Where There's a Will ....There's Murder

by Julie Ramson

  “Jerk.” I pulled away from the car. So much for Mr. Nice Guy.

  Once back in my apartment, he was true to his word. Killer, that traitor, had danced around Digs and followed him cheerfully out the door for his walk. That was when I noticed the duffel bag in my living room. A duffle bag? What? Overbearing jerk! And when exactly had he brought that in? His hands were empty when we arrived. Had he broken into my apartment too?

  My message light was blinking. Hoping it was Emily, I pushed the button. “Maggie? Mary Grace. What is going on? Sean is looking all over for you and what is this about a bodyguard? An attack? Call me immediately!”

  This was not good. My mother was off on one of her cruises somewhere and whenever she was gone, Mary Grace goes into Substitute Mother Mode. She is three years older than I am and has two kids. She thinks that delivering infants has somehow bestowed her with more of a right to run my life than she had before. And she thought she had plenty of right before.

  Don’t get me wrong. Mary Grace is great. She is shorter than I am, but then most people are. She is also easier to deal with and tends to think logically rather than emotionally. She also gives advice. Granted, it is usually good advice but it still really ticks me off. I hate taking advice and when it is good advice I feel guilty when I don’t take it. Then I get mad all over again.

  On the plus side, a major plus, she is always there for me. She was funny and warm and has been my best friend since the day I was born. I love her dearly. But another problem is that she is very smart and can almost always see right through me. I can't bluff her. And I needed to today. I’d call her back. Later. I can’t handle her and Sean - not to mention Digs all at once. My head hurt.

  I heard someone at the door and went over and opened it.

  “Maggie! You didn’t even look to see who was out here!” Digs shook his head in disgust. Killer was doing the happy dance at my feet. He liked me. Digs didn’t.

  “I looked,” I started but Digs just lowered his head and looked at me. He was right. I hadn’t looked.

  The phone rang. Hoping it was Emily, I picked up.

  “Maggie?” It was Mary Grace.

  “Hi Mary Grace,” I said in my best cheerful voice. Digs stared at me and started to grin. “What’s up? How are you and the kids?” I was trying to divert the questions I knew were coming.

  “Fine but that’s not what I hear about you.” She said in her best Mother Mode tone. “What exactly has been going on with you? I hear you were attacked yesterday and almost killed! Why didn’t you call me?” Her voice had started to rise.

  “Whoa! Wait! I mean, some guy hit me but that’s all, no big deal. I have a bump on my head and a few bruises. Don’t worry. You know how hard my head is!” Damn. I did not want Mary Grace to worry about me.

  “I want you here for dinner tonight. Sean said you were beaten up and he’s afraid someone tried to kill you!” Mary Grace can really put on the drama when she has to.

  “Mary Grace, I’m fine. Really. No one tried to kill me, for God's sake! And I can’t come for dinner, I have things I want to do tonight.” Digs narrowed his eyes at this and scowled. I didn’t care. I could not let Mary Grace see me like this. She would totally freak out. She lived in a nice house, in a nice suburb, with her nice husband and two cute kids. She did not have people hit her on the head and make her unconscious. Or give her purple and blue and green bruises.

  “Mag, either you come here or so help me, Michael, the kids and I are bringing dinner to your apartment.....take your pick.” Oh, lord. “Okay, okay, I will be there about 6.” Digs tapped me on the shoulder and raised both eyebrows. I sighed. “And I may bring someone else along.”

  “Great! Is it the hottie bodyguard that Sean said is watching you? God knows someone needs to watch you.....be here at 6.” She hung up without giving me a chance to come up with a better excuse. I looked at Digs.

  “Don’t get any ideas. This dinner is not going to be what you think it is. It will be loud, disorganized and full of kids. You won’t like it. You don’t really need to go, you know. I am just going to drive there and back. No problem. No danger.” I glared at him through slitted eyes.

  “Nice try, honey. But I’m there. Where does she live?” That damn grin was back. Under any other circumstances I would think he was a hottie too. But these weren’t normal circumstances. I hadn’t had one word to say about him being in my apartment, coming to dinner or anything else. Maybe this wasn’t really his fault and maybe it was even really nice of him but hell would freeze over before I admitted that to him or anyone else – or that I might be a little bit glad he was here.

