Secret Pleasure

by Lora Leigh

  “He knows,” Alyssa whispered, so weak. She had never been so weak.

  “What does he know?” her mother questioned then. “What, Alyssa?”

  “Spain … he knows.”

  “Don’t worry, darling.” A tear slipped from Margot’s eye as she touched Alyssa’s cheek gently. “He’ll not tell a soul. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Her mother had given her life to protect Alyssa, and now, Sebastian may well do the same.

  As the ambulance raced into the emergency entrance, Sebastian’s eyes drifted closed, but his grip on her hand remained until the EMTs rushed him from the emergency vehicle.

  Following, she found Shane waiting as she went to step from the ambulance, his hands gripping her hips and lifting her out, placing her gently on her feet before they rushed into the emergency entrance behind the EMTs.

  Alyssa was only barely aware of the crowd that followed them. And it wasn’t a small crowd.

  “Shane, your grandfather’s en route.” The Texas drawl in the male voice barely registered with Alyssa as she watched Sebastian disappear through a restricted-access entrance. “Father’s already been in contact with the hospital administrator and Mother’s prepping to assist the surgeon. He’ll pull through this, Shane.”

  “Of course he will.” Shane’s arm tightened around her, though, holding her to his chest. “He’s too damned stubborn not to.”

  It was then Alyssa lifted her gaze to stare at the man beside him. Several years older, he could have actually been Sebastian’s twin, they looked so much alike. She would have suspected he was the mysterious Lucien if it hadn’t been for the Texas accent.

  “Alyssa, this is my brother, Murphy Connor,” Shane introduced them. “Behind him, my father, Gavin, and my sister, Lark. Our mother, Francesca, is with Sebastian in surgery.”

  “Francesca.” Alyssa nodded. “I met her a few years ago. Hello, Gavin.” She smiled back at the black-haired giant she’d met just after her marriage along with Shane’s mother. “It’s good to see you again.”

  “You as well, my dear,” Gavin assured her, that Texas drawl so similar to Shane’s. “Take her to meet Sebastian’s parents, Shane—”

  “We’ve met, about five years ago.” Alyssa eased from Shane’s hold as Sebastian’s parents moved closer. “Tabitha. Alberto.”

  “My dear.” Tabitha had been crying. Her eyes were red, her cheeks wet, as she embraced Alyssa gently. “You are as pretty as always. Sebastian chose well, did he not, Alberto?” Stepping back, she made room for Alberto, who embraced Alyssa with gentle warmth.

  “He chose very well.” Alberto smiled before glancing to Shane. “As did you, Nephew.”

  “They chose very well,” Shane’s father agreed from his side.

  “Alyssa.” A familiar voice drew her gaze as another of Sebastian’s family members stepped to the group.

  “Lucien.” Surprise filled her voice as the tall, black-haired older version of Shane strode toward her. “I wondered if you were here as well.”

  Wrapping his arms around her in a firm embrace, Lucien De Loren patted her shoulder gently before easing back. “Ah, as always, my dear, you are a gentle light within the darkness,” he complimented her.

  “And you’re still a poet in denial,” she responded, her voice husky as she stared at Shane’s and Sebastian’s families fondly. “It’s good to see you again.” Her lips trembled. “I only wish—”

  “As do we, darling,” Tabitha assured her as Alyssa drew in a deep breath as emotion threatened to swamp her. “I know my ’Bastian, though. He’ll be grumbling like the horrible patient he is and informing us all it is time for him to go home before we know it. He’s strong, that son of mine.”

  Alyssa looked around curiously. “Is Sebastian’s grandfather here?”

  “He’ll be here soon,” Alberto sighed. “Knowing Sebastian has been wounded, we cannot keep him away. Be warned, though, he is difficult.”

  Alberto sighed. “The jet returned to Barcelona to pick him and ’Bastian’s sister, Angel up. They will be here sometime tomorrow, the pilot assured us. He’ll drive us all crazy. Sebastian especially.”

  Alyssa nodded, glancing toward the doors Sebastian had disappeared through as she heard her father and Landra greet the family members.

