Inspirational Christian Fiction Boxed Set: Embers and Ashes Series (Books 1 - 4)

by T. K. Chapin

  Pulling my car into a spot in the church’s parking lot, a flood of memories came rushing into my mind. This church housed memories that spanned decades. Beth’s baby dedication, me leading the men’s Sunday school class, and our family growing up. Susan and I even led the youth group for a few years. We were so active and a part of the church family back in our younger years. Then it all changed. It was a slow fade, starting when we shipped Beth off to college. We stopped volunteering as much, and then we started to cut our church attendance to only Sunday mornings, eventually stopping altogether.

  Getting out of my car, I headed for the front doors of the church. The parking lot was rather empty that day, and a chilly breeze was blowing in from the south. I pushed my hands into my jeans as I hurried my steps across the pavement.

  I felt nervous that day. Not because I had a beef with God, but because I knew how out of control my life had gotten without Him steering it. God was a big part of my life at one point, and for many years, and now, He had a special little box in the recesses of my mind. It had only been a couple of months since I’d attended church, but I hadn’t let God steer my life in over a decade.

  Going inside, my nerves settled as I made my way to pastor Conner’s office. Church always had a calming effect on my soul. It was the one place in the world that made sense to me.

  Pastor Conner’s door was open as I approached it. I stuck my head in. He motioned me in and stood up, saying, “Come in, come in.”

  Stepping into the room, I reached across his desk and shook his hand. The top of his desk was littered with notes, Bibles, a calendar and even a few sticky notes with scribbles on them that I couldn’t make out. “You look busy,” I said. Glancing over my shoulder back toward the door, I said, “I can come back.”

  “No, no, Rick. This is what I like to call organized chaos.” He laughed as he moved a few of the Bibles and notes to the side. “How are you?” he asked, taking a seat.

  I laughed. “Yeah, it’s a mess. I’m fine.” I sat down.

  “I mean it. How are you, Rick? This isn’t a greeting where you just say ‘fine’ and keep walking. I’m genuinely interested in how you’re doing.”

  “Well . . .”I replied as I processed the question. Scrambling through my thoughts, I couldn’t really give an answer, so I shrugged.

  “Let’s try this.” The pastor put his hands on his table and said, “What hurts?”

  I furrowed my eyebrows.

  “You gotta open up, Rick.”

  “Okay . . . my wife left,” I replied. My nose scrunched up as I sniffed. “She just up and left, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  The pastor pulled one of the Bibles from the stack he had and set it on the desk. He opened it up and spent a couple of minutes searching, thumbing through the pages. Then he stopped, cleared his throat, and asked, “May I read something to you?”

  I nodded. “Go ahead. But I don’t think it’ll do much.”

  “You still believe in the Bible and God, don’t you?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I replied, annoyed by his accusation. “But I’ve been through the Bible multiple times.” I laughed. “You know that.”

  “Well, the power is in the Word, Rick.” His eyes went back down to the pages and he began to read. “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:28”

  I tightened my lips as I furrowed my eyebrows at the pastor. “This isn’t the problem, here.”

  He set the Bible down on the desk. “Go on.”

  “I lied to her. Betrayed her. And it went on for years.”

  “Mind me asking what you did?”

  I hesitated for a second, but I knew I needed to confide in someone. So I spilled the beans. “I drained our savings account from eighty grand down to ten. Then I hid it from her. I was gambling it away.”

  “Why’d you feel like you could do it?” Pastor Conner asked, bringing his hands together. His expression was soft, and he seemed genuinely interested and not just trying to pry.

  “I spent my whole life serving. I have served Spokane as a firefighter, my family as a dad and husband, and God as a volunteer in the church. I just wanted one thing for myself. I genuinely enjoyed it, even when I wasn’t winning. It was fun, and if she didn’t know, I felt it wasn’t hurting anything. I know that sounds stupid.” I shook my head. “It just got away from me and I couldn’t control it anymore.” I felt relieved to admit it out loud.

