Stained Snow

by Brown, Fallon

  “You can obviously see what we did. Pa caught us,” she said, her eyes glued to the table as her cheeks reddened even more. “Will didn’t touch me again.” Her father’s hand squeezed her shoulder. “A couple days later, there were shots. Will was grazed by a bullet, but no one else was hurt. He was sure it was his brother.”

  “Don’t doubt it,” Patrick muttered. Will’s mother only sobbed. Patrick put an arm around Sarah and pulled her closer.

  She told them about Will riding off and finding out she carried his child. She glanced over at her father. His face had grown ruddy. “We married a few days after he returned.”

  She ran her hand over her swollen stomach again. When the baby kicked that hand, she wanted to burst into tears. “I thought everything would be okay. He still wanted to find Tommy, but he didn’t leave me.”

  “Until I made him.” Her father’s voice was low and rough. She hated that he blamed himself. Before she could say anything, he continued, “I had a contract with the Army. To ship beef to them at their new fort near Denver. I figured we’d only be gone a couple days, and I left a couple men here. He was getting antsy. I thought it would do him good.”

  “Pa.” She reached out to him, but he shook his head.

  “He must have been watching for us to leave. He hit my foreman over the head. Shot one of my other men.” He glanced away. “We buried him over a week ago.”

  “I’m sorry. So, so sorry,” Will’s mother sobbed.

  “It’s like when he took Anna and David from Will.” Patrick’s arm tightened around his wife’s shoulders. “It’s no one’s fault but Thomas’”

  “Thomas took me,” Maggie continued. “He knew Will would come after me. He set a trap. Will did as he expected.” The words nearly stuck in her throat.

  “Where’s my son?” Will’s mother pushed back from the table.

  “Which one?” George asked quietly.

  “Well, Tommy’s dead, isn’t he?” she snapped.

  “Sarah,” Patrick said, a warning in his voice, but she shook her head.

  “Yes,” Maggie answered her. “Thomas is dead. He’d already shot William three times. I shot him before he could finish Will off. I only wanted to stop him. I’m not sorry he’s dead, though.”

  “Maggie.”

  Sarah shook her head before George could say any more. “She’s right. I protected him for so long, and he’s caused so much hurt. I’m the one who should be sorry.” She looked back to Maggie. “Can I see my son?”

  She got to her feet. “I’ll show you to him.”

  She hoped he hadn’t let go yet.

  Chapter 28

  William floated in and out of consciousness. Sometimes the pain was nearly unbearable. Sometimes he floated in a cloud where he couldn’t feel anything. Then, there were the dreams. The ones where he saw Anna and David. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t reach them. Through it all, his brother laughed, as if he enjoyed the torment. Flames licked at his feet, at his skin. He must have gone to Hell for his sins, for failing his family, for betraying his wife.

  Then, a blessed coolness. Maybe he had been forgiven. Maybe he finally made it to heaven. The pain was back now. He wouldn’t feel this much pain in heaven, would he? A hand restrained his shoulder, and he fought back against it. He had to figure out where he was and get to his family.

  There was something else he needed to do, too. What was it? Maggie. The name echoed in his head. Was Maggie safe? Adam had been getting her out of there. She would be fine without him.

  He was wet. Was it raining? He jerked his head. What was that sound? Something sniffling, snuffing. A bear? No. It couldn’t be. He wasn’t in the woods. There weren’t bears in heaven. Or hell. Then, a voice got through to him.

  “Will, please don’t leave me. Please come back to me. I can’t lose you. I need you here. Our baby will need you. Please, come back.”

  More rain fell on his face. Down his neck. Not rain. An image formed in his mind. Maggie. Tears rolled down her face. She held out a small bundle to him. Their baby. No. His face tightened as he struggled to think. That wasn’t right. The baby wasn’t born yet. The image of his wife kept pushing it toward him. He couldn’t reach them. Anna and David stood beyond them. Tears shone on his first wife’s face then came the smile that always made her so bright.

  Maggie’s name formed on his lips.

