Moments of Time

by Gloria Cook

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jonny was having the best of times. When he wasn’t leading his gang on some riveting adventure he was haymaking alongside his uncle, or playing chess or stripping down the motor car engine with him; the workings of an engine fascinated them both. Always they joked and larked about.

  This morning they had got up long before daylight to attend the difficult birth of a female kid. Uncle Alec had saved both its and the nanny goat’s lives – to Jonny’s mind – and he had been allowed to choose the kid’s name: Minnie, because it looked silly and cantankerous like Mr Miniver, the geography master at his new school. Then they had shared a secret breakfast of thickly sliced toast spread with ‘thunder and lightning’ – golden syrup and clotted cream – and had cut hugely into a pork pie and destroyed a perfectly set strawberry blancmange, and Aunty Em had scolded Uncle Alec over them leaving the kitchen in a mess and for eating food earmarked for later in the day. Uncle Alec had crept up behind her while she had set to with a dishcloth and he’d grabbed her and kissed her and she had smiled and stayed in his arms. While it embarrassed Jonny to see affection pass between his father and stepmother, he liked Uncle Alec and Aunty Em to show it. It made him feel good and made him feel safe, as if he was back in the old days when he had been so happy living here.

  Now he had finished his allotted jobs in the yard, feeding the pigs and replenishing the food stocks where necessary, he was shortly to join his uncle and the workforce in the fields, to help ‘pook’ the hay into small mounds roughly four feet high as protection against rain. But wanting, as he occasionally did, to be alone, he slipped away on his Aunty Em’s bicycle.

  Whizzing down the lanes, he leaned the bicycle against a field gate, climbed up on top the hedge and took his slingshot out of the waistband of his shorts. He had already filled his pockets with hard round stones and he aimed them with keen accuracy at white dead-nettle-heads in the hedge across from him. In this way he soothed the rumblings in his soul, easing some of the frustration at not being able to live at the farm permanently.

  He wondered for a moment if his father was moving goods into the shop in Bank Street at Newquay. His father had said he’d take him all over the country to look for suitable stock. That promise at least appealed to him: there had been no opportunities for him to travel far yet.

  His pockets empty, he jumped down off the hedge, gathered up more stones, then scrambled up through the tough grasses, long stalks of lacy cow parsley, and pink and red campion of the opposite hedge to shoot the stones back across the lane. He had emptied one pocket when he was forced to stop as someone was approaching. It was Selina Bosweld on her bicycle, an upright, almost daring figure, like a heroine in an adventure comic in cape and nursing sister’s uniform. He hoped she would ride straight past.

  ‘I say, brilliant shots.’ She halted, one foot resting on the dusty lane. ‘You should suggest a contest of the sort at the sports day.’

  There was something about this woman that made Jonny feel strangely disturbed. He was too young to recognize the first beguiling stirrings of interest in the opposite sex. ‘Shan’t, grown-ups are stuffy when it comes to this.’ He held up the sturdy Y-shaped piece of hazel tied with an elastic trigger.

  ‘I suppose they are and with good reason at times. You will be careful with it? You could take out an eye or cause a serious head injury with a wayward shot.’

  Jonny crinkled his strong dark face at her. ‘Of course I’m careful. Jim taught me how to use a slingshot ages ago, when I first went to live with my Uncle Alec. I lived at Ford House before that. I suppose you know my mother died there.’ It had been a long time since Jonny had felt the grief of losing his mother and now he was embarrassed by the wobble in his voice.

  Selina leaned her bicycle next to his. ‘Do you want to talk about her?’

  Suddenly he did. This woman was straightforward and unlikely to feed him a load of superstitious twaddle; on this score he differed from his Uncle Alec. In one mighty leap he was down beside her. She put a hand on his shoulder and ushered him to the field gate, where they looked down over the rolling field to the one beyond it and saw the small shapes of Alec, Edwin, Jim, the other farm workers and some casual labourers – men, women and children, including Will and Tom, about to start work.

