She

by J. S. Cooper

  “Don’t you feel better?” He grinned at me, and we waited for the chauffeur to open the door.

  “You did that just to distract me?” I asked with a soft smile, my heart melting as I gazed at him. “You weren’t really planning to finger me in the car?”

  “Whatever you want to think.” He grinned at me and then turned away as the door opened. I watched as Jakob slid from the car and held a hand out to me as I followed, my heart racing fast and my panties slightly wet.

  “You have your mask ready?” he asked me as we stood there and the limo pulled off.

  “Yes,” I said, and placed it over my head. The elastic band rubbed against the back of my ears uncomfortably, and I watched as he slid his peacock-blue mask over his face. The blue matched the hue of his eyes, and his eyes seemed to sparkle as he stared at me. “You’re excited, aren’t you?”

  “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.” He nodded.

  “How can you be excited, Jakob?” I shook my head. “We have no idea what’s going to happen tonight. Rosie and Steve are almost certainly setting us up. We have no idea who they want us to meet, if they even have anyone for us to meet.” I froze as I looked up at him. “What if they don’t? What if they want to kidnap us?”

  “That’s not going to happen.” Jakob’s eyes narrowed. “First, I’m stronger than I look.”

  “But you look strong,” I said, confused.

  “Exactly.” He smiled. “And I’m even stronger than that.”

  “Oh, you’re silly.” I shook my head as I giggled. “I don’t know why I’m laughing. There’s nothing funny about this situation.”

  “Let the nervous energy go, Bianca. Plus you’ll have your BFF Blake here, and I’m sure he can save you if I can’t.”

  “Blake is smart, but I don’t think he’s exactly Mr. Universe.”

  “Oh, not much muscles?” he said casually.

  “None at all.” I laughed.

  “How do you know?” He frowned. “Have you seen him naked?” His tone was surly, and I smiled inwardly. I knew it was mean of me, but I loved seeing a jealous Jakob, even if he irritated me at times. Did he really think Blake was a threat?

  “Only once or twice,” I said innocently, and held back a laugh as Jakob’s lips turned down.

  “When did you see him naked?” he demanded, and I smiled at him gently.

  “When we had our one-night stand.” I adjusted my clutch in my hands and then continued. “Oops, I guess two-night stand. Is that even possible? Can one have a two-night stand?”

  “What?” His voice was loud, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing heartily. My laughter only increased as Jakob did a slow burn.

  “I’m joking, goofy.” I touched his jacket lapel lightly, and I could feel his heart racing. “I haven’t slept with Blake, and I’ve never seen him naked. Stop acting like a jealous boyfriend.”

  “So you haven’t slept with him?”

  “You know that!” I exclaimed. “I told you that when you first met him. You know he’s just my friend.”

  “Hmm,” Jakob responded.

  “What is your problem, Jakob?” I sighed, no longer laughing. “We don’t have time for this right now.”

  “No problem.” He sighed and grabbed my arm. “Let’s go in now. It’s time to get this party started.”

  “My stomach is rumbling,” I said lightly. “I’m so nervous.”

  “I know a way to stop the nerves.”

  “Oh?” I looked over at him, wondering if he had some sort of pill to give me. “What’s that?”

  “Sex.”

  “Jakob!” I hissed at him. “Not that again. I’m not about to fuck you at a masquerade ball. Especially not tonight.”

  “What if I told you that I’ve been dreaming for over a year about pushing you up against a wall, sliding that dress up and entering you swiftly?”

  “Huh?” I said, confused.

  “I know you attended the last Bradley Ball.” He leaned toward me. “And I wanted you badly then as well. In fact, I even had a dream after that night that you and I were—”

  “Okay, I get it.” I blushed and cut him off as another couple passed us. “You never told me that before.”

  “I didn’t think it was important until now.”

  “And it’s important now, why?” I gave him a side glance.

  “Because tonight it might happen.”

  “Jakob!”

