Sarai

by Lilya Myers

  “The minute I got news about the explosion, it was as though a spear had skewered my heart. Somewhere, and believe me I can’t figure out where, there was a leak. Someone alerted Aswad that Sarai was with my parents in Switzerland. That’s all they had to go on before carrying out their orders to kill her. That plane could have been carrying a dignitary for all they knew. Sure, I wanted to know who did this but I would have wasted precious time and driven myself crazy trying to figure it out. I had only one choice and that was to make use of what limited time I had to move forward with a plan that would save Sarai.”

  CHAPTER 20

  HASHIM TOLD DAN that there was no such thing as a sure thing, something Dan was familiar with in his line of work. It was the kind of stuff one just knows when faced with danger. A snap decision must be made, sometimes only based on the information you have at the time and believe to be true. It was why he made such erratic decisions, ones that wouldn’t have made a lick of sense to anyone else, Hashim explained. When carried out, it would leave hurt and disappointment it its wake. Dan understood the rationale. It wasn’t an uncommon tactic used by the CIA. However, it had never applied directly to a personal situation involving him before. That was a more difficult pill to swallow.

  “I was given a report that made me believe I had a very small window of opportunity to act, and I did. Rarely have I ever gotten information that was unreliable and there was no time to confirm its accuracy. I’ve known Aswad and his sons to have conflicting agendas and that unpredictability concerned me most. They don’t seem to share their father’s enthusiastic obsession with me. I’ve heard that if one of Aswad’s revenge orders doesn’t suit them for one reason or another, they pay someone else to do it. They’re very good liars and they’ll cover for one another only because they fear retribution from Aswad. There have been a lot of rumors over the years about how Aswad groomed his sons early on. It would be pointless to go into all that. Let me say, they didn’t have normal upbringings.”

  Dan finally broke in. “Why are you so sure that Aswad believed Sarai was on that plane?”

  “Surety is relative, so that makes me as close to sure as I am sitting here with you. I have no way of knowing whether or not he suspects that she may still be alive. I believe that whoever was carrying out Aswad’s command to go after Sarai wanted it easy in, easy out. That led me to conclude that the killer or killers had to be a third party and not one of his sons. First of all, I’m convinced that Aswad would have only trusted one of his three sons with this job and that only one person should have died, not a planeload of strangers. Furthermore, it would have been made to look like an accident or natural cause – like Hasne. Nothing to warrant police attention and only the person closest to his target will know. He would have picked them off one by one. That’s the way Aswad operates. First, he generates fear. Then, the threat of reprisal against another loved one forces silence. Aswad meant to hurt me deeper than if he put a knife through my own heart.” Hashim dropped his head and looked down into the cup he was holding between his hands.

  “Instead, there was a supposed accident that left a lot of people dead. Aswad is worse than the devil. Inflicting pain on his perceived enemies is a cause for him to celebrate. However, I believe…no, I am as sure as I know my name, that our parents’ deaths were a mistake. The actual killer or killers were hired out by someone other than Aswad and they weren’t aware of how he played the game.

  Dan shrugged. “I don’t know why you wouldn’t be willing to collaborate with me on this. I could take all the information about Aswad to the CIA. You could provide a wealth of information for the file we already have on him. They would probably be able to shut him down and –”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Dan. The operative word there is probably. His tentacles are many and far reaching. He’d know if I sold him out to you and you are the last person on this earth that should be on his radar.” Hashim’s last statement eluded to the crux of what this bizarre meeting was all about.

  “Of course,” Hashim continued, “there’s nothing to support or discredit my theory. And that’s how the Swiss government sees it. Nothing but speculation, and speculation is not enough for the Swiss to mount an investigation into the crash. It’s a valid enough theory to me, though. I can only imagine that Aswad was probably infuriated when he wasn’t given proof of Sarai’s death. For my Sarai, that’s only partly a good thing… that he doesn’t have any proof. In other ways, not so good. Aswad is known to require a meaningful memento. A memento with which he could taunt and torture me.”

