Forever Breathing (Just Breathe #3)

by Heather Allen

  I shake myself out of the moment and attribute it to stress. I’m just stressed about everything and I’m imagining things.

  I answer her with as much authority I can muster, “I need to talk to someone in charge. It’s important.”

  She frowns, looks down it seems as if she’s deflated and turns, swimming back around the corner fr thnt.”

  Chapter 19

  Ever

  The obvious amusement on Alex’s face as I suddenly appeared to him across the room quickly turns to worry. He glances to the other side of the room at an open doorway. I follow his gaze and watch as he rushes to close the door. It strikes me that this room is very different than any I’ve ever been in, while under the sea. It is pure white. The walls, floor and rock looking chairs are all white. Nothing I’ve seen is so void of color in the sea. The lack of color doesn’t sit well with me.

  Alex approaches me apprehensively almost as if he is unsure that I am really here. He places his hands gently on my shoulders forcing me to look up at him and he asks softly but with serious eyes, “Ever, why are you here?”

  I want to squirm out of his grasp but that would betray my plan so I stay still. Then I focus on what he says, at first I hear that same familiar, caring quality in his voice but before I answer, it strikes me that there was worry in there too.

  “I’m… I just…I changed my mind. I know there is no way Jaspen will win and I thought…” I can’t even finish. There is no way I am believable. I hate having to lie to him. He has always been so good to me. My heart is beating a million miles a minute and my breathing is coming in shorter than what I would like.

  I try again and finish as quickly as I can, “I want to be here… with you.”

  Surprise registers on his face then confusion. Finally, I see in his face, a clarity that has been missing for a while and he smiles letting the lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth appear. That damn dimple shines at me, smack dab in the center of his cheek. I realize at this point my heart has no flutter, no butterflies, just sadness that I am giving him what he has wanted for so long, but really I’m not.

  He asks with incredulity in his voice, “Really? You came here for me?”

  I nod trying to convince him and myself so that I can continue with the lie.

  His arms leave my shoulders and spread welcoming me in. I let him embrace me as he has so many times before and it feels good to be here in the arms of my friend. I really have missed him. But I really miss Jack’s arms and I feel so horrible as if this is the worst thing I could do to Alex and Jack.

  Alex squeezes tighter and whispers, “I’ve missed you, Ever.”

  I stutter, “I’ve… missed you too.” Just not in the same way. Oh boy!

  After a few minutes, he loosens his grasp and backs up grabbing my hand.

  He takes a deep breath and confesses, “This is going to be very difficult to explain to Roman.”

  I frown, “Roman, who is that?”

  He lifts his free hand and brushes my hair out of my face.

  “He is the leader here. He probably won’t take your story at face value. Especially since James was just here.”

  My heart stops and I ask him forgetting about everything else, “Who? James?…as in my brother?”

  He nods frowning, “He just left less than an hour ago. You didn’t know he was coming?”

  I shake my head unable to answer. What is my brother doing here? He told me he was staying on land. This upsets me big time. I thought he was safe. This is not a place where he can be safe.

  I ask with urgency, “Alex, why was he here? Is he still here?”

  He stares at me before answering as if gauging my reaction. The funny thing is, that was probably the only real thing he’s seen since I arrived. I am shell-shocked that James was here and majorly concerned now.

  “No, he left. I told him to go. I think he was here because of Sara.”

  I gasp before he can finish, “What, no…”

  He places his hand on my cheek to comfort me but I back away and break all connections between us.

  I ask loudly, “Why would he follow her here? She tried to kill me.”

  Alex shakes his head, “Ever, I’m not sure but I think he had other reasons too. I think he was going to somehow try and help Jaspen’s city, to keep you safe. I told him it would never work. Roman is paranoid, he would have seen right through him.”

  My heart speeds up at his revelation. I am doing exactly what James was trying to do. Will they see straight through me? James is so much more convincing than I am. I feel a tingle rise up and chastise myself for letting myself get all worked up. Fainting will surly give me up. I take a few deep breaths and focus.

  At the third one, I’ve calmed down a little and the tingle, usually signaling that I am going to lose it, has just about disappeared. I look up and my eyes meet Alex’s beautiful green ones. I see a tiny ounce of doubt in them. Just a hint but that’s all there needs to be and then I won’t be able to do what I came here to do. I picture Jack’s face and my heart just about bursts thinking about how much I love him. I look around the room trying to gather the courage I need. I glance back, meeting Alex’s intent stare and I do the only thing I can think of, to discard that doubt. I swim forward, wrap my arms around Alex’s neck and kiss him. His kiss is reluctant at first but he finally gives in. I do the very best acting Ivery ac"+0"ve ever done and I feel terrible about it.

  ***

  The change in Alex was instant. As soon as I saw his face after that kiss, I knew I had him. Knowing I am hurting him without his knowledge, kills me but I soldier on. Jack and the freedom to choose are my priorities and they will remain. We all make our choices and Alex made his by coming here. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

  He was reluctant to take me to see this Roman guy, but I insisted. I need to get it over with.

