Back Piece

by L. A. Witt

  “Did he . . . do something to you?” The bone-deep terror in Mom’s voice infuriated him and made him sick with guilt. Yeah, Colin had done something to him, but not what she thought.

  Just say it. You’re already in too far to turn around. No point in braking.

  He pulled in a deep breath and tried not to get sick. “Colin is my boyfriend.”

  His parents jumped, and they both stared at him. Neither moved nor made a sound for so long, Daniel was sure Skype had picked the worst possible moment to freeze.

  Then Mom sagged back against the sofa.

  Dad sighed heavily. “What are you saying, Daniel?”

  Daniel swept his tongue across his lips. “I’m saying I’m dating Colin. I have a boyfriend. That . . .” His heart threatened to explode just from shame and fear. “That I’m gay.”

  Mom covered her face. Dad grimaced like the words had been physically painful to hear.

  Before he lost his nerve, Daniel went on. “The thing is, I’ve been dating Colin for a while. And he’s”—gone—“the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I . . . I love him.” His own words thumped him in the chest. He hadn’t said them aloud before, and now that he had, God, yes, he meant them. He was in love with Colin.

  And he’s not here because you fucked up and made him be around them, and now—

  “You love him?” Mom spat. “Daniel, for heaven’s sake.” Her lips twisted like she was on the verge of vomiting. “What those people do—it’s not love. It’s perversion. It’s just—”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s not. It’s not even close.”

  “Don’t argue with your mother,” Dad snapped. “We raised you better than this, Daniel. You know what those people are, and—”

  “And you’re wrong,” Daniel ground out through gritted teeth. “About me and about everyone else who’s gay.”

  Both his parents winced.

  Dad shook his head slowly. “Whatever he did to you to make you think you’re gay, you’re—”

  “He didn’t make me think I’m gay, