Lunar Rampage

by Samantha Cross

  “No, Grandma. Besides, anorexics don’t eat.”

  “Oh. Then you’re one of them bulimics, aren’t you?”

  “My appetite isn’t the problem, it’s my attention span.”

  “If you watched more television, you wouldn’t have to worry about where to put your attention. Speaking of which, what movie would you like to watch tonight, dear?”

  “Something preferably from this century.”

  “How about that male stripper movie? I hear they show the butt cheeks.”

  “We don’t own it.”

  “We could go rent it.”

  “No!” I shouted, and Grandma’s eyes reached the size of small plates. I covered my sudden outburst with a laugh and said, “It’s really late. Why don’t we watch something you own?” Going out in the dark right now was about the last thing I wanted to do.

  “We could watch another Jeff Goldblum film.”

  I nodded. “Wonderful.”

  We took it to the living room and my grandma went through her movie collection and found an old VHS and slipped it into an even older looking VCR. I was surprised the thing still worked, but hey, it was retro and I could get down with that.

  When Grandma wasn’t looking, I locked up all the doors and peeked out every window just to double check for any activity. I sat down on the couch as the tape rewound and found myself peeking beyond the corner of the curtains to our window, expecting at any moment to see a pair of yellow eyes peering through and crashing the glass to come inside and eat me. I felt a chill go up and down my body, realizing that simple thought had just lost me one extra hour of sleep.

  Knock, knock.

  I screamed the most ridiculous high pitched child-like scream that you could imagine, that even Grandma gave me the stink face from across the room.

  “Don’t do that again, dear.”

  “Sorry, Grandma,” I blushed. I about buried myself in the collar of my shirt and slowly treaded toward the door. I knew no werewolf was knocking and it had to be a person, but I peeked out the window first, anyway. It was Deputy Wilson. I unlatched the several locks I had done and popped open the door by just enough for him to see my face. I was convinced if the door were open at night something would happen.

  “Hi, Cora. It’s not too late, is it?”

  “No. We were just going to watch a movie. What’s going on?”

  He looked past me to see where my grandma was. She was still on the floor in front of the TV, putting away all her movies. “Uh, have you told your grandmother?”

  “No. I don’t want to scare her.”

  “Good. How about you? How are you doing?”

  I sighed. “Honestly, not good at all. I’m pretty freaked out. I don’t even want to leave the house.”

  “If it’ll help make you feel safer, we have patrol cars on every street making their rounds. They’re keeping an eye on things and will continue to do so every night.”

  “It’s something.”

  He removed his hat and placed it at his stomach. “I am truly sorry that you got involved in this. If I could go back and do it again, I never would have even told you what I thought was going on.”

  “You had no idea it was going to end up like this. I don’t blame you.”

  “Thank you,” he said very mournfully. I didn’t know what was going on, but from the tone of his voice and the tired look in his eyes, it looked like Deputy Wilson was in the midst of his own hell. He had just lost a comrade and killed a man. I can’t even imagine.

  “Deputy, you have to do something about that date auction this weekend. It’s not safe for everyone to be out like that.”

  “We’ve discussed it and decided we’re going to assign several officers there.”

  “Why not cancel it?”

  “It may cause a panic and that’s the last thing we want right now. It’s bad enough we don’t know quite what we’re dealing with, we don’t need to mix in mass hysteria as well.”

  “Maybe you’re right.”

  “I should probably get back to work.”

  “You’re working right now?”

  “I have to make sure the town is safe. I just wanted to swing by and see how you were doing. See if you were all right.”

  “You came out here just to check on me?”

  “Yes.”

  I smiled a closed-lipped smile. “Thank you.” Just as he turned around to leave, I stopped him and said, “I never thanked you for saving my life. I know that couldn’t have been an easy thing to do—to pull the trigger like that.”

  I could see he was regretful, but he said, “I was just doing my job. Goodnight, Cora.”

  “Goodnight, Jason.”

  And that night was the first night in days that I had a full sleep.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Through some kind of miracle or the work of God, I managed to convince Priscilla to go dress shopping with me. It took a lot of pleading, bugging, and three bags of Skittles before she decided there were worse ways to spend her day off than with me. After all, she did need a dress and it didn’t hurt having a second opinion.

  “How about this one?” Priscilla asked and then did a twirl inside the dressing room, all the while checking herself out in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror.

  “They all look the same.”

  “No, they don’t.”

  “They’re all black lace up to the neck. You could at least try another red.”

  “Like your dresses are any better.”

  “I, at least, tried on a green one.”

  “Lime green at that,” she scoffed. “You looked like Kermit the Frog. Black or red are about the only real colors for a dress.”

  “I liked the dark blue one I tried on,” I replied with a shrug.

  “It was all right, but because it was a dark shade. Do you think Molly will wear blue as well? She’ll probably stick with the shade of tears she cries every time a guy turns her down.”

  I tried not to chuckle. “You know I went over to her house to give her the form she had me fill out and she didn’t even open the door? She acted like I had some kind of disease and she couldn’t taint her house with my presence.”

  “She probably does think you have a disease.”

  “I don’t think I like her.”

