by Lucy Clark
The moment their mouths finally touched, after wanting and needing these sensations for so very long, she was sure they had the ability to stop time. Wave after wave of burning desire washed over her, each one more incredible than the last. The pressure of his mouth on hers, the thrumming through her ears as blood pumped faster around her body, the taste of him blending with her own need…
She’d dreamed about this moment, woken up in bed with thoughts so wild and vivid that she’d almost felt his touch on her mouth. Now she knew all of her dreams paled in comparison to the real John. Her heart was pounding frantically against her chest and her body seemed to have come to life in a way she hadn’t known existed before now.
He was here. Her John was here, finally, at last, and as he slowly moved his mouth against hers, seeming to savour every exquisite moment, making her feel feminine, pretty and secure, Mackenzie’s heart soared with happiness.
Slow and sweet and seductive. His mouth continued to cherish hers as though he was desperate to memorise every single contour, every curve, every taste of her. Finally, after years of wondering what it might be like to kiss her one day, to sample her luscious lips, to taste her, to tantalise her, to take whatever she’d willingly offer him, John realised he was ill prepared for the power of the sensations the two of them evoked in each other.
‘Mackenzie,’ he murmured, needing to be absolutely sure this was what she wanted.
‘Shh. Just kiss me, John. Please?’
He followed her orders, desperate to keep a tight control over the powerful surge of desire flooding through him. She deserved gentleness, tenderness and faithfulness. There would be a time for hunger, for heat, for the frenzied desire he felt for her, but not now. It took all his strength and mental skill to ensure he kept the exploration of her mouth soft and sweet, delighting in every discovered nuance and contour.
‘You are…perfect,’ he whispered as he pressed small kisses to the corner of her mouth before working his way across her cheek and down towards her neck. She angled her head slightly, allowing him access. He closed his eyes, unable to believe how fortunate he was that she seemed to be on the same page as him, wanting him to kiss her as much as he wanted to kiss her.
‘I didn’t realise it until we met again but I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long, Mackenzie.’ He pressed two more kisses to her neck then eased back slightly to look down into her upturned face. ‘I’m sorry if that bothers you.’
‘Why would it bother me?’
‘Because five years ago you needed a supportive friend.’
‘And that’s exactly who you were for me.’ She smiled up at him. ‘We can’t help the way we feel, John. It’s there. It’s real. We’ve both changed a lot during the last five years but I think the thing we’re most concerned about is vulnerability. It’s not easy for anyone to open themselves up to someone new, to share their insecurities, especially where the heart is concerned.’
John agreed. ‘These overpowering emotions don’t happen every day,’ he stated, as though he was still trying to get his head around their present situation.
‘I know it’s probably not as easy for you to move on from your first marriage as it is for me, given your life with Jacqueline sounds like a very happy one,’ she said slowly, gently running her fingers along his jawline. ‘But time moves on, much as we may sometimes want it to stand still.’
John rested his forehead against hers. ‘I come with baggage,’ he told her.
‘Don’t we all?’ she returned with a wide smile. ‘I guess what I want to know, John, is whether or not you’re happy to…not ignore this.’
He pondered her words for a moment before lifting his head and nodding, giving her a lopsided smile. ‘I don’t want to ignore this.’
Mackenzie sighed with relief. ‘Good.’
‘But before we go any further, I’d also like to tell you that there was a reason I didn’t keep in contact with you all those years ago.’
‘Oh? Because I’ve always wondered. I mean, I didn’t expect you to be there every day but you could have left me with a phone number so I could at least…I don’t know, send you a gift basket of fruit as a thank you?’ Her words were teasing but John could hear the thread of confusion lying beneath.
‘It’s nothing sinister, I promise. It’s simply that I thought you needed space to deal with the enormous changes in your life. You’d survived a car accident, given birth to a premature baby and your husband had passed away. That’s huge, Mackenzie, and along with Ruthie’s surgery, well, the last thing you probably wanted was me hanging around in the background, bringing more confusion into your life.’
