Moments of Time

by Gloria Cook

  ‘Oh, no!’ She felt she had been slapped back into line somehow and it was all too much for her hopes and emotions that had been so tossed about this afternoon, and she burst into tears.

  Suddenly Alec had her in his arms and was rubbing her back and smoothing at her hair and caressing her face. ‘Don’t cry, Sara. Don’t be upset, precious girl. I’ll buy you another dress. I’ll buy you another ten. I’ll give you anything you want.’

  Moments passed, then he let her go, and she searched for her hanky tucked away in one short sleeve and dried her eyes. ‘I’m sorry. You must think I’m a baby.’

  He watched a tiny trickle of perspiration run down the creamy hollow of her throat. ‘Not that,’ his voice came out in a soft, husky tone. From the moment he had stationed her against the tree he had been trying not to think about how much he was enjoying her company. Trying not to notice just how stunningly beautiful she was. How precious. How luscious.

  Despite her lack of experience with men, Sara noticed the subtle shift in his expression, and she gloried in the fact that he wasn’t running from whatever he might be feeling for her now. ‘Thanks for taking the photos of me, Alec.’

  ‘You’re welcome, Sara. Thanks for a wonderful afternoon.’

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Emilia, Dolly, Sara and Tilda were taking a pause from their work to listen to Woman’s Hour on the wireless.

  Emilia had her eyes closed, and with Tom snuggled up on her lap she was enjoying a blissful state of motherly devotion. Soothing him, soothing her. Spreading her fingertips through his soft reddish-brown hair. Stroking his smooth warm cheek, his small strong nose, his cosy little chin, delightful ears. How she loved her child, and wished Will had not grown so quickly out of wanting this kind of attention. While the other women listened to a talk about flower arranging, and the other children got down to Scrabble in the playroom next door, Jonny helping Will with the spelling, she just drifted. Dreamy. Content. Satisfied.

  It was raining hard, the wind throwing heavy, probing drops of water against the windows and shifting the older timbers of the house in lazy creaks and groans. A sudden exclamation from Vera Rose made her smile. ‘Oh, Jonny that’s not fair! I won’t have it. Rejouir is a French word. You’re not allowed foreign words in this game.’ The next noises were indistinct but it was easy to gather that Jonny had scoffed at her and Vera Rose had threatened not to play, and Jonny, while capitulating to her demands, had scoffed at her again.

  Thinking about French words made Emilia think about the French housekeeper employed by a certain wonderful, outrageously good-looking man who lived close by. She smiled and from her depths came the sort of sigh that he alone could wring from her. She didn’t realize she had stopped petting Tom until he pushed on her hand to continue. She kissed his tender crown and started the threading of his hair again. Her dear, darling Tom, her baby again, he having almost forgotten there had been a Jenna.

  She stayed with the sweetly sad memories of Jenna for a while, then inevitably they brought her back to Perry. He was always there inside her mind. His love for her and hers for him was written on her heart, the loving stamp of his body within her body. How in tune his gentle nature was with her more lively one. Although aching to be alone again they were being careful not to hold any more meetings alone yet. They had agreed never to pass lingering looks, or secret touches, or hidden messages. Soon, they were to meet in Reggie Rule’s house on the outskirts of Truro, take advantage of the trip Reggie was to make up to London to study some new scientific advance, he believing Perry would be there alone looking through his medical books.

  She was pleased to be this wise. There was something different in the way Brooke looked at her now, as if she was watching her. She may have noticed the connection between her and Perry. And the last thing Emilia wanted was to hurt anyone, specially Alec. Her love for him had in no way lessened. She had formed a way of putting her feelings for him and Perry into two separate compartments. She knew the terrible risk she was taking. She knew how unforgiving Alec could be when he was hurt, and that he might even become vengeful. But she couldn’t give Perry up. She couldn’t!

  Recalling the mere touch of his hand brought a blissful smile to her lips. Anticipating making love with him again made her sink into an idyll of time and space. ‘Em. My Em,’ he had said, in such a special all-possessing way, when they had travelled back from the little secret place on the moor.

  ‘Em. Em! Wake up.’ Her mother was shaking her knee. ‘Someone’s coming in by the front door.’

  Perry! She came to without reluctance because it might be Perry, braving the downpour, bringing Libby to play, just so he could lounge in her kitchen with a bunch of nattering women, just to be where she was for a while. Like Dolly, Sara and Tilda, she stared expectantly at the door.

