Heart of the Gladiator (Affairs of the Arena Book 1)

by Lydia Pax

  It was decided. Her hand slipped up around his neck and she pulled her mouth up to his. She could feel the hardening of his want once again on her leg, substantial and insistent as it pressed ever forward.

  And could he feel her own heat, spreading out from her center, aching to know him inside of her?

  Footsteps outside broke the rare, beautiful moment. Caius, sensing her sudden fear, stepped back and leaned down on the table, as if being examined. Aeliana struggled not to moon over the thick muscles in his back and grabbed the nearest jar she could—anything that might look as if she administered medicine.

  But it was just a guard who passed, uninterested in their goings-on. Fighters visited the medicae every hour of the day for all sorts of reasons. Caius was no different.

  The break, though, was enough to return sanity to Aeliana. As Caius stepped back toward her, she held up a hand.

  “I like you very much, Caius. But Porcia does not. It appears, for whatever reason, that she hates you. And she is ready to do great harm to me if she knows that we are allied in any way. Even…” she sighed. “Even in a very pleasant way.”

  Caius nodded gently, his face slightly pained. “I understand. I only came here to let you know that I understand. I do not hold you in contempt. In fact, I apologize for my words and tone with you earlier.”

  “Your apology is very much accepted, Caius, and I hope you will accept mine. But for now, you must leave.”

  He did, and Aeliana had to bite her tongue to keep herself from calling him back. All she wanted to do was fall into that chest of his and press her face against him.

  Mere minutes later, Aeliana retreated to her small bed, holding herself tight and doing her best to preserve every last memory of his touch.

  Chapter 27

  In the afternoon of the next day, Aeliana ventured down to the city of Puteoli proper for more supplies for the games. They would be traveling to the arena in Capua for the first several days of the celebrations. Later in the month, there would be even more combat and death in the Puteoli Amphitheater that would require fighters from the Varinius ludus.

  It was, of course, all very much stupid in Aeliana’s mind, but still it was stupidity that required a medicae. And a medicae required supplies.

  She traveled, as she always did in the day, by herself. Even though she was a slave, she was allowed to travel on her own. Most Roman slaves did, unless they carried vast sums of money. The Romans kept immaculate records about who was free and who was not, and it was not as if Aeliana could escape somewhere outside of Rome. She wouldn’t even know where to begin.

  The trip would be a short one, perhaps less than two hours to arrive at the market, buy what she would need, and return. In all, it was rather routine.

  And then, surprising Aeliana totally, her father appeared on the street before her. And it was not just random chance—in his eyes there was expectation. He had wanted to find her. There was little warmth on the face of Vitus Galerius Rutila—and indeed, as ever, he looked as though he had just swallowed something sour. Down the road, merchants called out their wares. A dog tied to a pole whimpered helplessly as two young boys teased it with meat tied to stick.

  “Father,” said Aeliana. “How nice it is to see you.”

  It truly wasn’t, but there was little use in telling him that. He pulled her out of the center of the bustling street under the awning of a dentist’s shop. He wore an immaculate white tunic with a gold-banded rope around his waist. The hairs of his head were wispy and fragile.

  “Daughter.”

  She reached in to hug him, but he held up a hand. “Don’t be ridiculous. We can’t have you crying in the street.”

  Any act of emotion, in her father’s mind, was something of a weakness. And a woman, therefore, was only about two steps away at any given time from breaking down in tears.

  “Your duties have brought you to town?”

  “Yes, Father.”

  “You received my letter?”

  She nodded.

  “Good. And I expect the news struck you in a positive manner?”

  “I am…” she chose her words carefully. “I am grateful you are looking out for my future, Father.”

  “Wonderful.” He clapped his hands together slightly. The old, withered skin of his palms made a soft puffing sound. “You should know that it is possible for me to expedite the process. The General of the Danube legions makes his summer home here. He styles himself after Sulla in that way. I supply his men with more than half of their olive oil and almost all of their fruits. He owes me a favor or two. With a nudge, I could have him buy you before your contract is even up.”

