The Time Travel Handbook

by James Wyllie

  Approaching the QUEEN’S CHAMBERS, you will see the way barred by two bodyguards, TARDIVET and MIOMANDRE DE SAINTE-MARIE. Tardivet makes the fatal error of opening fire and hitting somebody; he is instantly seized and decapitated. Try not to be distracted by this gory scene; instead keep your eyes on Miomandre, who is backed up against the entrance to the Queen’s antechambers. You will see him momentarily open the door a crack to speak to one of Marie Antoinette’s maids, telling her to ‘Save the Queen, they are here to assassinate her!’ Then, seconds after he pushes the door shut again, he will be overwhelmed by the mob, who cave in his skull with their rifle butts.

  A gang of women will now rush into Marie Antoinette’s private rooms. Finding them empty – the Austrian Whore, wearing only her petticoat, has already slipped away and made it safely to the OEIL DE BOEUF (Bull’s Eye), a locked chamber lit by a circular window, to be reunited with the King and her two children – they will vent their rage on her bed, puncturing it with their blades.

  The majority of you will maraud through the magnificent HALL OF MIRRORS – seventeen arches, each with twenty-one mirrors – in search of your prey, until your progress is blocked by National Guardsmen led by LAZARE HOCHE, who form defensive ranks, some barricaded behind upturned tables, muskets at the ready. This show of force will bring you all to a standstill.

  THE PALACE GARDENS

  If this level of violence and mayhem is too much to stomach, we suggest you take a tour of the comparatively deserted PALACE GARDENS. Stroll past the geometrically perfect flowerbeds, cross the Allée d’Apollon, with its fountain, and you will reach the centrepiece of the park, the GRAND CANAL, a massive elongated pond in the shape of a cross, a mile long long and 200-foot wide. The right arm is called the BRAS DE LA MÉNAGERIE and points towards the King’s collection of wild and exotic animals, the left one is the BRAS DE TRIANON, aiming in the direction of the Grand and Petit Trianons – neoclassical chateaux – that dominate this side of the park. Marie Antoinette keeps her special commode, a state-of-the-art flushing toilet, in the Petit Trianon.

  Wander in any direction through the wooded areas and you will encounter remarkable constructions: the GROTTE DE THÉTYS, a grotto dedicated to the sea nymph decorated with shells to resemble an underwater cave; a secluded grove housing the BOSQUET DES SOURCES, a circular edifice with thirty-two arches and twenty-eight fountains; the secluded SALLE DE BALLE, an amphitheatre with a mini-waterfall; and the GALERIE DES ANTIQUES, a monumental array of ancient sculptures imported from Rome. However, don’t wander too far afield; you’ll want to be back in front of the Palace by 9.30am for the dramatic finale.

  THE BALCONY SCENE

  While the situation inside the Palace is at a stalemate, outside the cheering crowd has grabbed a couple of Black Musketeers and are preparing to disembowel them, with Jourdan Coupe-Tête directing operations. The HEADS OF THE BODYGUARDS Tardivet and Miomandre are, meantime, being paraded round on pikes, Miomandre’s carried by an artist’s model who is dressed in pseudo-Roman robes. The fun and games will be interrupted by LAFAYETTE on his white charger. Furious, he dives into the melee, frees the Black Musketeers and restores some kind of order.

  LAFAYETTE PREVENTS POSSIBLE REGICIDE BY KISSING THE HAND OF MARIE ANTOINETTE.

  Taking command, Lafayette instructs the National Guard to occupy the Place d’Armes, the Palace courtyards and the entrance to the Avenue de Paris, then heads inside the Palace where he is admitted into the sanctuary of the Oeil de Boeuf. Here, he tries to convince the King and Queen to return to Paris. Reluctant at first, they eventually bow to the inevitable. Nevertheless, it still takes Lafayette nearly two hours to get an agreement, leaving you and the vast mob gathered in the Cour de Marbre anxiously awaiting the outcome, fearful that the morning will end in a blood-soaked confrontation with the National Guard.

  THE UNFORTUNATE TARDIVET AND MIOMANDRE RETURN ALOFT TO PARIS.

  But thankfully, at 10am, Lafayette will walk out on the balcony above you, accompanied by the King. Here LOUIS promises to come back to Paris and take up his responsibilities – and the crowd bursts into spontaneous applause. Next, Lafayette will go some way to redeeming the royal bodyguard by pinning the tricolour cockade to one of their hats; again the crowd will respond positively. Then comes the trickiest part of the performance as MARIE ANTOINETTE comes out to face the music. Hoping to win your hearts, she brings her children with her, but at the sight of them everyone will roar ‘Pas enfants!’ (‘No children!’).

