by L. A. Witt
“Yeah, that works.”
“Okay. Just wanted to be sure. Let me print the stencil and get everything situated, and we can start.” Colin motioned toward his workstation. “Go ahead and take off your shirt and get comfortable.”
Comfortable. Right.
After Daniel had taken off his shirt, Colin had him straddle a small chair and lean over another one. The routine was vaguely familiar. Colin wiped something cool over his skin, then scraped a small disposable razor over it. He put on the stencil, but instead of having Daniel look in the mirror, he snapped a photo with his phone and showed it to him.
“That look right?” he asked.
Daniel’s breath caught. Whoa, they were really doing this. Mouth dry, he nodded. “Yeah. That looks good.”
“Right size? Right spot?”
Daniel looked again, and nodded again. “Yep.”
“All right. Time to get started.”
So it was. A few minutes later, the buzz of the needle sent a shiver through Daniel.
Colin put a hand on his back. “Remember to breathe,” he said, and the needle made contact. Daniel grunted, squeezing his eyes shut, but managed to stay still. It wasn’t as intense as the pec tattoo, that was for sure, but it didn’t exactly tickle. Colin was working quickly, too, and the burn rapidly expanded from one small area to a much larger one. The outline, Daniel guessed.
Colin leaned away for a second, his hand materializing in Daniel’s peripheral vision as he dipped the needle in the ink again. Daniel closed his eyes, bracing for the renewed burn, and when it came, he released his breath.
“You okay?” Colin asked without stopping.
“I’m good.”
“Okay. Just say so if you want a break.”
“Will do.”
Colin continued working. This area was definitely sensitive. Daniel reminded himself over and over it wasn’t nearly as bad as the one on his chest, so if he made it through that, he could make it through this. He just needed to think about something besides how much it hurt. Something to talk about and keep his mind off ow, ow, ow.
Finally, he blurted out, “So do I ever get to see some of your old work?”
Colin stopped tattooing for a second. “I’m assuming you’re not asking about my early tattoos.”
“No. But if you’re not cool with me seeing it, that’s fine.”
“I usually don’t show them to people.” Colin put the needle to Daniel’s skin again, reigniting that eye-watering burn. “I . . . it’s hard to explain. But it’s weird to see myself back then, I guess.”
“Oh. That’s cool. I don’t have to see them.” Daniel winced as the needle grazed a particularly sensitive nerve. “I’m just curious. It’s such a different world.”
“You’ve watched porn though, haven’t you?”
“Yeah. But never with someone. I haven’t met all that many guys who have a lot of experience sleeping with guys, let alone on camera.” He laughed softly, feeling like a fucking idiot for even bringing it up. “I guess it’s funny—we come from such different worlds.”
“Most people do, when you really get down to the details.”
“Yeah, but . . .” Daniel exhaled. “You’re out. You’re completely comfortable with your sexuality.”
“Aren’t you comfortable with yours?”
“Well, the part where I’m into men, yes. But it’s so . . .”
“New?”
“Yeah. I kind of feel like I missed a chunk of my own life, you know?”
“I can understand that.” Colin paused, but the needle kept moving, so he must’ve been concentrating on some details. When he’d finished that spot, he went on. “For what it’s worth, you missed a lot, but that’s not entirely a bad thing.”
“How do you figure?”
“You’ve never had to worry about getting caught, for one. It sounds kind of hot and all, and yes, it can be hot to fool around with people nearby or where you could get busted. But it’s different when you might get caught by your parents. Especially when you’re a kid and you still half-believe them when they say they’ll ground you ’til you’re dead.”
Daniel shuddered, thankful the tattoo needle wasn’t touching him just then. “Yeah, I’ll pass on that. Hiding my ink is going to be stressful enough.”
“You won’t be the first,” Colin said softly. “I know people in their forties and fifties who’ve had tattoos for decades, and their folks still don’t know.”
“Really?” Daniel laughed. “Okay, now I don’t feel so bad.”
“You shouldn’t feel bad anyway. The tattoo is for you. No one else.”