  Shane’s mother, a premier trauma surgeon, was with Sebastian, Alyssa reminded herself. She didn’t know why the family had shown up, but she was thankful they had.

  She’d met them all at one time or another. None of them had mentioned knowing about her, but she’d sensed they had. Their quiet warmth, the familiarity in their gazes, had been unmistakable.

  She glanced toward the doors again. What she wouldn’t give to be able to turn back time to keep this from happening.

  “This wasn’t your fault, Alyssa.” Her father moved to her then, reaching out to touch the side of her head in a soft caress. “You couldn’t have stopped it.”

  “I can’t bear this.” She shook her head, the guilt tearing at her. “I can’t bear for him to be gone because of me.”

  “Alyssa, this is not your fault,” he repeated firmly. “Stop taking the guilt of every action on your own shoulders.”

  Alyssa shook her head, feeling Shane’s arm tighten around her, his warmth sinking inside her.

  She’d already lost so much, had to wait so long. She was tired of waiting, tired of holding herself back to ensure the men she loved had the time they needed to return to her. She’d followed her heart, followed a dream, and she’d waited.

  “I’m okay, Dad,” she said, swallowing tightly, feeling as though she were smothering amid so many concerned family members.

  “Shane, Alyssa looks about ready to fall down. Let’s find a seat, get some coffee.” Gavin grimaced wryly. “Perhaps not good coffee, but coffee all the same.”

  Someone had taken the time to ensure it was good coffee. Several fresh pots along with sugar and a variety of creamers had been placed in the private waiting room they were shown to by a young nurse.

  The coffee was kept fresh, sandwiches and snacks brought, but there was no word from surgery. An hour passed, then four. And Alyssa knew it was taking too long. There was no news, not even a hint of how Sebastian was doing.

  She couldn’t stand the wait. She could feel her stomach clenching, nerves crashing through her system until she felt as though she were shaking apart from the inside out. It wasn’t tears threatening to spill, but every drop of coffee she’d consumed while waiting.

  Rising to her feet, Alyssa moved to the bank of windows that looked out to the parking lot. There Falcone, Raeg, and Summer were talking. Summer, with her usual flare for drama, was using her hands to emphasize a point. She probably drove Falcone crazy on a daily basis, and poor Raeg, she gave him hell every time they were in the same room.

  There was definitely a lot of history between the southern belle and her father’s chief of staff. One of these days she was going to have to ask Summer about it.

  Turning away from the windows, her head lowered, Alyssa wrapped her arms over her breasts, frowning as distant memories teased her mind but refused to come into focus. Summer beside her bed. Summer was crying, but Alyssa was as well. Not the quiet, gut-wrenching sobs coming from her friend, but silent, miserable tears. Why was she crying with Summer? She couldn’t remember a time she’d ever done so.

  There was her father; he wasn’t crying, but he was telling her something she couldn’t quite understand. Distant memories of Margot sitting next to her, and those really confused her, continued to tease at her mind until she thought she’d go insane.

  There were simply too many people around her. She couldn’t seem to think for the quiet background conversations and the anticipation each time a nurse was glimpsed moving up the hall.

  Glancing around, Alyssa found Shane with Lucien and Murphy, deep in conversation. Lark sat alone close to the entrance to the room texting on her phone. Moving to her, she asked the younger girl to let Shane know she was heading to the ch
apel. She needed to think, to recover the memories she’d pushed back as she’d pushed her emotions back.

  At Lark’s silent nod Alyssa left the waiting room and moved down the hall, pushing the door open to the Chapel. Candles lit the interior, the quiet, solitary atmosphere more peaceful than she’d expected.

  Moving into one of the pews, Alyssa let that peacefulness wrap around her, over her. Wiping a hand over her face and breathing in deeply at the ache tightening her chest and the constriction at her throat.

  Tears were for grieving, she reminded herself, and there was so much she’d never allowed herself to grieve over.

  “Now, I need you to make me a promise.” Margot leaned close, the tears on her face dried now, though her eyes still glistened with moisture. “Promise me you won’t cry over me, Alyssa. Remember, tears are for grieving only. There’s no reason you should ever grieve for me. I don’t deserve your tears.”

