by Jen Andrews
Smartass. I looked at the price. “Oh look, it doesn’t cost as much as an Audi. Even better.”
Two can play at this game, Andy.
He chuckled. “Can I buy you this ring then, bossy?”
It really was gorgeous—a slim platinum band with diamonds all around it.
He nudged me in the side as a big, cheesy grin spread over his face. “Come on . . . just say yes.”
Evil man.
I smiled because I knew I was going to let him buy it. I took off the ring and placed it back in the box.
It cost several thousand dollars less than the one he originally picked. He handed it to the salesperson and she set it aside and put the other rings back in the display case.
“Now it’s your turn.” I asked the salesperson to show us a wide, platinum band with a simple design around it. She pulled out that ring along with several others, and Andy began slipping the rings on his finger.
He chose the ring I liked.
“You know,” I said, “just because it’s the one I liked, doesn’t mean it’s the ring you have to get.”
He smiled at me, his eyes lighting up. “But it’s the one I want and the fact that you like it too . . .”
He handed the ring back to the salesperson along with his credit card.
“Can we go home now?” I asked as we stepped out onto the sidewalk. “I’m tired of spending your money.”
The only things I had paid for since I arrived in New Zealand were the baby clothes and my wedding dress. I had a feeling if he had been with me when I found my dress, he would’ve paid for it too.
He pulled me in close to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
“No. And it’s our money now. All of it.”
Once we were in the car, he looked over at me. “I’m hungry. What sounds good to eat?”
I thought about what I wanted for all of two seconds. “I want a burger and fries . . . with bacon.”
I started laughing after he gave me a quizzical look.
“Did you just have your first craving?” A pleased smile took over his face.
“Actually, I think I did.” I laughed, because he was exactly right. I hadn’t had any strange, or normal cravings, for that matter.
He bent over the console of the car like he was going to kiss me, but instead he kissed my belly. “Good choice, baby girl.”
We ate at a hole-in-the-wall burger place. After a delicious barbecue bacon cheeseburger and “chips” as Andy corrected me when I referred to them as fries, I was beyond stuffed. I would not be eating again until the next day. Oh the chips. Fuck American fries, they would never compare to New Zealand’s chips.
After lunch, Andy insisted on doing a little more shopping, and we ended up going home with several bags full of All Blacks clothing for my nephews Jake and Alex and even some cute little outfits for our baby girl and my niece Mya. Later that evening, I made my man sit downstairs while I went upstairs to hang my dress in his closet so it wouldn’t wrinkle.
I noticed there was room in his closet for some of my clothes so I dragged one of my suitcases onto the bed and began unpacking my clothes.
A while later there was a light knock on the door.
“Can I come in yet?” Andy asked through the door.
“It’s your room, come on in.”
He came through the door with a questioning look on his face when he saw what I was doing.
“I thought I’d unpack if it’s alright with you.”
He grinned, and went to his dresser where he pulled clothes out of drawers and crammed them into different drawers to make room for me. He transferred clothes from my suitcase into the drawers he’d emptied out.
As I turned to hang another dress in the closet, I heard him chuckle. When I looked back, his grin had turned suggestively mischievous. Swinging from his index finger was my new, red lacy underwear.
“How about that dance you promised me the other night?”
I could feel my face flush. Yes, I had told him I’d dance for him, hadn’t I?
“You can’t back out now, Beautiful,” he teased.
“Fine,” I said. “Get my iPod out of my purse and plug it in while I get ready for you.”
I grabbed the fedora he bought in Cabo from the closet. He eyed it curiously as I gathered some lingerie from the drawer.
After I changed in the bathroom, I stuck my head around the door.
“You know, I’m a little fatter than the last time I did this, right?”
He shook his head and grinned. “You’re pregnant with my child, Zoey. There is nothing sexier to me than that. Now, get your fine ass out here and dance for me, woman!”
“One lap dance coming right up, you Neanderthal!”