‘I don’t think you would have brought confusion, John. You’ve experienced the loss of a spouse so you would have known what I was going through.’
‘And that’s why I needed to disappear, to leave you to your life. Although I found you attractive, you didn’t need my extra baggage weighing you down.’ He shrugged. ‘I was just someone who was there when you needed them.’
She looked up at him. ‘I need you now, John, but in a completely different way.’
His smile was instant as he lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers once more. ‘Good.’ He silenced any further chat with a kiss, Mackenzie slowly sighing against him, responding to the way he managed to set her on fire.
She’d always hoped it would be electrifying between them and it was. Now not only was her heart singing due to the delicate and tender way he was kissing her but also because it was possible, just possible, John might actually choose to stay, to put down permanent roots.
She focused on the way he was making her go weak at the knees with the way his tongue was tantalising her mouth, his teeth playfully nipping her lower lip, exciting her with the promise of a lot more to come. This was John. Her John. With the way he was ensuring she was safe and secure within his arms, she hoped with all her heart that she would be safe with him—for ever.
CHAPTER NINE
MACKENZIE AWOKE THE next morning to delicious dreams of John but this time the dreams of him holding her close and pressing his mouth to hers hadn’t just been a dream any more. It had been real. Very real, and she sighed against the pillow, remembering the way his kisses had been filled with the promise of a perfect passion still to come.
His mouth had meshed perfectly with her own as though they had indeed been made for each other, but when she had tried to deepen the kiss, to open her mouth wider, to tease him by running the tip of her tongue along his lower lip, to nibble at the corner of his mouth, the heat pulsing through her starting to build to an out of control state, John had eased back.
‘What’s wrong?’ she’d murmured, confused. Didn’t he want her? Hadn’t he been able to feel the passion surging through her? Was it not surging through him, too? She’d leaned in and kissed him again, her mouth open, her tongue slipping just inside his mouth. John had kissed her back for a whole fifteen seconds before his hands had somehow slid from her waist to her forearms and he’d gently eased her back. ‘John?’
‘Patience,’ he’d whispered against her mouth as he’d pressed small petal-soft kisses to her lips.
‘But…don’t you want—?’
‘With you? More than anything,’ he’d answered before she’d been able to finish.
Hadn’t he been able to see the passion flooding through her? The need to explore further, to discover more, to uncover the raw power that existed between them?
‘But I also think it’s vitally important that we take our time, that we slow things down.’ As he’d spoken the words, his gaze had been locked onto her lips, his visual caress doing absolutely nothing to slow down the fierce and out-of-control pounding of her heart against her ribs.
Mackenzie had known he was right, that they both needed to take a breath, to allow their minds to clear from the haze of pleasure they’d created between them.
‘I’d better go,’ he’d said softly near her ear.
‘I don’t want you to.’ Even after wh
at he’d just said, Mackenzie hadn’t been able to stop the words from springing forth from her lips. John’s answer had been to take her hand in his and lead her towards the door.
‘Well, we’re both tied up until the weekend, so how are you fixed for Saturday?’
‘Make me a worthwhile offer and I’ll ensure I clear my schedule.’ She’d smiled and John had been unable to resist putting his arms around her waist once more and leaning down to press his lips to hers.
‘I’d better make it a good offer,’ he’d teased, the undercurrent of desire still winding its way around them.
‘What do you have in mind?’
‘Well, as Ruthie will be around, I don’t think we should contemplate what it is I have in mind,’ he’d stated, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, and Mackenzie’s smile had increased.
‘OK. So…?’
John had cleared his throat. ‘Well, a patient told me about a wildlife park that’s close by.’
Mackenzie had nodded. ‘We know it well. We’re members there because Ruthie adores the place. She’s a nature girl.’
‘It’s a date, then. You…’ He’d bent his head and brushed his lips over hers. ‘And Ruthie…’ Another kiss. ‘And me.’ This time when he’d lowered his head Mackenzie had slid her hands up his arms, lacing her fingers at the base of his neck and urging his head to stay where it was, his mouth creating havoc with her already overflowing senses.