  Priscilla took her eyes off the mirror and spun toward me. “Finally, you see the light. Welcome to the club, kid.”

  “I generally try not to join hate clubs, but I’m okay with this one. She acts real snotty about the fact that I hang out with Max.”

  “Oh, please tell me you’ve boned him already.”

  I raised one eyebrow. “No.”

  “Hottest guy in town and you use him for conversation. Who raised you?”

  While she checked herself out in the mirror for the twentieth time, I sneaked the book from the library out of my purse and would read a paragraph at a time. I was doing my best to get as much knowledge in my brain as I could. I was addicted to knowing everything about werewolves.

  “Figures there’s one hot guy in town and you claim him.”

  I was getting caught up in my book on the gory details of the werewolf transformation, but trying to keep the conversation going. “What about Deputy Wilson? He’s not bad looking.”

  “He’s a cop with marital woes. Too much baggage.”

  “Now, how did you know about that?”

  “I know everything. I thought you figured that out by now.”

  Oh, my God, the book had a section on a blue moon. I think I failed to breathe when the concept of a blue moon needing its own section sunk in. What was so special that it had an entire page dedicated to it? I was afraid to read it.

  “Would you stop poking your nose in that book? You look like a dweeb.”

  I popped my head up and saw Priscilla staring at me through the reflection of the mirror. I wasn’t thinking she could see me. “I haven’t been looking at it that much.”

  “Yes, you have. You think I haven’t seen you sneaking glances every
time I turn away? There better be nude pictures in there for your attention to be stolen that much.”

  “It’s a photography book,” I lied.

  “I didn’t know they had photography in the 1700’s.” I didn’t think the book looked that bad off, but I guess it had a certain vintage quality to it. The binder was definitely shot to hell. “What is there to possibly learn? Lesson one; aim camera, lesson two; take picture.”

  “Well, gee, if I had known it was that simple, I would have visited Rookridge’s library sooner.”

  “Nothing can be learned from this town. Absolutely nothing.”

  “I don’t know, this old guy at the grocery store taught me how to deep fry a cheese puff.”

  “That’s disgusting,” she groaned. “And totally not possible. It’d dissolve.”

  “He said it was a practicing science.”

  “This town really does blow chunks. There better be some hot guys bidding on me this Saturday or I swear to God, I’m going to punch a baby.”

  “Then go for the red dress.”

  “But my boobs look bigger in the black.”

  “The neck line is lower, which puts them on display is all. Doesn’t mean they look bigger. Besides, aren’t you into subtlety?”

  “No,” she bluntly responded. “If I were into subtlety, I wouldn’t be letting men pay for my company.”

  “God, we really are hookers.”

  “I am way more expensive than a hooker, believe that.”

  “How many hookers have you paid for recently, though?”

  Priscilla did a tiny stomp on the ground and glared at me. “Must you take me seriously at all times?”

  “How am I supposed to know when the Queen of Deadpan is kidding?”

  We heard all this giggling coming from the other side of the wall, most likely the other changing room, which sounded like a bunch of teenage girls cracking jokes and having a party.

  Priscilla rolled her eyes and said, “Have I mentioned how much I hate kids?”

  “No, but it doesn’t surprise me. You probably hate bunnies, too.”

  The laughing got louder.

  Priscilla slammed her hand against the wall and said, “Hey, shut your whore mouths!”

  “Priscilla, damn!” I whisper-yelled. “You want their parents coming in here, accusing us of verbally assaulting their children or something?”

  “They sound like teenagers shopping. I’m sure they’ve done their share of verbally assaulting girls.”

  “I’m sure nice girls need to purchase clothing at some point as well.”

  “Not at stores like these. This is where bitches shop.”

  “You said it, not me,” I replied and lifted the book up above my nose so she couldn’t see me mockingly smirk at her.

  “Oh, Christ, put the book down. I know you’re not the most normal human being in town, but you couldn’t do this one thing and shop like a real person?”

  “After my tenth dress, in which you berated me, I figured I’d be better off keeping my mouth shut. And what do you mean, I’m not normal?”

  “You’re not Manson weird, but you are socks-with-sandals kind of weird.”

  “I’ll have you know, I have only worn socks with my sandals, like, a couple times in my life and I was in elementary school. Everybody did it. You know you did.”

  “I’ve never worn a sandal in my life.”

  “Yeah, well…” I stumbled for some kind of counter. “Your earlobes are big.”

  She tugged on them. “They are not.”

  “Have you decided on a dress, yet?”

  “I’m not sure. I may need to sleep on my decision.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “What?”

  “I thought the whole point of coming here to shop was to get a dress. It’s not like there’s a lot of time left. Don’t you want to get everything all ready and then match up your accessories or doo hangies or whatever?”

  “I never like something when I first see it. It needs a night to let it sink in. This is supposed to be my man-catching dress, and it has to have a vibe to it, all right? You don’t have to worry because you have Max barking up your tree.”

  “He’s not barking up my tree. We’ve hung out, like, twice. Or three times.”

  “Max doesn’t get along with a lot of people, so the fact that he hasn’t killed you already is a good sign he probably wants to boink you.”

  “Boink?” I repeated. “And, yet, you say I’m weird.”