  Jonny had not realized how the time had run on and now he only wanted to join the haymakers. He’d hate for Uncle Alec to feel he was lazy or disloyal after the clever manipulation of his father. And he did not want to be seen talking to a female, especially one who was considered a ‘smasher’ in the village. With his ample height and adult ways he was often considered older than his age and he might end up as victim to the sort of teasing that would make him squirm. And he knew other things about Selina Bosweld. Jim wouldn’t like any such teasing. He could be mean these days and there were times when, to his shame and consternation, Jonny felt a little afraid of him. He moved away to where he was hidden from sight of the haymakers behind an overhang of foliage and brambles.

  Selina joined him, smiling kindly. ‘Go ahead, Jonny. What’s on your mind? Don’t be shy.’

  He suddenly didn’t want to confide in someone who was little more than a stranger, but he had committed himself and there was nothing for it but to go ahead. He prayed Selina Bosweld wouldn’t keep him talking for long. ‘Well, people say my mother haunts the house. Many times I’ve looked up at the windows to see if she’s there. She never is. Have you seen her? Felt her presence?’

  Selina put her arm round him. He felt uncomfortable, then he remembered how kind she had been to Wilfie Chellow, how her compassion had changed the villagers’ impatient attitude and fear of him. She had given Wilfie back his dignity and the poor chap rarely went off his head anymore. First and foremost she was a caring nurse. ‘I can’t say I have, Jonny. I think your mother’s resting in peace. Don’t take any notice of silly rumours.’

  ‘I won’t, Miss Bosweld. Thanks.’ He wanted to repay her for her kindness and thought he should give her a warning. Any day now she would be caught out doing the thing he had accidentally witnessed in the woods and everyone would hold a different view of her then.

  ‘Are—I mean,’ he hoped his face wasn’t burning too brightly. ‘Will you, um, be seeing Jim later today?’

  ‘There’s no special reason why I should.’

  He wanted to protect her and dared to look into her face. She gazed back from her dark violet eyes. They were nice and peaceful but if she were found out they would fill up with tears. ‘There’s something—’

  She let go of him. ‘Well, I must get off home. I’ve been on duty all night and I’m tired. Goodbye, Jonny.’

  She was going. He sighed in relief. His warning was too delicate to voice and why get himself involved with something that was none of his business anyway? But she was a kind lady. When she reached her bicycle, he found courage and blurted out, ‘I know!’

  She strode back to him. ‘What do you know, Jonny?’

  Her face had turned hard. The delay had angered her. Jonny’s nerve went. As she came closer and closer to him, he retreated until he could go no further, his back coming into contact with the brambles. He wished himself anywhere but here. He was out of his depth and sinking fast.

  ‘Answer my question, Jonathan Harvey.’ She was looming over him.

  ‘Well, I know… about you and Jim. What you do… together.’

  ‘We don’t do anything, Jonny.’

  ‘But I’ve seen you. I only want to warn you—’

  ‘Threaten me, you mean?’

  ‘No! Look, you’ve got this all wrong. I won’t say anything.’

  She pushed on him until the thorns were scratching his back through his shirt. ‘You’d better not, boy. You’d cause all sorts of trouble for me and it would upset my brother and Libby. Is that what you want?’

  Jonny shook his head. He was afraid of her now. ‘No, I swear. I only—’

  ‘If you ever say anything, then I’ll…’ She put her lips close to
his ear. Jonny paled and trembled at her harsh whisper. ‘Remember, boy, I’m a nurse. I know exactly how to do it.’

  When she had gone Jonny raced across the lane and tossed himself over the other side of the hedge. Out of sight, for the first time in years he cried like a young, frightened child. Never had he felt so wretchedly alone. He couldn’t even go to Uncle Alec about this.

  * * *

  Emilia was on her way down the lane to issue the dinner invitation to Perry and Selina and she was carrying the Boswelds’ weekly supply of eggs and dairy produce. She also had some of Tilda’s scones in the basket, knowing Perry liked them.

  Something whooshed past her and she missed her footing and nearly fell into the ditch. ‘Can’t stop!’ Selina bawled over her shoulder from her bicycle. ‘Need my sleep. If you’re going to my house, don’t disturb me. I’ll see you another time.’

