by Lucy Clark
Mackenzie sighed and nodded. ‘We really don’t know that much about each other. I mean, I’ve only just found out that your parents have died and that you have sisters.’
‘Plus a gaggle of nieces and nephews. Why do you think I like working on the other side of the world?’ He smiled at her and Mackenzie instantly felt her knees begin to buckle. Why did he have to be so darned handsome? So darned nice? So darned considerate?
She’d been able to tell from the tone of his voice and the smile behind his eyes that he absolutely adored his siblings and she couldn’t help the pang of envy that passed through her. ‘They sound horrible. No doubt they meddle in your life simply because they care.’
‘Aha. You’ve met them.’ John’s smile had increased to full wattage and she took a step back, putting out a hand to the wall in order to support herself against his powerful presence. ‘Listen, Mackenzie.’ His tone was soft and the smile slowly disappeared from his lips.
‘I didn’t come here to confuse you. I came to Sunshine General for the job. I shouldn’t have surprised you the way I did in Theatre. I really was only trying to help out and I didn’t think of how it might emotionally affect you. Seeing someone from your past, especially from a tragic time in your life, is never easy to cope with. You were unprepared and I apologise.’
At his heartfelt speech, Mackenzie simply stared at him, becoming lost in his glorious blue eyes or intently watching the way his perfect mouth formed the words. Belatedly she realised it was her turn to speak but before she could nudge her mind back into gear, think of some sort of appropriate response and then quickly escape to the female changing rooms, which were just around the corner, John took a small step forward and gently brushed a hair away from her cheek.
The small, insignificant touch caused her to gasp, her lips parting with trembling anticipation. When his gaze dipped to momentarily stare at her mouth, Mackenzie’s heart began to hammer wildly against her ribs. ‘Uhh…’ She’d tried to speak, then had stopped and cleared her throat. ‘Thanks.’
‘For?’ He stepped even closer and leaned with one hand on the wall just to her right.
Mackenzie looked up, their gazes still locked in some silent conversation, engaging in a language they both spoke fluently but for whatever reason hadn’t spoken for quite a number of years. ‘Um…everything?’
The corners of his lips curved upwards. ‘Everything, eh? Makes me sound like quite a guy.’ The teasing lilt of his words caused her to relax, just a fraction, before she returned his smile.
‘You know what I mean,’ she ventured, pleased to find the strength in her legs was beginning to return. She eased away from the wall and John dropped his arm and took a step back. It was then both of them seemed to realise they’d been standing in the middle of one of the hospital corridors almost flirting with each other. In fact, Mackenzie realised after she quickly excused herself and headed to the changing rooms, they hadn’t been almost flirting—they had been flirting.
She’d been flirting with John Watson. The man who had rescued her. The man who was her new boss! What did it mean? Even as she’d stood beneath the spray of the shower, washing off the arduous stint in theatre, she tried to wrap her head around the concept that she was indeed highly attracted to John.
In the past, she’d always looked on him as her knight in shining armour. He’d been there to see her through the darkest time of her life. She’d been in his arms several times, she’d held his hand without question or ulterior motive, she’d kissed his cheek with gratitude. Why was it now so incredibly different?
As she stood beside him at the recovery nurses’ station, reading the quick, perfectly legible notes he’d entered into Mrs Windslow’s file, given the lead surgeon had been unconscious, Mackenzie wished she wasn’t so aware of him. She tried instead to focus on what she needed to write, on how Mrs Windslow’s operation had progressed right up until the moment she’d looked into John’s eyes and passed out.
She moaned with embarrassment and shook her head.
‘Something wrong?’ he asked.
‘I can’t believe I passed out like that.’
‘It’s not the preferred method for conducting a successful surgical procedure,’ he teased gently, and she laughed.
‘What a day.’
‘Almost done? Do you have clinic this afternoon?’
‘Yes.’
‘And Ruthie?’ He lowered his voice and glanced across at her. ‘Who looks after Ruthie while you’re here? Does the hospital have a childminding centre? If not, that’s one thing I’m more than happy to fight for.’