  “Sold and bought and sold again,” said Aeliana, voice lifeless.

  Vitus cocked his head. “What was that?”

  “I…” She imagined her insides as hard. As hard as Caius’s skin. And a pole through her back, forcing her stand up straight. “I would not like that, Father. I don’t want to serve the Legion.”

  His laugh was harsh. “You wish instead to remain serving at a ludus? Serving murderers and rapists and the worst of the lot?”

  He knew nothing, and would never bother to correct his ignorance. She knew better than to correct him.

  “No. I have my own plans. Those that circulate outside of the bonds of servitude.”

  “We all serve, Aeliana.”

  “Yes, but you do not serve as a slave.” Her voice was heated now. Years of holding her tongue in his presence had built a reservoir of anger. “You want honor in your family, and yet you put me to this task you find so dishonorable. You were my agent in all of this.”

  “For your own good.” Vitus stepped back. “You had to learn the trade. This was the best way to—”

  “This was the best way for you to imagine that other sons, other brothers, other versions of Aelianus might not die, Father. But you sold your daughter to do it. You sold your family. And now you will sell me again.”

  Vitus straightened now. “I did what any father would. And I do not like this talk from you. You must be feeling ill. You should see a medici yourself. I can send for one, if you like. He’s a good man, thorough. Within the hour, you’ll be right as ever.”

  “No, Father.” She shook her head. “I…I hope you will think on what I’ve said. I have. I would like my own freedom. I have my own plans, if you’ll only let the leash off.”

  She turned back to the market and continued on her morning duties. It was only much later, when she had nearly returned to the ludus, that she realized that for the first time in her life, she had gotten the last word in a discussion with her father.

  Chapter 28

  Neither Caius nor Lucius understood why exactly they had been brought up to the house of the Dominus. When they were escorted all the way into his office and sat down across from a somber Rufus and a cheerful Porcia, the situation only became more confusing.

  A liquid tension filled Caius, expecting the worst. Porcia’s happiness rarely coincided with his own.

  “As you know, you will be fighting in three days time in Capua,” said Rufus. “You travel tomorrow.”

  Caius and Lucius both nodded. “Yes, Dominus.”

  “There were concerns about your readiness, Caius, from many fronts. From myself, from the editor at the fight in Capua, from the other ludi. They all want a good fight. A good show.”

  “Did Murus express doubts?”

  “No,” said Rufus. “He has been complementary of your efforts. But you and he have ever been close. It is difficult to gauge the truth in such situations. He may have wanted to protect you.”

  “If he wanted to protect me,” said Caius, “recommending me to fight in the arena is a strange way of doing it.”

  Lucius laughed at that, but Porcia and Rufus remained silent.

  “Am I not to fight, then?”

  “No, you will fight, dear Ursus.” Crossing from one end of the room to the other, in front of Lucius, Porcia tittered. “You’re going to fight in a great specta
cle.”

  “The decision was made,” Rufus cast a long, wearied eye at his wife, “that the two of you would fight together, so as to better your odds.”

  “It’s uncommon, is it not,” said Lucius, “for a retarius and a thraex to fight together?”

  “It is,” said Porcia, her glee barely restrained. “And even more uncommon for them to be chained at the wrist.”

  Lucius cast a long eye over to Caius. That would make life difficult for the both of them.

  “Who are we to fight?” asked Caius.

  “Not who, dear Ursus,” said Porcia. “But what.”

  “Yes,” said Rufus. “The decision was made that you would fight as bestiarii.”

  Lucius stood. “You must be joking. I’m the Champion of Puteoli!”

  Caius understood and shared Lucius’s indignation. Other than the prisoners executed at the arena, bestiarii were considered the lowest of the low in the hierarchy of fighters at the games. Their survival rate was low and their purses light in victory. To be treated as one was an insult.