I noticed he’d retrieved a chair from the kitchen. My Andy, always prepared. Even if it was for a lap dance, he was ready.
When we were in Sacramento, I had come home a few times to find a chair in my bedroom with some sexy lingerie he’d bought for me draped over it. My man liked his lap dances, and I was always happy to oblige him. To say we were a very sexual couple would have been an understatement, and the very reason I was pregnant.
His favorite striptease had been when I danced to “Criminal” by Fiona Apple. That day, I had found some very racy black lingerie that barely covered any skin. I had no idea that dental floss came in black, but if he wanted me to wear it for him, I would. I held in a giggle at the comparison.
“Okay, Sexy. You know the drill. Strip . . . completely, and sit on the chair with your eyes closed.”
He stripped, sat on the chair, and closed his eyes in record time. I slipped on the black heels from my suitcase, dropped his fedora on my head and fluffed up my wavy hair, then cued up the song I wanted on my iPod. As Joe Cocker’s “You Can Leave Your Hat On” played, I stood in front of him.
“You can open your eyes now.”
When he opened them, his jaw dropped as his eyes swept over my black lacy bra and thong, my flirty garter skirt, and thigh highs with delicate trim.
“You like?” He nodded and closed his mouth. “Good, and this time . . . you can touch me all you want.”
And like so many times before, I danced for him. For the first time, I was dancing for him as my fiancé, and in his home country of New Zealand. He kissed and touched all over my body as I moved around him. By the time the song was over, my little dance was long forgotten, and I was straddling his lap as we devoured each other.
Not bothering to take my clothes off, he pulled my panties aside and I slowly sank down onto him. He stood, locked my legs around his hips, and carried me over to the bed, where he carefully laid me down and slowly, and gently, made love to me.
Later, he stripped off my clothes and we fell asleep, his arm wrapped around me, hand on my belly and his breath on my neck.
A few nights before our wedding, I had a horrible dream. I had no idea what triggered it, but I was back in Sacramento on the day Andy left me, reading every single word he had written in the letter he’d left on my bed. Then I was running across the courtyard and finding his apartment empty. I was wondering why he’d left me when I hadn’t done anything wrong. I woke up hurt and angry. Exactly like I had been that day back in August. It was only a dream, but it felt so real.
Andy slept peacefully beside me, which only triggered more turmoil inside of me. All the emotions were back, full force. I still hadn’t talked to him about how much his leaving had hurt me. I wanted to get away from him for a while so I could calm down and I needed to be alone with Hannah. I decided to take my twenty minutes of “me time,” go down to the beach, and cry it out. I glanced at the bedside clock only to find it was four thirty in the morning. Slipping quietly from bed, I pulled on some clothes, found my iPod, and snuck downstairs.
At the door, I pulled on a hoody, grabbed a thick beach blanket and lantern, and headed to the beach. I didn’t wander far from the house, and I left the back porch light on so I could find my way back easily. I found a spot on t
he cool sand at the end of the long path and sat, wrapping the blanket around me. I put the lantern aside and left it turned off, because light from the moon and the porch light clearly let me see my surroundings.
I scrolled to my playlist which I jokingly, yet appropriately titled “songs to cry to” and hit play. It had been a few days since I had taken my twenty minutes and I was ready for a good cry. The sweet crooning of Amos Lee singing the song “Colors” did not bring on the tears that it usually did. In fact, it made my anger worse.
The song talked about life, and all the colors metaphorically fading because the one you loved was gone. Everything but Hannah was gray. I felt the true meaning of the lyrics, because Andy had left me, but my twenty minutes was up, and I still hadn’t cried.
I yanked out my earbuds and shoved my iPod into my pocket. I wasn’t ready to go back inside, so I wrapped the enormous blanket tighter around myself and hoped the sound of the ocean would soothe me. I rested my hands on my baby girl, and stared off in to the blackness of the water.
The door slammed on the back of the house, startling the hell out of me. I turned to see Andy running across the deck with a flashlight in his hand. He was yelling my name, and he was in a panic.
