Moments of Time

by Gloria Cook

  As he expected, Julian, who was of an amiable nature, was at ease with Perry and they were chatting, laughing occasionally. He could just make out the low voices of the two women. He pictured them. Polly, fair and refined, would be in a prominent chair near the fireplace, her back straight, her neat ankles crossed. Selina would be standing up, perhaps prowling about, commanding the greater presence in the room. There would be frostiness between them. Likely, they were weighing each other up as rivals for his interest.

  He lingered another minute or two then went in, head up, handsome in his dinner suit, determined to stay in charge of the occasion. ‘Please forgive me for the delay. Had something urgent to attend to,’ he said in the polite way of a host. ‘Hope you’ve introduced yourselves.’

  A glance at the women showed him his first mistake for the night. Figures of class in fashionably flat, tubular dresses, Polly and Selina were sitting side by side on a sofa, sharing in a serious tone their approval of the move in parliament to allow women to divorce unfaithful husbands.

  Selina gave him a moment’s attention. ‘We’ve hardly been aware of your absence, Ben.’

  She seemed calm but Ben saw the sparks in her extraordinary violet eyes, enhanced almost magically tonight by the same colour shadow on the lids. She was offended by his rudeness at not greeting her, at not fawning over her as he had done during the lunch at her house, and she was probably angry at the addition of the other guests. She was behaving as if she had never desired him. But she had been on heat that day in her bedroom and only Jim Killigrew’s presence had stopped them moving on quickly to full intimacy. Well, if a cat and mouse game was to be played it would be played on both sides, and if they did finally end up in bed it might make it all the more pleasurable. Her only attraction was sexual, but it was a strong, compelling attraction.

  ‘Well, it’s time for cocktails. What would you like, Selina?’ Ben said at the drinks table.

  ‘I only drink champagne. Polly’s going to show me over the house after we’ve eaten, if that’s all right with you, Ben.’

  So one of her tactics was to ignore him and befriend Polly? ‘Feel free. Polly’s responsible for much of the decor. I often lean on her for that sort of advice.’

  ‘All wise and excellent choices,’ Selina congratulated Polly. ‘No clutter, nothing dark. The blend of Moorcroft pottery and modern furniture goes well with the antique Brussels tapestries.’ Back to Ben. ‘I adore those internally decorated vases. No flowers in them – don’t you like flowers? There’s a tantalizing use of mirrors in the room, and out in the hall too, I noticed. I like mirrors, the broader and longer the better.’

  ‘I noticed that you brought nothing modern with you to Ford House.’ Ben had poured the champagne and was mixing a dry martini for Polly.

  Selina got up and came towards him. ‘I’ve never bothered with possessions or the latest fad. I’d wear the same frock every day if Perry didn’t, very sweetly, arrange for someone to run up a few things for me.’ She met Ben midway on the brick-red Tabriz carpet and curled her crude fingers over his hand that was carrying the drinks on a small silver tray. ‘Tell me, are all your staff stupid or ugly?’

  He was unprepared for the swift change of subject. ‘I beg your pardon?’

  ‘Your driver looked shifty and took several attempts at his name before we could understand what it was. He didn’t have a clue how to cope with Perry’s crutches. He smelled of the farmyard and kept telling us that’s where he usually works. He told us he has an imbecile brother, who also works for you. He was off to the pub, he said, so I don’t want him driving us home. And I’ve seen more flesh on a cadaver than the woman who let us in. And the other day in the village I saw one of your farm workers and was amazed to learn it was a woman. She looks and dresses like a man.’

  For one horrible second Ben felt he could hit her for her offensiveness and he got the uneasy feeling she wouldn’t mind if he did. ‘Cyril Trewin and his brother Albie, and Agnes and Eliza are good, honest workers. It’s all that matters to me.’

  The lights in her eyes leaping, Selina picked an imaginary speck of fluff off the shiny lapel of Ben’s jacket. ‘Oh, I’m not insulting you, Ben. All the ugliness around you only serves to make you look more handsome.’

  ‘Can I have my drink, Ben?’ Polly demanded, growing huffy at the delay.

  ‘Take no notice of Selina, Ben. Nor you, Polly,’ Perry said, grinning at Polly, who was glaring at his sister. ‘She’s a terrible tease.’