Mackenzie held up her hands to stop him. ‘Whoa, there, boy. They do and it’s a great centre. Ruthie used to go there when she was younger but now I’ve found a lovely family day-care lady called Grandma Liz, who is indeed a grandmother figure and a lovely woman who adores Ruthie.’ Mackenzie checked her watch. ‘And if I don’t get a wriggle on, I’ll be late for pick-up.’ She finished writing up Mrs Windslow’s notes.
John wrote down a few notations in the file he was holding before closing it. ‘How does Ruthie cope with your working hours?’
Mackenzie shrugged. ‘The same as any child being raised by a sole parent. She complains sometimes but it’s only since she started school that she’s realised she’s different from other children who have two parents. Until then, she had no idea she was living what some would term a different sort of life.’ She closed Mrs Windslow’s file. ‘Still, I’m determined to make her life far better than the one I had, which, I think, is all any parent can ever do for their child.’
‘Agreed. Parents should do everything they can for their children, especially when they’re young,’ John remarked softly, then took another set of casenotes from the cabinet and opened them up. He wrote a few lines, signed his name then turned to face Mackenzie.
Part of him wanted to tell her more about his past but he simply wasn’t used to discussing it. His sisters had sucked all the talk out of him when tragedy had struck his life so many years ago. They’d discussed and they’d analysed and all the while, even though he’d known they loved him, it had felt like they were content to keep pouring lemon juice into the open wound of his heart, which hadn’t promoted any sort of healing. It was why he now travelled so extensively.
He exhaled slowly, looking into Mackenzie’s green eyes, his mouth going dry as he honestly contemplated telling her about his past, about the tragedy that had changed his life for ever. ‘Mackenzie,’ he began, and took her hand in his.
‘Yes, John?’
‘I…er…’ He stopped, swallowing compulsively as he tried to make the words spring forth to his lips. ‘All those years ago, when I…helped you and…’ He stopped for a moment, closing his eyes. He was surprised when she gave his hand a little encouraging squeeze.
‘John, you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want—’
‘But I do want to.’ He exhaled again and shook his head. ‘It’s just a little more difficult than I’d realised.’ John looked down at their hands, joined together, and couldn’t resist rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. He’d done the same thing all those years ago when he’d been trying to give her courage, to help her to believe in herself, to empower her, but now it truly felt as though she was giving him the same emotions in return.
‘Mackenzie.’ He dragged in another deep breath, determined to try again. He was about to place his other hand on top of hers when one of the nursing staff came into the area. Mackenzie instantly removed her hand and started fussing about the place, tidying up notes and putting pens away.
‘I appreciate you offering to help me decipher the paperwork on the present research projects in the department,’ John remarked as he returned the casenotes to the cabinet. ‘I’ll meet you in my office in…’ he checked his watch, his tone brisk and extremely businesslike ‘…ten minutes.’ Without another word, he turned and headed out of Recovery, leaving Mackenzie to wonder what had just happened. She hadn’t promised anything a
bout research projects, although if he needed help in that area she was more than happy to provide it, but he also knew she had to leave the hospital to go and collect Ruthie.
She quickly finished up in Recovery, a little preoccupied with thinking of what he’d been on the verge of telling her. What could he have been about to say? She pressed ‘pause’ on her wayward thoughts as she headed to ICU, and after being satisfied that her patients were progressing well, she quickly headed to the orthopaedic department. None of the secretaries were in and as she walked towards John’s new office, she realised the door was wide open.
He was standing at his desk, shuffling papers around, as though he really was trying to make sense of the workload he’d inherited from the person who’d been acting director for the past six months. She took the opportunity to watch him for a moment, liking the way his strong and clever hands quickly sorted and ordered. Within a matter of seconds even she could see some wood peeking out beneath the white paper.