  Pastor Conner sat there silently, nodding as I spoke to show he was listening. “Can I ask you something, Rick?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  “Why the other night? Why were you so harsh? Cut off? Because you were going to gamble?”

  I shook my head. “My gambling problem took a turn for the worse a while ago when I played poker with a couple of shady individuals. I was keeping it from her because we were endangered.”

  “Sin has a way of leading us down paths we never intend on travelling.”

  “Yeah. You got a good point there, Pastor.” My ear itched and I rubbed it between my index finger and thumb as I asked, “What do I do?”

  “You have to rebuild.”

  “That was seventy thousand dollars! I can’t rebuild that account! I’ve been trying, and that’s what got me into the shady stuff!”

  “I’m not talking about rebuilding your savings account. I’m talking about rebuilding your marriage.”

  “I’m old. I can’t rebuild.” I shook my head and looked off toward the wall. “Susan and I are too old for that kind of thing. Maybe we could do that when we were younger , but I don’t see that happening at our age.”

  “You’re old, so you must rebuild,” he said, correcting me.

  “What?”

  “Susan is your wife, Rick. She adores you and always has.”

  “I don’t see that right now,” I replied.

  “I know,” he said. “You have to make her see it with your actions, and you have to tell her everything. Let her know your heart as you just did with me.”

  “I don’t think she’ll be receptive, and I honestly don’t blame her.”

  “Come on, Rick. We’re talking about Susan Alderman. She’s been to every woman’s conference this church has ever hosted and has counseled several dozen women in the church over the years. If anyone can get through this, it’s you two. Susan’s good for it.”

  “You didn’t see how much I hurt her.”

  “I did. I was there when you left her in the dark. At the hospital, and then at the house, I saw it all.” He leaned in. “I also saw a woman who loves you despite all of that. She wouldn’t be in pain right now if she didn’t love you, Rick.”

  “If you think it’s possible, I’m willing to try. What do I have to do?”

  Shuffling the papers around on his desk, he pulled his calendar out from the pile and set it on top. Clicking his pen, he said, “What’s a good day of the week to start counseling?”

  “Changes weekly. I can just text you what day ahead of time for the following few weeks.” I paused. “Well, I’m retiring soon, so really any day is fine.”

  The pastor set his pen down and his eyes widened. “Really? Retiring?”

  “Yep. I got early retirement because of budget cuts.”

  “That’s great news! When’s your last day?” he asked.

  “November 27th.”

  “Oh wow, so next month. That’s great. So we’ll stick to text messages until then.”

  “Okay. For the next few weeks, Thursday will be fine,” I replied, smiling as I watched him mark down the next few weeks. “I’ll talk to the wife about coming. I’ll do it today.”

  CHAPTER 16

  When I arrived home later that morning, Susan’s car was gone. I headed to the back of the house to relax on the deck. It was a little nippy outside, but the cool air was refreshing. Taking a deep breath, I kicked my feet up in front of me and relaxed, settling myself in the chair. For the first time in a wh
ile I felt lighthearted and hopeful. The pastor thought we had a chance to work things out.

  I watched two birds sitting up in a tree in the neighboring yard. They were chirping away as they jumped from branch to branch. A smile came onto my face as I recalled bird watching with little Beth when she was younger. We had a robin make a nest in our backyard, and we spent hours watching the mother fly back and forth between the yard and the nest to feed her young. Suddenly, my phone rang, pulling me from my thoughts.

  It was Cole. I said, “Hello.”

  “Hey. You know Fred Foster?” he asked.

  “Doesn’t ring a bell. Why? What about him? Who is he?” I asked, sitting up to a more alert position.

  “He’s a cop. Anyway, he found a lead on your guy, Lincoln.”

  “Oh, yeah? What’d he find out?”

  “He’s wanted in a few different states along the western coast. He’s a high time drug dealer and a wicked bad guy. Fred wanted your number and I said I’d get back to him on it. Wanted to make sure that was okay with you first. I know how you are about your personal information.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine. Give it to him.”

  We hung up. Fred called me within a few minutes.

  “Alderman?” he asked.

  “You can call me Rick. This Fred?”