“I know.” Sighing, Daniel closed his eyes. “Maybe it’ll help me fool myself into thinking I’m not a clueless kid.”
“Daniel.” The buzz of the tattoo gun quieted. Colin rolled his chair around to the side, and met his gaze. “You’re not a kid. You’re not clueless—you’re just inexperienced. And I think anyone with half a brain would admire you for having the foresight to protect yourself in your hometown and find your way out. If I’d been in your shoes, I probably would’ve collapsed under it. I mean, I was in a shitty relationship for eighteen months, and I’m still putting myself back together. You survived eighteen years, got away from it, and took control of your life. The fact that you didn’t find the opportunity to have sex along the way is kind of . . . not important in the grand scheme of things. What is important is that you made it out of a horribly oppressive upbringing, and still managed to land on your feet.”
“Eventually.”
Colin smiled. “Better late than never, right?”
“Yeah.” Daniel couldn’t help smiling, too. “Better late than never.”
Chapter 17
“We can probably take that bandage off now.” Colin clicked off the TV. They’d been on his bed long enough to watch a movie—Colin leaning against the headboard, Daniel lying in the opposite direction to stay off his tattoo—and now the credits were rolling.
“Might have to let you do it.” Daniel was on his stomach, arms folded under his head, and twisted around slightly to look at Colin. “Can’t really reach.”
“No problem. Don’t move.” Colin patted Daniel’s leg, then leaned away to get the tube of Aquaphor lotion he kept by the bed for his own tattoos.
Daniel already had his shirt off, and for a second, Colin just had to drink in the sight of him. Lying there, a pillow under his chest to support his back, his jeans resting just low enough on his hips to make Colin’s mouth water—God, he looked good. And he’d look even better without the bandage taped over part of his back.
“Okay. Here we go.” He carefully tugged at the tape holding down one side. It was just masking tape, so it didn’t stick enough to hurt when he pulled it off. Still, the skin around a fresh tattoo could be sensitive, so he didn’t want to rip it off, either. “This feel okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.” Daniel looked over his shoulder. “How does it look?”
“Give me your phone and I’ll take a picture for you.”
“Oh, cool.” While Daniel opened up the camera app, Colin finished removing the bandage, and couldn’t help grinning at his handiwork. The skin was still red and irritated, but the tattoo hadn’t had a chance to scab up yet, so it still looked really good.
He took Daniel’s phone and snapped a photo. As he handed it back, he said, “Probably looks the same as it did right before I covered it up. When it scabs up and looks like hell, use this to remind yourself how it’ll look once it heals.”
“Yeah, I remember that from the bird.” Daniel rested on his elbows and cradled the phone in both hands. “I still can’t get over how amazing it looks.”
Colin smiled. “Good. I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it. It turned out so much better than I had pictured it.”
“That’s great to hear. So you want to keep going with the whole piece?”
“Absolutely.” Daniel paused, grimacing. “Just, uh, maybe not tonight.”
&n
bsp; Colin laughed. “No, definitely not tonight.” He planted a kiss on Daniel’s shoulder. “Stay there—I’m going to go get something to clean it off.”
“Okay.”
Colin went into the kitchen to get a couple of paper towels. He ran water over one of them so it would be damp but not dripping, and left the other dry.
Back in the bedroom, he said, “Okay, this will probably sting. And it’s a little cool.”
“I know.”
Carefully, Colin touched the damp paper towel to Daniel’s back, and paused there to let him get used to it. When Daniel had relaxed, Colin dabbed at the tattoo, cleaning off some ink residue and some blood that had seeped out. Once it was clean, he used the dry paper towel to wipe off his own hands.
“All right. Done with that part.” He picked up the tube of Aquaphor. “I’m going to put some lotion on it. This might make it sting, too.”
Daniel nodded, but said nothing.
Carefully, Colin smoothed on the ointment, making sure his touch was extra light in the puffier areas. Here and there, Daniel flinched, and once he cursed under his breath, but for the most part, he didn’t seem bothered.