  “I always loved you,” Alyssa had to force herself to speak, it was so hard. The fever clouded her mind so much, made everything seem like a dream. “You were always my momma, Margot. No matter your faults.”

  Margot seemed to freeze for a moment before she lowered her head slowly and wiped at her eyes.

  “I don’t deserve it,” she finally muttered.

  “You made me strong,” Alyssa sighed. “Taught me how to be patient. I’ve had to be patient.…” She had to wait for Shane and Sebastian, as much as she’d hated it.

  Margot’s head lifted as she leaned forward slowly and kissed Alyssa’s brow. “I have always loved you, squirt,” she whispered. “You were so tiny, so fragile, I never knew what to do with you. But I have always loved you.”

  Margot didn’t look at her again. Straightening, she left the bedroom as Alyssa tried to call her back, tried to make her return so she could explain why there would be a reason to grieve.

  “Don’t go…,” she whispered as the fever dragged her under once again. “Don’t go.…”

  *

  “Come on, Alyssa, don’t go like this.” Gia stood at the door as the driver carried Alyssa’s luggage to the car.

  The other girl, suntanned and dressed in cutoffs and a bikini top, leaned against the door frame, arms folded, a frown on her face. “At least tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Nothing’s wrong, Gia.” Alyssa looked around, making certain she hadn’t forgotten anything.

  Then again, the apartment had been mostly cleaned out sometime yesterday while she slept, waiting for Shane and Sebastian. Everything was gone, even the little white test stick she’d left in the bathroom for them. Even the pictures of them were gone. Every last one. There wasn’t even a memory for her to take with her.

  “Something’s wrong. First those hunks that sneak in here completely disappear; now you’re leaving and you weren’t even going to tell me good-bye. That’s not like you.”

  “I would have stopped by your apartment,” Alyssa lied, wondering when Shane and Sebastian would finally stop her, keep her from leaving. They weren’t going to let her leave. She knew they wouldn’t.

  “Yeah, I hear you.” Gia was still frowning at her as Alyssa moved to the doorway.

  “It’s been a great summer, Gia,” she said softly, painfully. “I’ll see you back in D.C.”

  Stepping past her, Alyssa had almost turned down the hall when Gia’s door opened. She barely glimpsed the young man who stepped into the hall. She’d paid him such little attention. And she hadn’t wanted to remember leaving the apartment she’d shared with Shane and Sebastian.

  But she remembered him now.

  Gia’s apartment. He’d come from Gia’s apartment. Steven Richards had been there. She’d seen him only a few times, though, perhaps twice the whole summer. She’d never seen him while Shane and Sebastian had been at the apartment, though.

  Gia would have known he was at the estate. She would have known he was there because he was her brother.

  “Brothers.” Gia grimaced as she and Alyssa walked from the beach toward the brooding young man standing next to Gia’s scooter, his back to them. “They’re a curse.”

  Alyssa had laughed and turned for the beachside apartment building while Gia had strode across the sand to her brother.

  Her eyes jerked open as she flinched at the realization and the memories as they slowly emerged. She had to find Shane.

  “Going somewhere?” Gia asked as Alyssa moved to rise from the bench and rush back to the waiting room.

  Alyssa jerked around instead, staring into Gia’s somber face and glimpsing the handgun she held, pointing at Alyssa.

  “Gia…”

  “I knew you’d remember who Kevin was eventually,” she sighed, her smile a little shaky. “He was my older brother, ya know? Illegitimate little bastard, my father used to call him. But I loved him.” Her voice trembled as she spoke quietly. “And Sebastian killed him.”

  “He intended to kill me, Gia. He wouldn’t have stopped. You know that.” Alyssa glanced to the weapon before looking up at Gia then, her gaze holding the other woman’s. “He wouldn’t have stopped.”

  “But he would have.” Certainty marked Gia’s expression. “I would have gotten him to listen to reason, Alyssa. He loved me. He would have listened if I’d had just a little more time.”

  “You know better than that, Gia.” Alyssa could feel her nerves stretching to the limit as she watched Gia’s gaze begin to glitter with anger.