  ‘Careless cow,’ Emilia mumbled, righting herself. She watched as Selina splashed through the ford, obviously unconcerned about wetting her shoes and soaking the hem of her nurse’s dress. ‘Well, you won’t stop me from seeing your far more pleasant brother today.’

  Perry was at the breakfast table in his dressing gown, reading the newspaper, and looked up in alarm as Selina blazed into the house. ‘Where’s Libby?’

  ‘She’s out for a walk with Vera Rose and Casper. What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing! You get off your lazy backside, get dressed, fit your artificial leg on and try to walk properly, damn you! There’s nothing stopping you except something in your mind. You know that. Whatever it is, come to terms with it. Sometimes I hate you!’

  She stamped up to her bedroom, slamming the door so violently Perry thought the ceiling would come down on top of him. He sighed deeply in vexation. She would be in a foul mood when she resurfaced and it would escalate into an even worse one if he didn’t get on and obey her orders. He knew he would have made better progress with the prosthetic if he received the right sort of encouragement. Selina was excellent at physiotherapy but her ministrations were relentless and tiring. She bullied him throughout each session. Sometimes, he felt he hated her too.

  Getting to his bedroom on his crutches, he sat up on a high-seated chair and strapped on the wooden limb. Gripping the arms of the chair, he hefted himself up, bearing his weight on his good leg.

  Now to take that first vital step forward away from the safety of the chair, without Selina being there to cajole or support him.

  A rush of blood sounded in his ears and he felt sick. As if he was on a precipice and about to plunge down a bottomless pit. He closed his eyes. Fight it! Don’t give in. Just one tiny step. It’ll hurt like hell, but no matter. It will be good to walk again, for Libby’s sake and your own.

  ‘You can do it, Perry. Look at me.’

  Instinctively he smiled. It was Emilia’s wonderful voice, with its lovely evocative intonation. Soft and encouraging, just for him. He opened his eyes and saw her in the room. She was holding out her hands to him. And she was smiling. He concentrated on that hopeful, beautiful smile. He didn’t feel the step he took. The next one. Or the next. He didn’t know if his movements were strong or shaking or if the prosthetic was rubbing his stump. All he was aware of was that he was getting closer to her. Closer. Wonderfully closer. He knew then he was in love with her. Hopelessly, deeply, gorgeously in love with her.

  ‘Keep coming. That’s right. You’ve nearly reached me. Oh, Perry, you’re doing it!’

  He kept moving towards her smile, her lovely face, her waiting hands.

  ‘Perry, reach for my hands. Keep coming. Take hold of my hands. I won’t let you fall.’

  ‘I know you won’t, Emilia.’ His outstretched arms felt heavy but he was able to obey her. When her hands were taking hold of his he felt as if his whole body was floating on air.

  Emilia backed away and pulled on his hands, taking him with her. She was laughing now. ‘I’ll take you to the bed. I think you’ll need to sit down at any moment. You mustn’t overdo it.’

  Suddenly he was falling but he was not alarmed. He was taking her with him down on to the bed. And he was clinging to her. Laughing with her. Holding her. He didn’t ever want to let her go.

  It was the first time in months that Emilia had felt happy, and it was due to the triumph she had witnessed and been a part of. She stayed where she was, lying on her side next to Perry, hugging him. ‘I feel I’ve just seen a miracle.’

  ‘You have. Thank you, Emilia.’ He was bubbling over with joy. He looked into her eyes. ‘Thank you so much. You’re wonderful. You’re just what I needed to break through the barrier that was holding me back. I feel as if my life’s started all over again.’

  Alec and Ben had been the only two men she had been this close to. She knew it was wrong to stay like this, but she couldn’t stop herself revelling in the feel of his strong arms, and gazing into his handsome face. When he touched her face, when he kissed her cheek, when he softly slid his warm lips to press over hers, she told herself it was the affectionate kiss of a friend.

  She sat up but did not move away from him. ‘You’ll need someone to make you a well-deserved cup of tea after this. I saw Mirelle walking off towards the village with a basket. She was looking at a shopping list. Can she read English?’

  ‘A word or two. She’ll give the list to Mrs Eathorne. It’s so good to see you, Emilia. I thought you’d be toiling in the fields.’