‘Paperless office,’ she heard him mutter, and couldn’t help but smile. She must have made a sound because he immediately looked up and caught her standing there. ‘Will you just look at this?’ He spread his arms wide, indicating his desk. Mackenzie took a few steps into his office.
‘And you were wondering why I didn’t want the job?’
‘You’re a smart woman, Mackenzie. I’ve always thought that about you.’
‘So.’ She took another few steps towards his desk. ‘Do you really need help with the research projects?’
‘I wouldn’t mind but it can wait until some time during the next week or two. I don’t know why I said that. I guess I just panicked when the nurse came into the nurses’ station and I wanted to quickly provide a reason why we might have been standing so close, talking so softly.’
‘Holding hands,’ she pointed out.
‘It was stupid of me.’
Her smile brightened. ‘Totally.’
‘Anyway,’ he said as he put a few manila folders into a briefcase then pulled out a small set of keys, ‘right now it’s time for me to meet your daughter.’
‘My—’ Mackenzie gaped at him.
‘Ruthie. You’re going to introduce me to Ruthie.’
CHAPTER FOUR
‘WHY WOULD I do that?’ she asked, watching John head towards the door and indicate that she should precede him out. She did, still a little stunned at his words, as she watched him lock his office door then head to the stairwell. There, he held the door for her again, waiting for her to go through.
‘Because I’m interested to see her. There’s a special place in my heart for little Ruthie. As an orthopod, we rarely get a chance to deliver babies and although I wasn’t going to tell you at the time, Ruthie’s was the first delivery I’d ever taken the lead on, without a trained obstetrician looking over my shoulder.’
‘Excuse me? You took the lead?’ she queried with the finest thread of haughtiness in her tone as she started descending the stairs. ‘I beg to differ, John, because I am fairly certain I was the one taking the lead. Besides, by the time Ruthie was actually ready to be delivered, you had a paramedic with you and all the equipment in the ambulance.’
‘And I have been thankful for the paramedics’ timely arrival ever since,’ he quickly interjected.
‘I know.’ The haughtiness disappeared from her voice and she sighed. ‘Me, too, because if we’d still been sitting by that tree, in the middle of the scrub, in the fading light…’ She stopped and shuddered. ‘Actually, I don’t want to think about the “what ifs” because they didn’t happen and thanks to your assistance during her delivery, Ruthie is now a healthy, happy and, if I do say so myself, well-adjusted little girl.’
‘Exactly what every little girl should be.’ His deep words echoed around the stairwell. They descended one floor and continued heading down to the next level, John’s body much closer to hers than it had been before, his long legs easily taking the stairs much faster than her own, bringing them into a closer, more confined proximity than she’d realised.
She could almost feel the heat radiating from his torso, which wasn’t too far from her back. She gripped the handrail, knowing she needed to concentrate on her physical movements rather than the way John’s nearness was beginning to penetrate her senses.
‘What is that scent you’re wearing?’ The words seemed to rush out of him unbidden, but even so they caused a wave of tingles to spread down Mackenzie’s spine. She was headily aware of his own spicy scent, teasing her in return. ‘Some sort of flower?’
‘Er…it might be,’ she said, suddenly unable to think straight, especially when he was so near, clouding her thoughts. ‘Or it might be something else. Sandalwood or vanilla. I’m not sure.’ She shrugged a shoulder as though to confirm her indecision. ‘It was a gift from Bergan for my birthday.’
‘Ah, yes.’ John nodded. ‘Your birthday. That was only a few weeks ago, right?’
Mackenzie glanced back up at him for a moment but wished she hadn’t because it only made her realise just how close their bodies were in the empty stairwell. She cleared her throat. ‘Memorised my personnel file?’
‘No.’
‘Then how could you possibly—?’
‘Do you have any idea, Mackenzie, just how many times patients are required to provide their date of birth in a hospital environment? It’s the way we always check we have the right person. Full name and date of birth.’
Mackenzie thought fast for a moment then nodded as realisation dawned. ‘The night Ruthie was born. Once we’d arrived at the children’s hospital in Sydney, you would have heard me giving my date of birth several times over.’