  Earlier this year, on 27 June, Marie Antoinette had stood on the same balcony and introduced her children to a similarly huge gathering of citizens who were celebrating the birth of the National Assembly, and the crowd responded with genuine affection. But not today. An awkward, tense silence fills the courtyard. Lafayette, realising that one more false move will trigger a riot that will be impossible to stop, bows theatrically before his Queen and kisses her hand. Disaster is averted, and you and the mob will once again signal your approval.

  RETURN TO PARIS – AND DEPARTURE

  You and 60,000 other people will leave Versailles at 1pm. At the front and rear of this snaking, unwieldy procession will be the National Guard; at its centre, the solid gold ROYAL CARRIAGE carrying the King, the Queen (who has brought a casket of diamonds with her) and their children, escorted by Lafayette; behind it are coaches filled with courtiers, ministers and National Assembly delegates. The rest of you, a seething multitude, will ebb and flow around this parade of notables, offering protection to the train of wagons and carts filled with precious flour from the Palace stores.

  The mood will be buoyant. Women are holding their swords aloft and heartily declaring that they are ‘bringing the baker, the baker’s wife and the baker’s boy’, while National Guardsmen, entering into the spirit of things, put loaves of bread on the ends of their raised pikes. Also being transported to Paris on the end of pikes are the heads of the two unfortunate bodyguards, Tardivet and Miomandre, now sporting powdered wigs supplied by a wig-maker from Sèvres; they will both end up on display at the Palais Royal. As the huge throng passes through villages on the outskirts of Paris, some locals think it best to remain behind locked doors, while others come out to watch. You will notice groups of irate peasants throwing clods of mud at the Royal Carriage.

  By 6pm you are back in the PLACE DE GRÈVE, by now jam-packed with people, where you will watch the royal couple enter the Hôtel de Ville, wait while they are received by Mayor Bailly and representatives from all of Paris’s sixty districts, and then see them make another balcony appearance, inspiring yet more jubilation and cries of ‘Vive le Roi!’ The Roi in question, and his bedraggled wife, will leave soon after for their new home in the Tuileries.

  By now an immense street party is in full swing; Paris is literally jumping for joy. Plunge into the ecstatic festivities that will last until dawn, then make your way back to your HOTEL, from where you will DEPART.

  The Assassination of Archduke Ferdinand

  28 JUNE 1914 SARAJEVO

  THE ASSASSINATION OF THE ARCHDUKE Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie, Duchess of Hohenberg, is a defining historical moment. The gunshots that end their lives set in motion a train of events that led to the outbreak of the First World War, the deaths of millions of people, the fall of three empires, the reconfiguration of the map of Eastern Europe and the Middle East, and numerous other consequences that would shape the twentieth century. Whether or not some kind of European conflict was inevitable, it would not have happened when it did and in the way that it did without the murder of the heir to the Habsburg throne.

  The assassination itself was governed by the whims of fate: chance and coincidence determined the outcome. Given the acutely fine margins and random decisions that lead to the death of the Archduke, any alteration to the exact chain of events could seriously damage the time–space continuum. Travellers must, therefore, treat this journey with great seriousness, sticking rigorously to our guidelines.

  BRIEFING: SERBIANS AND HABSBU
RGS

  The forced withdrawal of the OTTOMAN EMPIRE from the BALKANS during the nineteenth century left a power vacuum that was fi lled by independent states with ambitions to extend their borders and claim territory they felt was rightfully theirs. The most aggressive of these was SERBIA; its nationalists dreamed of a Greater Serbia that included within it the Slav diaspora scattered across the AUSTRO-HUNGARIAN EMPIRE. Of particular interest was BOSNIA. At the Treaty of Berlin, 1878, Bosnia was placed under the informal control of the Austro-Hungarian Habsburgs, much to the annoyance of the newly liberated Serbs.

  ARCHDUKE FRANZ FERDINAND OF AUSTRIA.

  The formal absorption of Bosnia within the Habsburg realm, in 1908, was a provocation too far for ardent Serbian idealists, many of whom were linked to secret societies plotting to undermine Austro-Hungarian control of the region. Among them was the teenager who pulled the trigger – GAVRILO PRINCIP. Born in July 1894 in the village of Obljag, a poor rural enclave near the Croatian border, Princip was a restless youth who opted out of both Military School and Merchant’s School. By 1914, he had imbibed a heady cocktail of anarchism, revolutionary socialism and Serbian nationalism, and was ready to give his life for the cause. With the help of THE BLACK Hand, a shadowy cabal with links to Serbian military intelligence, Princip and his fellow conspirators decided to kill Archduke Ferdinand on his state visit to the capital.