I was too far away for him to hear me, so I stood and lifted the now lit lantern in the air to get his attention.
He ran down the path to me and skidded to a stop in the sand. “Zoey, what the hell are you doing down here in the middle of the night?” He moved in closer to me and tried to put his arms around me. I was angry and didn’t want him to touch me, so I stepped back.
“You left me, Andy,” I whispered and finally the tears came.
He moved closer, gripped the blanket, and pulled me toward him. I pushed him away as hard as I could.
He was shocked and hurt by my physical reaction. “Zoey, what did I do?”
“You fucking left me! How could you do that to me?”
The guilt in his eyes told me he knew exactly what I was talking about.
“Zoey, please . . . I was stupid, and mad, and scared.”
“You broke my heart when you left, Andy. No, you shattered my heart in to pieces.”
Gathering the blanket around me again, I lowered myself to the sand. He sat down next to me and put his arm around me. I was too distraught to push him away again.
I sat, sobbing, letting the wave of tears spill down my face and neck. After several minutes, I laid down, my back to him. I was still too upset to look at him. However, at least I was crying.
“I had to go see Dr. Jensen again. I couldn’t stand sleeping at my apartment by myself. The only thing that kept me from falling apart was Hannah. She was my anchor, Andy. To you . . . and me.”
He laid down behind me. “Zoey, I’m so sorry for what I did. What can I do to fix this? Can you ever truly forgive me?”
He wasn’t getting it. I had forgiven him already, but I needed him to know how badly he had hurt me. I rolled over to face him and opened the blanket up so he could snuggle up to me.
A wave of relief washed over his face as he pulled me close and wiped the tears off my face.
He needed to understand what I was trying to say. “You don’t need to do anything. It’s been fixed, and you’ve been forgiven. I just relived that entire day in a dream, and I needed my twenty minutes, so I came out here.”
“What do you mean twenty minutes?”
“Every day since I found out I was pregnant, I’ve given myself twenty minutes to sit and think, and to cry if I need to. I couldn’t let myself get depressed again, Andy. I could not let myself slip back in to my old ways. I’ve worked too hard—”
He kissed my forehead. “Yes you have, Zoey. You amaze me every single day with your courage and strength. But I need you to tell me everything. I need to know how badly I hurt you so I can make it right,” he said softly. “Even though you say it’s fine now, it’s obviously not.”
We laid on the beach, and I told him about finding the letter. I told him how I couldn’t even go inside his apartment because I knew he wouldn’t be there. I told him about seeing all of his personal belongings gone. I told him about me pretty much going on autopilot to do what I needed so he could come back to me.
“Zoey, did you know you were pregnant before I left?”
“No, not for sure, but I suspected it. I was going to tell you the day you came home. I couldn’t tell you over the phone when you were over two hours away from me. I wanted to talk to you face to face about it.”
He pulled me closer and I felt his body shaking with emotion. “God, Zoey. I am so sorry for everything I put you through because I was being a selfish prick and only thinking about myself. I wish you would’ve told me, though. I never would’ve left if I had known.”
Of course, I knew that. “I knew you needed time, but I didn’t expect you to leave me because of what happened with Emma. Once you left, I realized what I needed to do. I had to let you go to New Zealand, my love, so I could try to find out what happened since Michelle refused to see you.”
He let out a long, shaky breath. “Zoey, I don’t deserve you. After everything I’ve done to hurt you. After what you’ve done for me to make my life right. I swear to you, I was coming home.”
“You were?”
He nodded. “Yes. When you sent me the photo book for my birthday, it hurt to see what I’d left behind. I knew then, I’d never be able to live without you. I never told you, but when I read the note you left next to our picture, I made appointments with doctors and they ran every test under the sun to make sure there was nothing wrong with me. I’d just gotten the last of the test results two days before you arrived. Tamati took me to play rugby, and fishing one last time, because I was going back to Sacramento. You just beat me to the punch and got here first.”