“I’m really glad you’re doing this part,” he said as Colin was finishing up. “That’s, uh, kind of a hard-to-reach spot.”
Colin laughed. “Yeah, back tattoos are a bitch to take care of while they’re healing.”
“I mean, in a pinch, I can get someone on the ship to help me, but then they’ll make me pay them back somehow.”
“Like . . . how?”
“Playing wingman for them in a club.” Daniel buried his face in the pillow and groaned. Then he raised his head. “Every time I ask somebody for a favor, suddenly it’s ‘you’re my wingman, Moore.’ I’d rather clean the heads for a week.”
“Oh come on. It can’t be that bad.”
“Says the man who’s never tried to help a drunk sailor charm a lady.”
“Oh.” Colin grimaced. “Yeah, maybe not. Well, I won’t make you play wingman for me.” He smoothed on some more lotion. “You can make it up to me in other ways.”
Daniel twisted around to meet his gaze, and Colin winked. They both laughed.
Facing front again, Daniel pulled up the picture on his phone. “Man, I still can’t get over how amazing this looks.”
“Glad you like it. Just, uh, fair warning—there’s a lot of detail in some places, so it’s probably going to scab up more than the bird did. Which means it’s gonna look like ass for a little while.” He capped the lotion. “Just don’t panic if you see it in the mirror and it doesn’t look so hot.”
“Good to know.” Daniel turned his head a bit, maybe so he could see Colin. “The swallow didn’t look too bad, actually. The lines were a bit rough, but it still looked fine.”
“Yeah, well.” Colin added another dab to a particularly tender-looking spot. “Like I said, there’s a lot of detail. That means a lot more ink concentrated into smaller areas, and those scab up pretty bad. Don’t be surprised if it looks like the tattoo itself is peeling off.”
Daniel wrinkled his nose. “Lovely.”
“It is what it is.”
“The joys of getting inked.”
“Yep.” Colin stretched out on his side next to him. “But it’s worth it. At least I think so.”
“I think it is. I’m loving both my tattoos so far.” Daniel mirrored Colin, turning onto his side and propping his head up on his hand. He rested the other on Colin’s waist. Then he laughed softly.
“What?”
He shook his head. “Just thinking. It’s so weird—like a month ago, you were the hot guy at the gym. And now . . .” He smiled.
“Now you’re the hot guy in my bed?”
Daniel blushed. “Something like that.” He sighed. “This is so weird.”
Colin’s stomach clenched. “Weird? How?”
“Not what we’re doing.” Daniel’s eyes lost focus. “Just me, I guess.”
“How so?”
“Well . . .” Daniel’s eyes closed. He ran a hand through his hair, rested it on Colin’s side again, and thought for a moment before he continued. “Like, I’m twenty-six. I’ve got a job. I’ve been to combat a couple of times. I’ve got a truck payment. I’m an adult, you know?” His eyes flicked up to meet Colin’s. “But sometimes I think gay me is still sixteen.”
“In a good way or a bad way?”
“Kind of a bad one, to be honest. Like . . .” He gnawed the inside of his cheek. “It’s almost like the side of me that was in the closet just sort of stopped at sixteen and stayed there until I came out. This side of me, he’s never had a chance to grow up, you know?”
Colin exhaled. “I never thought of that.”
“Neither did I.” Daniel absently played with a wrinkle in the comforter. “And, I’m not even totally out yet. I haven’t told my family. Just thinking about that makes me feel like a kid who’s afraid they’re going to find out I cut class or didn’t finish my homework. So it’s like my growth is stunted, and it might stay that way.”
Colin put a hand on Daniel’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “The fact that your folks won’t take it well doesn’t mean you’re stunted.”
“No, but what guy in his midtwenties wants to be this hung up on what his parents think?”
“One who’s had every reason to be afraid of their judgment.” Colin leaned in for a soft kiss. “It’s not childish to be afraid of losing your family.”
Daniel flinched. He swallowed hard, avoiding Colin’s eyes. “That’s exactly it, too. If I tell them . . .”