  “What?” He laughed. “I’m still a man, and you’re my woman.”

  “Tonight is not the time to be thinking about kinky sex.”

  “I disagree.”

  “You think tonight is the night to be thinking about kinky sex?”

  “No, that’s not what I disagree with. I disagree with your characterization of kinky sex. Sex at a ball isn’t what I classify as kinky.” He paused. “That is unless you want to tie me to something again.”

  “Jakob!”

  “What? Did you bring some handcuffs?” he whispered, and laughed.

  “Focus, Jakob. We’re nearly inside.”

  “Whatever you do, don’t let them separate us. And keep your cell phone on.” Jakob frowned as he glanced at the high slit in my dress. “You look sexy as hell, by the way.” He growled. “Way too sexy.”

  “Shouldn’t that be a good thing?” I asked with a smile as I reapplied my deep red lipstick.

  “Not in this case. Not when you know how horny I am.” He shook his head and grabbed my hand, and we made our way into the main ballroom, where the ball was being held.

  The room was dark and packed when we arrived. I watched some of the couples on the dance floor gliding across the room like swans, sensuous and graceful. The mood seemed light and cheery, and I could hear people laughing while exchanging flirtatious smiles and surreptitious fondlings. A few couples kissed passionately in the corners of the room, and I stared, mesmerized, at one man who was publicly groping his date’s breasts.

  “How are you feeling?” Jakob asked me lightly as he took my hand.

  “Overwhelmed,” I said honestly. “I feel like we’re in an action movie like True Lies. I’m Jamie Lee Curtis, and you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger.”

  “I’ll be back,” Jakob said in a deep Austrian accent, and I laughed.

  “Be serious, Jakob,” I said, and chastised him. Now was not the time for us to be goofing off. “Can you see Blake?” I asked him softly as we both looked around.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “Can you text him and see if he’s here? I don’t know who anyone is right now. It’s so dark in here, and the masks aren’t helping.”

  “I don’t understand masquerade balls,” I said as I tried to make out Rosie and David. “What’s exciting about wearing a disguise?”

  “You tell me.” He shrugged. “You’re the history buff.”

  “I don’t know about masked balls.” I shook my head as we walked around the perimeter of the room.

  “I think masked balls were started by men who liked kinky sex and didn’t want anyone to know,” Jakob said as he pulled me toward him. “It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

  “There’s a man staring at us,” I said softly into his ear as I felt someone staring me down. “Across the room to the right of us. He’s wearing a bright red mask.” I shivered as I looked at him. “He reminds me of the devil.”

  “So maybe my father is alive after all,” Jakob joked, but neither one of us laughed. He looked toward the right, but the man had already disappeared.

  “It might have been Steve or David,” I said softly, but I wasn’t convinced. The man’s stare had been intent, and his body stocky. Much stockier than Steve’s and David’s. “Do you think we were stupid to come here?” I said, suddenly feeling really afraid. What had I been thinking? I felt like a sheep in the lion’s den.

  “What other option did we have?” Jakob said, his voice serious for the first time that evening. “Right now, Steve and Rosie are holding all the cards. But we know some of those cards, and we have
a contingency plan if they try to cheat.”

  “What contingency plan?”

  “We have Blake.”

  “What’s Blake going to do?” I mumbled as I looked around the room. Blake had no strength. If this was a setup, we were dead.

  “Bianca, listen to me. We’re going to be okay. I promise. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” His eyes bored into mine. “I have five men in here with us.”

  “What?” I looked at him in shock. “What five men?”

  “Don’t worry about it, but I’ve got us covered.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Sometimes the less you know, the easier it is.”

  “You can’t keep things from me!”

  “Important things,” Jakob said casually as he looked around. “I won’t keep important things from you, but this wasn’t something you needed to know. The fewer people who know, the better for us.”

  “Fine,” I said as we made our way around the room. “What should we do?”

