Collide (a Collision novella)

by L. B. Dunbar

  When we pull away from one another, I still hold her wrapped in my jacket.

  “Let’s sit,” I say, leading her to the lounger. A thin mattress covers the teak bottom and numerous pillows cover one end. I brought a blanket, anticipating the cold. Ivy scoots to her side, and I cover her legs while I perch on an elbow, stretching mine to cross at the ankles.

  “I wish we could see the stars better,” she says, and I look up to see a smoggy haze over the black backdrop of the sky. We stare upward a few minutes, and then I turn back to look at Ivy.

  “Gorgeous, you remember what I told you about stars colliding?”

  She nods, looking up at me with her hands tucked under her head.

  “You and I collide, babe. I won’t let us collapse, though, Ivy. I plan to honor you and worship you and be by your side through thick and thin.”

  “Gage,” she whispers, still peering up at me wide-eyed.

  “We’re the kind of stars that merge, growing bigger and better together. I won’t disappoint.” I pause a second. “Well, I might disappoint on occasion, but then I expect you to call me on my shit. I want to do right by you. I want to love you, Ivy. You and the baby. But it’s more than that. I want us. A family. I love the band, and we’re a package deal, but I want something a little closer to my heart, something mine. And you’ll be it for me.”

  A tear slips from her eyes, and I reach for it.

  “I want all of you.” I reach under the pillow where I’ve carefully hidden something to aid me in this proposal. Holding up the item, I say, “Can you show me how these work?”

  Ivy giggles as she presses up on her side. “Where did you get these?” She reaches forward for the two childlike rhythm sticks, reminding me of music class in grade school.

  “Lawson gave them to me,” I tease. I asked Lawson to show me his room, and Connie directed us down his wing of the house. “I asked him if I could marry you.”

  Her lids lift, and she stares at me again.

  “All of you,” I whisper as I hold the sticks even though Ivy has grabbed them. Her eyes lower to the end of one. “Marry me, Ivy.”

  The ring rests on the tip. A one-point-five carat square cushion cut diamond.

  We both hold the sticks, and I hold my breath, waiting for her answer. She already said yes earlier in the day, but now I’m not so certain of her answer.

  “Can I say something before I answer?”

  My heart drops, but I nod.

  “I want to be clear that my answer has nothing to do with the baby. I have no doubt you’ll be an amazing father.” She swallows. “I also think you’ll be a great husband. You’re good to me and good for me, and I want to be with you. Not just physically but every way. But do you love me, Gage?” Her voice cracks as she asks, and I want to tell her a million ways that I do, but I’d need the same assurance from her, and I don’t think Ivy’s there yet. And I’m strangely okay with that.

  “Yes, but I promise to love you more as we learn more about each other. I believe we’ll get there as long as we’re together.”

  She’s quiet for a second as she considers what I’ve said, and I worry I haven’t said enough.

  “Yes.” She looks up at me as she takes the ring off the end of the stick. “I want to be your wife. I want you to love me.”

  I reach for her cheek and lower to her lips but pause before I make contact. “And I want to be your husband. I want you to love me, too.”

  “I do,” she whispers, closing the distance between us. “I promise I will.”

  We kiss for several minutes, connecting our lips as a seal to our hearts. Our hands slowly cup our faces, and then Ivy pulls back. She still holds the ring pinched in her fingers.

  “Will you put it on me?” I take the ring from her, and she holds her left hand out to me. My hand shakes as I take hers and slip the ring on her finger. The words I so desperately want to say to her twirl around my tongue, but I swallow them back for another day.

  I kiss her again, and then we settle back to look at the hazy night sky for a while.

