A Second Chance

by Shayne Parkinson

  Beth was not in the kitchen when Frank and the boys went in for an unusually quiet morning tea. When they had had their tea and biscuits, and Maisie had slipped away to take a cup through to Beth, Frank sent the boys off ahead of him and paused in the doorway. ‘I know what you’re going to say,’ he said before Lizzie had a chance to speak. ‘And you’ll be wasting your breath. I’m not letting him marry her, and that’s that.’

  Lizzie opened her mouth, closed it again, then contented herself with, ‘We’ll see’. Frank went out without waiting to hear if she had anything to add.

  For the rest of the day he had no private conversation with Lizzie. He did not see Beth until dinner time, when she sat pale and silent, toying with her food, but he was sure that Lizzie had spent much of the day talking to her.

  Only when he and Lizzie were alone in the darkness of their room did she raise the subject again, keeping her voice low so that they could not be heard through the wall. ‘Frank, we need to talk about this.’

  ‘She’s not marrying him.’

  ‘Frank��’

  ‘No, my mind’s made up. He might have thought he could get her by doing that to her, but he’s wrong. He’s lucky I’m not getting the law on him.’

  ‘Eh? What for?’

  ‘For raping her, of course!’ Frank said fiercely.

  ‘Don’t talk rot. From what she’s told me, she was as keen on it as he was.’

  There were things Lizzie could say that Frank would not have permitted from anyone else in the world. This was one of them. That did not mean he wanted to believe it. ‘I don’t know how you can talk like that about your own daughter.’

  ‘And I don’t know how you can talk such nonsense. Of course he didn’t rape her! If he’d tried forcing her, she’d have told me straight away. And she certainly wouldn’t have wanted to keep going back there.’

  Much as he would have liked to dispute it, Frank had to admit the sense in Lizzie’s argument. ‘Well… if she did go along with it, that’s only because she didn’t know what she was doing.’

  ‘And what makes you think he did?’

  ‘Because he’s older than her! He’s a grown man, and she’s just a little girl.’

  ‘He’s only eighteen, Frank. And I don’t seem to remember you knowing all that much about it when you were a good few years older than he is. No one fooled anyone, and no one forced anyone. They want to get married, and the best we can do is let them.’

  ‘No.’

  He felt Lizzie roll onto her side, facing him. ‘Frank, I’m not saying this is how I’d have wanted things to turn out, any more than you would. Especially with Beth being so young—I’d’ve rather had her wait till she was eighteen to get married. But it’s not so bad. Beth’s got all her funny little ways, wanting to look after birds and kittens and all that, and happier out on the farm with you than inside helping me. She’s said herself enough times that she’d never want to go and live in town like Maudie did. There’s not all that many men would suit a girl like her. But Dave’s almost as funny as she is. He’s just right for her.’

  ‘No, he’s not. He’s not right at all.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Isn’t it flaming obvious? He’s Charlie’s son. My daughter’s not going to marry Charlie Stewart’s son.’

  ‘Frank! Are you blaming the boy for who his father was?’

  ‘It’s nothing to do with blaming. I’m just trying to look after my daughter.’

  ‘Of course you are, but have a bit of sense. What are we going to do when the baby arrives? What do you think that’ll be like for Beth? Sixteen—no, she’ll be seventeen by then—with a baby and no husband. That’s not much of a life, is it? Is that what you want for her?’

  The baby was an uncomfortable fact Frank would rather have ignored. ‘We’ll have to make the best of it. We’ll… I don’t know, we’ll probably tell people it’s ours. No one’d think twice about you having another one. As long as Dave keeps his mouth shut, no one outside the family’ll find out.’

  ‘And how are you going to make him do that? Hit him?’

  ‘If I have to.’

  ‘Humph! You know perfectly well he let you thump him today. If he’d raised a hand to you, you’d’ve been flat on your back before you knew what had hit you.’ Only the fact that this was undeniably true stopped Frank from arguing the point.

