Beautiful With You

by Jen Andrews

She’d had to grow a child inside her knowing what the outcome would be. Thank God we did not have to deal with that. My miscarriage was hard enough to cope with, but to carry a child full-term, only to have her die would be unbearable.

  “Zoey, did you see her move?”

  No, I missed seeing it because I was thinking about Michelle and Emma.

  “See if she’ll do it again,” I whispered to him, avoiding his question.

  He kissed the spot again.

  “Hannah?” He rubbed his palm over my stomach as if he were trying to get her attention. “It’s Daddy, give your mum a little hello kick.”

  Sure enough, my stomach moved. It wasn’t much of a movement, but there was definitely something going on in there. We watched a while longer, but nothing else happened.

  “She must’ve decided to go back to sleep,” I said quietly as if trying not to wake her up.

  After Andy shut off the light, I held my gorgeous man tightly, running my fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. Finally, my eyes became heavy and I drifted off myself.

  “Let me help you, Beautiful.” I took Zoey’s hands in mine and helped her lower herself to the blanket I’d laid out on the grass at the cemetery the next day.

  “Such a gentleman,” she teased with a grin as she unzipped her jacket to make a little more room for her ever-growing belly. I couldn’t believe how much our baby had grown since Zoey arrived in Auckland.

  We’d been coming here nearly every day to visit my family. Having Zoey here to talk to was a huge help in getting the closure I hadn’t realized I needed until she pointed it out to me. I thought I was okay until the news of Emma surfaced, but that sent me into a tailspin I couldn’t get out of no matter how hard I tried. At one time, I had been Zoey’s reason to fight for the happiness she deserved, and now she was my reason . . . for everything.

  “Andy, are you alright?” Zoey asked.

  She brought me out of my memories. God, if she only knew how right my life was now that she was here and we knew what really happened with Emma.

  I dropped down on the blanket behind her and slipped my arms beneath hers. My hands came to rest on the roundness of my child growing inside my wife. My wife . . . my child. I finally had my own little family.

  “Andy?”

  I still hadn’t spoken after getting lost in my contented thoughts. “Sorry, love. I was just thinking about you and our little girl and how insanely happy you’ve made me.” I nibbled the side of her neck just below her ear, causing her to let out a quiet hum of pleasure.

  “Speaking of you and our little girl . . .” My eyes met the black granite where my parents and sister were laid to rest. “Mum, Dad, Hannah-banana, we have another announcement to make.”

  Zoey chuckled and squeezed my hands after I said my sister’s nickname.

  “My beautiful wife had a great idea . . . we’ve decided to name our daughter after you, Hannah.”

  Zoey pulled my arms tighter around her and nuzzled her head into the crook of my neck.

  “Do you think she’d be happy with our decision, Andy?” she asked quietly, sounding unsure of her idea.

  “Yes, she would be thrilled. She’s probably up there twirling around and laughing right now.” My throat tightened from the memories of my sister spinning round and round every time she wore one of her frilly dresses. She was such a girly girl. All pretty dresses, bows in her hair and fingernail polish in every color of the rainbow. God, I missed her. Zoey couldn’t have honored her any better by choosing to name our baby girl after her.

  “Good,” she said. “How are you doing? Like, how are you really doing? Is coming here and going to the accident site helping you?”

  After pressing a kiss to the side of her head, I said, “It’s helped so much—more than I thought it would, truthfully. In fact, I think I’m done going out to the site, but I’d still like to come here until we go home.”

  “Anything you want, you got it,” she said confidently.

  With a quick peck to her lips, I hopped up and jogged back to the car to get the chilly bin that I’d packed our lunch in. When I returned, we spread out on the blanket, had lunch, and talked. I almost felt free of the past that shackled me to this place. I loved and missed my family, but they were gone and I couldn’t get them back. I had Zoey, our families in California, and a perfect baby girl on the way.

  Sleeping until dawn the next morning, I woke to the sun beginning to shine through the windows. I knew it was time to move on. I shook Zoey lightly until she woke.

  “Zoey,” I whispered as she rolled over to face me. “I’m ready to go home.”

  She smiled sleepily. “As long as you’re sure.”

  “One hundred percent.” I kissed her bare shoulder and let her go back to sleep, then rolled out of bed and started planning our future.

  The day had arrived for me to finally tell her what I’d put off for far too long.

  By the time I dragged myself out of bed and the shower, Andy had already arranged our return to Sacramento and was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Once we were finished, he pushed his plate away and looked at me hesitantly.

  “Zoey, I need to talk to you about something.” He held his hand out to me and led me into the living room.

  All week, I’d had the feeling that there was something on his mind, which he couldn’t come right out and say. He would open his mouth to speak and then he would stop, as if he didn’t know how to tell me what he needed to say.

  It appeared that whatever he’d wanted to tell me was ready to come out. I was a bit worried, but I sat down on the couch next to him. “Spill it. I know you’ve got something on your mind. So let’s get it over with.”

  He opened his mouth then quickly closed it again after he let out a frustrated breath.