  “My point remains.”

  “We’re not having some illicit affair or anything like that. We just have some common things we talk about.” Like werewolves and how I saw a man eat another man’s face off. You know, typical stuff.

  “Things in common, eh?” she asked with a cocked eye.

  “Don’t be perverse. He’s a decent guy. Way different than I thought he would be when we first met. He was just an animal slaughtering jerk—”

  “And now he’s an animal slaughtering jerk with a great ass,” she finished.

  I shook my head to distract her from my embarrassed smile. “You never quit, do you?”

  “As long as I’ve got ovaries, no.”

  “Then we should probably leave before you get pregnant.”

  “Fine. This place smells like hospital, anyway.”

  Priscilla returned all twenty of her black dresses back to the store clerk and I had her ring up my blue dress at the cash register. It was a simple, but pretty number I purchased, with a rose-like design at the rim of both the top and bottom of the dress, and little flaps for sleeves that hung off the shoulder. There was a lot of chest area, so I was going to need a big, clunky necklace to add some decoration. I was pretty sure I had something perfect for it that I bought on my vacation to Mackinac Island years ago.

  All this laughing erupted from the hallway to the fitting rooms and Priscilla and I exchanged annoyed face as my dress was slipped into a giant bag. It was those dang teenagers again and they were even louder in person.

  That’s why it was a surprise when they came out into the main area. Not only were they not teenagers, but one of them was Molly; the only brunette in a sea of blondes, with dresses slung over their arms and giggling like they had a tickle that wouldn’t go away.

  “Oh, Cora, hey!” Molly yelled as she and three other girls approached. Molly was in one of her good moods, or was trying to impress her friends. Either way didn’t make much of a difference. “What a small world.”

  “So, that was you making all that noise,” I commented.

  The girls all laughed at the same time like they had an inside joke. Always fun being the one person not in on it, standing there with a weird smile on your face like you’re okay with them cackling their heads off while you’re completely clueless. “Guilty as charged. Were we loud?”

  “Just a smidge,” Priscilla intervened.

  Molly’s smile faded when she noticed Priscilla leaning against the cashier’s desk with her cheek resting on her hand, looking like her usual borderline suicidal self. “I didn’t even see you there,” Molly began. “I’m so used to seeing you working behind the register instead of standing on the opposite side that it was like you weren’t even there. Of course, this place can’t even compare to the class that is working as a grocery store clerk. Everything outside of work must be such a disappointment.”

  “Only when I see your disproportionate face.”

  I could see Molly holding her breath in and trying to completely ignore Priscilla as she turned her attention toward me. “Dress shopping, are we?”

  “The fundraiser is coming up, so I figured I might as well get a dress.”

  “Well, that’s wonderful. Can I see it?”

  “They’re bringing it up now, but you can take a peek.”

  Molly did just that, opening the bag and putting her head inside for five seconds and then pulling back out with a very blank expression on her face. I could tell my inability to keep up with the latest fashion trends was utter
ly disappointing.

  She held her breath in again, like she smelled something foul. “Blue? How very neutral of you.”

  “I thought black was more neutral.”

  “No, blue is good. It says approachable and dependable, while also not stuffy. Blue is a good choice, really. Though the skirt does come up a bit short, so you may want to work on getting a little sun on your legs.”

  “Are you saying I’m pale?”

  “I’m saying you could always be tanner. I have a salon I go to for a spray tan every week. I can give you their number, if you’d like.”

  “No, that’s quite all right. I’m not really into the carrot complexion.”

  The girls all laughed, but somehow, it felt like it was at me instead of with me. “I told you she was silly, girls,” Molly spoke to the blondes, and they all grinned and slapped their hands at each other’s shoulders. “You’re not going to look orange if you spend the right amount of money.”

  “Just seems like a weird thing to spend money on.”

  “Because it is,” Priscilla groaned with her arms folded. “But Molly never did have issue with being a vegetable.”

  “Ripe for the picking,” Molly responded with a long smirk that practically looked like a line across her face.

  “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll pass,” I told Molly. I wanted to hop in there before we got into another war of words between Priscilla and Molly.

  “Well, if you ever change your mind… Priscilla, you may want to consider it as well. Might save you a lot of money on all that foundation you’re caking on. Foundation is, after all, meant to smooth out the complexion, not create a new layer of pigmentation.”

  Priscilla seethed.

  “Did you get a dress?” I asked her.

  Molly beamed. “Yes, I did, but it’s a secret until Saturday. Believe me when I say, it’s going to knock your socks off. It’s to die for.”

  “Totally hot,” one of the blondes said. She sounded like she was speaking through her nose, and I had to fight the urge to offer her a tissue.

  Molly must have realized she never introduced me to her friends because she said, “My goodness, where are my manners? Cora, these are my friends; Tiffany, Veronica, and Dana.” Oh, God, they had 80’s popular girl names. Tiffany was a tiny blonde with curly hair and super tan skin, Dana was pretty much a duller, less distinct looking version of her, and Veronica… well, let’s just say I had a hard time seeing anything other than the small children she was storing in her bra. They were so damn big, I could go spelunking between each breast.