  Sunday 28 June was a significant day for a number of reasons: it was the royal couple’s wedding anniversary, it was St Vitus Day, a saint’s day festival, and, more ominously, it was the day of the infamous BATTLE OF KOSOVO in 1389, during which a Serbian army fought an Ottoman one to decide the fate of their country. Despite a Serb assassin managing to kill the Ottoman Sultan, the battle ended in disastrous defeat for the Serbs, leading to nearly 500 years of Ottoman rule. Over time, the battle has become a cornerstone of Serbian national pride and it is zealously commemorated every year. To have the Archduke parade on Kosovo Day around Sarajevo was madness, like a red rag to a bull.

  THE TRIP

  Our Sarajevo assassination trip is designed to get you as close to the action as possible without jeopardising your security or the delicate balance of history. It is best to imagine you are on a covert mission, shadowing the assassins every step of their way, feeling what it was like to walk in their shoes. Your aim is to stay as invisible as possible, while adhering to a strict timetable; the success of the operation, and your safe extraction, depend on it.

  All visitors to Sarajevo are required to register with the local police. Obviously this is not an option for time travellers. Instead, you will arrive at a safehouse shortly after dawn on the 28th. Men should WEAR PLAIN JACKETS, TIES, WHITE SHIRTS, and either a FEZ or a FEDORA. False moustaches will be provided where necessary. Women should wear FLOOR-LENGTH DRESSES, GLOVES and appropriate HATS.

  In case you happen to be stopped by the police, you will be furnished with FALSE PAPERS and a cover story. You will also get a small MAP of your zone of operations, drawn on rice paper. If you are arrested, eat it.

  BREAKFAST MEETING

  At 7.30am you will leave the safehouse and walk to VLAJNIC’S PASTRY SHOP on Cumurija Street. Almost immediately, you will get a sense of what a multicultural city Sarajevo is. You will see mosques and synagogues rubbing shoulders with Serbian Orthodox and Croatian Catholic churches. No wonder the city is known as the ‘Jerusalem of Europe’. You will also notice both the HABSBURG FLAG (black and yellow with an Imperial eagle) and the red and yellow BOSNIAN FLAG flying from many of the buildings to celebrate the royal visit.

  At approximately 7.44am, enter Vlajnic’s. Order a coffee and something to eat: their PASTRIES are highly recommended. Try either a burek, filo pastry filled with ricotta cheese, or, for those with a sweet tooth, jabukovaca, which is stuffed with apples. Take a seat a discreet distance from the entrance. A few moments later, one of the assassins, TRIFKO GRABEZ, a slight man with a large head and pencil moustache, wearing a black jacket and collarless white top, will enter the shop with DANILO ILIC, who was involved in organising the assassination; he is almost identically dressed except for his striped tie, with remarkably similar features to Grabez but a slightly different hairstyle (short with a side parting). The two young men will approach the counter and engage in jolly banter with the owner, DJURO VLAJNIC, and his assistant, Erna Atias.

  Next to arrive is Nedeljko Cabrinovic, better known as NEDJO, slightly more distinguished-looking in a better-quality suit. Nedjo greets his colleagues, orders three cakes and a coffee, and then the three of them will walk right past you to a table at the back of the room.

  At 8am precisely, GAVRILO PRINCIP will come in. He will be easy to recognise. Wearing an ill-fitting black jacket and white shirt, he has short cropped hair, a thick, broad nose and a thin moustache above his lip; his dark, intense eyes and haunted expression will stay with you forever. He will join his fellow conspirators, staying only a few minutes, just long enough to give them each a cyanide pill, and Nedjo a bomb.

  Do not look directly at them. They are twitchy and easily spooked, ready to abort their mission at the merest sign of anything suspicious. After they are gone, wait at least ten minutes before leaving the cafe.

  GETTING INTO POSITION

  Now you will have time for a spot of reconnaissance. Once out of the pastry shop, head south for 100 yards to reach CUMURIJA BRIDGE on APPEL QUAY, the riverside road down which the royal convoy will be driving. It is here, by the bridge, that the first attempt on the Archduke’s life will take place. Notice the LAMPPOST next to it; this is where the assassin will be standing when he throws his bomb. Looking eastwards you will see a series of other bridges over the Miljacka River. The next one along is the LATIN BRIDGE, the oldest in the city. This is where Princip will be waiting.