  When we enter the room, we’re all slow lips and hesitant hands until we’ve removed all our clothing. It’s a bad idea to be completely naked with Ivy. I know it’s going to take all my strength to resist her, yet we aren’t racing as we normally do. I’ll muster the patience of a saint if I need to just to be close to her, to touch her, to feel her heart beat. We climb into bed and continue to kiss and roam. I know every inch of her body, yet there’s always something new to discover. My mouth kisses every inch of her skin. Her shoulders. Her wrists. Her ankles. Her kneecaps. I’m not rushing. I want each part of her to feel my lips from head to toes, no matter how long it takes. Once I’ve covered her in kisses, I return to her breasts to savor each swollen globe until she’s writhing with desire. I move lower, my mouth lingering to savor her sensitive center. Her orgasm comes slow and sweet, coating my lips and tongue with her flavor. Her legs wrap around my shoulders, her fingers running through my hair.

  “Gage,” she whimpers, but so much more is in my name on her lips.

  “I know, gorgeous,” I say to her as I kiss up her belly. “I know.”

  “Do you?” she whispers. “Do you know how I feel even though I can’t describe it?”

  “If it’s how I feel, then yes, I do.” I trace over her belly. “I do, I do, I do.”

  Ivy chuckles and struggles to sit up from lying on her back. She presses at my shoulder until I fall on my back. She repeats what I’ve done to her, starting at my neck and working down my body. It tickles, and my skin tingles. It’s a massage of her lips, and now I understand how she felt with my mouth covering her. Her moans. Her sighs. Her subtle body shifts. I can’t keep still, yet I don’t want to move. I want to continue to feel the love she’s showering over me. When her mouth takes my dick, I need to peel myself from the ceiling. I can’t take it, yet I do. Her lips around my shaft. Her tongue along the sensitive vein. Her throat swallowing. I come so hard stars dance before my eyes, and I don’t miss the irony.

  We are stars, colliding. Together.

  + + +

  Naked and satiated, we stare at one another, holding hands between us as we lie on our sides. My thumb plays with the ring on her finger.

  “Is it too soon to talk about a wedding?”

  Ivy shakes head and speaks.

  “I always thought I’d get married at the penthouse in Hawaii. I guess because it holds good memories of my mother, and it was her favorite place. I want to get married there so I can feel like she’s present.”

  “Then that’s where it will be, but I’m gonna be honest, gorgeous, I want us married like yesterday, so when can this happen for us? Do you want to wait?” I’m hoping this isn’t her answer. “Or can it be before the baby is born?” I’m selfish in wanting us married and together on paper before the baby is born. No questions asked.

  “Do you think we could get married this week?”

  I pull back to look down at her, surprised by the hesitancy in her voice but noting it’s only because she thinks I’ll reject her. Doesn’t she see I won’t deny her anything—other than sex until we’re married?

  “Is the penthouse available?”

  “Probably not, with this being spring break time of year.” Her lips purse.

  “Let me handle this, okay?” I have an idea. There’s no doubt the boys will stand up with me, but who will be there for Ivy?

  “What about a bridesmaid?” I ask. It’s strange that Ivy doesn’t really have any girlfriends, but she explained to me her trouble with relationships. Girls were either jealous of her or wanted to be her friend only to get into parties and clubs. She got lucky in college as her roommate was a musical prodigy and had her own success with the violin. Ivy and Loo got along because they weren’t in competition with each other, and their opposing schedules worked for them. We were good roommates but not best friends, she said.

  “I don’t need a bridesmaid. Just us.” Each time she makes a suggestion, she hesitate
s as if the romantic notion might be too little or too much. I love the idea of only us standing up together. With family and friends watching on, it’s plenty of a wedding for me. I only want the girl, the ring on her finger, and the license. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in life, and I don’t think I ever knew the final touch to my happiness would be Ivy. And the baby. It’s unconventional and happening quickly, but I wouldn’t change a thing. As I told her before, I want her. All of her.

  “How many days do you need to get ready then?” She’ll need a pretty dress.

  Ivy looks down at her belly and rubs. “I guess I won’t really pass as the blushing bride.”

  “You’re going to pass as the most beautiful bride ever because you’re my bride.” I cup her face, leaning forward for a brief kiss. “I want this day to be special for both of us. You’re gorgeous, and I don’t care if you marry me in a T-shirt. I want you to be comfortable, and I want you to be happy. I want you to feel like a princess, so if we need to wait, I can wait.”

