.
We have been all decorated up for VE day – flags all over the ships – I wish you could see our new house – it is such a nice one, and could be even nicer if the furniture fitted in better. We have a beautiful Steinway piano, too. You don’t notice the terrible bombing all round now that the trees are out – at the minute we have no curtains – very awkward in the bathroom! …
Lots of love,