John most certainly hadn’t complained, his lips capturing hers once more in a powerful and possessive kiss. Mackenzie had melted into the embrace, loving the feel of him close, of his hands at her back, of his mouth on hers.
Sighing against the pillows, the morning sunlight now streaming into her bedroom, the smile on her face was as bright and as big as it had been last night. In John’s arms. She was positive it was the one perfect place she’d been searching for all her life, the place that made her happier than she’d ever been in her life. John. She was meant to be with John.
With an excited laugh she opened her eyes and flung back the sheets, eager to get up, to get dressed and to get her date with John under way. An hour later, she was busy trying to tame Ruthie’s riotous curls into a ponytail.
‘I want my hair like yours, Mummy, then we’ll be the same.’ Ruthie giggled, pointing to her black boots, blue jeans and light red jumper, which was exactly what Mackenzie was wearing.
With their hair pulled back in the same style, Ruthie reached out and gave her mother a hug. Mackenzie accepted the embrace, picking the little girl up and smothering her neck with kisses. Ruthie squealed and giggled, the delightful sounds filling their little home with love.
When a brisk rat-a-tat-tat came at the front door, Ruthie yelled, ‘John!’ at the top of her lungs, then scrambled from her mother’s arms and raced off to open the door.
Feeling a little self-conscious, Mackenzie quickly went into the kitchen to ensure the cooler bag she’d packed with drinks, sandwiches and healthy snacks for Ruthie was ready to go.
‘You sound happy this morning,’ she heard John say a moment later. Ruthie was talking non-stop, telling him about everything they would be seeing today and what her favourite animals were and how she loved the butterfly house and a plethora of other things.
‘Where’s your mother?’ John asked when Ruthie paused for half a second to take a breath and a few moments later John appeared at the entrance to the kitchen. ‘Hi.’
Mackenzie wiped her hands on a teatowel and turned to face him, her smile displaying her nervousness. ‘Hi.’ She was completely unsure what to do next. Should she cross to his side and place a kiss on his cheek? On his lips? Should she even contemplate kissing him in front of Ruthie? She’d never really found herself in such a situation before and as she went to pick up the cooler bag, she realised her hands were trembling.
‘Uh…Ruthie?’ She focused on her daughter, needing to do something to help control the riot of emotions zipping through her due to John’s tall, dark and handsome presence filling her small kitchen. He was dressed in a pair of runners, blue denim jeans and a white polo shirt, looking cool, calm and casual. His hair was still a little damp from his morning shower and his spicy scent was joyfully winding itself around her, causing a heady feeling of desire.
‘Yes, Mummy?’ Ruthie’s answer snapped Mackenzie’s attention back to her daughter and it was only then she realised she’d been openly staring at John, practically ogling him. She quickly closed her eyes for a moment but not before seeing the interested grin that had started to spread over his lips…lips that she now knew so well.
‘Yes, Mummy?’ Ruthie repeated, a hint of impatience in her tone.
‘Er…go and get your hat, please.’
‘Can I bring Zoe?’
Right at that moment Mackenzie didn’t care whether Ruthie brought her entire collection of dolls, she just needed her daughter out of the room. ‘Yes, you can bring Zoe.’
‘Yay!’ Ruthie ran upstairs, calling to her doll, ‘Hey, Zoe, Mummy said you can come, too.’
‘She’s certainly full of beans,’ John remarked as Mackenzie turned and started checking the cooler bag once again, needing to do something in the hope that the small task would help her control her nerves.
It didn’t work, especially when she heard John move quietly towards her. When he placed a hand at her waist and eased her round to face him, she quickly clasped her hands together.
‘Need any help?’ His tone was deep, intimate and his gaze now rested on her lips as though he couldn’t wait to taste them again. He reached out his hand, tenderly brushing her cheek with his thumb. She gasped at the touch, her lips parting as she stared into his hypnotic blue eyes.