  Suddenly Selina was throwing up her arms in a giveaway gesture. ‘You shouldn’t take anything I say seriously, Ben.’

  Perry’s words and her gaiety worked together to take some of the steel out of Ben’s mood. He had allowed the miserable events at Roskerne to colour how he felt about everything, especially Selina. Looking at her now, confident and arresting, amusing and flippant, drinking down his expensive champagne, he felt she was worth going after, but only when it suited him.

  As if reading his mind, Selina lifted an eyebrow and inclined her head at him in her perky, beguiling manner. At an angle that only he could see she ran the tip of her tongue along her lower lip.

  Then she took Polly’s martini and dawdled back to her. ‘I do so admire your hair, Polly. Perhaps you’d be good enough to let me have the name of your stylist. Mine’s usually a mess and I can’t get it anywhere near as sleek as yours.’

  There seemed something sincere and confidential in the way she was speaking to Polly, and Ben watched amazed as his lover, not realizing the other woman had just propositioned him, fell again under her spell. Their heads close together, they discussed the fashion merits of the Duchess of York’s wedding dress – the royal nuptials a recent event – and Ben wondered if this was a ploy on Selina’s part to put Polly off guard or whether she simply enjoyed the sisterhood of modern women. Selina was a diverse mixture. Fascinating and alluring she may be, but she was also a little rough at the edges and, he sensed, merciless with men.

  Polly reached for her sequinned, fringed evening bag and jotted down the details of her hairdresser for Selina. Ben could see Polly had relaxed now she was re-established as the lady of the house, even though she did not live here. She was usually sharp and he had not thought of her as being gullible before, but she was exactly that if she thought Selina meant to be her friend.

  So why did he want a woman like Selina? Was casual sex with her really a worthwhile goal? A few years ago his greatest longing was to fight for king, country and empire. He had been prepared to sacrifice his life. Now his life held little meaning. Confusion and melancholy got a grip on him again. He had upset all of his family. Some of his family had rejected him. He had outgrown his passion and need for Polly. And no matter how electrifying the other woman in his drawing room was, there had to be something more to life than looking forward to bedding her, which was a foregone conclusion.

  He wished the evening was over but he must go on acting the perfect host. Perry asked for whisky and soda, being no cocktail drinker. Julian only drank mineral water owing to his heart condition. Ben mixed a martini for himself and joined the men, struck at how vital and healthy Perry looked and how macabre and deathlike Julian was. Julian was tired, having travelled back from London after consulting a heart specialist, a journey that had taken four days up and back by motor car, his frailness requiring his chauffeur to make several stops. His paper-thin skin seemed translucent, highlighting rivers of indigo veins, his pale eyes were darkly undershadowed and his lips were an odd mauve colour. He looked like a ghoul in a silent motion picture, old and wizened, and it was hard for Ben to think of him being the same age as himself. He had recently become perpetually breathless and, like Perry, required a bed downstairs.

  Ben felt guilty at not making himself available for the Boswelds’ arrival – Julian would have felt obliged to explain about his condition to them. ‘The London trip’s knocked the stuffing out of you. Are you sure you’re up to this?’ he whispered in Julian’s ear.

  Juli
an’s character was such that there was little he minded. ‘Could do with a snooze soon, actually. Think I’ll have to retire as soon as we’ve eaten.’

  ‘What was the name of the chap you saw?’ Perry asked.

  ‘Beatty. An American. He knows his stuff. I asked him to give it to me straight.’

  ‘What did he say?’ Ben was dreading the answer, dreading the inevitability of Julian’s fate. He might be weak in the body but his strength of mind and caring disposition had rescued Ben from his misery and subsequent humiliation of being in a drunken state after learning of his permanent partial blindness.

  Julian replied matter-of-factly. ‘Said he was amazed I’d lived this long. Don’t be sad for me, Ben. I didn’t travel up expecting to learn of some new medical breakthrough. Only did it for Polly’s sake. I’ve had a good life. Have managed a few years more than many an unfortunate fellow who perished on the battlefields. I’ve had the pleasure of dear Louisa these past five years and I’ve the comfort of knowing Polly will have her for company after I’m gone.’

