Forever Breathing (Just Breathe #3)

by Heather Allen

  ***

  I feel something warm in my hand. I try to squeeze onto it but then it moves away. Wait, maybe that will help get me out of here. I strain again to keep a thought. My hand, focus Ever on your hand, I tell myself. That warm thing holds my hand again. I try so hard to focus on that hand. Suddenly there are muffled voices. I think I recognize them. Is Jack still looking for me? Is Alex looking for me? No one knows I’m here. How is there something warm in my hand? I was alone in the ‘dungeon’. Oh crap, my legs. Suddenly my lungs are burning. I can’t catch my breath and darkness…

  ***

  I wake again but I still can’t open my eyes. I’m aware of my legs but it feels different, the air is moving my chest, I can feel it. Something warm is still in my hand. A voice whispers to me, “Ever, I’m here. Please come back to us.”

  I want to yell at Jack that I’m right here but for some reason I know my voice won’t work. I focus on my hand and then my legs. The rocks and chains are gone. I know that much. But before I can think about anything else, sleep takes over and I doze off…

  ***

  I wake this time with more energy. I have to somehow get back to Jack. I focus on my hands again and then my legs. I try with all my energy to squeeze the warm thing in my hand. As soon as I do his voice speaks to me, “Ever, I’m here. Do it again.” Do what again? He seems closer now. I squeeze the warm thing again and he whispers, “That’s it Ever, we’re here. You can wake up when you’re ready.”

  I stop squeezing. What? Wake up? I thought I was back in a dream or still in the room back at Roman’s.

  I think about Jack and how he says he is here. Why can’t I open my eyes and see his beautiful blues. I squeeze again hoping to at least hear his voice again.

  “Yes Ever, I’m here. I will always be here. I will wait forever if that’s what it takes.”

  Forever. I focus on that word, forever. Yes, Jack is my forever. I smile or at least I think I do…

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  Chapter 40

  James

  Ever’s been out for four days and I am really starting to worry. She squeezes our hands when we place them in her’s but there’s no other indication that she’s still there. I am bracing myself for the worst. I suddenly know how Alody felt when her father was dying. I hug her tighter to my chest just knowing that she felt this horrible and there was nothing I could do to help her through it.

  Her weight shifts and she faces me looking tired but beautiful, “Hey, you know I have to go to the castle today.”

  I look away for a minute. The fact that my sister is here but she really isn’t takes up every waking moment for me, right now. But my strong girl here knows otherwise. Today she is to meet with her people and Jaspen to work out a plan. I’m not an idiot. I know that Roman is coming regardless of whether Ever wakes up. Regardless of whether we’re ready for him, he’ll be here. I know I need to go with her but I’m so afraid that if I leave, I’ll miss her last breath. How did it all come to this and how did we all fail to protect her?

  “I know, I should come with you.”

  She shakes her head and places her hand on my knee, “No, you stay here and see to your sister.” I knew she would give me an out but I still feel guilty. I want to go with her but I can’t right now and she understands. I lean over and our lips meet briefly. She smiles and gets up.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  I nod and watch her walk out the door. I glance back to my sister laying there so peacefully with Jack by her side and I’m glad she doesn’t have to go through this again. This battle is imminent and it probably won’t end the way we would all like. I know, way to be optimistic James. I’m just telling it like it is and trying to face the fact that Roman is a scary dude with a lot of people behind him. We brought Alody’s people but that is chump change compared to what’s coming.

  ***

  After dinner Alody makes it back to Amber’s dwelling. She seems happy and positive about what she and Japsen planned. I find it pretty ironic that he has let her in so easily. I guess he wants it so bad at whatever cost. I can only imagine how this thing is woven with the fact that he and Roman are brothers. There must be some other animosity between them. I wonder if we are all really fighting for the same thing. Probably not.

  I am sitting with Ever while Alody fills Jack and Amber in on the plans, she and Jaspen discussed. She told me that Jaspen keeps asking if Ever has wo΀ken up yet. Of course he wants his precious information. I doubt Ever even found anything out. Alex refused to help me out when I got there. He probably tried to send Ever away but she didn’t leave. She’s so stubborn.

  I’m holding her hand thinking about how I’m going to tell my parents. What I’m going to tell my parents, when I feel the familiar squeeze. I squeeze back and watch her face; still no change. It all makes me so mad. We wouldn’t be in this spot if she would have just stayed put and wished differently on her birthday. But I would have never met Alody. Ugh! I just want her to come back to us.

  “Can you…not squeeze so…hard.” A scratchy, barely audible voice fills my ears.

  I look down to my sister. Her eyes are still closed but a tiny smirk shows at the corner of her lips.

  Loosening my grip I ask hesitantly, “Ever, are you awake?”

  Her hand squeezes mine tighter than I’ve felt yet.

  I ask, “Do you want me to go and get Jack?”

  Her head tilts barely in a small nod. I release her hand and run down the hall, into the front room. Alody, Jack, and Amber are sitting around still looking somber.

  I announce out of breath not from running but disbelief, “She’s awake!”

  All three look up at me like a deer in headlights and scramble past me to her room. Jack sits on the edge grabbing her hand. He brushes his other hand through her hair and whispers, “Ever, hey baby, we missed you so much.”