  There was a polite tap, but it was Selina Bosweld who came in, dripping in her nurse’s cape, her shoes and lower legs splattered with mud. ‘Hello. Didn’t expect the weather to turn so awful so suddenly. Gosh, you all look cosy in here. Practically half asleep.’

  ‘We were.’ Dolly deliberately made it sound like an accusation of them being disturbed. Nevertheless, as the one who presided over the teapot she motioned to Sara to fetch another cup from the dresser. Sara did so, ungraciously. Hating Jim’s cruel seducer, wishing her all manner of ills.

  Tilda, who had an unbreakable sense of servitude, was already relieving Selina of her cape. Selina took the seat nearest to Emilia, then pulled off her soaking nurse’s cap. She joined in with the pampering of Tom, who was now sleeping. ‘Dear little fellow. He’s so much more like you, Em, than Alec.’

  Emilia wasn’t sure if she liked Selina calling her Em. Aware of Selina’s shifts she was puzzled. ‘You’re back early, aren’t you?’

  Selina’s beautiful eyes grew astonishingly large and bright. ‘It was my last actually. I’ve resigned. I intend to take the plunge.’

  ‘What? You mean you’re getting married?’ It was so unusual for Sara to speak in Selina Bosweld’s presence, let alone to blurt out a scathing question, and everyone peered at her.

  ‘No, my dear,’ Selina replied as coldly as an icy draught, without looking at her. ‘To study medicine. I’m going to be a doctor.’

  ‘You’re really going through with it?’ Emilia said. This was wonderful! To be rid of Selina and the unease she always brought with her, but most of all to be able to see Perry more effortlessly.

  ‘I am indeed.’ Selina beamed before sipping the strong, stewed brew put in front of her. ‘Got any of your delicious ginger fairings, Tilda? I’m ravenous.’

  ‘When are you going?’ Dolly interjected. ‘There’s nowhere local to train for something like that, is there?’

  ‘No, you’re absolutely correct, Mrs Rowse. I intend to leave before the end of the year.’

  ‘You must feel sad to have left the infirmary though?’ Emilia said.

  ‘Sort of,’ Selina replied in an end-of-discussion tone. ‘We’ll finally have time to shop and lunch and walk together, Em. And I’ll be able to contribute more to my one and only sports day here.’

  Jonny suddenly pushed the door open. ‘Aunty Em, can we all have some—’ He had not expected the caller to be Selina Bosweld. He started to close the door. ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘I’ll take some milk and biscuits in to the children,’ Dolly said, brisk, pursed-lipped. Normally she refused to wait on anyone capable of collecting something on their own good legs, but it pleased her the way Jonny showed his contempt at the Bosweld woman being here.

  Selina pretended not to notice Dolly’s disapproval. Emilia knew Selina didn’t care about it anyway. Selina glanced at Sara. ‘I like the way that girl does her hair now. It’s time I had a change. Why don’t I make an appointment for us at a hairdresser’s in town, Em? We want to look our best when we step out together.’

  Tom stirred, woke up and stretched himself out like a lazy kitten on Emilia’s lap, then cuddled down into her again.

&n
bsp; ‘Hello, Tommy. How are you, dear fellow?’ Selina patted his tousled hair.

  He scowled at her. ‘I hate being called Tommy!’

  ‘Tom, don’t be rude to Miss Bosweld,’ Emilia chided him, but she couldn’t help being amused. ‘Sorry, Selina.’

  ‘Oh, he’s only copying his cousin’s fighting spirit.’ Selina demolished one of the crunchy biscuits and gazed intently at Tom, who rebelliously hardened his scowl. ‘Although I don’t expect Jonny is quite as brave as he likes to think he is.’

  ‘You come with Granny, Tom, my handsome,’ Dolly said gaily to him, while glaring sternly at Selina. ‘Join the others for a little feast.’

  Selina pulled at her uniform. ‘God, this wet cloth has chafed me all over and my feet are clammy in these wet stockings. I know I’ve only got to whizz on down the lane but could you lend me something dry to wear, Em, my dear?’

  ‘I’ll see what I can find,’ Emilia said doubtfully. ‘You’d better come with me.’

  ‘Any old thing will do.’ Selina started undressing the instant they reached the master bedroom, dropping her clothes on the floor. ‘Gosh, you have such pretty things in here, Em, darling. The room is immaculate.’