‘Correct.’
‘And you remembered?’
John took a few steps at a time in order to get ahead of her and open the door to hold it for her. As she passed him she held his gaze, their two bodies drawing closer together. ‘It’s burned into my memory.’ His words were soft, his lips barely moving, and the intimacy did nothing to help dispel the tension thickening in the air around them. It was as though they’d been captured in a secluded bubble, completely separate from the world around them.
Why was it when she was near him, near the man who had been there for her during the worst moments of her life, that time seemed to stand still? They were connected by the past but now that John was going to be a part of her present things were definitely beginning to change. For a start, she was positive this repressed level of sensual tension had not existed between them five years ago, yet now it seemed the most natural thing in the world that John should be the man to set her heart alight.
As she stared into his mesmerising blue eyes, their scents intertwining and mingling together to form a heady combination, she was overwhelmed by a sense of inevitability. His gaze dipped momentarily to visually caress her lips before he swallowed.
‘Happy belated birthday, Mackenzie,’ he murmured, his tone deep, personal, intimate.
There it was again. That flash of awareness, of longing, of desire. Was it real? Did he feel it too or was he just being his usual charming self?
‘Thank you,’ she said softly. She watched as he swallowed, looking at his smooth neck, his firm jaw and back to his hypnotic eyes. What was this new and incredibly powerful sense she was feeling? With one intense glance he’d managed to send her senses into overdrive, her knees to jelly, her heart pounding fiercely in her chest. What on earth was this new…thing that seemed to exist between them? And how had it happened so quickly?
‘Mackenzie.’ Her name was a caress on his lips and the realisation that he did feel this awkward but powerful tug was enough to scare her. If it had just been her silly schoolgirl fantasies taking her on a merry journey, she would have been able to cope, able to find a way to control it. Besides, she wasn’t looking for any type of relationship or involvement with any man right now, and especially not one who already knew her vulnerabilities.
‘Ruthie.’ Her daughter’s name was dragged from her and it was en
ough to snap her back to reality. She gave her head a little shake as though to clear it. ‘Uh…I need to pick up Ruthie.’ With that, she continued past him, dragging air into her lungs, only belatedly realising she’d been holding her breath.
‘Yes. Ruthie. Good.’ He walked briskly beside her. ‘So you’re OK with me meeting her?’
Mackenzie’s sigh was long and deep but eventually she nodded. ‘I guess.’ She tried to think through the logistics of the rest of her morning and realised she definitely had a very full day planned. ‘How about tomorrow?’
‘Why not now? I’ve got time.’
She stopped walking and turned to face him, ensuring there was a bit of distance between them as she gave him a look of annoyance. ‘Well, I don’t. Look, John, I’m tired and grumpy and I only have a limited amount of time with Ruthie this morning before she has to go to school. I haven’t seen her since five o’clock yesterday afternoon and I’m quite possessive of the time I spend with her.’
He nodded, suitably chastised. He’d been wrong to try and pressure her but it had told him one thing—that Mackenzie Fawles was as strong-minded and as determined as she’d been the last time they’d met. ‘Quite right. Sorry.’ He held up his hands, palms facing her. ‘In your own time.’
His understanding and apology knocked the frown from her face. ‘I’ll…um…think of something and check my schedule and let you know.’
‘Good. Thanks. I appreciate it.’ The smile returned to his blue eyes and for a moment she stared at him, wondering if he’d looked this incredibly handsome five years ago? She was fairly certain he had but back then her thoughts had most definitely been elsewhere.
‘Go, Dr Fawles. Pick up your daughter and enjoy the time you have with her this morning.’
‘OK.’ She took two steps away from him then looked back, unable to believe how alone and forlorn he appeared. John? Forlorn? It wasn’t a word she would have usually equated with a man who had always been such a tower of strength within her mind but as she looked at him she belatedly remembered that he’d only just come to this part of the country and probably didn’t know too many people.