  “Yeah. So this Lincoln guy . . . when and where did you play poker with him? It wasn’t in your report.”

  “Ahh. It was in the Valley at a warehouse. I remember he had pallets of diapers.”

  “Diapers?”

  “Yeah. Diapers.” I glanced out to the guest house as I thought another moment about Lincoln. “He also had this bouncer guy, his name was Bear. Big, scary looking guy. Bald with a beard that would make a lumberjack jealous.”

  “Okay.” I could hear him write stuff down on a piece of paper. “He had an RV too. He took me inside that at the casino.”

  “Which casino?”

  “North Bend, the one up in Airway Heights.”

  “Okay. Did you see the plates or know the model of the RV?”

  “No. I wasn’t thinking about that kind of stuff. I had a gun pressed into my back. I was trying survive and protect my family.”

  A crashing sound suddenly came from behind me on the deck. I turned and looked. It was Susan. She had tripped over a clay pot and shattered it. The flowers and dirt were everywhere. It was a mess. It matched the expression on my wife’s face quite well. She had tears running down both sides of her face.

  “What was that?” Fred asked.

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Okay. Rick, is there anything else you can tell me about this Lincoln?” Fred asked.

  I kept my eyes on Susan. “No. That’s all I know.”

  “Okay. I’ll update you directly on anything we figure out.”

  “Thanks, Fred.”

  I hung up with him and got up from my seat. Susan shook her head and started to cry more. “Why couldn’t you tell me, Rick?”

  I grabbed her arms and said, “I was scared. We were all in danger, and I was just trying to get it to go away.”

  She shook her head and cried again. After a few moments, she was able to speak. “Why were you able to tell whoever that was on the phone with such ease, but not me?”

  “That was a cop. They’re going to find him and put him away. They have resources and can do something besides worry!” I began to say. “It was to protect you, Susan.” I looked her deep in the eyes to help communicate to her my passion as I continued. “They knew about Beth and the grandkids.” I shook my head as my eyes welled with tears. “I had to do it the way I did. That’s all there is to it, Susan.”

  She walked past me and sat down in one of the chairs on the deck. She folded over into her palms and cried.

  “What can I do to fix this?” I asked, coming over to her and resting a hand on her shoulder. “Just tell me what you need.”

  She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “Never have done it to begin with?”

  “That’s not even possible!” I snapped at her. Guilt immediately crushed me at my harsh tone. I tried to retract my anger, but it was too late.

  “You’re never going to change,” she said with a soft and hopeless tone. It hurt.

  I took in a deep breath and focused on my breathing. Keep breathing. Stay calm to think clearly, like Ron said. Thinking about my time with the pastor earlier that morning, I looked at her.

  “Pastor Conner reminded me that I need to love you like my own body. The passage in Ephesians. Somehow, I had gotten so wrapped up in myself that I had forgotten to show you how much I care for you, and I’m going to work on that.” I continued to rub her shoulder as I bent my knees to get at eye level with her. “I love you, Susan.”

  “You talked to the pastor? When?” she asked, startled.

  “This morning, and I went ahead and set up counseling every week with him for the both of us.”

  “I’m not going,” she replied bluntly. “There’s no reason.”

  Someone could have busted my knee caps right then with a baseball bat, and I’d welcome the pain from it compared to the way Susan made me feel in that moment. I was devastated. “Really? No counseling?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “We’re too old. We’re not just a couple of young, dumb kids with years ahead of us.”

  “Well, I’m going with or without you . . . but I would love for you to join me.” Standing up, I left her on the deck and went inside when she didn’t say anything else.

  Susan kept herself cooped up in the guest house for the rest of the day. Making use of my free time, I did a few loads of laundry and repaired the leaky faucet in the bathroom. By the time the dinner hour rolled around, I found myself hating the silence in the house. I headed down to Heidi’s diner to see if I could catch Ron and have dinner there.

  When I got inside the diner, I was surprised by how packed it was. Every seat up at the bar had a butt in it, and there was only one empty table in the whole establishment—and that was only because a man and a woman were getting up to leave.