  “A bear and a tiger,” continued Rufus. “Good specimens, I’m told.”

  “Do you not hear me, man? I am the Champion, not a bestiarii. You would insult this house with this deed.”

  “Sit down, Lucius, before I have you shackled and beaten for the next three days and lock you up for the remainder of these games.”

  Taking a breath, Lucius sat. “I just…I don’t understand, Dominus.”

  “It will be a spectacle,” said Porcia, eyes shining. “One for the ages. The returning champion and the current champion fighting the champions of the natural world. You will be our pillars of civilization, defending all that is noble and good against the onslaught of the wild.”

  It was clear something was amiss here. Rufus appeared nearly as unhappy about this fight as Lucius. A lanista for nearly thirty years, and from a family that had run a ludus for generations, he knew exactly the sort of dishonor available to his house if a single wrong move was made in the fight.

  The crowd might love it, certainly, but they could just as easily hate it. And no fight, ever, was certain.

  What would it mean to House Varinius to have their best fighter—and their returning champion—brought down by animals in the middle of the biggest celebration in years?

  The only one who could make such a decision was someone who cared very little about House Varinius—someone who had her own machinations on Caius and Lucius.

  Caius knew Lucius slept with Porcia regularly. Had he scorned her or angered her somehow?

  It didn’t matter now. The die was cast.

  “I’ll fight,” said Caius.

  “Oh, Ursus. Dear Ursus.” Porcia’s grin was positively predatory. “Of course you will. You don’t have a choice.”

  Chapter 29

  After the meeting, Caius and Lucius sat down at the small common area near the front of the cell blocks. Conall and Septus joined them, and soon they were playing a friendly round of dice.

  Lucius had a tall amphora of wine nearby, taking long gulps. Caius didn’t know how he drank so much and managed to keep his front side lean and flat as a washboard.

  At hearing the news of their incumbent fight, Septus was disgusted.

  “Don’t they know you’re the Champion of Puteoli?”

  Caius rolled. Threes only. “They know, all right.”

  “Can we do something to change their minds?” Conall asked.

  “You mean make them shit their pants?” Lucius snatched up the dice. “No. I don’t think so, Conall.”

  The smaller man laughed under his breath, but with some nervousness. They had agreed that they weren’t supposed to talk much of that incident. It was better to keep others away from the up-and-up for their own safety. But, Lucius’s tongue was loose from the wine.

  Shortly after the affair, Septus had asked Caius if he’d had anything to do with it—always a smart fellow. Caius had fessed up, unable to lie to his old friend.

  “I still can’t believe,” said Septus, scratching his beard, “that you left me out of that. I would have helped.”

  Lucius patted him on the back. “We know that, old friend. We just didn’t want to violate your sensibilities.”

  “My sensibilities are to help my friends when they want it. Especially when it comes to an ass like Flamma.”

  The air was tense. This could go wrong in a hurry.

  “I think we can all agree,” said Caius, glancing pointedly at Lucius and Conall, “that you’re as steadfast as any man. And we were wrong to hide anything from you.”

  “Agreed,” said Conall.

  Lucius took another long swig and burped. “Agreed, of course. We meant no harm, as I said. And we only—”

  “We did you wrong,” interrupted Caius.

  If Lucius talked more, he was liable to keep apologizing and justifying himself. That would only make it worse. Best to change the subject and let his drunken thoughts attach to something else.

  “Was there any indication of any other fights?” asked Conall.

  “You mean for you? No. But don’t worry, little lad,” Lucius rubbed Conall’s hair hard. “You’ll get your time in the sun.”

  Caius worried about that. Conall was brave, but reckless. The arena rewarded the one and punished the other. It was a delicate balancing act he ran, rushing headlong into attacks without thinking them through, and Caius did not wish to see his new friend killed so early.