  Her lip curls, and she teases me. “But you won’t have sex with me until we’re married?”

  “Not a chance,” I say with laughter although the night at the Ritz might be better than any sex we’ll ever have.

  Her voice softens, and her tone becomes serious. “I don’t want to wait any longer to be yours.”

  I like the sound of that and kiss her to tell her my thoughts.

  23

  IVY

  Within three days, we are back in Hawaii. We can’t rent the penthouse, but Gage assures me he’s made some arrangements. He has a room for us after the ceremony, but I stay with Tommy the night before our special day.

  I should be happy, and I am, but I’m also confused. Did I rush things? Am I overreacting? Am I making a mistake? I stand in front of the full-length mirror in Tommy’s hotel room and stare at myself. The dress is three-quarter-length sleeves in lace with a lace covering over the strapless bodice. The remainder of the dress flows straight to the floor, accentuating my stomach. From the back, I look normal, but the front visual leaves no mistaking that I’m almost eight months pregnant. I told Gage I didn’t care what he wore, but a tux wasn’t necessary. He told me I must have a dress that makes me feel pretty. My blonde hair flaunts loose curls with pins pulling back the front.

  I hope Gage likes it. I hope he loves me someday.

  Tommy comes up behind me. “Darlin’, you’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”

  I rub my stomach. “Even with baby?”

  “Especially because of baby.” He reaches over my head and straps a set of pearls around my neck. I meet his eyes in the mirror once he’s fastened the clasp. “You know your mother and I didn’t have much contact with our mother after we both left. But her mother, my grandmother, is named Magnolia, and she always tried to keep in contact with us. When she heard Kit was pregnant with you, she sent these pearls to your mother for her wedding, and your mother held on to these for you. I know she was waiting for this occasion to hand them over to you.”

  I stroke the white beads. I’ve never met Magnolia and haven’t heard much about any extended family over the years, but it makes me warm inside to know I have something of my mother’s from a family member who cared about her.

  “And one day, you’ll pass these to her.” Tommy reaches around and rests a hand on my belly, but only for a second. We’re all convinced the baby will be a girl, but we still don’t know. Tears well in my eyes, and he kisses my temple. “She’d be so happy for you.”

  When he pulls back, I want to sob, but I swallow the lump in my throat and take a deep breath to dull the pain of missing my mother on this special day.

  “And these are from me.” He pulls a small jewelry box from his trouser pocket and opens the lid. Pearls dangle from delicate silver hoops for my ears. “I bought them a long time ago on a trip to China, thinking one day I’d give them to a special girl on her wedding day. You’re my special girl, Ivy.”

  More tears. More swallowing. He removes the simple diamond studs in my ears and replaces them with the simple floating pearls. He smiles at me one more time over my shoulder in the mirror and then squeezes me as a signal that it’s time to go. My nerves spike again as Tommy leads me from the room to the elevator. I haven’t been told where we are holding the wedding, only that we are here at the same condo resort my mother loved. When Tommy presses P on the buttons, I peer up at him with an arched brow.

  “He pulled a few strings; mainly, the renters went out for the evening.” Tommy winks at me, and my heart swells. Gage arranged for the penthouse. For me. My nerves jack-knife again as we enter the penthouse. We can’t see the balcony around the privacy wall at the entrance, and Tommy stops me with a hand on my forearm.

  “We can turn around. No questions asked.”

  “Tommy.” I sigh, shaking my head.

  “Yeah, thought I’d check one more time.” He chuckles and raises his arm to escort me to the balcony.

  “Ready to give me away?”

  “Never giving you away, baby girl. Only adding him to us.” He winks, and I momentarily feel better, but then we take a step forward, and I think I might throw up. I’m a bundle of anxiety. Will Gage think I’m pretty? Will he smile or look stressed? Will he even be out there, or will he have come to his senses?