  We stop in front of a stained glass door. The glass depicts various scenes of mer-people clad in silver and gold armor fighting. It reminds me of the battle we just had back home. It’s forever cemented in my brain. I wouldn’t need anything to remind me, maybe something to help me forget. Alex pushes on the doors and they open easily into a room with a marble floor and black walls. This castle or wherever we are, is quite different than anything I’ve ever seen. It reminds me of art deco style. The one thing I do notice though as I glance forward are three intricately carved golden thrones centered on a raised platform. Unfortunately, the one person I never want to see again is seated right in the middle with a smug look, Metea. If I never saw her again it would be too soon. My confidence takes a nose dive. I wish for the tingle to come or better yet, maybe I can abort the mission and travel back home. I close my eyes for a second, unsure of, what I should do.

  Alex brings me back though. He grabs my hand, squeezes, and leans over whispering into my ear, “It’s okay, I’m here.”

  It works momentarily and I gather some wits, opening my eyes. Alex always helped to boost my confidence. I glance over and he smiles. It reminds me of the first time I laid eyes on this witch, seated in front of us. I square my shoulders, refusing to let her get the best of me again.

  As we approach, there is movement behind the chairs and a very large mer-man with a gruff face and a squared jaw swims out. He is discussing something with a smaller man who seems to be taking mental notes. We stop ten feet from the thrones and he looks up as we do. My confidence falters again when my eyes meet his.

  I lean over to Alex and whisper, “Is that…”

  Before he can utter a word, the mer-man speaks up and meets my eyes, “Yes, It is, I am Jaspen’s brother. And you, you are his granddaughter. To what, do we owe the honor of a second Harding visitor within the same day?”

  I am flabbergasted. Jaspen’s brother. There is more to this whole thing than I had originally thought. I wonder if Jaspen already knows who is behind all of this. Oh wow, how are we all going to come out of this in one piece?

  His raspy voice interrupts my thoughts, “Why a
re you here?”

  I look over to Alex for help. Suddenly I can’t find any words. Some actress I am. I haven’t even been here an hour and I’m already giving myself up.

  Chapter 20

  James

  I followed the spear girl through the cave, going deeper and deeper. These caves seem so much larger than the Erebus caves back home. As we swim deeper into the cave, I notice that it becomes more natural looking.The walls start to resemble rock and the floor turns to soft sand. She finally stops at a wooden door and looks up at me with a worried expression. There must be a reason there are no people out near the front of the caves. I have the feeling I am about to enter into something way bigger than anything I could’ve imagined.

  She looks forward, takes a deep breath and pushes the door open. The first thing that strikes me when I glance into the room is the light glowing through the small space. It seems to be coming from up above. I look up and see the luminescent tubes that seem to be everywhere under the sea. The light shining down gives everything a sheer glow. I also notice there are no other people, still. I look back over at her as she enters the room.

  She turns around to face me and tells me with a serious look, “The next room is in air so you will need to ‘will’ your legs when I let the water go.”

  I nod not knowing what else to say but eating her up with each look. She closes the door we just came through and closes her eyes. The water level slowly falls as if a giant drain were pulling it from underneath us. I ‘will’ my legs as soon as the new air hits my nostrils. I stumble on wobbly legs as the last of the water disappears. Then I focus on her and notice her tiny figure that is just about the most adorable thing I have ever seen. What is my problem? Just this morning I was still pining for Sara. I shake my head to clear it and look across the room to another door.

  She follows my gaze and looks back at me almost silently pleading with me not to make her go in there. I want to ask her what is wrong, and why she looks so scared, but I keep my mouth closed.

  She walks up to the door, her hand lingering on the handle for a minute, taking a deep breath, she pushes it open. As soon as it clears the door frame, I see movement on the other side and the same lighting as in this room. She walks through the doorway looking back at me. She signals with her head for me to follow. I stride through the doorway and surprise hits me at the sight in front of me.

  There are people, finally. They are all moving with a purpose. The room we enter seems to be an fon>

  An older woman, graying at her temples with short blonde hair comes up to us, glances in my direction unsure and whispers to the girl, “Alody, I’m glad you’re back. You’re father seems to be taking a turn for the worse.”

  Her voice lowers more, “Were you able to get the medicine?”

  Alody is her name. I didn’t even get her name back there. It couldn’t be more perfect for her though.

  She glances up at me with a sad glance and looks back to the woman, “I wasn’t able to get out of the caves.”

  She hurriedly says to me, “James, right?”

  I nod.

  “I…um…have to go. This is Jenna. She will take you to the meeting cave.”

  I ask, “Will I be able to speak with whoever is in charge there?”

  She quickly looks at Jenna and back to me, “Yes, just be patient. Please.”

  Jenna doesn’t wait for me to agree. She walks toward a tunnel to the right. My eyes linger on Alody but before I can say anything she turns and hurries down the tunnel to the left of us. I could follow her but that probably won’t give the best impression and I really need to talk to someone who knows something, not follow some girl that has me smitten.

