The Time Travel Handbook

by James Wyllie

  Botany Bay is a natural choice for the landing site, as the botanists will have a field day. The wildlife is bewitching and (to your companions) entirely unfamiliar: kangaroos and dingoes, fruit bats, lizards, snakes, huge caterpillars and butterflies, green ants, scorpions, tropical parrots …

  Moving on, you pass PORT JACKSON (Sydney Harbour), POINT DANGER, CAPE MORETON and CAPE CAPRICORN, before reaching the beautiful but hazardous GREAT BARRIER REEF. On 11 June, it bares its fangs and a stretch of razor-sharp coral will rip a hole in the ship. Cook knows the only hope is to get to shallower water or run aground, so once the sails have been lowered you will immediately set about lightening the load; iron and stone ballast, rotten stores and all but four of the guns will be thrown overboard.

  By the next day, Endeavour will be taking on a lot of water and you and every available hand will be manning the pumps. This continuous effort will pay dividends, especially after Cook manages to wrest the ship free and even more water pours in. This will be the crew’s finest hour, working together as a well-oiled machine that will prompt the normally sanguine Cook to declare that ‘no man ever behaved better than they have done on this occasion’.

  However, you are still twenty-four miles from shore and still slowly sinking, until one of the crew, Jonathan Monkhouse, comes to the rescue and ‘fothers’ the hole. This entails sewing bits of oakum and wool together into an old sail, then drawing it under the ship to allow the water pressure to force it into the yawning gap in the hull, thereby blocking it and stopping the sea coming in. Job done, you will drift towards shore and come to a halt there on the morning of the 17th.

  It will take two weeks to complete the repairs to the Endeavour; fixing the hole, scraping barnacles from the hull and mending the torn sails. You will be engaged in helping to speed this work along but there will be time for a little r & r as you camp out on the beach.

  By 5 August, you are back at sea, inching your way across the Great Barrier Reef. Its spectacular colours are seductive but the crew never lose sight of the threat lurking beneath the surface: one false move and the reef will tear you up again. There are a hair-raising few hours when the sea falls calm and light winds start easing the Endeavour towards certain destruction. Feel free to join the prayers at this point. You will be delivered at the last moment when the wind shifts course and pulls you away from danger.

  Having sailed along the whole east coast, you will come to CAPE YORK on 22 August. Here Cook will name the territory NEW SOUTH WALES and you will stand on deck as he and a few men land on the tiny Possession Island, where you will see them raise the British flag, a ceremony marked by three musket shots, answered by three volleys from the Endeavour’s guns and three cheers from the rest of you.

  THE ENDEAVOUR UNDERGOING REPAIRS OFF THE EAST COAST OF AUSTRALIA.

  HOMEWARD BOUND

  23 AUGUST 1770–12 JULY 1771

  The ailing Endeavour – its timber riddled with shipworms, its pumps worn and its bottom still leaking – will now limp towards the known world, the DUTCH EAST INDIES, and sail past TIMOR, JAVA and SUVA before dropping anchor alongside Dutch ships and a lone English merchantman in the harbour at BATAVIA.

  The Dutch-governed settlement of Batavia has a mixed population – European, Polynesian and Chinese – of around 20,000 in the city and another 100,000 in the suburbs, and boasts a town hall, churches and a network of canals, designed to mirror Amsterdam. Unfortunately, after an earthquake blocked the flow of fresh water, the canals have become stagnant pools teeming with millions of mosquitos and caked in foul-smelling mud littered with human waste and dead animals. It is an ideal breeding ground for malaria and dysentery, and within days the majority of the Endeavour’s crew are on the sick list. (To avoid this calamity, you will be met soon after landing by a company representative disguised as a Dutch merchant sailor. While engaging you in idle chatter, he will slip you antimalarial medication and pills to ward off dysentery; it is enough to protect you, and you alone, from infection.) By the end of your stay in Batavia, prolonged by the repair work needed to reinvigorate the Endeavour, seven crew will be dead from malaria, and forty too sick to perform their duties; Tupia, your Tahitian guide, is the first to succumb.