  A small smile touches her lips. Her eye lashes move gently but her eyes still don’t open. It seems as if she is struggling to get them open. Alody, Amber and I stand behind Jack and wait. All our stares are fixed on her.

  Jack encourages her, “You can do it, I know you can. As stubborn as you are…fight Ever, come back to us.”

  Her eyelids flutter still but open just a slit and close again. Amber crosses the room and lowers the lighting making the room dim. She tries again. This time I can see green peek out between the slits. Jack rubs her cheek the entire time encouraging her. I look over to Alody and place my arm around her shoulders. She stands on her toes and whispers in my ear, “I think she’s going to be alright.” I think Alody is right. Ever is going to be fine and for once I feel like anything that comes our way is nothing compared to what we have just overcome.

  Chapter 41

  Ever

  I’m so tired but I struggle to keep from drifting again. I’m fightրing to stay awake, this I know. The rest I’m not sure about. I keep hearing Jack’s voice and it sounds so close. It seems as though it’s still part of my dream but I’m not sure anymore. I keep trying to move but none of my limbs want to cooperate. My hand is the only thing I seem to be able to move. My hand. Something is pinning it tightly and it hurts. I try to open my mouth to speak but it feels like it’s glued closed. I focus on my hand and realize it’s being squeezed by someone. I try to speak again but my lips are dry and cracked when I break them apart. A raspy voice, I don’t recognize comes out when I try to help my poor hand, “Can you…not squeeze…so hard.”

  I hear James’ voice in response, “Ever, are you awake?”

  I try for a smile but I’m not sure how it looks to him. Then he asks me, “Do you want me to go and get Jack.”

  Of course I want Jack. Is he near? How are you here? Where are we? Am I still dreaming? All of these questions run through my head. I don’t even know how to form the words to ask them so I nod my head. If Jack is close and I’m not dreaming then I must be in heaven.

  Before I can think about anything else I hear his beautiful voice, “You can
do it, I know you can. As stubborn as you are…fight Ever, come back to us.” Something grasps my hand and a shock shoots up my arm. I’ve missed that feeling. Suddenly I know this is real and I’m not dreaming.

  I have the urge to give him a hard time for that remark about my stubbornness but instead I fight. I try so hard to open my eyes. At first nothing happens and I just want to let this exhaustion take over but then I focus and feel something on my cheek. A tingling sensation on my cheek back and forth, it’s soothing. I know it’s Jack and I know I have to fight harder. I push through the darkness and try so hard to break the seal preventing my eyes from opening. At first I am rewarded with tiny speckle s of light dancing in front of me. So I push harder. My lashes brush the tops of my cheek before finally fluttering open. Just inches from me is the sight I will never get tired of for the rest of my life, Jack. His eyes are ringed with dark circles and crinkles at the edges but I watch as a stark green color moves away and clear, bright, blue replaces it.

  “Ever, I…I ..don’t have the words. I love you so much.” The emotion on his face tells me everything. I must have put him through the ringer again. Guilt settles over me because I keep doing this to him. I squeeze his hand to reassure him.

  I’m afraid to use my voice but I try anyway, “Jack, I love you…” It still doesn’t sound like me.

  Jack looks over his shoulder and asks, “Can someone get her some water?”

  There’s movement over his shoulder. I avert my eyes and spot my brother. He has a huge grin on his face. His arm is around a small, black-haired girl I’ve never seen. But the look on his face as he leans over to hear her whisper something, tells me he is happy.

  I look back to Jack and just stare at his face taking everything in. His wonderful almond eyes, narrow forehead, strong cheeks and jaw and that dark brown hair that always hangs in his eyes. I think about my hand and focus on my arm, trying to lift it. To my surprise it moves, stiffly, but it moves. Jack notices and grabs that hand bringing it close to his face kissing my knuckles. I unclench my fingers from his and lift it the few inches to brush his hair out of his eye and he laughs.

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  I ask curiously, “What happened?”

  He frowns, “You don’t remember?”

  Amber comes into the room and sets the cup down before coming around to the other side of the bunk, “Welcome back.”

  I smile just barely. She pushes her arm behind my back and grabs my arm. Jack does the same on the other side of me. Without warning they both lift me up to more of a sitting position. It feels awkward. At this moment it occurs to me that I wasn’t asleep for just a few hours. Before I can ask, Amber is helping me drink the water. I manage the whole thing still wanting more. When she leaves for more and my lips feel better, I look at Jack and ask, “How long?”

  His eyebrows go up and back to a frown, “You’ve been asleep for four days.”

  That’s a while but what was wrong with me. I do remember some. I was in Roman’s little ‘dungeon’ and I tried to get free but pinned myself worse. I ‘willed’ my legs. Oh! I don’t remember getting my fin back. I look around to all of them and just now realize we are in air and have legs. Realization hits me. This is all my fault. I knew it.

  I mutter softly, “I’m sorry Jack.”

  He grasps my cheeks in his hands, making me look at him, “What are you sorry for? I am the one that let you go. I should have never agreed to let you go.” His voice takes on an angry tone, “I should have known you wouldn’t be safe without me there. Never again will I trust anyone else. Not with something as precious as you.”