‘John?’ she whispered, swallowing over the sudden dryness of her throat. ‘I’ve never been—’
‘Shh.’ He angled his body closer, slowly bending his head, giving her every indication that he was about to kiss her. Her heart felt as though it was hammering out his name in Morse code as her eyelids fluttered closed, wanting to memorise and capture every sensation he was evoking within her.
Finally, he brushed a feather-light kiss over her lips. ‘Good morning,’ he murmured, his deep voice washing over her, causing tingles of delight to flood down her spine and then spread throughout her entire body.
‘Morning.’ She opened her eyes and looked longingly up at him, a small, shy smile touching her lips.
‘I’m looking forward to today,’ he told her as his gaze once more encompassed her delectable mouth.
‘Me, too.’
‘And me, too,’ Ruthie said, obviously having overheard their words as she came carefully down the stairs, Zoe in her hands, both doll and little girl wearing their hats. Mackenzie immediately shifted away from John, hoping her daughter hadn’t seen them standing so close. She wasn’t ready to answer Ruthie’s often blunt questions, especially if the topic was John Watson.
Mackenzie cleared her throat and re-zipped the cooler bag. ‘OK, I think we’re all going to have a lovely, friendly day. Now, where did I put my hat?’
‘It’s by the front door, Mummy,’ Ruthie pointed out as Mackenzie picked up the cooler bag.
Immediately, John reached out and took it from her. ‘I’ve got it.’ He smiled before turning to wink at Ruthie. ‘Let the lovely, friendly day begin,’ he said, reserving a special smile for Mackenzie.
She was relieved he’d picked up on her message and as they placed Ruthie’s car seat into the back seat of John’s car, Mackenzie hoped that by the time they arrived at the wildlife park, her heart rate would have returned to normal, although with John’s close proximity she doubted that would happen.
*
When they walked towards the entrance of the wildlife park, Ruthie insisted on holding both their hands, jumping and swinging in the air between them. Mackenzie looked across at John and was surprised to find him looking back at her, a bright, happy smile on his face. The fact that the three of them together looked like a normal, happy family hadn’t escaped
her notice.
It was a nice sensation and one she’d never had with Warick, who’d always declared himself too busy to spend much one-on-one time with her. Today, though, she could pretend that she, John and Ruthie were a little family, intent on enjoying the wildlife park together.
The weather was perfect, the sky nice and blue without a cloud in sight and, probably because of that, there was quite a crowd coming to see the animals. They rode the small model train around the park, Mackenzie laughing as John sat in the small space, his knees bent up near his ears.
‘This is almost as bad as your car,’ he teased, and Mackenzie laughed. Ruthie sat beside him, grinning and smiling and laughing. It had been a long time since Mackenzie had seen her this happy and the sight of John and her daughter looking at her with brightness in their eyes made her sigh with longing.
Was it possible that this dream had some sort of hope of coming true? Was this amazing connection she felt with John something that could bring him permanently into her life? The thought filled her with nervous apprehension and she quickly pushed the serious thoughts aside, intent on just making memories and enjoying the rest of the day.
Ruthie fed the rainbow lorikeets, quite a few of the bright-coloured birds landing on her head and arms and making her giggle. When they visited the snakes, Ruthie insisted that John carry her for protection. This he did without any qualms. At the crocodiles, Ruthie ended up on his shoulders, more than content to commandeer John’s attention and time.
Throughout the day, Mackenzie took photographs, knowing that if, for some reason she couldn’t yet fathom, things didn’t work out between herself and John, she could at least look back on this day with fond memories.
As they sat under the shade of an old gum tree, Mackenzie lay down and sighed, closing her eyes for a moment and drinking in the serenity. Other families were also picnicking around the place and she could hear childish laughter filling the air, murmured conversations, birds squawking, leaves rustling in the light breeze.
‘She’s certainly a good talker,’ John remarked as he watched Ruthie playing not too far away with a few other children, bossing them around. Mackenzie laughed at the comment and the sound was like music to his ears. She deserved to laugh, to be happy.