  ‘And what about Beth?’ Lizzie went on. ‘Do you think she’d go along with pretending it’s not her baby? Because I don’t. You can stop her from marrying Dave, but you can’t stop her wanting to see him. What happens when the baby’s born, and she wants to take it over to see its father? Will you tell her she can’t?’

  Frank tried to keep the distaste he felt for such a task out of his voice. ‘I’ll just have to. She’s too young to know her own mind. That’s why I have to decide these things myself.’

  ‘Well, you’re going to have to watch her every minute. Because I’m not going to tell her she can’t take her own baby to see its father.’

  ‘Shut up about it!’ Frank said, a good deal more sharply than he had meant to. ‘I’ll do whatever I have to, if it means keeping Beth safe.’

  Lizzie somehow contrived a silence that was as eloquent as if she had spoken. Frank rolled over and pretended to go to sleep.

  He was on the point of genuinely falling asleep when Lizzie spoke again, dragging him back into consciousness. ‘So you’d shut her up in the house?’ She sounded annoyingly alert.

  ‘Eh?’ Frank said groggily.

  ‘Beth. Is that what you’d do to keep her away from Dave? Keep her shut up in the house?’

  ‘It won’t come to that.’

  ‘I don’t see why it wouldn’t. She’s going to want to see him, and you say she’s not allowed to. So you’ll make her ask your permission every time she wants to leave the farm? And you’ll say no if you don’t like where she’s going? You’ll treat her like a child, even when she’s got a baby of her own?’ Frank was still fumbling for a response when Lizzie went on. ‘That’s just what Charlie used to do to Amy. I never thought that was right, myself. I didn’t think you did, either.’

  ‘That’s different.’

  ‘Is it?’

  There was another long silence; again Frank was on the point of sleep. ‘Well, we’ll leave it for now,’ Lizzie said.

  ‘We’ll leave it for good.’ Frank lay awake for a long time, waiting for Lizzie to say aloud what he knew she was thinking.

  *

  For much of the following day, Frank saw only glimpses of Beth. She sat with the family for meals, able to disappear in the noise and bustle of ten people at the dinner table, but at other times of the day, if Frank came into a room she would slip quietly out of it. After dinner, she sat in the parlour only long enough after Rosie and Kate had been sent to bed for her to be sure the little girls were asleep. As Maisie, who Frank was sure had been told what was going on, went off to bed with her, and Lizzie seemed not to have much to say during the evening, the parlour was unusually dull.

  The little he saw of Beth was enough to show him how unhappy she was. His inability to do anything to help her did not improve his mood.

  ‘Now, about Beth and Dave,’ Lizzie began as soon as she had put out the lamp and joined him in bed.

  ‘There’s nothing more to say about it—and there’s no use going on with the same stuff.’

  ‘Yes, there is. I have to keep on about it, because you won’t see what’s staring you in the face. You know Beth’s miserable, don’t you?’

  ‘I’m not blind, Lizzie.’

  ‘Well, the only way you’re going to see her happy again is if you let her marry Dave.’

  ‘No. We’ll just have to do our best for her here.’

  Lizzie’s hair tickled his face as she shook her head. ‘It can’t be done, Frank. We can’t make her happy, not with a baby on the way. The only one who can do that is Dave.’

  ‘He could make her pretty miserable, too. He could give her the sort of lif
e his father gave Amy.’

  ‘No, he couldn’t—because he’s not his father. Dave hasn’t got it in him to be cruel.’

  Frank made a noise of disgust. ‘I don’t see why not. He’s Charlie Stewart’s son.’

  ‘He’s Amy’s son. There’s much more of her than Charlie in him.’

  ‘I don’t know about that.’

  ‘Well, I do.’

  Frank made no answer beyond another disbelieving snort.

  Lizzie had a knack of waiting just long enough to catch him on the edge of sleep. ‘I don’t know why you’re so set against it,’ she said. ‘You’ve always been fond of Dave.’

  ‘That was before he did this to Beth. I see what he’s like now. He’s as bad as that Jimmy, taking advantage of a girl and getting her in this state.’

  ‘Of course he’s not! Jimmy had his fun then ran off. Dave wants to marry Beth. He wants to do right by her. You’re the only one stopping him.’