A shrill laugh erupted from my throat and I brought my face up to his for a kiss. “I’m sorry that you had to go through all of those tests for no reason, since I already had the answers you needed.”
“I’d do every one of them again, Zoey. But, I’m honestly so happy that you came here and got to see New Zealand with me. And that you’re marrying me here.”
A grin spread across my face when I thought of all the things that had happened to get me back to him. “You’re stuck with me now, Sexy. Your ring is on my finger, and your baby is in my belly. I’m everything you ever dreamed of, right?”
We laughed, and it felt good.
He scooted closer to me. “If I have to spend every day of the rest of my life showing you how sorry I am for what I did, I will do it, Zoey. You are my love . . . you are my life. Please, tell me I’m yours too.”
I feathered kisses all over his beautiful face before planting one on his lips. “You are the reason I am here. Even if we couldn’t have babies together, I would still want you. No matter what, you are my life.”
I chuckled at what my next words were going to be. “And because of the flu, failed birth control, and an amazing time on the hood of your car, we now have Hannah. Life can’t get any better.”
His deep, rumbling laugh resonated the air between us. “It was also because of you and that short skirt of yours.”
I pulled his face to mine for a deep kiss. “Do you think I can get a replay of that incredibly hot night? Right here on the beach? Well, minus the Camaro, of course.”
I could feel the heat from his gaze on me as his hands slipped down to rid me of my jeans and panties.
“I think that can be arranged . . .” He kissed me one last time before his head dipped below the blanket and he slowly made his way down my body.
The day of our wedding, I woke up from a very peaceful sleep and found an envelope with my name on Andy’s pillow.
The last note I’d had from him told me he was leaving me. I knew this note wasn’t the same as that last one, but my heart clutched in my chest just the same. I picked up the thick envelope and took a deep breath before I lifted the flap. Inside, I found a note and a rather large wad of money. W
hat the heck?
I unfolded the paper and read his note.
I folded up the letter and put it back in the envelope, then stashed the cash in my wallet. I had no clue how much money it was since it wasn’t American currency, but the stack was thick and seemed like a crapload of money. I took a quick shower, threw on a dress and sweater with some ballet flats, and headed downstairs to meet Iria. She and Tamati had arrived home the night before.
I was so excited I practically skipped into the living room. “You ready to go get pampered, Iria?” I bounced on the balls of my feet in anticipation.
“Oh yes, Zoey, I am really looking forward to this.” She was grinning from ear to ear. “A.J. is very generous.” She held an envelope exactly like the one he’d left for me except with her name in Andy’s easily identifiable handwriting.
“He sure likes spending his money these last few days,” I commented.
“Well, he has enough of it,” she said nonchalantly as she picked up her purse and keys. “Let’s go get spoiled.”
I wasn’t quite sure what to make of her remark about his money. I mean, I knew he had some money from his parents’ life insurance, but I hoped he wasn’t going to start blowing it all on silly things.
He wasn’t normally like that, but money did strange things to people sometimes. Even though he said everything he had, was now mine too, to me, it was still his money. He’d had it before me, I was doing fine on my own, and he would get his job back at the shop when we went home to Sacramento.
But that was a topic for another day, and a conversation I’d definitely have with him. At this moment, it was time to get ready for my wedding.
When we checked in at the spa, the attendant whisked us out onto a small private patio where a breakfast was set up for us. Of course, Andy would know I’d be hungry. Jeez, we were really being spoiled.
By the time we left the spa, we had both been fed, massaged, waxed, painted, and our hair and makeup done.
My hair was styled in a gorgeous waterfall braid with a loose side-bun, just behind my ear. Wavy tendrils fell around my face and to top it off, they fastened an enormous white and yellow flower—a Mount Cook Lily—at the back of the side-bun. It was a native New Zealand flower chosen by the hairdresser to complement my Maori jewelry. I knew Andy would love the fact that I was embracing New Zealand.