  “But you don’t know that for sure.” Always the optimist, Dan.

  “Oh, but I do,” said Hashim locking eye contact with Dan. “No one but the doctor and I knew that Hasne’s ring finger, with her wedding rings, had been removed. Aswad sent me the rings the next day. He kept the finger.” If having learned, only an hour or so ago, that Hasne didn’t die of natural causes was a shock to Dan, this topped the charts. He was seeing the side of grief that Hashim saw, from a whole new perspective.

  “With Sarai,” Hashim went on, “for now, Aswad has to accept the fact that she was killed in that crash. But without proof… He has no trophy. My concern was… and still is, that nothing will ever surface to show that Sarai is alive. I have done and can only do my best to maintain that facade but I’m not foolish enough to believe that the truth will never emerge. There’s always a crack in the best engineered structure.”

  Dan was pensive, trying to absorb what he was learning.

  Hashim continued. “I tucked Sarai safely away a few days before I came to the memorial and performed for Aswad. It was difficult to play the part of the grieving father all the while praising in my heart that she was still alive. He shouldn’t have expected me to be mournful of our parents and I had to play that part too. Remember, I had spent the last few years trying to make it appear as though I had severed those ties. There were some faces at the memorial that we’ve never seen before, right? I know they weren’t anyone our parents’ knew. The only thing Aswad cared about were reports on me that could tell him whether I would I go stark raving mad or if I would funnel all my grief into avenging Sarai’s death.”

  “So you had to act the part,” Dan agreed.

  “I could have allowed myself to give in to guilt and grief. To give up my fight to the emotion of what happened to our families would have only left me useless and Sarai more vulnerable. I know you must have thought I turned a cold bastard. I could have easily acted on the murderous hatred I felt for Aswad and his sons and avenged the deaths of our parents. There was only one thing that kept my rage in check and stopped me from doing that. I knew that a foolish, wanton attack on them would have left me dead and put Sarai in an unthinkable hell. My goal was to protect my daughter. My greatest fear? It might only be a matter of time before Aswad discovered that Sarai was alive.”

  “Ah, so that’s why you left so abruptly from the memorial service in Capri…”

  “Yes, partly. Sarai was in France with Hanan. I had to return there to pick her up and come quickly back to Capri. The great exodus of mourners from the memorial was the perfect distraction for me to return unnoticed. Given the fact that I left when I did improved my chance that Aswad would think I couldn’t wait to distance myself from Capri. He wouldn’t suspect that I’d go back there ever because of the pain I associated with it. Using my own jets and flight plans were the best means I had to throw off a tail. Nevertheless, I had to move fast. That’s why it was so urgent that I see you in secret and catch you before you left the island. It couldn’t have worked out more perfectly.”

  “What would you have done if I had gone back to the States? Plan B, Hashim?”

  He tilted his head to look at Dan. His lips turned upward in that familiar mischievous expression that made him look so much like his father. “It was the same as Plan A. I didn’t have a Plan B.”

  Dan was silent for a moment. Then he said, “Speaking of which… you still haven’t told me all there i
s to know about your Plan A. I understand why you did what you did and little Sarai is here. I get that. You seem to be leaving out some important connecting details such as why I need control over your Swiss Bank account. You’ve always been long-winded but…but it’s not like you to be so…so cryptic.”

  “I’m getting to that.”

  Dan rolled his eyes.

  “I did not make a Will, by the way. As I told you, everything is under your name. You could walk in there right now, press your thumbprint into the reader – access everything.” Hashim could drag out a story with the most minute of details but he’d never struggled getting to the point about anything before. This was agonizing. For both of them.

  CHAPTER 21

  HASHIM BREATHED IN deeply and exhaled. “God gave me this child to love and protect. I can no longer do that if she is with me. You don’t know how I prayed this day would never come. I also knew that we don’t always get those things for which we pray. You remember our parents always preached to us about preparing for a rainy day. Well, I took their advice. I began calling in some favors owed to me. People I trusted could render me particular services. I had a checklist of things, all of which could fall into place in the event of the unexpected, and all that were designed to protect Sarai.