  ‘Sara keeps it like this. She spends ages in here every day.’ Emilia opened her wardrobe, chose an ordinary white linen blouse and a loose-fitting skirt for Selina.

  ‘Well, that’s hardly surprising,’ Selina said in a voice that purred.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Emilia swung round and blinked, taken aback to see Selina standing, waiting, quite close to her, in just a pair of oyster-coloured silk French knickers. Her armpits had indeed been chafed by her wet clothes, but there were also livid red marks on both her large, hanging breasts. So she had another lover, one who was at least a little rough with her. Something, Emilia guessed, Selina liked, probably demanded.

  ‘Thank you, darling.’ Selina took the skirt and climbed into it, fastening the pretty glass buttons at the waist. ‘What I meant about Sara was that before her years in the workhouse she lived with her impoverished widowed mother, didn’t she? She must have had nothing, poor little thing.’ Selina homed in on the masculine side of the room. ‘Everything she longs for must be found in here. Can you spare a spray of perfume?’

  ‘Help yourself.’

  ‘Gosh, look at all these bottles. Alec does love to spoil you.’ Emilia watched, with a troubled yet compelling fascination, as Selina sat, bare-breasted at her dressing table, fingering and sniffing at her perfume bottles. Selina rolled a tall tapering blue crystal bottle between her palms. ‘Parfait Amour. Perry bought me some perfume when we were in France. I haven’t come across this one before. Do you think there’s such a thing as perfect love, darling?’

  Emilia wasn’t going to play any silly game with Selina. ‘Probably not.’

  Selina laughed, long and deep, like a man. ‘Oh, don’t be cross with me. I’m bored. I’ve been bored for so long now. I amuse myself with a little psychology.’

  ‘That’s not what you do, Selina. You enjoy baiting people and you don’t care if you make them suffer.’

  Selina pulled out the stopper of the bottle, then dabbed the sensuous perfume on the pulses at her wrists and neck, then inside her cleavage. Smiling at Emilia’s stern reflection in the mirror, she replaced the stopper, put the perfume bottle carefully back in its place. ‘You know me only too well, darling. I like that. But I’m only a little bit cruel, really I am. And only to people who deserve it. Take Jim for instance. Right from the start I told him there wouldn’t be anything permanent between us, but he didn’t listen. Thought that because we were having sex he had the right to lay a claim on me. Men can be so stupid.’ She glanced at a photograph of Alec up on the tallboy, then looked out of the window that overlooked the back fields and the woods and her own home. ‘They rarely see what’s right in under their noses. You’re the only person I’ve ever really admired, did you know that, Emilia Harvey? You’re so wise and strong and lovely. It’s why so many people love you, why so many desire you. Oh, good, the rain’s stopped. The sun will break through the clouds any moment. Pass me that blouse, please. I must run along home.’

  Emilia did as she was bidden, silently, with a horrible crawling feeling in her stomach. Had Selina just been hinting that she knew about her and Perry? She had to respond to Selina’s remarks, even though afraid of the rejoinder. ‘You do say strange things, Selina. Who is it that you think desire me?’

  ‘Ben for a start.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Oh, he loves his bride, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I know men, remember? He doesn’t quite realize it himself, but he’d give anything to make love to you again – I take it your first time was with him? And Tristan, he adores you, he’d be easily tempted to take you to bed.’

  Emilia couldn’t believe this. ‘What nonsense!’

  After a pause of meaningful silence, something indefinable filtered into Selina’s solemnly beautiful eyes. ‘And Perry. But we really shouldn’t talk about him, should we? It’s dangerous. I hope you and he are being sensible. I don’t want you having his child, it would complicate all our lives.’

  There was no point in Emilia protesting there wasn’t something between her and Perry, not to this woman, so worldly-wise and astute. ‘You needn’t concern yourself about that. What sort of danger?’ Emilia dropped her voice.

  ‘Emilia, I beg you to be very careful. You must make sure that Alec never finds out, never suspects. He’s full of secret passion and dark, dark moods, more so than even you, as close as you are to him, may realize. Never forget how long it took him to come to terms with what Ben did to him. I don’t think he’d stop at anything to protect his marriage. If he thought that you, whom he loves so very much, was betraying him, well… and what would he do to Perry? I’m sorry, Em, that this isn’t what you want to hear. I just thought, as your friend, that I should give you a gentle warning. Can you go on risking everything you have? Can you, darling?’