“Don’t worry about telling them now. Right now, you’re getting used to being you instead of being in the closet. You’re getting your feet under you.”
A cautious smile tugged at Daniel’s lips as he raised his gaze. “Getting my sea legs?”
“Yeah.” Colin returned the smile. “Exactly. Once you’ve got your sea legs, and you’re more confident with just being a gay man, then you can decide who gets to know about it.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Daniel shifted a little, like he couldn’t quite get comfortable. “You don’t mind letting me call the shots with everything we’re doing? I appreciate it, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want to stop you from doing things you want to do.”
“If I want something, I’ll let you know.” Colin paused. “Are you worried because we’re not doing a bunch of crazy things every night?”
“Uh . . . kind of? I guess?”
Colin smiled. “Honestly, contrary to what porn likes to show everyone, most people don’t swing from the chandeliers or change positions sixteen times in one session.” He touched Daniel’s arm. “I have nothing to complain about. Trust me.”
Daniel’s brow creased. He still didn’t seem convinced.
“I’m serious,” Colin said. “Sometimes just some kissing and a couple of handjobs is plenty for me. Hell, I’ve had entire relationships where we never had anal.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep. One of my exes didn’t like it. Another, we just, for whatever reason . . . didn’t. Not more than a few times, anyway.”
“Oh.” Daniel swallowed. “I mean, it just seems like there’s so much of it in porn, and . . .”
“There is because it’s visually hot. But porn is so far from real-life sex on so many levels.”
“And of course, it’s been my only real exposure to gay sex before now.”
“Well, it could be worse.” Colin absently trailed the backs of his fingers down Daniel’s arm. “And hey, now you have me. We can keep doing what we’re doing, or we can try almost anything that interests you.”
“Almost?”
“Within reason.”
Daniel chewed his lip. “Is there stuff I should be doing for you? I mean, I—”
“Relax.” Colin squeezed his shoulder. “If I want something, I’ll let you know.” He kissed Daniel’s temple. “And even if I do tell you I want something, you can still say no. Always.”
“Good to know.”
They’d had this conversation before, but Colin didn’t mind repeating it. Anything to calm Daniel’s nerves was fine by him.
Daniel cleared his throat as he watched his hand drift up Colin’s side. “While we’re on the subject, there is something else I’d like to do before we carve up my back again.”
You have my attention. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I’d . . .” As he often did when he was nervous, Daniel blushed.
“You can ask for anything,” Colin said. “Seriously. If you want to have me crawl around on the floor and bark like a dog, just ask for it.”
Daniel’s eyebrows shot up. “You’d . . .”
“I didn’t say I’d agree to do it. I just said it’s totally okay for you to ask for it.”
“Well shit.” Sighing dramatically, Daniel rolled his eyes. “There go my plans for my birthday.”
Colin threw his head back and laughed. “Uh-huh. But to be serious, you can ask for literally anything, and it’s fine. I might not agree to do it, but I won’t judge you for asking.”
“Okay.” Daniel exhaled slowly. “I mean, I guess it’s not a big thing, but I’d kind of like to switch.” He met Colin’s gaze. “I’d like to try being on top.”
Just the thought of having Daniel inside him, riding him, made Colin’s head spin.
Daniel gulped. “Do you, uh, mind bottoming?”
“Do I mind?” Colin grinned. “Oh dear God. I am the last man in the world who would mind being on the bottom.”
“I just thought . . . I mean, since you hadn’t suggested . . .”
Colin shook his head. “You were obviously enjoying it, and I sure as hell was, too.”
“So, you’ll let me?”
“Let you is a kind of a gentle way of saying yes, please fuck me.”
Daniel’s eyes widened.
Colin kissed him, then grinned. “And with that, good luck concentrating at work tomorrow.”
“I could say the same to you.”
“Hmm. Yeah. Good point. Too bad we can’t just call in sick.”
“The Navy kind of frowns on that.”
“Doesn’t work real well when you own your own business, either.”