  Back at sea, after a swift stop off at Prince’s Island to take on water, dysentery will raise its ugly head. Over the next few months another thirty-two of the party will pass away. This will be your darkest hour. Half your shipmates will have perished, along with the two Scandinavian botanists, the remaining artist and the astronomer.

  Everyone’s spirits will be lifted a little, though, when the CAPE OF GOOD HOPE is sighted. Two days later, on 15 March 1771, you will arrive in CAPE TOWN. In the idyllic setting of this sleepy outpost, with its whitewashed colonial-style buildings, its vineyards, orchards and kitchen gardens, and Table Mountain hovering in the background, you can shed some of the stress of the last few months. You will be able to take leisurely strolls through its picturesque streets and visit the local MENAGERIE with its ostriches, antelopes and zebras. You will also eat well courtesy of the Captain: Cook will purchase a whole ox for you to enjoy.

  Somewhat refreshed, the surviving party will gird its loins for the final stretch of the journey. As you CROSS THE ATLANTIC, you will have merchant ships for company, and on 15 May you will witness an ECLIPSE OF THE SUN. When you clear the BAY OF BISCAY on 7 July, you will know the end is in sight. Your first glimpse of England will be on the 10th. By the 12th you will have reached Beachy Head: that afternoon you will drop anchor at the port of DEAL in Kent.

  DEPARTURE

  It is important not to get caught up in the riotous celebrations that will greet the Endeavour’s return. Deal is a small but bustling port with a reputation for hard drinking, brawling and vice in all its forms. It is also a favoured hunting ground for the Impress Service; you could easily find yourself press ganged again and on a ship going god knows where. Instead, find the Dover Road and walk south for about two miles until you reach the village of UPPER WALMER. There you can safely stop at the ROYAL STANDARD INN for a quick drink to toast your survival before strolling a short distance to OLD ST MARY’S CHURCH, from where you will DEPART.

  PART FIVE

  EXTREME EVENTS

  The Eruption of Vesuvius

  23–25 AUGUST AD 79 POMPEII

  THE ERUPTION OF MOUNT VESUVIUS WAS not the largest or deadliest in history. Yet it holds a special place in our imagination thanks to the ruins it left behind. Year after year, thousands troop round the excavations at Pompeii and Herculaneum hoping to recapture something of their Roman life, so movingly ‘caught in time’. Now you can experience it in real time. This extreme travel trip gives you the chance to sample the day-to-day life of these energetic and cosmopolitan Roman towns – as well as to witness an awesome and spectacular act of nature. Having done so, you will be in a position to fully appreciate the scale of the tragedy as it unfolds before your eyes. At some point during your stay, you may become overwhelmed by the impulse to suggest to some of the locals that they might want to leave town for a few days. And take all their possessions with them. This is strictly forbidden. If you feel you are unable to control your charitable, humane instincts, then Vesuvius is not the trip for you. Interaction with the citizens must not become too intimate or friendly.

  You will spend a day and night in POMPEII and a day in the seaside town of HERCULANEUM, before boarding a specially chartered SHIP in the Bay of Naples, from where you will watch the cataclysm. The pitch black clouds of ash and debris produced by the eruption cloak the surrounding countryside for miles in all directions, making it impossible to find a decent vantage point on land. At sea, however, you will get an unobstructed, if long-distance, view of the ghastly proceedings.

  BRIEFING: VESUVIUS

  POMPEII’s extremely pleasant climate, proximity to the sea and fertile soil has meant there has been a settlement here since the sixth century BC. The city came under the control of Rome somewhat reluctantly in the fourth century BC and jo
ined a failed rebellion against its masters in 89 BC. After that, however, it was integrated peacefully into the Empire and has thrived; its population is currently around 12,000, with another 24,000 in its rural area. They are sustained by some of the best agricultural soil in Italy – the mineral-rich volcanic earth produces an abundance of cereals, grapes, olives, apricots, figs, peaches, almonds and walnuts, as well as being ideal for grazing sheep. This plethora of goods is traded in the city and exported across the Empire, while imports of more exotic fare – spices, perfumes, cloths, jewellery – flow in, making Pompeii an important centre for merchants.