  Alternatively, you may prefer to locate yourself on the other side of the street. Here you will get the best view of the Archduke’s car and the aftermath of the explosion. Lined with trees that provide plenty of shade, and tall, imposing residences built in a Viennese style, it will be more crowded than the riverside. There is, however, the risk of getting hit by shrapnel.

  Once you have picked your spot, move swiftly on; you might attract the wrong sort of attention if you loiter here. Take the turning opposite the Latin Bridge and you will almost immediately be at the junction of Franz Josef Street, which runs parallel to Appel Quay. On the corner you will see MORITZ SCHILLER’S JEWISH DELI and general store, identifiable by the sign above it, the produce filling the windows, and a floor-to-ceiling hoarding in the shape of a German sparkling-wine bottle. The second assassination attempt will take place directly in front of the deli. When it does, there will be clusters of people lining Franz Josef Street, so wherever you choose to stand you will not look conspicuous.

  Recce complete, you will have roughly an hour to kill before you need to be back at the first location. Be there no later than 9.45am; by then crowds of spectators will be lining the pavement and you want to ensure your view isn’t obscured.

  Given the tight schedule, we suggest you return to the Latin Bridge and cross over to the other side of the river. Here you will find a delightful PARK where you can sit beneath the trees and relax, taking in stunning views of the hills, over 5,000 feet high, that surround the city, decorated with orchards and splendid villas.

  Alternatively, walk a short distance eastwards along Franz Josef Street and you will find yourself in a large TURKISH BAZAAR. the quarter is known as BASCARSIJA and it is home to the GAZI HUSREV-BEG MOSQUE, the grandest in the city, flanked by a spectacular 140-foot-tall minaret. Named after the Ottoman governor of Bosnia who oversaw its construction, the mosque was built in the mid-sixteenth century and stands at the heart of a bustling market, with a myriad covered stalls occupied by carpet salesmen, craftsmen, greengrocers, saddlers and coppersmiths. It is quite a sight with the men in fezes, waistcoats and baggy trousers, the veiled women in brightly coloured traditional clothes.

  THREE OF THE ASSASSINS IN B
ELGRADE IN MAY 1914: TRIFKO GRABEZ, NEDELJKO CABRINOVIC (NEDJO) AND GAVRILO PRINCIP.

  THE FIRST ATTEMPT

  At 9.50am you will need to be in position near CUMURIJA BRIDGE. The weather is warm and sunny. The crowd is in good spirits. Given the potential for trouble, you may well be surprised by the minimal police presence. By 10am all SIX ASSASSINS will also be in place, spaced at regular intervals along both sides of Appel Quay. The first in line is MEHMED MEHMEDBASIC, then NEDJO, who is close to you and Cumurija Bridge. VASO CUBRILOVIC is near to him, as is CVJETKO POPOVIC, positioned on the corner of Cumurija Street. PRINCIP is next, lurking by the Latin Bridge, and finally TRIFKO GRABEZ, further along by Emperor’s Bridge. Four of them, including Princip, are armed with Belgian-made FN Model Browning revolvers with .380 ACP ammunition; all of them are carrying bombs.

  Your first sighting of the seven-car ROYAL CONVOY – which had left Sarajevo station at 9.45am and briefly visited a military barracks before driving to Appel Quay – will be at 10.08am. The first car you will see is full of local police, who have taken the place of the Archduke’s own private security team after they were mistakenly left behind at the station. In the second car are the Lord Mayor and the Chief of Police.

  The THIRD VEHICLE, a Grâf & Stift black convertible sports car, contains the ROYAL COUPLE. The ARCHDUKE is wearing a hat with an extravagant plume of light-green peacock feathers, a hussar’s uniform with a blue serge tunic, a row of medals emblazoned across his chest, and white gloves. The DUCHESS, next to him on the back seat, is in a full-length white dress with a red sash at the waist, sporting a wide-brimmed hat with dark ostrich feathers over a white veil, a fur of ermine tails and, to keep cool, a white parasol and a dark fan. She is holding a posy of flowers. Facing them on a pull-down seat is Governor OSKAR POTIOREK. On the front two bench seats are the chauffeur, LEOPOLD LOJKA, who will play a decisive if misguided role in events, and COUNT FRANZ VON HARRACH, who purchased the car in 1910. Coming up behind are the other four cars, transporting assorted officials and aides.