  “As I said, one was setting up the Swiss account in your name. The vault in Switzerland contains all the legal documentation pertaining to the adoption of a child along with a new birth certificate. The child’s name is Sarah Marie Somers. The birth parents listed on the certificate are Daniel and Marie Somers. I have her new passport here.” Hashim opened his briefcase, pulled out a passport, and handed it to Dan. “You will be needing it.”

  Dan opened the passport. It was complete, including all the right visas to authenticate the child’s origin and travel. For the moment, he was so stunned that his thoughts froze on his lips. He pushed off from his chair, pacing a few steps and running one hand through his hair. “Surely, you know I would do anything for you, Hashim, but this is crazy! You do have other options. Don’t be stubborn. You and Sarai can leave with me, come back to the states. The CIA will see that you both have protection and asylum there. You have a lot of information about Aswad and I’m sure, a few others that would interest them.”

  “No.” His reply was flat and firm. There was no mistaking just how final his no was. I wouldn’t consider involving the CIA, not before and surely not now. I’m sure they would do everything to protect us as long as the information I can give them is useful. I am all too familiar with how the CIA deems usefulness. No offense, Dan. Once I am no longer an asset to their game, the protection would be lifted. Just how long do you think I could keep her safe or alive in the U.S. after that? Sarai and I would be like sitting ducks for Aswad. You know it and I know it. I could not allow Sarai to live her life in fear and on the run, hunted like an animal.

  “I haven’t spent the past couple of years and a lot of money laying an endless trail of dead ends for nothing. As long as Aswad and his bunch believe that Sarai is dead and I am a grieved man going on with my life in Egypt, they will spin their wheels tirelessly to spy on me and my involvement with the cause.”

  “Shortly after I learned that Hasne had been murdered, I knew that Sarai had to be given a new identity. As soon as you are out of here and on a plane back to the U.S. with her, there won’t be a shred of evidence that Sarai….Sarah, is not your birth child. You will certainly tell your closest friends and family that you and Marie adopted with the understanding that Sarai…Sarah will be raised to believe that she is your natural child. I can’t imagine anyone questioning that or violating your wishes, especially after what Marie… you both went through.”

  “There’s something else you need to understand. Everything I’ve done the past couple of years, the way I treated you, yours and my family alike was with motive. And it was one motive only. Protect those I love. Aswad followed my comings and goings, not yours. That’s why I avoided you after Hasne died. He had to believe we cut ties. So, I fabricated a story of deceit and jealousy between us, then fed it in bits and pieces in ways that I knew would get back to Aswad. He’d have no desire to waste time on you if I made you an obsolete part of my life. The truth is that when I needed and wanted your friendship and support most, I had to keep that chasm between us. It was a means to the end we find ourselves at now.”

  “You’ve been a busy man, building the network of connections you seem to have at your fingertips. And what makes you think that I will just go along with your little Plan A or B…. or whatever?” Dan’s sarcasm was mostly a product of the conflict of emotions he was having. He was deeply hurt that Hashim hadn’t confided in him long before this. Dan was a considerate and caring man; gentle and generous with his loyalty. But to think that Hashim could give up his flesh and blood, stoked the pain and turned it into a smoldering resentment he’d never felt toward Hashim.

  Dan had longed to become a father, then smothered those yearnings when they found out Marie could not conceive. No amount of desire to father a child, however, could substitute for the real deal. He thought. It was the part of him that did not yet understand the depth of a father’s love and the torment one must go through to make the sacrifice that Hashim was making. “We are brothers, Hashim. I would give my life for you and Sarai, but this feels all wrong. I…it seems as if I’m letting you go off to the slaughter and the only one I can’t save you from is you.”

  “I’m not asking you to save me. I’m asking you to save my daughter.”