  HERCULANEUM shares a similar history to Pompeii, though it is a little smaller, and wealthier. It has some of the Empire’s finest villas in the town and vicinity.

  VESUVIUS, the author of both cities’ destruction, is a so-called ‘humpbacked’ mountain, formed by a collision of two tectonic plates, the African and Eurasian, roughly 25,000 years ago. Before AD 79, there have been at least three other major eruptions, but none matched the ferocity of what you are about to witness, in which Vesuvius spewed out molten rock and pulverised pumice at a rate of 1.5 million tons per second, forming hydrothermal pyroclastic flows – molten lava with an accumulated thermal energy 100,000 times greater than the atomic bomb that levelled Hiroshima.

  THE TRIP

  You will arrive just outside the city of POMPEII, near family burial grounds marked by memorials of all kinds, ranging from large, ornate, multistorey structures honouring the rich and powerful, to the simplest of gravestones. You will be wearing a brightly coloured toga to help you blend into your environment; Pompeii is a city that likes its colours, and the houses are painted in bright reds, yellows and blues. After a short walk, you will enter the city via the NORTH-EASTERN GATE.

  ROOMS, FOOD AND NIGHTLIFE

  You will be staying in exclusive RENTED APARTMENTS on the upper floors of multipurpose buildings near the centre of Pompeii. These light, airy and spacious condos, with large windows and terraces, luxury fixtures and fittings, and their own TOILET (a wooden seat over a chute carved in the wall, emptying into a cesspit down below), will give you the chance to relax and unwind after the day’s exertions. A small potable oven (farnus), with its own grill, provides a self-catering option.

  There are, however, plenty of eating options around the city, and the fresh FISH DISHES are highly recommended. Do take the opportunity to sample garum, the fish sauce that is something of a speciality. Made from a mixture of sea salt and seafood, fermented in a vat for a few months in the sun then decanted into jugs, the very best comes from pure mackerel (liquaminis flos). But be wary: the low-grade stuff is no better than eating rotten seafood.

  For carnivores, the most often served meat is PORK, which usually comes in the form of sausages or black pudding. For the unsqueamish, there is the Roman delicacy of DORMICE. Fed on nuts, the dormice are fattened up in specially designed jars, before being stuffed with pork, peppers and nuts, all glued together by garum, and cooked until tender. Some of the best-quality produce can be found in taverns around the MACELLUM (meat market) situated in the FORUM.

  Another option is STREET FOOD or buying directly from retailers. There are BAKERS everywhere supplying fresh bread from their premises, using big ovens, not unlike present-day pizza ones. The dough is prepared in an adjacent room, while out back is the flour mill powered by a beast of burden. A loaf of bread with some local cheese and olive oil may be all you need for lunch. Don’t hesitate to sample the LOCAL WINES. They have a decent reputation, particularly the Falernian brand.

  You may want to take your evening meal early, as if you venture out after dark you’ll need to keep your wits about you. With no light except the stars above, and all the houses, shops and workshops shuttered up, the streets are monopolised by drunken revellers and muggers.

  If you do want to take in some local nightlife, though, you can take your pick from plenty of TAVERNAS. Asides from drinking, these play host to dice-based board games. GAMBLING is the norm, and if you want to avoid trouble it’s best to watch rather than participate. Note also that these tavernas are exceptionally male environments. Female travellers may find the ambience intimidating and will almost certainly attract unwanted attention, as the assumption will be that you are a woman of easy virtue.

  23 AUGUST: POMPEII STREET LIFE:

  POMPEII is not a large city and the best way to explore it is on foot. Wheeled transport is a nightmare, the narrow, single lane roads choked with traffic as traders move their wares in carts drawn by donkeys or mules, leaving no room for manoeuvre. Congestion is such a problem that you will see traffic-calming measures all over the place, including bollards and one-way streets.