  “Andy, you’re freaking me out. What is it? Are you in some kind of trouble? Wanted by the law? What?”

  He actually started laughing at me.

  Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that horrible.

  “No, it’s nothing bad. My lawyer is coming over to go over papers for the house and . . . other paperwork,” he said nervously.

  He has a lawyer? “You have a lawyer?”

  He nodded once. “He was actually my parents’ lawyer, and he handled all their finances and their estate after they died.”

  Finances and estate? I was utterly confused. “What does this have to do with me?”

  He took a deep breath. “We’re married now, and everything I own is now yours too. If anything should ever happen to me, it will all go to you and Hannah.”

  Right then, I didn’t want to hear anything about him dying. I frowned. “I see.”

  He scooted closer to me on the couch. “Don’t be angry with me, please.”

  I shrank back onto the pillow. “I’m not angry. I just don’t want to think about you dying, that’s all.”

  “I know, Beautiful,” he said in a comforting tone. “I don’t want to think about it either. Let’s get this taken care of so it’s out of the way and we won’t have to think about it again.”

  There was a knock on the door. Andy answered it and brought in a short, round man whom he introduced as Maxwell Davies. As we shook hands, I noticed the surprise on his face when Andy introduced me as his wife.

  “Mrs. Tate, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said.

  “Please, call me Zoey.”

  His eyebrows rose when I spoke. “You’re American?”

  “Yes, I am.” I wondered if that was going to be an issue.

  He set his briefcase on the table as he sat down on the couch. He opened it and pulled out folders full of papers.

  “Mr. Tate,” he said, “I’ve brought all the paperwork you’ve requested. Do you have a copy of your pre-nuptial agreement for my files?”

  What the hell?

  Andy shook his head. “We don’t have one, Mr. Davies. Everything I own, I want to go to Zoey and any children we have. There is nobody left for it to go to.”

  What w
as happening here? A pre-nup? For what? What am I missing?

  “Andy, what’s going on?”

  He took a breath and looked me directly in the eyes. “I have some money.” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably and ran a hand through his hair. “I inherited from my parents.”

  Things were slowly clicking, but I was still in shock. “Do you mean money other than the insurance money I already know about?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  So this other money must be the reason his house was paid off. He already told me he never touched the insurance money, and he was living off the money he made from working. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, unsure if I wanted the answer.

  “It didn’t seem relevant at the time, I guess. But now it is. It’s in a bank here in Auckland.”

  Why did I suddenly feel like an outsider?

  The two men in front of me, one of them being my new husband, had all this information that maybe I should have been aware of prior to marrying him.

  “So what do you need from me?” I asked. “I’m so confused, Andy . . .”

  Unable to sit still any longer, I stood and paced slowly back and forth. “How much money are we talking about?”

  Did I really want to know the answer?

  I lived comfortably with what I earned at the store and the shop, and the additional income from renting the apartment next door. With Andy’s paycheck from the shop, we would be totally fine financially.

  I only wanted him. I didn’t need anything else he had. Thoughts went through my head as I looked around his house. The place was a mini mansion on the beach, in a wealthy neighborhood of Auckland. On the freaking beach!

  He never hesitated putting his credit card down to pay for something. Ever. My rings, our honeymoon. His trip to Cabo. He spent money on whatever he wanted and didn’t even bat an eye. I was becoming overwhelmed by my thoughts.

  “Zoey, please sit down,” he said. “Try to stay calm, okay?”

  He was right. I needed to stay calm for Hannah’s sake, so I sat.

  “Someone better tell me what’s going on,” I said breathlessly.

  “My grandparents owned a winery, Zoey. A very old, well known winery here in En Zed. When they passed away, my dad and Hamish inherited it and all of their life savings. They didn’t want to own a winery, so they sold it and split the money from the sale, and the inheritance.”

  He paused and watched me for a minute. “My mum and dad invested some, bought this house and sent Hannah and I to private schools. My dad and Hamish still ran the winery even after they sold it. Then my parents died . . . and you know the rest.”

  Living in Northern California, I was well aware there was big money in a successful winery business.

  Mr. Davies watched our exchange curiously. “Mrs. Tate, you didn’t know about the money prior to today, am I correct?”

  I looked at him like he had two heads, was he not paying attention?

  “That’s correct,” I replied, with more irritation in my tone than I intended. “The only money I knew about was the money from the insurance, and I only found out about it by accident.”

  I turned to face Andy. He looked guilty, but guilty of what?

  “I have two questions, Andy. One, why didn’t you tell me? And two, how much money?”

  It didn’t really matter to me how much money it was, but it was enough that he hadn’t wanted to tell me about it beforehand. I’d love him if he were a beggar on the street, or a mechanic at my dad’s shop who had to live from paycheck to paycheck. I fell in love with the simple mechanic at my dad’s shop.

  But I needed to know what I was dealing with. He winced as he scrubbed his fingers hard across his jaw and took a deep breath.

  “It’s about ten mill—”

  Holy fucking hell! I couldn’t even hang around for him to finish his sentence. I stood and jogged out the door, not stopping until I hit the sand.