  “If they hadn’t killed Gregory. Or if they had just let the money go,” Gia ground out furiously. “He would have let it go, Alyssa. It was Harvey’s idea, but Kevin did all the work. The cameras, the overseas accounts, everything. Harvey just married you and lived off his daddy’s money. Kevin didn’t have that option.”

  “He would have killed me, Gia. That was what he intended to do tonight.” Alyssa had a feeling there was very little that would sway Gia Bennett from whatever course she’d set for herself. Alyssa just had a very bad feeling that course was not in her own best interests.

  “I would have made him listen.” Sorrow filled Gia’s voice, her gaze. “He used to be so kind and caring.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Until he met Harvey. That was why our father sent him to Spain that summer. To separate them. Harvey made him…” Gia frowned. “He made him mean, Alyssa.”

  “Gia, he tried to kill me. Not just once, but twice.” If the other girl couldn’t see him for what he was, then there was little hope for her. “Sebastian is now fighting for his life, because of your brother. Do you expect me to feel sorry for him?”

  Gia simply stared at her with tear-filled eyes and a miserable expression.

  Unfortunately, Alyssa didn’t know her nearly as well as she knew Summer. She had no idea how to handle Gia while she had a weapon trained on her. Hell, she wouldn’t have any idea how to handle Summer if she had a weapon trained on her, either.

  “Gia, you need to talk to Falcone,” she finally told the other woman softly. “He’ll tell you what needs to be done.”

  A short, bitter laugh left Gia’s lips. “You think Falcone is such a nice guy, do you, Alyssa?”

  “I think he cares for you and Summer,” she answered quietly, trying to remain calm. “And I don’t think he’d turn his back on you.”

  Gia turned her gaze just enough that she wasn’t staring into Alyssa’s eyes but kept her in her periphery. The thoughtful expression on her face would have given Alyssa hope if it weren’t for the anger that flashed in the other woman’s gaze.

  “He would easily walk away from me because of this,” Gia murmured, still looking away from her.

  “What do you intend to do, Gia, that would cause Falcone to turn away from you?” Alyssa asked her carefully.

  Gia’s gaze moved back to hers, her eyes flat and hard.

  “We need to leave here.” Gia wasn’t even breathing hard. She was calm, cool. “I don’t want to spill blood in God’s house, Alyssa. That would only compound my sin.”

  Alyssa was anything but cool and she knew it. She wa
sn’t scared; she was pissed.

  “Do you think I’m just going to walk out of here with you and let you kill me for your brother, Gia?” Incredulity raced through her. “Do I actually give the impression of stupidity?”

  A grin quirked at Gia’s lips. “You managed to snag both Shane Connor and Sebastian De Loren and hold them for eight years that the three of you were apart. I think you’re anything but stupid. But you aren’t always wise, are you, Alyssa?”

  “What about you, Gia? You think this is wise?” Her brow arched curiously. “Walk away now. You’ve broken no laws; you’ve done nothing that Falcone even needs to know about. It doesn’t have to end badly.”

  “You talk as though you have the upper hand,” Gia murmured, giving the gun a little wave. “I don’t believe that’s the case.”

  “I believe it is.” Allowing a smug, confident expression to fill her face, Alyssa glanced over Gia’s shoulder.

  Gia stilled completely, her eyes narrowing on Alyssa.

  “Just lay the gun down,” Alyssa suggested softly. “It can be over just that easy.”

  “I’m not stupid, either.” Gia smiled slowly.

  “There the two of you are.” Summer headed toward them, frustration filling her expression. “Gia, Falcone needs you.”

  Alyssa watched Gia’s eyes. Resignation filled her gaze, somber grief and acceptance.

  “Don’t do it,” Alyssa whispered. “Don’t do it, Gia.”

  “I hate that bitch!” Gia turned, swinging the gun around.

  “No!” Alyssa yelled as she moved, pulling her feet to the bench and launching herself over the back of it at the other woman.

  Alyssa caught Gia in midturn, but the force of her collision against the other woman’s shoulder sent the bench tilting back, rocking, then finally crashing to the one behind them.

  Instinct had her reaching for the gun, grabbing Gia’s wrists, and trying to use the force to knock the gun from her hands.

  She could hear Summer, but she was damned if she could make out a word of it.