  “We need to dance.” He grabbed my hand. “And wait. I’m sure Rosie and Steve will make themselves known to us.”

  “And then we meet your dad or whoever.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “If he’s behind all of this, I just don’t know what I’ll do.”

  I just nodded and allowed Jakob to guide me to the dance floor. After a few minutes of us moving silently to the music, I asked him, “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m thinking that dancing with you here is even more magical than I thought it would be,” he whispered in my ear as he tightened his grip on my waist. His thighs pressed against mine as we glided across the room, and I held on to his shoulder, trying to concentrate on my steps. Jakob was a smooth dancer, and I could see that the movements came effortlessly to him. I needed to work a little harder, as I didn’t have natural rhythm.

  “I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” I said eventually, willing myself to relax, but my eyes were on high alert as we danced. I hadn’t seen the man with the red mask again, and I wasn’t sure who anyone else was, as everyone was in costume.

  “I never used to be,” he said as his right hand moved up and down my back. “I suspect that you’re the one who brought it out in me.”

  “Like Jeremiah brought it out in your mom?” I said softly.

  “I guess so.” He nodded, his voice sad. “I just don’t get it. By all accounts, Jeremiah was a horrible man. I mean, what did my mother see in him? Why would she love a man like that?”

  “It’s like you said before, the heart doesn’t choose who to fall in love with.”

  “But still, some of the things my mom has told me don’t add up.” He stopped suddenly, and I stumbled to the side. I gasped as I was about to hit the ground, but he scooped me up in time.

  “Sorry,” he said as he held me to him. “I just remembered something.”

  “I hope it was something good.” I pouted at him. “I nearly fell.”

  “It’s a poem my mom wrote.”

  “And?” I looked up at him. “I love your mom’s poems, but was it important enough to stop in the middle of the dance floor?”

  “Come with me.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the corner of the room, away from any of the groups that were starting to assemble.

  “What’s going on?” I frowned.

  “So this poem—I never thought about it before. It didn’t touch me like some of the others. But I think it might be the most helpful.”

  “Okay? How? Please enlighten me,” I said, frustrated. “What are you talking about, Jakob?”

  “Listen to this,” he said, and he closed his eyes. I stood there waiting for him to continue, but he was silent.

  “Um, what am I listening to?” I asked, annoyed. “The sound of silence? Is that the clue? Was your mom into Simon and Garfunkel?”

  “Bianca.” Jakob laughed. “I’m trying to remember the lines.”

  “Oh, sorry.”

  “The poem has nothing to do with Simon and Garfunkel.”

  “I’m listening,” I said. “And hopefully, not to the sounds of silence,” I joked. Jakob just smiled and cleared his throat.

  “ ‘This man, this man of mine, is not mine. This man, this man of mine, is generous and kind. This man, this man I love, is all I could ever ask for. This man, this charming man, is wise and thoughtful. This man, this best friend of mine, is never going to be mine. This man, this man, this man, this charming man. This man of mine. This man that is not mine. This man was never mine. This is the man that I love.’ ”

  “Wow, sad,” I said as I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and my heart grew heavy. How sad it must have been for Jakob’s mother to have been in love with someone that didn’t love her.

  “Did anything stick out to you?” Jakob asked me, and I thought for a moment.

  “Um, that the man wasn’t hers?”

  “Aside from that, Bianca. Think.”

  “I don’t know,” I snapped. “What stuck out to you?”

  “The word charming. It appears twice,” he said, his tone excited. “It’s as if charming was synonymous with the man she was talking about. The man she was in love with. Remember what the note from the island said?”

  “Beauty and Charm. One survives and one is destroyed.” My face paled. I could feel every beat of my heart pounding through my chest as we stood there. “So what are you saying?”

  “Just think about it for a few seconds. My mom was in love with a charming man. And the note says that he was with a beauty.” He touched my face and rubbed my cheek gently as his eyes surveyed me. “And I can confirm that if you look anything like your mother, she must have been really beautiful.”