  Even crossing the road can be a hazardous affair, due to the garbage and waste, both human and animal, scattered in your path. Thankfully there are high, sturdy pavements and, to avoid treading in anything untoward, there are stepping stones from one side of the street to another, with gaps between for cart wheels to pass through. It’s going to get hot in the August sunshine, so remember to keep hydrated. Luckily the locals have that covered: at regular intervals, often at major junctions or crossroads, are WATER FOUNTAINS with large spouts and continuously running water supplied by a tank underneath. The city’s water is entirely safe to drink. It comes from an aqueduct that sends it down the mountain to a tall water castle just outside the walls. It then distributes the water to a dozen or so towers made of stone and brick, up to twenty feet tall, with a lead tank at the top, which control and contain the flow of water through pipes below the pavements.

  Pompeii is full of vivid, vibrant imagery everywhere you turn. There are large formal SCULPTURES of prominent citizens and figures from history, and shrines dedicated to the ever-present gods. Look more closely and you will also see dozens of smaller figures carved into the street or next to shops and businesses. Particularly common are dwarf-like figures with huge PHALLUSES; aside from being a symbol of fertility and male power, the phallus also represents good luck.

  Most striking is the GRAFFITI. The life of the city is recorded in these scrawls, etched into every available surface. The walls will speak to you of politics and public affairs. They advertise forthcoming events and honour local celebrities. They boast of sexual conquest and desire, of love gained and lost, and feature quotes from the great poets and writers of antiquity.

  VESUVIUS DEPICTED IN A FRESCO OF BACCHUS AT POMPEII. THE MOUNTAIN WILL NEVER LOOK LIKE THIS AGAIN, AS ITS ENTIRE CONE WILL BE BLOWN OFF BY THE ERUPTION.

  This tradition of popular artistic expression extends to the SIGNS outside shops. The best feature intricate, detailed images, such as a builder’s with symbols of his trade – tools, chisels, mallet and the ubiquitous phallus. The sheer volume and diversity of retailers and craftsmen – textile merchants, fashion houses, barbers, perfumers, jewellers, cobblers, spice stalls and so on – makes for excellent window shopping. You will probably notice a number of brothels (lupanari), too. Pompeii has quite a reputation in this respect and Roman men will pop in during the day for a service.

  As you wander round, you will notice that large parts of Pompeii are undergoing RECONSTRUCTION AND RENOVATION, with many of its most prominent public buildings out of commission. In some cases the rebuilding work is well advanced, in others there is little to see except rubble. For example, the AMPHITHEATRE, site of gruelling gladiatorial contests and blood-soaked spectacles involving wild animals, is closed due to construction work. This disruption is the result of a major earthquake that struck the city on 5 February 62 AD, measuring 5 to 6 on the Richter scale. On the day of the quake, the Forum had been packed with people attending two sacrifices to mark the anniversary of Emperor Augustus taking power and a feast to honour city gods, adding to the chaos and the death toll.

  Entering the FORUM, a great open space in the heart of the city, the impact of the earthquake will be evident. Flanked by colonnades of columns on all sides, it is the home of two major temples; the TEMPLE OF APOLLO, the
current version dating back to the second century BC, and the TEMPLE OF JUPITER, JUNO AND MINERVA, which was severely hit by the quake. There is also a house dedicated to the priestess EUMACHIA, daughter of a well-to-do wine merchant, plus the BASILICA, the largest public building in Pompeii, the surface of which is covered in graffiti. Resist the temptation to add your own ‘I was here’ to the hundreds of messages already carved into its façade.

  The TEMPLE OF APOLLO, with its exterior columns and triangular gables, is well worth a look. Climb the steps up to a podium and then go in through its high doors and you will be greeted by statues of the relevant gods and goddesses, alongside dedications and tributes left by worshippers. Otherwise, the interior is relatively austere, a plain, simple space, not designed for major religious ceremonies or rituals (which took place in the Forum proper).

  UP POMPEII! ROMANS HAVE A RELAXED ATTITUDE TO SEX AND YOU’LL SEE A RICH VARIETY OF ACTS DEPICTED IN BOTH PUBLIC AND PRIVATE BUILDINGS.

  No day in Pompeii would be complete without a visit to the BATHS. You will need to be comfortable with nudity, as everybody will be naked, though currently the facilities are segregated by sex. Travellers hoping to indulge in mixed bathing will be disappointed that the Central Baths, the only venue in the city where men and women mingle together, is still undergoing repair work from the earthquake.