  “Fine. You can ride in the back seat with Killer. Mary Grace lives in Oak Park, about a half hour away.” I sounded churlish and I knew it but didn’t care. I got up and stomped off to the bathroom to see how much of my face and hair I could repair.

  Yikes! My hair was curling in all directions around my face. I put the curling iron on. My face - dear god. It was now not only purple, black and blue around my eyes, it was also turning a bilious lime green in places. I rolled my eyes and glared at my reflection in the mirror. Mary Grace was going to have a fit. I brought out the industrial strength concealer but it did a minimal job at best. I didn’t have much more success with my hair. The curling iron helped - marginally. All in all, I looked like a bad Halloween mask.

  I stomped back out of the bathroom and glared at Digs. He was trying not to smile which annoyed me no end. “Don’t say it. Not one word,” I snarled at him. “I don’t want to go and I hope you are really, really sorry that you did!” He just smirked at me, patted me on the head - what was it with those damn head pats? - and walked into the bathroom. I pulled out the copy of Emily’s information sheet. I called Sean’s cell phone and left her address and phone number on his voice mail.

  When Digs came out of the bathroom, I was sitting at the kitchen table with the laptop open. I had clean jeans, shamrock socks and a Loyola sweatshirt on. We had some time before we had to leave and I was going to start a computer search on the dead man, Lily Hastings and Emily as well. Digs sat down across the table from me, lips twitching with suppressed laughter. I refused to look at him. “Yeah, what?” My tone was surly.

  “You could grow on me, Toots. You’re even starting to look cute when you’re mad and considering that your face looks like a train wreck, that has to mean something.” I knew he was baiting me. I should ignore it but I just couldn’t.

  “Oh yeah? Well, don’t get your hopes up, Buster. You are definitely not my type. And you certainly don’t look cute to me!” I glanced up then put my head down and started typing.

  “Ah, you’ll hurt my feelings. I was your type earlier today. With Jason.” He smirked. “Besides, what is your type, exactly?” I looked up. He had dimples. So? I was immune.

  “My type is the serious, intelligent type. Brain, not brawn. Muscle bound testosterone junkies have never impressed me.” I was at my haughty best.

  “Ah. I see. That probably explains why you have had so many calls from men in the last two days. All those serious, brilliant men lined up at your door.”

  I didn’t even deign that with a response.

  “So tell me,” he went on. “Ever been married? Engaged? In bed with a man?”

  “Oh, please. Don’t start that macho crap with me. I’m experienced. Plenty experienced. I have probably had more experience with the opposite sex than you have ever even dreamed of.” Yikes. That was over the top. Really over the top. I had only been with a few guys for some groping during high school and college. Being a good Irish Catholic girl, I had been Saving Myself for Marriage - or at least Someone Promising. After I got engaged to Norman the Boring I decided to see what all the fuss was about. Frankly, I was not impressed with sex very much. Norman’s idea of foreplay was, “Are you finished in the bathroom yet?” Forget the songs and poems. I could think of better ways to spend 10 or 15 minutes.

  “I see.” Digs was pressing his lips together, trying not to lau
gh. “I don’t know, though. I’ve had some pretty hot dreams.”

  “Yeah, well keep them to yourself. I’ve found that men who brag are just Neanderthals over compensating for a complete lack of finesse.” What was I doing? I was just getting in deeper and deeper. I couldn’t seem to stop my mouth from blathering on. Who was this person talking? Did I know her? Did I even want to?

  “Lack of finesse, huh? Hmmm. Maybe you could teach this Neanderthal some.” He eyed me speculatively. He got up slowly, all 10 feet of him. I narrowed my eyes and looked at him warily. “Don’t even think it, Pal.”

  He smiled and grabbed me by the arms, pulling me up. “Oh, honey, I’m not thinking at all.” Then he kissed me. It started long and soft, then longer and harder and deeper. I couldn’t breathe. He had to stop kissing me. Then I realized he had stopped - I just hadn’t started breathing again. I backed up against the table. Damn place was too small.

  He stood there, eyes dancing, arms folded.

  “Well, that was nice, but certainly no big deal,” I said but my voice sound high pitched to me. “Probably time for us to leave.” I started to edge around him.