  Suddenly more noises filtered through the cloud surrounding him. The snapping of a fire. Boots thudding across the floor. Back and forth. Back and forth. Humming came from another direction. The clicking of needles together. A familiar image jumped fully formed into his head of his mother sitting in her rocking chair, her knitting in her lap as he sat at her feet.

  Another voice. “My son’s strong, dear. He’ll come back to you.”

  “Ma.” His voice cracked on the single word.

  Suddenly all the noises stopped. He struggled to pry his eyes open. Finally, a slit of light came through his lids. Maggie’s brown hair cascaded down, brushing across his shoulder. Slim feet moved at the edge of his vision, and his mother knelt down beside him. “Will, oh, Will.”

  Maggie dropped her head to his chest and sobs wracked her body. “Maggie.” He barely managed to get her name out and even that left him breathless. He floated again.

  When William woke again, a hand rested on his arm. Less confused now, he cracked his eyes open. Patrick sat there next to his bed. He hadn’t dreamed his Ma there. “Pa.” The lone sound croaked out of his mouth and made his throat hurt.

  The older man jumped at his voice. “Oh, Will. Thank God. We thought we might have lost you, too.”

  William opened his mouth, but no sound would come out. Patrick sensed his distress. “I’ll get you some water. You must be parched.”

  He left William’s bedside, but it wasn’t him who brought the tin cup of water to him a few moments later. His lips might have curved up when Maggie stepped into the room, but he couldn’t be sure.

  Seeing her brought a little of his strength back. She put a hand under his head and lifted it before holding the cup to his lips. When he would have gulped the water, she only let it slide little by little down his throat. “Slow now,” she murmured. “You don’t want to make yourself sick.”

  After drinking, his throat burned less, but it had used up most of his strength as well. Maggie kissed his forehead then ran a finger down his cheek. “Rest,” she murmured. “You’re back with us now, so rest.”

  #

  So it went. He’d sleep. When he’d wake, someone would bring him water, or some food, and then he’d sleep again. He didn’t know how long this went on. He had no way to track the days. No one would speak of what happened, saying he needed to gain his strength back. Sometimes he saw a pain, a grief, in Maggie’s eyes. He wanted to ask her about it, but he lacked even the strength for that. She’d assured him she was fine, as was the baby. Nothing else should matter.

  Should it?

  His mother sat with him for a time every day. He couldn’t bring himself to meet her eyes. He’d woken once to her crying, sure she still blamed him.

  She sat there now, knitting quietly, while he couldn’t do more than stare at the ceiling. “I’m sorry, Ma,” he finally said.

  From the corner of his eye, he saw her set her knitting aside. She moved closer to his bed. “No, Will,” she said. “I am the one who is sorry. I always protected him. I shouldn’t have. I saw the way he treated you, and I excused it. You looked so much like your father. I was sure it hurt him as much as it did me.”

  She brushed hair away from his face, and he closed his eyes. “I never even knew him. It wasn’t my fault.”

  Her fingers stilled. “Of course it wasn’t, Will. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I didn’t blame you.”

  He shook his head slightly. “He did. It’s one of the things he said to me that day.”

  “Lord, Will. I am sorry. I had no idea he harbored those thoughts. I didn’t know he would hurt Anna. I didn’t ev
en want to think it. It’s why I was so harsh with you. I couldn’t accept one of my boys had that darkness inside. I should have known.”

  “We tried to show you. You wouldn’t believe us.”

  Her next words were quiet. “I didn’t want to accept it. I’ve known it since your sister died. Do you remember her?”

  He did, but he was surprised she mentioned it. She’d barely spoken the baby’s name in at least fifteen years. “I do.”

  “We convinced ourselves she smothered herself in her blankets. An accident. Well, I forced myself to believe it. When we buried her, he smiled. He never cried over her, not once. Never showed any grief. Instead he smiled. I knew then but wouldn’t let myself think it.”

  She brought her gaze to his face. “I’m sorry, Will. I should have done something about him then. Instead of convincing myself I was wrong about him.”