  Ten million dollars! Are you fucking kidding me? How could he not tell me something so . . . huge?

  Was he insane? I felt like I was in another world. Who was this guy? Why didn’t he tell me?

  His hand wrapped gently around my wrist. “Zoey, please come back inside and talk to me.”

  I was furious and embarrassed of all things. My mind ran through all the hints he’d dropped over the time I’d known him and I just hadn’t cared enough to ask him about it. The embarrassment came from words I’d spoken directly to him about rich people being assholes, while the entire time, he had millions of dollars sitting in a New Zealand bank. Frustrated, I plopped down onto the sand as my mind continued to go into overload.

  “You know I don’t care about your money, right?” I looked over at him.

  He eased down beside me. “I know,” he said. “I was going to talk to you about it on the drive home from Sonoma, but we ran in to Corey and everything went to shit.”

  I linked my arm with his and leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me before we were married?”

  “Would it have made a difference, Zoey?”

  “Yes, it would have.”

  He shoved his bare feet under the loose sand, picked up a handful of it, and began sifting it through his fingers. “Why would it matter?” he asked hesitantly. “Would you have still married me?”

  I smirked. “Yes, I would’ve still married you, because I love you. It would be ridiculous to not marry you because you have too much money.” I was finally able to look him in the eyes. “I would have agreed to a pre-nup.”

  He let out an irritated sigh. “It’s not like I asked for the money. There was nobody else it could go to since I’m the only one left besides Hamish, and he already had his half. My inheritance has been sitting here in En Zed for years. I never tell anyone about it because I don’t want people treating me differently or using me. The only reason I even transferred the insurance money to my account in the States was for emergencies, or if I wanted to buy a house or something. And then when you found out about it, and you didn’t treat me differently . . .”

  He paused, and then laughed at the memory. “You never even talked about it again, Zoey. I should have just told you about the rest of it then because I trusted you.”

  “I’m sorry, Andy. I know you didn’t ask for it, and that’s not what my issue is. I also know how it feels to have something, then have someone try to steal everything right out from under you.”

  He shook his head. “I know you wouldn’t do that. I want to share the money with you, to use it to take care of you and Hannah in case something ever happens to me.”

  He absentmindedly brushed my hair over my shoulder as he spoke. “Even if you turn around and divorce me now, I’ll still take care of you because you’re the mother of my child, and because no matter what, I will always love both of you.”

  I raised my head off his shoulder and looked up at him. “I’m not going to divorce you, silly, but you still should’ve told me before we were married. You could have at least given me the choice to decide what I wanted to do about it.”

  “I’m sorry. I was just so happy about the baby and that you were here. It was bad judgment on my part and I’m sorry.”

  I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew the money was inherited, but I was still upset he hadn’t told me about it.

  But he’s telling you about it now, Zoey. Fuck.

  “Did Michelle know about the money?”

  Holy shit, I had no idea where that question even came from. It just came out of my big fat mouth.

  He shook his head. “No. I didn’t tell her because of the way her family treated me, right from the beginning. I wanted them to like me for who I was, not for what I had. If they knew, they would have tried to change me, and the way I am, or they would have changed their minds and approved of me because I had money. But none of that even matters anymore. I am married to you, not her.”

  “I want papers drawn up. I know you want to take care of us, but ten million dollars? Can you put it in a tr
ust fund for Hannah instead? I don’t want anything like that from you.”

  He shook his head again. “No. It’s not what I want to do. We’re married now, and I want to share everything I have, equally.”

  “What about what I want?” I withdrew from him. “You seem to be making choices for me about a few things here, Andy. You leave Sacramento without even talking to me and now you’re trying to force me in to this.” I stood and brushed the sand off my pants. “I need some time alone to think.”

  Turning back toward the house, I left him sitting alone on the sandy beach. As soon as I walked inside, I slipped my bare feet into a pair of shoes, threw his All Blacks hoody over my head, grabbed my purse, and headed out the door. I was halfway up the driveway when he caught up with me.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I don’t know.” I continued walking. “Away from here. Please leave me alone . . . just for a while.”

  All I wanted was time to think, by myself. Time to work things over in my head without his presence to influence me.

  He gently grabbed my hand. “Please, Zoey. Don’t go . . . please don’t leave me . . .”

  I stopped and turned to him. The alarm in his eyes was apparent.

  “Let me go, Andy. I’m not leaving you. I just need some time to think. Please, just give me my twenty minutes.”

  Instantly, he released my hand.

  I didn’t miss the hurt and rejection in his eyes, but I turned around and started back up the driveway anyway because I needed to walk . . . and think. And calm the fuck down.

  I had no idea where I was going, but after walking several blocks, I looked behind me and found that I was being followed. I knew it was Andy from the way he walked, but he was hanging back to give me space.

  Continuing to walk, I pulled out my phone and sent him a text.

  How am I supposed to be alone to think with you following me?

  I entered a small park and sat on one of the benches that faced the sidewalk. My phone pinged with a text from him.

  I don’t want you walking around by yourself. Just pretend I’m not here.