  My smile wavers at his words. I’m feeling so tired all of the sudden. But I have to know one more thing, “How… how did you find me?”

  He smiles, “You called to me in my dream. Like when I was in the caves last year. I knew something was wrong. James was here and he was able to get you back.”

  I look over his shoulder to James and he smiles at me.

  I slide back down with Jack’s help and doze back to sleep. This time I can tell the difference between my dream and being awake. I am so thankful there’s a difference.

  ***

  I wake later to heated breath on my neck and arms wrapped around me. I try to lift my arm so I can rest my hand on his. To my surprise, it works. I rub back and forth across his arm savoring the feel of this. Never again will I leave him behind; that was a dumb move. Wait, I left for a reason. I got it. I got what Jaspen wanted. Slowly I push myself up to a sitting position. Jack wakes and rubs his face before sitting up behind me. He gathers me in his arms and asks, “How are you feeling?”

  I turn to him with urgency, “I need to see Jaspen.”

  “Why?”

  “I know…I know what’s coming. I need…” I try to get up but my legs can’t hold me and I stumble as soon as my feet hit the floor. Jack picks me up effortlessly and sits me back on the bunk.

  “Whoa, wait a minute Ever. You can’t get up yet. Your body was…we don’t know how long you were without any air.”

  I look away. Oۀ look awf course, I never ‘willed’ my fin back. I ran out of air. I almost drowned. I look up at Jack and his concerned face.

  “Okay, I have to see Jaspen.”

  “I will bring him here. You stay and rest.”

  I move back and lean against the wall. He lowers his face inches from mine and tells me with so much emotion,”I don’t know what I would have done…” I don’t let him finish. I kiss him passionately. We both pour every bit of emotion we are feeling into that kiss. As his lips move with mine and every fiber of my being fills with love for this man, I remember why. I smile thinking about us. He pulls back an inch and asks, “What is it?”

  I smile wider and pull back another inch so I can see his eyes, “I found out about us while I was gone.” He looks confused so I put my hand on his cheek and guide his lips back to mine before telling him the rest.

  When we pull away again, “We are promised. Do you know what that is?”

  He shakes his head. I grab his hand and feel the tingle that is reverberating through both of us, “That means we are promised, we are meant to be together forever.”

  As my words sink in, he devours my mouth and I lose myself voluntarily this time to my prince charming and forever.

  Chapter 42

  James

  Alody, Jaspen and I have been at it for most of the night. We are sitting in his map room surrounded by water. He wants to keep the fighting with Roman to the confines of the city. Alody and I both disagree. Our city has suffered more than its share of destruction. I know the area fairly well so I have suggested a few times to keep it out in the fields near the Erebus caves. We have a better chance of surprise out there. Roman won’t expect us to be camped out around the city. This plan of course makes the city vulnerable. Jaspen has been working on getting the shield back up though he isn’t there yet. I’m not sure he’s strong enough. Seamus was old, wise and powerful. Jaspen is the opposite, Impulsive, a lot younger, and I’m not sure if he is powerful enough.

  I can tell Alody is about to fall asleep right here if I don’t get her to bed soon but she is determined to convince him tonight so we can make final preparations tomorrow.

  She sighs, “Jaspen, I know this city is very important to you. Believe me, I know very well. My father used to talk about living in the city. He would make up stories about living there instead of the caves. The picture he painted was so appealing. I could picture it in my mind as he described it. We were a family again. My mom was alive and we could swim through the city without anyone stopping us to ask why we were there. Everyone was treated the same and no one was condemned to live in caves outside of the city.”

  She continues taking a slow breath, “I get it. I want nothing more than to allow my people to stop living in fear and stop lookingހ over their shoulder, waiting for someone to tell them they don’t belong. But the only way that will happen is to fight. B
ut we don’t have to fight here. This city, your city has just endured a battle. If you expose it to another, there might not be anything left standing.”

  I can tell he heard everything she just said, I’m just not sure he’s going to listen. For some odd reason he won’t budge.

  He shakes his head and gets up, “I do understand Alody and I admire your passion. As of now, it stands; we will fight in the city. I am not concerned about the damage. We can always rebuild.”

  As he finishes, Jack walks in looking suddenly angry. I instantly stand and ask, “Is Ever alright?”

  He looks over to me momentarily but then looks back to Jaspen, “Did I just hear you correctly? You want to fight in the city? Hasn’t it endured enough? Those that are sick and still healing won’t be able to fend for themselves.”

  Jaspen shakes his head, “My mind is made up. By the way how is Ever?”

  Jack closes his mouth into a grimace. His hands are clenched at his sides. I’m afraid I might have to break something up here. I can see him calm himself down though. He mutters under his breath, “She wants to see you.”

  Jaspen perks up, “Ah yes, I knew that girl would come through.” And he disappears.

  Jack looks over at me with a questioning look. I stand and hold out my arms, Alody takes one and Jack takes the other. I focus on Ever’s room and the water shifts. We appear just as Jaspen is sitting on the edge of the bunk staring at a sleeping Ever.