  “Ma.” He lifted his hand to her, but it dropped again since he lacked the strength to hold it up.

  She grabbed it and brought it to her face. “I’m sorry, Will,” she said again. “I loved Anna and David, and I couldn’t let myself believe he’d do that. It hurt you, and I’m sorry for that, too.”

  She glanced toward the doorway, but it remained empty. Her gaze came back to his face. “I like her too, Will. I haven’t had much time with her, but she seems to be a good girl. I know she fell for Thomas’ charms, but she loves you. I’ve seen it.”

  He recognized Maggie’s steps coming down the hallway, and he smiled. “I love her, too, Ma.”

  She brushed a hand over his forehead. “I can see that. I loved your pa as much as I do Patrick. Sometimes you can find that twice. I’m glad you have.”

  “Me too, Ma,” he said as Maggie stepped into the doorway. Her smile chased the shadows from his mind. He couldn’t wait until he gained enough strength to show her how much he loved her again.

  #

  October 2, 1888

  William’d had enough. He needed to get out of this bed, get back on his own two feet. He’d been up with some help from George or Patrick. He needed to do it on his own.

  He listened for a moment, but as he’d gained more strength back, his caretakers stopped spending every minute by his side. He should have at least a few minutes before one of them came in to check on him. He pushed himself up in the bed, grimacing at the pain shooting through his shoulder and down through his chest and side. He wasn’t going to let that stop him. Laying in bed wasn’t going to help him get past this.

  He held on to the post of the bed as he got his feet under him. His legs threatened to fold at the pain, but he kept them straight and took one step. The room spun around him and he was glad to still have a grip on the post. Once the room settled again, he took another step, releasing the bed post as he went. This time the floor shifted under him.

  His body lurched forward and only a hand against the wall kept him from falling. He should have gotten back into bed but wasn’t ready to give up yet. With one hand on the wall, he put one foot in front of the other until he reached the door. He continued down the hall, still using the wall for support. When he reached the end, his mother and Maggie sat together at the table.

  His eyes moistened as he looked on. He could almost think he was back home, and his Ma had come to visit with Anna. He wasn’t home, and Anna wasn’t sitting there. It was Maggie. He didn’t feel the pain he thought he would. Maggie healed something in him.

  He lifted his arm to wipe away the wetness running over. The motion must have caught the attention of the women. They both turned their heads toward him. Maggie moved first.

  “You shouldn’t be up,” she scolded him. “You need to rest.”

  He shook his head but leaned on her when she offered an arm to lead him to the table. He sank onto the bench when he reached it. The walk out here had taken more from him than he expected. He wouldn’t admit that. “I had to,” he finally said to Maggie. “I can’t just lay in there. I need to do something.”

  His mother reached across the table and laid her hand over his. “You have to do nothing, William, except to rest and get better so you can take care of this family of yours.” Her gaze slid away from him. “I wish we could have come for the wedding.”

  The guilt weighed down on his shoulders with those few words. “I know, Ma. I’m sorry. It happened quick. We didn’t figure you’d be able to make it here in time. I didn’t think you’d want to.”

  Her gaze came back to him. “Of course, I would have wanted to be there. You’re my son.”

  They’d already been over this. No reason to rehash it. “Ma, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”

  “I’m sorry for ever making you think it. And for so much more. I’m so sorry, Will.”

  He shook his head and pushed away the bitterness that had always lived in a corner of his heart. “It’s not your fault, Ma. There was something wrong in him. It’s over. He’s gone. I…I’m sorry, Ma. I tried to bring him in. He wouldn’t come. I had to.”

  “You didn’t kill him.” Maggie’s voice came from beside him. “I did.”

  He jerked his head around at her. He’d been awake for three weeks now, but that had been something they didn’t talk about. “What do you mean?”

  She ducked her head then snapped it back up, her eyes blazing as they bored into his. “He was going to kill you. You wouldn’t have been able to stop him. I did.”