  Jenna keeps walking silently and doesn’t bother to check that I am following. She is dressed in more clothing than I have seen under the sea in a long time. Usually everyone walks around in bathing suit pieces and parts but this woman has a long skirt, topped with a long sleeved shirt and a scarf of some sort around her shoulders. All of her clothing seems very worn and faded. I glance down and see her feet are bare like mine. That is one thing that I think won’t ever change, shoes aren’t needed here. After about ten minutes of winding tunnels, we enter a pretty immense room laden with tables and benches in rows. Jenna turns and gestures that I should sit down.

  I oblige but ask, “Who is in charge here? When will he be here?”

  She looks back down the tunnel we came from and glances back to me, “Soon, be patient as Alody asked.”

  With that, she walks away, back the way we came. I look around the room trying to get a feel for these people. This is way different than the Erebus caves back home. Many of the people in this room walk through but don’t stop. They glance in my direction but quickly look down as if there is such sadness. They are also dressed the same as the Jenna woman, in worn, drab clothing.

  I sit in that spot for a long time. I’m not sure how long but it seems like hours. A watch would have been handy to have. When there are less and less people walking through, I get the feeling it’s night and they have all gone to bed. I’m tempted to go back and find Alody, but I promised her I would wait.

  When I haven’t seen a soul for probably an hour, she strolls in from the same tunnel I walked down following Jenna. She has changed into shorts and a tank top that hug her little curves perfectly. They must have been under air for a while. This is the only thing I can think to explain all the clothes.

  I stand and stretch my legs. Her still worried eyes meet mine. I notice they aren’t thng I all worried though, maybe a little hope in there.

  “James, I’m glad you’re still here. I know you’ve waited all day. Can we sit for a minute and then I’ll find some food?”

  I sit back down and gesture to the bench across from me. She slides in and grasps her hands together. She breathes deeply and looks around before telling me, “I’m kind of the one in charge at the moment.”

  My heart stops at this. What did you get yourself into James? This girl couldn’t hurt a fly.

  I have to stifle any humor in this because it’s really not funny at all. Maybe this is why they all seem to be hiding.

  I shake my head, “Then if you are in charge, are you Erebus or Lior?”

  She frowns and looks uneasy suddenly, “Did Roman send you?”

  “No, most definitely not. I just met that guy today and he’s pretty scary.”

  She looks relieved.

  “We are Erebus. Roman is scary. That’s why we are back in these caves. He has threatened all of the Erebus.”

  I look around and we are still alone. It strikes me as odd that the Erebus are so trusting of me. I sat here all day and no one asked me my business. For all they knew Roman did send me.

  I frown at her and ask curiously, “Why did you bring me back here if you thought I might be a Lior?”

  A small smile spreads across her lips and my heart stops. I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. Her perfect white teeth and lips seem to brighten everything around us as if a spotlight just shone down on us. I must be having an ‘Ever’ attack, there is no other explanation.

  “I saw your arm and I know I stabbed you with that spear. You aren’t Lior, no one has that healing power. Well, there is only one and she is a Lior, but I just know you aren’t. The only other mer-people with that ability are Erebus and there aren’t many.”

  She knows a little but not everything obviously. She must not know that Metea has family.

  “You are right, I’m not a Lior but I’m not so far removed from Metea.”

  A scared look crosses her face. I reach across the table to reassure her. When I gently put my hand over hers, a spark shoots up my arm and into the rest of me. She pulls her hand away and looks at me uneasily. She pulls both arms from the table and cowers back. I’m not sure where it’s coming from but she is obviously feeling the same spark I feel when we touch.

  “Who are you exactly?”

  “My name is James, James Harding. I am Metea’s very great grandson.
My grandmother was married to Jaspen as well so that makes him my immediate grandfather.”

  She looks really scared at this point. If she were a mouse she would have scurried out of here already. She seems to battle something but finally sits up straighter, squares her shoulders and places her hands on the table.

  “If you are related to Jaspen, you must have come from his city.”

  I nod unsure where she is going with this.

  Her face darkens and anger enters her tone, “Because of you and your grandfather, Roman is attacking all of the Erebus.”

  I am finally seeing it now. Roman is scared of more rebellion. I’m sad for this girl because I would like nothing more than to take away the obvious fear she is feeling.

  She adds curtly, “You being here will just cause more trouble for us.”

  She gets up and demands, “You need to leave.”

  I shake my head, “Actually I came to help. I want to help free you from the Lior rule. We just did it back home. It can be done again.”

  She glares down at me, “You said you just met Roman today. That means he knows you are here. They will come looking for you. You need to leave.”

  I get up and try to reason with her, “No, you don’t understand. If you don’t stand up for yourselves, you won’t ever be free to choose and be who you want to be.”

  She shakes her head and turns toward the tunnel, “James, go home and leave us alone. We didn’t ask for this.”

  She walks to the tunnel but I refuse to let her get away. I have to help. Somehow I know this is where I’m supposed to be, to help. I follow her for a few feet. She spins on her heel and points angrily at me hitting my chest, forcing me to hit the cave wall with my back.

  “Go home, my father…I can’t take anymore loss. You’ll just make it worse.”

  I watch as all of her strength leaks away and her voice falters, “It’s just not fair.”

  She starts to quietly cry placing her hands over her face.