  Her accusation stung all the more for Frank’s awareness of the truth behind it. ‘He can’t do right by her,’ he said, uncomfortably aware of the shallowness of his argument. ‘That dump of a place, and his mongrel cows. He’s no business thinking of getting married at all, let alone to one of my daughters.’

  There was a long pause, as if Lizzie could hardly believe what she had heard. ‘And do you think you were such a wonderful catch when we first got married? What about when you got in that muddle over Ben’s money? No, I don’t want to drag up old things,’ she went on, too quickly for Frank to protest. ‘But it seems pretty mean to say Dave’s got no right to marry Beth just because he hasn’t got enough money. Frank, you came jolly close to losing the farm back then. But I never for a moment thought I shouldn’t have married you because money was tight. I just knuckled down and made ends meet, and did my best to help you through it. Just having you and the kids, that was enough for me. And now you think Dave’s not good enough for one of our girls? I never thought you’d turn into a snob.’

  ‘It’s not the same thing at all,’ Frank said, scrabbling desperately at the moral high ground as he felt it slipping away from him. ‘This place was much better than his dump.’

  ‘Is it Dave’s fault you had a better father than he did?’

  She had no business being so irritatingly right. ‘Well… he should have had a go at smartening it up before he thought about getting married. He should have waited a few years.’

  He heard Lizzie sigh. ‘Frank, I might even agree with you if it wasn’t for the baby. He’s too young—they both are. But there’s no sense thinking like that, not now.’

  ‘And there’s no sense going on about this, either. Now, can I get some sleep?’

  *

  Sleep was fast becoming an elusive memory. Lizzie contented herself with reproachful looks during the daytime, but she renewed her assault the next night.

  ‘Beth’s making herself ill over this, you know,’ she began. ‘She’s hardly eaten a thing these last couple of days. I made her have some dinner, but she sicked it up later.’

  ‘Well, that’s just morning sickness, isn’t it? You used to get a bit of that.’

  ‘No, it isn’t. I think I know more about that than you do. No, it’s just from being so miserable. Maisie told me Beth’s been crying half the night—crying till she’s sick. I’m starting to wonder…’

  She trailed off; the uneasiness in her voice gave Frank a jolt. ‘You really think she’s crook, Lizzie?’

  ‘Yes, I do. I just about wonder if she might lose the baby.’

  ‘That wouldn’t be such a bad thing.’ Frank said it under his breath, but Lizzie heard him.

  ‘Frank! What an awful thing to say about your own grandchild!’

  ‘Charlie Stewart’s grandchild,’ Frank muttered.

  ‘Yes, Charlie’s grandchild. And my grandchild. And Amy’s—the only one she’s ever likely to have, if you get your way.’

  Frank grunted. ‘I don’t know about that. He’ll get hold of some other girl.’

  ‘No, he won’t. There’s only Beth for him now—I’m quite sure of that.’

  ‘How do you know?’

  ‘Because I can see he’s like you, of course. You’d have been just the same.’

  Outrage left Frank speechless for several moments. ‘What do you mean by that?’ he said at last.

  ‘If things had turned out for us like they have for Beth and Dave, you wouldn’t have gone off with some other girl even if Pa had said we couldn’t get married.’

  ‘That’s just talking rot. I wouldn’t have carried on like he has.’

  ‘Are you going to try and tell me you wouldn’t have done just the same if I’d let you?’

  ‘Of course I wouldn’t!’

  Even in the dark, and without saying a word, Lizzie managed to fill the air between them with scepticism.

  ‘Give it up, Lizzie. I’m not changing my mind.’

  Lizzie was silent, but Frank knew that would not last. She was simply waiting long enough to be sure of waking him up when she next spoke.

  *

  Every night was the same.

  ‘Lizzie, how long are you going to keep this up?’ Frank groaned.

  ‘As long at it takes you to see sense.’

  ‘Till I agree with you, you mean. Not this time, Lizzie.’