  Many men felt fear in the face of standing before the arena. But when Conall spoke of fighting, the only fear he seemed to have was to not be allowed to fight.

  Germans, Caius thought, have a stranger set of priorities than other men.

  Although, he considered, he himself had thought that way, once upon a time. It was a great dishonor—an insult!—to be left off the list for the day’s fight. It was an honor to be closer to the last fight—the nearer one was to ending the day, the greater the prestige.

  And, naturally, the greater the purse. There was a great pride in the work he did, and he was celebrated so often and so well for his butchery that the fact of his slavery was almost unimportant.

  The arena was a seductive environment. Men and women came to watch as normal citizens, and by the end of the day they were bloodthirsty avatars of lust, wanting only to consume and to be consumed with the sight of violence. But it was not seductive only for the crowd, no.

  Within the confines of the arena, a man’s fate rested entirely on his actions. Every sword stroke, every heft of the shield, every step in the sand was a man’s essence as it rode on the razor’s edge between life and death. He was, for those spare few moments of the fight, in control of his destiny.

  At the end of the fight, if he lost, the editor may save him, leaping in on destiny’s claims like a vulture at a fallen antelope. But before that—in the fight itself—there was no man in the empire who could say that his life was entirely in his own hands. Not even the Emperor.

  And wasn’t that something?

  It truly was. And the closer Caius got to the games, the more his heart filled with the memory of that intoxication.

  He may have hated being a slave; he may have hated being away from his daughter; he may have hated the idea of all the killing and slaughter; but that freedom, that clarity of choice in the arena—kill or be killed—had a fix on his soul as sure as it did the day he had first fought.

  The four went around a few more times, rolling dice. Iunius walked by and asked if they should like to play him.

  “Should you men enjoy playing a real game? With real stakes?” he asked.

  As a eunuch, Iunius had a heavy paunch, his hair wispy around the dome of his head.

  “Well—” Conall began.

  Septus stood. “No. Iunius. Forever, no. And we would kindly ask you to go and scam someone else.”

  Iunius smiled. “I think I will. Best of luck.”

  The most unique sort of scoundrel, who took no shame in the low opinion others held h
im in. In that way, Caius supposed, he was protected.

  Lucius held the dice in one hand, clinking them together softly. “This is my fault, you know.”

  “Your fault?” Septus returned to his seat. He grabbed Lucius’s amphora of wine and took a quick gulp, ignoring Lucius’s look of mild betrayal. “What? Bringing Iunius around?”

  “Oh, that.” Lucius laughed. “Perhaps. Gods know he’s taken enough money from my winnings. He has an ear for a great many investments.”

  Septus burped, and returned the wine to Lucius. “All for the securing of his own future, I expect.”

  Lucius shrugged. “He’s not so bad.”

  “What did you mean?” Caius asked. “Your fault?”

  “Let us say it, to be discreet, that I have had a number of conversations with Porcia.”

  Conall stifled a laugh. “Is that what they’re calling it now?”

  “To be discreet,” Lucius rapped his knuckles on the table, “yes. That is what we’re calling it. And on one such occasion, not too long ago, she found me in a boisterous mood. I told her, fool that I am, that I could kill a dozen tigers with one hand. She challenged me on it, obviously seeing the boast, and so I lowered the amount to three.”

  “Three tigers with one hand?” Caius raised an eyebrow.

  “If I had to do it,” shrugged Lucius, “I think it’s possible.”

  “So,” said Caius. “She thinks you’d have no trouble surviving the fight.”

  “I expect so.”

  “You’ll be elevated. I’ll die, I suppose she thinks? She gets everything she wants.”

  Lucius nodded. “I would guess also, gambler that she is, that she made a few bets to that very effect. No doubt she placed a mighty sum down on you to die, and for me to survive.”

  Taking a moment, Caius considered. Did Porcia think so little of him that she thought he could not kill a tiger and a bear when working in tandem with Lucius?