  * * *

  Climbing aboard her bicycle, the nurse’s uniform, no longer of any use to her, stuffed into the basket in front of the handlebars, Selina set off whistling cheerfully, ‘Hello! Hello! Who’s your lady friend?’

  When she reached the exit for the lane, she stayed close to the hedge to allow a taxicab to turn in for the farmhouse. Winifred Harvey was the fare in the back. Selina offered her a sunny smile. Then she went triumphantly on her way. Partly triumphantly. For there was also a terrible rage building up inside her.

  * * *

  ‘Mrs Em!’ Tilda called up the stairs. ‘Can you come down please? Mrs Tristan Harvey is here.’

  Emilia put down the photograph of Alec she was clutching to her body and pressed out the anguish and guilt in her face. It was the photograph she had noticed that had caught Selina’s eye. One she, herself, had taken of him, lounging against a field gate, smiling, smiling so handsomely, taken after he with great patience had shown her how to use the camera. Selina’s warning had focused her mind on Alec and all that he meant to her, and she hadn’t had the time yet to think over what her feelings, in the light of this, were about Perry now. ‘Just coming!’

  ‘Winnie, this is a lovely surprise,’ Emilia said, in the sitting room. ‘But are you well? You look all flushed.’

  ‘Hello, Emilia, dear. Tilda’s bringing me a glass of water,’ Winifred smiled from an armchair, while fanning her burning face. ‘Sorry about this.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. What is it?’

  ‘Tris and I were in Truro. He’s there to see some chap, about some more war memorabilia for his own private collection. We were going to spring a surprise on Vera Rose and Jonny on the way home. They’d said hello to me, by the way, then Tilda felt it best to shoo them out so I could recover. Well, I suddenly came over all hot and bothered and it was too much and Tris suggested I come on ahead. Oh, Emilia, you see, I really have to tell you this now, and don’t be upset. Please don’t be upset, but well, I’m going to have a baby.’


  ‘Good heavens!’ came an unexpected male voice, a voice that made Emilia’s heart lurch in self-reproach, but filled her also with warmth and pride, because the voice, as usual, was steeped in understanding, its owner delighted with the news. ‘But that’s brilliant. Isn’t it, Emilia, angel?’

  ‘Yes, Alec, it’s wonderful. Congratulations, Winnie,’ she said. After Alec had squeezed her hand and she had squeezed back on his, he went to kiss Winnie. Then she hugged Winnie, and gently pulled off her hat and gloves and started unwrapping the wreaths of silk scarf around her neck. ‘Oh, you are silly. Of course I’m not upset. Alec and I have been sure for ages that Brooke is pregnant too. It’s time she and Ben announced it to us. They must be dying to tell the rest of the world. Here’s Tilda with the water. Take a sip, you’ll soon feel better.’

  A short time later, Winnie, a comely pink now, her feet up on an upholstered stool, said, ‘When Tris arrives, we’ll be able to tell the children. Hope Jonny won’t hate the thought of the baby.’

  The door had been left open and there was a lot of stifled whispers and giggling coming from the passage. Alec grinned. ‘The little blighter’s been listening in on us. Come inside, Jonny Harvey and the rest of you.’

  Jonny, unusually for him, entered slowly, embarrassed to have been caught eavesdropping. He approached his honorary Aunt Winnie, his stepmother, on uncertain feet. She met his bold dark eyes anxiously. ‘Does this mean I’ll be an uncle?’

  ‘No, Jonny, an elder brother. And you, Vera Rose, darling, will be a big sister. Are you both pleased?’

  ‘Oh, Mummy, I’m ecstatic!’ Vera Rose squealed in joy, and ran and swept her long, gangly arms round her mother’s neck. ‘A baby in the house. I can hardly wait.’

  Alec nudged Jonny. He was as still as a granite cross. ‘Well, old chap, what do you think?’

  Jonny put his hands in his shorts pockets, grown-up style. ‘I suppose it’s all right. Of course I’ll be a brother, how did I think otherwise? I never thought I would be, not after my baby sister died with Mummy.’ Later, when he was alone with Alec and they were having one of their private pals talks, he confided, ‘I wish my little sister had lived even for a few hours. I wish I’d seen her. It hurts me so much that I’ll never know what she looked like.’