  ‘You’re a brave man,’ Perry said, too much of a realist, too insightful to offer insensitive platitudes.

  ‘He is,’ Ben’s voice surfaced, choked and throaty.

  ‘If I may be permitted to move on to something different but not entirely unconnected,’ Perry said, shifting to an angle where he could look straight into Ben’s face. ‘Ben, have you seen anyone or had word from Ford Farm today?’

  At this, Selina halted in mid-sentence and gazed at the group of men. Sensing her gravity, Polly did likewise.

  ‘No, and I’m not likely to. The last time I was spoken to by Alec it was accompanied with a repeat of a threat to blow my head off. Let’s talk of other things.’

  ‘You really ought to go there, Ben,’ Perry persisted.

  ‘Why? Nothing would induce me to.’

  ‘Take Perry’s word for it please, Ben,’ Selina said. For the first time it seemed she was pleading rather than issuing an order or being suggestive.

  ‘Why? Tell me what’s going on? Has something happened?’

  ‘It’s not for us to say any more.’ Perry was grave, unshakeable. ‘You must go there. Go tomorrow. Or you may regret it for the rest of your life.’

  Ben stared from the Bosweld brother to the sister, then at Julian and Polly, as if they might somehow supply the answer to this puzzle. Julian gave a weak shrug of his scrawny shoulders and Polly shook her head.

  Getting up, Ben stalked about the room, thinking hard. Hurt at Alec’s ludicrous accusation that he had ill-wished – an ancient superstitious belief – harm on his family, consequently causing Jenna to be taken ill, and outraged at Alec’s bloody-minded unforgivingness, he had left Roskerne swearing to never make things up with his eldest brother again. The situation Perry and Selina were hinting at now could only concern Jenna, which had come up immediately after talk about Julian’s heart condition.

  ‘It’s the baby, isn’t it? My God, don’t tell me she really did stop breathing that night.’ He gazed at Julian’s waxen face and sunken, wedge-thin body. Was this what Jenna had in store? ‘Oh, bloody hell! Jenna! Poor Emilia.’

  Selina was there, wrapping an arm round his waist. ‘All grievances should be put aside on occasions like these, Ben.’

  ‘But Alec’s unlikely to agree to that. I’ll telephone, ask if I can see Jenna.’

  ‘No, don’t do that. Just go there. Your other brother’s been sent for.’

  ‘What?’ Ben rubbed a hand down his face, pulling his good looks out of shape. ‘But she can’t be…? No! Oh, my God.’

  ‘They’ll need you, Ben.’ As tears glittered in his eyes, Selina wound her other arm round his neck and brought his head down on her shoulder. She whispered, ‘And you have us now. You have me.’

  Chapter Ten

  Emilia was outside alone in the front garden, in the dark.

  She was feeling numb and deadened inside, in such a state of anguish and disbelief that when someone suddenly loomed up in front of her she was barely startled, unable to comprehend who it was until he spoke.

  ‘Emilia, please don’t send me away. I had to come. How are you?’

  ‘Oh, it’s you, Ben. I thought I’d imagined a motor car stopping in the lane.’ Her voice was low and dull, then high-pitched and frantic, for Ben’s presence at this late hour reinforced the terrible truth she had learned today. ‘Perry’s told you about Jenna?’

  ‘He mentioned something. I guessed how serious things are. He said I should come tomorrow but I couldn’t wait till then. I got dinner over with as quickly as I could and drove the Boswelds home. What’s happening?’

  From the glow of lights thrown out from the upstairs and sitting-room windows Emilia saw his hair was messed up, speaking of his hurry here. ‘It won’t be long. I’ve come outside to give Alec a couple of minutes with her alone then I’ll go in and we’ll stay together until it’s over. She looks so peaceful, as if she never really belonged in this world. She’s like a little clock winding down. I can’t… can’t believe it’s happening.’

  ‘Is Tris here?’

  ‘Yes. He and Winnie are taking care of the boys.’

  ‘Can I go in to say goodbye to Jenna? Would you mind?’

  ‘I’m glad you can put aside your bitter feelings, Ben, but Alec’s taking it hard. You’d better go. I must go in. I’ll send word…’ Her voice loaded with tears she turned to leave him.

  He grabbed her arm. ‘Have you had Jenna christened?’