  Still at the door, I watched the couple make their way to the register to pay for their meals. Penny was there, taking their money.

  “What’s going on?” I shouted toward Lucy over the noise of the restaurant.

  She looked up from the register and flashed a smile. Pointing up to the wall behind her, I glanced up at the sign. It was prime rib night. Twelve dollars got you a ten ounce slab of meat and a baked potato. Smiling, I nodded to her. “That explains it.”

  She pointed over to the empty table and said, “Take a seat, Ricky. I’ll be there in a bit. I got two tables with food ready and then I’ll be over, so don’t get huffy.” She handed the gentleman at the register his change and receipt.

  “Understood,” I replied. Weaving through the restaurant and around the servers, I made it over to my booth. As I took a seat, a small child—maybe two or three—popped his head up from his seat in the booth next to mine. His little eyes stared blankly at me. His mom told him to turn around and I grinned. It made me think of Beth being that age all those years ago.

  “Coffee?” Penny asked, coming up to my booth a few minutes later.

  “Nope. Going to have dinner.” Looking up at her, I saw past her and into the kitchen through the serve window. It was a different cook. “Where’s Ron at?”

  “He took the night off,” she said, seeming to be holding back.

  “What’s going on with him?” I asked, looking intently into her eyes. “He okay?”

  “He’s okay,” she replied. “Just a cold or something.”

  “Yeah. Crazy he’s missing prime rib night.”

  “Yeah, he’d be here if he could. So what’ll it be?” she asked, pen ready to write on the pad in her other hand.

  “I’ll take the Chicken Parm. To go.”

  “Not staying?” she asked as she put the pad away without writing on it.

  I smiled. “That’s what ‘to go’ usually means, rig
ht?” We both laughed. “No, I’m not staying. I’m going to see Ron.”

  “He’s living with his son, Brackon, F-Y-I.”

  “When did that happen?” I asked.

  “Back a few months ago. He wanted to spend more time with Emmy and Joy and figured that would be the best way to do it.”

  “Okay.” I stood up. “How long on that chicken parm, you think?”

  “I’ll get it done quick for ya.” She left my table and headed to another table. I watched for a moment as she grabbed their empty soda glasses and headed up to the front to the server’s station.

  I walked over to the register and leaned against the door frame that led out of the diner as I waited for my meal. Looking across the lively restaurant, I thought about Ron. I sure hoped he was okay. I watched families and other patrons enjoying their meals, and it made me smile knowing that Ron was responsible for building such a wonderful place.

  Not long after, probably fifteen minutes or so, my food was ready. Penny brought it out of the kitchen in a white plastic sack. She set it down on the counter and I stepped up to the register to pay. She rang it up and took my money. As she handed me the change, she said, “Take care of yourself, and tell Ron he’d better get to feeling better.”

  “The other cook not that good?” I asked half-jokingly.

  She said, “He’s fine. He’s just no Ron McCray.”

  Smiling, I put the change in my pocket and tipped my chin to her as I grabbed the plastic sack off the counter. “Have a good night, Penny.”

  The drive over to Brackon’s house was a bit unnerving. Ron was the closest thing to a father figure I still had in my life. I prayed on the way over that he was really okay like Penny insisted he was. My plate didn’t have much room for extra drama. It was already spilling over the edges like an over-stuffed turkey on Thanksgiving.

  Pulling up to Brackon’s house, I turned off the car and headed up the walkway to the house. The house wasn’t in a nice neighborhood, and it fit right in with the other dives on the street. The burned up grass in the front yard was a clear indicator to me that Brackon hadn’t changed since I last saw him five years ago at a barbecue that Susan and I were invited to by Ron. Something drove me nuts about the guy, and really any person that lived life aimlessly. People like him always make me think of leeches. They move from host to host and leech off whatever victim they can attach themselves to. Brackon was a special kind of leech. He attached himself to Ron and the government. Ron paid his rent and bills while the government kept him fed. There wasn’t any problem with people who need help here and there, but he was one of the people who abused it.