  ‘I’ve slipped away from the kitchen, I’m helping with the food today.’

  ‘Pity you’re not at a loose end.’

  ‘If I’m not back in time then Tilda, Sara and my mother can manage without me. I was going to take the crib and beer on the cart to the fields but Sara seemed desperate to swap places with me. I’m hoping it’s because Wally Eathorne from Druzel Farm will be there; neighbours always get together to help each other out with the haymaking. Wally is trying so hard to get Sara to notice him but Jim stamps on anyone who tries to get close to her. Poor Sara, she’s so worried about Jim. You know it’s Selina he’s seeing?’

  Perry nodded. ‘So it’s still going on? Selina said she was going to finish it. Don’t worry about it, Emilia. I’m sure it will fizzle out in time.’

  She was about to say, ‘That’s what Alec says,’ but it didn’t seem right to mention him while she was sitting so close to another man, on his bed.

  She felt Perry’s hand on her waist. ‘I’m so very fond of you, Emilia. Have you guessed?’

  ‘Yes. I value your friendship highly, Perry.’ She knew she should go, run away, but instead she settled on something marginally safer. Ada. A photograph of his wife was on the dressing table, a portrait of a small, young woman with an uncertain smile. ‘Do you still miss her?’

  ‘Not really. Ada was a silly sort of little thing, but she was a dear and was devoted to me and I thought we’d make a go of it. I married her in a moment of madness at the outbreak of the war. I didn’t expect her to die at home in bed while I was out there in the slaughter fields. I should have been a lot sadder at losing her if she’d been anything like you, Emilia.’

  His hand was caressing her waist and Emilia laid a grip over his sensitive fingers. ‘You mustn’t say things like that to me.’

  ‘Sorry, but it’s the truth.’ He felt Emilia making to get up, so he said, ‘And another truth is that Ada wasn’t Libby’s mother, but please don’t think me the sort who indulges in casual affairs. There’s more too that you don’t know.’

  ‘Don’t tell me.’ The fight inside her to leave him yet wanting so much to stay was won by her resting her head against his chest. ‘I’d never think badly of you, Perry.’

  He entwined his fingers in her hair, lifted it and kissed it. ‘Darling Emilia, Em…’

  ‘In a minute or two I’ll help you to walk again. It’s as important to me as it is to you that you continue making progress. Then I’ll make the tea.’

  ‘For both of us?’

  No, then I will go.

  She said, ‘Yes, for both
of us.’

  Chapter Eighteen

  Emilia reached the stone footbridge at the side of the ford, telling herself that only a respectable short time had passed since she had first gone over it. She had stayed in Perry’s embrace for the two minutes she had stipulated, telling him that the tea would be drunk in the parlour. This had been done with him in his wheeled chair and she at a sound distance across the room. They had chatted about the children, the garden and the weather. Good, honest subjects.

  She could justify her actions how she liked, but when she was climbing the short, steep hill up to the farm her heart was thudding, her face was aflame and she had a tight, hurting grip on her fists. Perry had wheeled himself to the front door to say goodbye and she had allowed him to take her hand and leave a lingering kiss there. Then she had stooped and kissed him on the lips and there had been nothing respectable or honest about the manner in which she had done it. Her body had wanted him then in the same way it had wanted him when they had cuddled together on his bed. Now her mind was filling up with shame, but not all the way to the top because she didn’t regret one moment of what had happened. Perry was handsome and sensuous, and he was fun and open in a way that Alec was not. The danger was exhilarating for she knew her attraction to Perry was not just a means of sheltering from her grief over Jenna.

  When she had helped him to rise off the bed and walk to his wheeled chair in the parlour, Perry had said he would find it easy to start out on his own from now on, that he would only have to picture her encouraging him, holding out her arms to him. He had also said his room would never be as lonely for him again. She would not, must not, venture to his house alone for some time, but she was already looking forward to seeing him again for the dinner party at the weekend.

  Something filtered into her mind. Someone was calling to her. Perry? Had he managed to follow her this far so quickly? She turned and found herself staring at two people only a step or two behind her. It was Ben and a young woman who could be none other than his bride.