  “Don’t think this lesson is over, sweetheart.” His hand cupped my waist. “I really think you could teach me a lot, being as experienced as you are. And I’m a fast learner.”

  Yeah, right. This whole thing was getting completely out of control. I swallowed hard and almost ran for my coat. No way was this guy going to spend the night in my apartment. No way.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  We took Killer with us. He happily bounded into the backseat of my car. I gave him a sour look. Where had he been when I needed him? He was supposed to be a watchdog. I feed him and scratch his belly and he guards me. That’s the deal and he was not holding up his end of it. He didn’t watch and he sure as hell didn’t guard. He cavorted with the enemy every chance he got.

  We didn’t talk much on the way to Mary Grace’s. I smiled grimly when I thought of dinner ahead. Kevin was a 6 year old tornado of energy. He didn’t walk - he ran. Usually making airplane sounds, punctuated by truck or train sounds, he zoomed around the room, a dark haired, brown eyed motor in motion. And Katie. No little lady, our 4 year old Katie. She had long, dark braids and the tenacity of a small bull terrier when she wanted something. With her big green eyes, it was a rarity indeed when she did not get what she wanted. She also loved to “visit” and usually talked non-stop throughout dinner. Kevin also loved to talk - when he wasn’t being an airplane. It was a little like having dinner in the middle of O’Hare Airport runways.

  Ah, yes. I thought with great satisfaction of the dinner ahead for Digs. Served him right. I adored the kids and their non-stop antics. He wouldn't. Plus, this dinner gave me several hours to figure out a way to have him not stay in my apartment later. Plenty of time to come up with a good plan.

  We pulled up to Mike and Mary Grace’s house. It was a comfortable two story brick house in Oak Park with a big yard. In the summer the yard was lovely, filled with grass and flower beds. Mary Grace could make flowers grow on rocks. In the winter, however, it was hard and covered with remnants of snow and muck. This probably meant the kids had been inside all day, just saving up lots of energy for dinner. Good. Digs had no idea what he was in for.

  I opened the door to warmth and wonderful smells of meatloaf. No one makes meatloaf like my sister. I’ve tried but it’s never as good as hers. We stepped in and Killer raced ahead of us, practically knocking Kevin and Katie to the ground as he said hello. They were thrilled. When I brought Killer over, I was strictly second fiddle. Mary Grace came out of the kitchen, flushed from the heat. She looked great. She has short, dark hair and really lovely skin. Porcelain and all that. Generally, my skin is okay except that it has absolutely no color at all. Stone white. Not now, of course. Now it was a rainbow of ugly purples and blues mixed with yellow and lime. Right now, Frankenstein was a leg up on me in the skin department.

  Michael followed Mary Grace out of the kitchen. He's dark haired, blue eyed with a great smile. He loves company. He started his usual hug and greeting, then stopped cold. Both of them did. I bit my lip and rolled my eyes. “Trust me, it looks a lot worse than it is.”

  “Oh, I’m sure it does!” Mike was the first to recover. He finished his hug. “It doesn’t look bad at all. Really!” He was trying to make me feel better.

  “Mary Grace, Mike, this is - uh - Hank. Digs. Well, either. At least those are his names this week. I think.” Mike and Mary Grace were staring at me like I had lost my mind and Digs just grinned.

  “Hi, you can call me either. I answer to both,” he said, putting his hand out. “It smells amazing in here and I really appreciate your including me for dinner.” He smiled with those dimples at MG.

  What? Where did this charmer come from? Where was the arrogant, overbearing jerk who had dogged me all day? My mouth hung open.

  It got worse. He leaned over and tagged Katie as she rushed toward me for a hello hug. “You must be Katie - Uncle Sean told me to look for the cutest little girl in Chicago, maybe the world - and that would be our Katie!” He lifted her up and she giggled. “Uncle Sean is right.....Cutie!” She put her arm around his neck and giggled again.

  Great. My own niece. I eyed them together. After Killer’s defection, this was too much.

  Digs carried Katie over to Kevin, who was still on the ground with Killer, making airplane noises. He crouched down, with Katie still clinging to his neck. “Wow, Kev, great airplane but the new planes are even deeper and louder. Like this,” he said, then proceeded to give out an ear splitting airplane sound. Kevin started giggling too.