  “So you think your mom was having an affair with my dad?”

  “Yes, no, well, I don’t know exactly. I think it’s a possibility.” He reached down and gripped my hands. “What I do think is that my mom wasn’t talking about Jeremiah. He isn’t known by anyone to be charming. The only person at this point who makes sense is your dad. I think that she was in love with him. And that had to be for a reason.” His eyes gazed into mine searchingly, and I knew he was wondering how I felt inside. He was most probably wondering if I was going to have some sort of nervous breakdown. “I just think that maybe both of our parents had secrets we knew nothing about.”

  “And you think this confirms that my mom was having an affair with Jeremiah by default or something?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I don’t really know all the facts, but I think it confirms a lot more than anything to do with affairs.”

  “Oh?”

  “It means that your dad was the man she always loved. Your dad was the one that got away. He was the one, not Jeremiah. It makes sense, if you think about it. The poems describe a man who’s kind, sweet, charming, her friend. That didn’t make sense in relation to Jeremiah, but it would make sense for your father.”

  “Your mom loved my dad?” I frowned. “My dad was the one who broke her heart?” I said guiltily, and looked up at Jakob with a worried expression. Was he going to hate me again? This wasn’t the island, where we’d been strangers—if he blamed me now, my heart would break.

  “I think so.” He nodded. “He’s the one she wishes she could have been with. When I was younger, she told me that outside forces kept her from being with the man that she loved. She blamed it on him wanting to marry someone better than her. I always assumed she meant someone richer because I assumed she was talking about Macy Vanderbilt, but what if she just meant your mom? That would explain her vehemence toward your family. Why she always seemed to hate your mom so much.”

  “She was jealous,” I said, and sighed. “I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

  “It’s not your fault.” He shook his head, his tone light. “And it’s not your dad’s fault either. From all accounts, your mom and dad loved each other more than anything in the world. Maybe they were friends. Maybe my mom wanted what they had. My mom told me when she was older that s
he regretted some of the decisions she’d made.”

  “I wonder which ones?”

  “I wish I knew.” He sighed. “Sometimes I think that our parents didn’t know the sky from the ground.”

  “Yeah. . . .” My voice trailed off. I didn’t know what to say.

  “It’s a good thing we’re different,” he said, grabbing my hand, his finger rubbing the inside of my wrist.

  “We are?”

  “Yeah, we are.” He nodded. “We’re different because I can tell you with all certainty that there is nothing that can stop my love for you and that there is nothing I wouldn’t do to be with you.”

  “You’re just saying that,” I said, but my heart was racing at his words.

  “You’re my favorite person, Bianca.” He clasped my fingers with his. “You’re my favorite person in the world. The only person that has ever made me smile for no reason at all. The only person that has filled my heart with such love that sometimes I don’t even recognize who I am anymore.”

  “You’re going to make me cry.” I bit down on my lower lip. “And this is not the place for me to cry.”

  “No one will see you if you cry,” he said, his voice wavering with emotion. “You’re so strong, Bianca.”

  “I’m not strong.”

  “You are. I didn’t see you cry once on the island.” His voice held awe, and I could feel him staring at me. “You’re so much stronger than you think you are.”

  “I suppose I have to be. I don’t feel strong though,” I said as my eyes got heavy and my throat felt raw. “I don’t feel strong at all. I feel sad and tired and stressed, and I don’t ever know if anything I’m doing is going to be good enough. Will I ever find the answers to my mother’s death? Will I ever find out if all of this was in vain? I just want to know why my mother died! But I feel like I’m no closer to the truth than when I started weeks ago. Yes, I’m finding out things that are shocking and maybe helpful in some way, but where’s the end? What if we never get answers?”

  “We’ll get them.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me toward him. “If I have to spend my entire fortune getting you the answers you’re looking for, I will.”

  “How did I get so lucky?” I leaned forward and kissed him.