  Hashim lowered his head and didn’t speak for a moment. His voice was almost a whisper when he lifted his head and began to speak in Arabic. “Let me tell you about a child in Giza. She was the same age as my Sarai. It was gruesome and sadistic. She was the daughter of a man I know through the consulate. They carved her….” Hashim could feel the bile rising in his throat as he remembered the father’s screams of anguish. He couldn’t go on. “There will be a day…you will understand beyond any case I can make to you today.”

  Dan knew that Hashim would not be moved to change his mind. Silence passed between them for what seemed an eternity, until Hashim spoke again. “There is no one else on this earth that I trust more than you and Marie. Do you think that I can give Sarai the guidance and advice her mother or her grandmother would have given her? She needs a mother. I know in my heart that you will raise her as though she were your own. You and Marie can give her the security of a home and the model of a loving family. I have known Marie now for many years. I also know the kind and adoring family that reared her will be no different as grandparents to Sarai. I don’t doubt for a minute the two of you would see that she is educated and grows into a confident, successful woman. The money in Switzerland is there is for you to see that Sarai will have –for whatever you feel she needs.”

  “So, just how am I to explain the sudden appearance of this child in mine and Marie’s home? It’s practically public knowledge that we couldn’t have children and…”

  Hashim spoke before Dan could say any more. “Do you think I had left any stones unturned where that might be a concern? You adopted from inside the U.S. If, and that is a very big if, Aswad had even the slightest notion that a fast one was pulled, he would dig and check foreign adoptions, considering Sarai was born in Egypt. When someone asks you, you say that you did not tell your friends or your colleagues because you were afraid the adoption might not go through,” he said flatly. “People will understand that kind of disappointment in your case.”

  “Every bit of documentation is in order and it’s sealed from prying eyes. No one will be able to trace her birth records and find that she was not born in the U.S. In this case, she was born to a teenage mother who gave her up for adoption. Believe me, Aswad would have to weave his way through an insurmountable amount of bureaucracy and red tape to get at the truth….and that’s only if they believed it wasn’t the truth. Don’t forget, Sarai was presumed to be on that plane and they don’t have a body to tell them differently eit
her.”

  Hashim wouldn’t intrude on Dan’s thoughts. He knew that Dan had to come to terms with what might be the gravest and most consequential decision he would ever have to make. Dan looked over at the tiny form under the comforter. He would never be able to tell her the truth about her real parents. Could I live with that lie? Will I be able to step into the role of father and treat her as though she was really mine? Too many lies.

  Dan’s voice was soft and full of emotion when he responded in Hashim’s native Arabic. “I will do this for you, for Sarai. And for Hasne. You must understand that I will love, care for, and protect Sarai with the same fierceness as if she were my own. I can say that without question.” He rose from his chair and his body went stiff as his voice raged with pain. “I will give her everything she needs and I will see to it that her talents and mind are given every opportunity to grow and flourish beyond which she thinks she is capable. I will allow her to believe she is my daughter and to call me father by name so she can grow up unencumbered by question and doubt. But I will never…I promise you… I will never put myself above the truth in my heart – that you are her real father. And it is the one thing you must never do either.”

  By the time Dan had finished, he was shaken. “I will call you when we’re back in the States. It may be a couple of days.”

  “No! We must not have any contact until I am able to call you. It will be one last time and one last time only. I must play the part of the grieved father.” He cleared his throat to disguise what he was feeling but with a stoic voice, his words spoke the truth inside him. “That part will not be difficult.”

  Now’s not the time to fall apart, he chided himself. That weakness is what Dan will use to convince me to abort this whole thing. “So, I will you call you in one week. I am traveling out of the country to Spain. Anyone watching will view it as my escape from reality. An attorney who bought one of my planes presented a business proposition to me some months ago–a building material developed by a company in Spain to manufacture in Egypt. It may take years to develop and…” his voice trailed off. “No matter. It will keep me too busy to –.”