  Both Mike and Mary Grace were smiling at him. I turned to MG. “Let me help you in the kitchen.” Before I kill someone. We walked in and she looked me over.

  “Oh, Mag, Sean was right. You look like someone beat the hell out of you. Are you okay?” She was really concerned, I could tell.

  “I really am fine, Mary Grace. It looks awful and it’s sore but not really that bad. And it was scary but I’m over it. Really, it’s fine.”

  “Okay,” she said doubtfully. “At least you’ll have a good meal. By the way, I heard from Mom today. She gets home in about two weeks. I didn’t tell her about you or your .... accident.”

  “Thanks. I see no reason to worry her and my eggplant purple and lime green eyes should have healed by then. I hope.” I patted her arm. “Let’s eat. I am starving!” I was. All my adrenalin rushes had subsided and I was ready to eat the table if we didn’t get food on it soon.

  “Sean told me he sent a buddy to keep an eye on you, but wow! I didn’t know he meant a hunk like - Hank? Or Digs?” She smirked and lifted her eyebrows at me.

  “Pul-lees. He might be a hunk but he is also arrogant and overbearing. I don’t need a bodyguard and believe me, Sean and I had words about it. And there are certainly going to be more to come!”

  “Don’t be too hasty, Mag. Sounds like Mrs. Hastings’ death really has Sean stumped and he was really worried about you today. Let Digs hang around for at least a few days, okay? Please?”

  I sighed. “I’ll work something out,” I hedged. I drew the line at outright lying to my sister. Lie to my brother? In a heart beat. But not to MG. I changed the subject. “How’s Gram? I haven’t had a chance to stop over for a few days.”

  “She’s.....Gram. You know. But I took her dinner the last few nights and she’s fine. She’s gone on a Bingo binge and her lady friends have kept her busy. I’ll be glad when Mom gets back, though. Gram’s a challenge.”

  I just rolled my eyes. My grandmother and I had come to a truce. Sort of. She basically disapproved of everything about me and I ignored it. Problem: I felt guilty that I hadn’t stopped in to see how she was but I got reports from Mary Grace and even Sean. Rationalization: She would probably rather see the local bill collector at the door than me.

  We took the meatloaf, green beans, potatoes and salad into the dining room. Mary Grace said the mealtime prayer and we start
ed eating amid the airplanes landing and Katie’s nonstop chatter. She had Pooey, her well-loved and well-worn teddy bear at the table with her. Pooey went everywhere with Katie so he was sitting on the table between us.

  “Aunt Maggie, your face looks hurt,” she said softly reaching up to touch my cheek. “Did you fall?”

  I put an arm around her and said, “Yeah, I fell down and it hurts a little but not too bad.” She examined my face carefully. She lifted Pooey and put him into my lap. “You can take Pooey for a while. He makes things better.”

  My heart squeezed. My lovely little Katie. “Thanks, Sweetie. You’re right. My face feels much better now!” I gave her a hug. Giving me Pooey was a very big deal to Katie. Kevin stopped playing airplane and frowned. He looked at my face then got up and ran to his room, bringing back one of his hundreds of dinosaurs. He came over and put it in front of me. “Aunt Maggie, you need to take T Rex, too. He’ll protect you and not let you fall again.”

  I reached up and hugged this darling nephew of mine. “Oh, Kev, thanks! You’re right too! Pooey made me feel better but a T Rex is just what I need to protect me!” Mary Grace and Mike grinned at each other and the kids. Digs just stuck his tongue in his cheek and grinned at me.

  We ate with lots of chatter about Mom’s cruise, Mike’s job as a Vice Detective for the Chicago Police Department and the latest gossip with the family cousins and other assorted relatives. Digs was busy showing Kevin the newest and hottest hand shakes and kept him giggling throughout the meal. When she finished, Katie went over and tried to climb into Digs’ lap. He pulled her up on one knee and kept up the chatter with Kevin.

  I could not believe my eyes. Usually my niece and nephew made me the center of their attention and now - look! Even Mary Grace was beaming at him. She usually had better taste in men. And Mike! Traitor. He was a cop, for God's sake! Digs even kept a side conversation going with him on the police department and the local gossip there. Mike liked him too. I could tell. This was really too much.