  His mind spun. He hadn’t remembered shooting Thomas. He never would have thought Maggie would do it. Not only because of her history with him, but because Adam was supposed to get her away from there, keep her safe. “Where’s Adam?” He didn’t remember seeing him since he woke up.

  “He’s been around, but don’t worry about him. He tried to get me away from that clearing. I couldn’t let him kill you. I took his gun and ran back. I thought you were dead, Will. I would have killed him so many times over if he had taken you from me.”

  He couldn’t help it. Despite everything, a smile twitched over his face. “Just once, Maggie. Once is enough.”

  His mother turned her head toward the door, and a smile spread across her face. “Your pa is coming back.”

  It wasn’t until a moment later he heard the footsteps and realized how weak he was. He normally would have been the first to hear them. He tensed up. How would he protect himself or his family when he couldn’t even hear someone coming soon enough? Then, he relaxed. There was no danger now. He didn’t need to be on alert. Thomas was gone. They were safe.

  Surprise flashed over his stepfather’s face when he stepped into the house with George beside him. Adam stopped in the doorway. He started to turn back around, but George stopped him with a hand on his arm.

  Patrick stepped over to him. “What are you doing out of bed, Will? You’re not strong enough yet.”

  “He walked out here by himself,” Sarah told her husband. “Maybe he’s stronger than we thought.”

  Patrick looked between them then he nodded. He sank down on the bench beside William. “I was going to wait longer before we told you, but maybe your ma is right.”

  Something twisted inside of him. What was it? What else could have happened? Thomas couldn’t have taken anything more from him. He sat there in silence waiting for his stepfather to say more.

  Patrick cleared his throat before he spoke again. “After you rode off, I took a couple men and went out to your ranch. We hoped to find something to salvage from the ashes.”

  “There was nothing. He took everything.”

  Maggie reached out and took his hand. He turned his own over and squeezed hers but didn’t take his eyes off his stepfather.

  “You’re right. There was nothing left there. Nothing that could be saved. We rebuilt.”

  “What do you mean? You rebuilt what?”

  “Your house. I didn’t have any trouble getting people to come out and help me. We had to wait until the snow melted, but it only took a few weeks. You have a place to return to now.”

  William couldn’t proce
ss it all. He had ridden away, but Patrick rebuilt his home. George found out where he lived and notified his parents, his only family, told them he was still alive. They had come. “Why?”

  “Because you’re our son. We wanted your home to be ready for you when you came back. We didn’t know, of course, but…Well, we hoped. We hoped you would come riding back. It’s ready. It will be there when you’re well enough to travel. You can come home.”

  William wasn’t sure what to say. He could go home. He could take his wife to his home. They could raise their child, and any more they had, there. It would mean taking his wife away from her own father, her own home. The home they had started to make together. He looked back up at the man he’d always considered his father. “I have a home here, Pa.”

  He wasn’t surprised by the disappointment in Patrick’s face. He only wished he hadn’t been the one to put it there. “I understand, Will. We’ll miss seeing you. I’m glad to know you’re well, at least.”

  He forced a smile across his face. “I’ll make sure to keep in touch, but my life is here.” He looked over at Maggie, and the smile came easier. There was no choice to make.

  Patrick nodded. “We’ll need to be getting back soon. I’m sure James has taken care of everything, but I need to get back.”

  The smile dropped from his face. “When?”

  “Another day or two. It’ll take a few days to get back. I don’t want to put it off for too long.”

  “I’ll ride with you,” Adam spoke up from where he still stood in the doorway. When several heads turned his way, he shrugged. “My mother’s people are up that way. It’s been years since I’ve been back.”

  Understanding dawned for William. It was hard for Adam to see them together. Now, he’d found the best excuse to jump on. He didn’t say anything as Maggie stood and walked over to him. “I’ll miss you,” she murmured, “but, I hope you find your happiness, too.” She moved back over to William. He nodded at the other man. Adam returned the gesture before turning and walking back outside. They understood each other.

  “Come on, Will,” Maggie said. “You should get back to bed. You need your rest.”