  She nodded. ‘The rector came this afternoon.’

  ‘And he’s inside now?’

  ‘Yes. Waiting with my parents. They’re very upset.’

  ‘Everyone’s there but me. Alec never will forgive me, will he?’ The pressure he had on her arm became insistent. ‘Emilia, Em, you have to believe me. What I said in Winnie’s summer house was never meant to harm your baby. I’d never think that way. Never! I was just expressing my hope that Alec, and you too, I admit, would be taken down a peg or two, that’s all, I swear. You do believe me, don’t you?’

  She gazed up at him, his face half in shadow, half in golden light, and saw him as handsome as a mythological hero and as fraught as a small, friendless boy. ‘It’s horrible when you’re accused of something you haven’t done, isn’t it, Ben? Something that should never have been thought of, let alone said.’

  ‘You’re talking about me accusing you of causing my blindness, aren’t you? Oh, God, Em, how ever did we get to this? We used to be so close.’

  ‘I can’t deal with your feelings now, Ben. Maybe one day we’ll talk about it.’ She pulled away from him and ran towards the door. Stopped and turned round. Ben had followed her part of the way. He paused on the lawn, stooped, forlorn and dejected. He was holding out his hands to her, quite helpless.

  Despite her heartbreak and what she still had to face, she sensed his aching loneliness. That he had been feeling this way for years and it was even worse for him now, shut out of his old family home, misunderstood, shunned, unforgiven. ‘Stay here if you want, Ben. You’ll know when she’s gone, the windows will be darkened.’

  ‘Thanks, Em. It means a lot. And, Em, I’m sorry about Jenna. Sorry for the way I acted towards you all that time ago.’

  Emilia nodded.

  Then she went inside and upstairs to the room where Jenna had been conceived, where she and Alec would soon have to endure saying goodbye to her.

  Ben’s eyes never left their bedroom window until an hour later when the lanterns were turned down low.

  Chapter Eleven

  Louisa Hetherton-Andrews was pushing a doll’s pram down the winding garden path at her adopted aunt’s house, in Kenwyn Church Road, at Truro. Tripping over the long clothes she was dressed up in, tottering precariously in a pair of ladies’ high heels, she halted every few steps, not to recover her balance but to fuss with the covers in the carriage-built pram and keep her reluctant ‘baby’ imprisoned inside.

  ‘Stay in there, Kitty! I’m getting v
ery cross. You have to go to sleep. I’ll not tell you again.’

  Polly was watching her, proud and doting, through the open door of the conservatory while she worked on a piece of tapestry. ‘Be careful with the kitten, Louisa, darling. Perhaps you should let her out and take one of your dolls for a walk instead.’

  ‘She likes it.’ Louisa looked back over her shoulder, her defiant smile and shiny blonde curls hidden by the large picture hat she had donned.

  ‘You may keep her in there only a little longer,’ Polly wagged a finger.

  ‘Mrs Hetherton,’ the housemaid’s voice broke through the balmy quietness of the summer afternoon. ‘It’s Mr Harvey for you, ma’am.’

  Polly put her tapestry aside. ‘Alec, how good to see you. I take it you’ve time for a cold drink? Ivy, bring some iced mint tea, and lemonade for Miss Louisa, please.’

  ‘Won’t be a tick.’ A lanky girl with a willing demeanour, the housemaid scuttled away.

  ‘Your new girl seems to have a nice manner,’ Alec remarked, coming to sit on another of the Regency cast-iron, cushioned seats, where he was closest to the fresh air. The sultry environment with its exotic plants rearing up everywhere, including a copious vine, was too stifling for him. He stretched out his long legs.

  ‘Ivy’s a treasure, Alec. Can’t tell you how pleased I am to have her. She’s mature for her fifteen years and is bright and hard-working. Her mother’s just got herself remarried to a man with a brood of small children and there wasn’t any room for poor Ivy, but I’ll see she’s all right. I’m paying her an extra shilling a week so she’ll not be tempted out of service.’ Polly found Alec wasn’t listening to her tale of domestic arrangements. His attention had veered to Louisa, as it always did on the numerous occasions he had called here in the past three months.

  ‘Hey, little lady down the garden,’ he called out. ‘Aren’t you coming to say hello to me?’