  They seemed to be covering the same ground over and over, and he repeated the same answers over and over: No. I want what’s best for her. He’s not having her. Not Charlie Stewart’s son. The words came without any conscious thought, till he almost felt as if he were talking in his sleep. He wondered how Lizzie could keep it up, since her nights were as broken as his.

  That particular mystery was solved one afternoon, when he found her curled up in bed with Benjy in her arms, the two of them fast asleep. Even faced with such evidence that Lizzie was not playing fair, he could not bring himself to disturb her.

  Every night he fell asleep to the sound of Lizzie’s voice, and woke to the same sound. There was a respite in the daytime, but with the knowledge that it would start again that evening. And all the while as Lizzie repeated her arguments, he would see in his mind’s eye the shadowy figure of Beth, who if she was given the chance would slip out of any room he entered.

  He missed her. Beth was a quiet girl, especially compared to Lizzie and Maudie, but she had always been the most affectionate of his children. She was the one whose face would light up whenever she saw him; the one he would find curled up in his lap and have no memory of how she had come to be there. He had felt her absence while she had been spending so much time at David’s, but even with all the tasks she had had at both houses she had often managed to join him in the late afternoon. She would slip her hand into his as he walked around the herd, giving her opinion on the new calves and giving him the sweetness of her company. That had not happened since her confession and his outburst.

  He only wanted her to be happy. He wanted the best for her. The trouble was, it was becoming increasingly difficult to decide just what that might mean.

  *

  ‘Here’s the mail, Miss Sarah,’ said Nellie. She placed a silver tray with a small pile of envelopes beside Sarah’s plate.

  ‘Thank you, Nellie.’ Sarah flipped through the envelopes, and removed two. ‘These are for you, Amy,’ she said, handing them across the table.

  ‘One from Lizzie, and this one’s from Dave,’ Amy said. ‘I had one just the other day, it’s nice to get another one so soon.’

  She picked up the envelope that bore David’s writing and slit it with Sarah’s letter opener. The letter was so short that it took only a few moments to read, and left her frowning in thought.

  ‘Dave wants me to come home.’

  ‘Well, he’ll just have to wait,’ said Sarah. ‘We agreed you’d stay four months, and that won’t be up for weeks yet.’

  ‘He sounds worried about something. I think I might have to go back.’

  ‘What’s he so worried about?’

  ‘He doe
sn’t say.’ Amy studied the letter as if it might have some hidden meaning to be teased out of its few lines. ‘But I can tell there’s something.’

  ‘Oh, nonsense! If he won’t even take the trouble to write a sensible letter, he needn’t think I’m going to let you rush home to him. What does the letter actually say?’

  Amy scanned the single sheet. ‘He says, “Please can you come home, Ma. We need you to help sort everything out. Aunt Lizzie says to tell you to come as soon as you can.” ’

  ‘That’s not exactly helpful. It’s probably nothing at all, Amy. Perhaps Beth made him a pudding he didn’t like, and that’s put his nose out of joint. He wants you to fuss over him.’

  ‘No,’ Amy said, shaking her head. ‘Dave wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t important.’ She braced herself for the argument she knew was looming. ‘I’ll have to go home.’

  ‘No! You’re not going to be at his beck and call. I won’t allow it.’

  ‘Davie needs me, Sarah. I have to go.’

  ‘I need you.’

  Amy gave a startled laugh. ‘No, you don’t! You don’t need anyone.’ Seeing Sarah’s hurt expression, Amy reached across the corner of the table to take her hand. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. But you’re so strong, and you’re so sure about things. You never have to ask anyone what you should do, and you never seem to be frightened that you’ll do the wrong thing.’

  ‘That doesn’t mean I don’t need you,’ Sarah said, a hint of reproach in her expression.

  ‘I think it does, Sarah,’ Amy said gently. She squeezed Sarah’s hand. ‘I’m so very grateful that you want me to be with you. These last few months have been like a dream for me. And I do want to come up here and stay with you again. But just now I have to go back to the farm. I have to see Davie.’

  Sarah continued to look obstinate. ‘I won’t allow it till he gives a proper account of himself. I’m not buying your ticket before then.’ She cast a triumphant look at Amy.