  My heart races in panic as we cross the living room. The drawn blinds strike me as odd because I’ve never closed them in the condo, but I realize this has been done to build anticipation. As we step over the threshold of the open glass door to the balcony, all my fears dissipate. Gage stands by the rooftop balcony railing dressed in a deep blue vest with a white shirt and dark jeans with a sprig of jasmine and roses pinned to his vest. He also wears that sheepish look I’ve seen so often when he’s nervous, but as he watches me cross the balcony, his smile grows from a crook at the corner of his lips to a full-watt smile. He rushes me, and within seconds, his hands are on my cheeks and his lips are on my lips. The kiss is claiming, filled with relief and something more, as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear. He breathes me in like he wants to memorize me and draw in my oxygen to give himself life. I feel how it can all be real. Someday. And I’m breathless when he pulls back.

  “I love you,” he says, and I blink in confusion. “I love you so much, Ivy. You look beautiful.” His eyes roam down my dress.

  “Gage,” Tommy warns before I can speak, and Gage turns to him, still cupping my face.

  “Care,” he softly sneers, drawing out the one syllable word.

  Someone clears their throat behind Gage, and he twists to look over his shoulder. “Perhaps we could hold off kissing the bride until after the vows?” The minister chuckles until Gage steps back. I don’t miss the hitch to her breath when she sees my stomach. She swallows and offers a weak smile. Gage slips his hand into mine, and I turn my attention to him instead.

  “Only us, Ivy,” he tells me.

  “Only us,” I say, my voice struggling. My other hand still clutches Tommy’s arm. He’s tightened it to his side, and I twist to look up at him.

  “I love you, baby girl, and your mama is so proud of you.” Tears come again as I tell him I love him too. He kisses my cheek.

  “Thank you,” I mouth, and then he loosens his hold, and I slip my hand from his arm. Gage and I walk the remainder of the way to the makeshift altar and stand before the minister.

  It’s early evening, and the sun won’t set for hours, but it’s lower in the sky, lending a romantic backdrop to our place by the edge of the balcony. The minister begins. Gage and I decided to go with traditional vows, and I’m relieved as I don’t think I could have recited anything by memory. When we finally slip the rings on each other’s fingers, the moment feels surreal, as if it isn’t my hand or his but someone else’s. Then he looks at me, and I know it’s us. The depth of his eyes and the liquid filling them let me know this is very real.

  He loves me.

  “I love you,” I say out of order of the wedding vows or the blessing
of the rings. Gage’s eyes open wide in surprise for half a second, and then his mouth descends on mine in the middle of the minister covering our hands and joining us together. When Gage pulls back, the minister chuckles.

  “I’d say you may kiss the bride, but considering you’ve done it twice already during the ceremony, I sense there’s no point in mentioning now is the time you may kiss your bride.”

  “My bride,” Gage mouths to me.

  “My husband,” I mouth back, and then his mouth finds mine again. Hands on my face, lips on lips, his tongue slips forward, and I tip to the side. This is how Gage kisses me. All-consuming and all telling. I am his, and he is mine.

  + + +

  The celebration continues with champagne (non-alcoholic sparkling cider for me) and a toast. First, Jared welcomes me to the family. He offers me a kiss on the cheek after telling me he’ll do everything to be the best uncle and friend. Petty comes up to me next and moves in for a kiss. Thankfully, I’m quick with the hand and cover my lips, blocking Petty from getting what belongs to Gage. He makes a raspberry sound on the back of my hand before pulling back with a pop.

  “You asshole.” Gage laughs good-naturedly, pushing Petty away from me.

  Petty shakes out his blond curls and chuckles. “Just making sure it was real for you, Ivy. Welcome to the band.”

  I giggle and shake my head. He’s going to be a handful.

  “Speaking of the band.” Tommy clears his throat. I sit on the edge of the loveseat, holding Gage’s hand, and look up at my uncle. “I don’t want to rain on my girl’s special day, but when I consider what I could give you for a wedding present, I struggled.” I reach for an earring, knowing he’s given me enough and so much more than I ever deserved.

  “The thing I want most for you is security, Ivy. That’s all I’ve ever tried to do. Make sure you felt loved and treasured and safe.” He lowers his eyes, dangling the champagne glass in his hand. “So I figure the one way to assure your security is to be the band’s manager.”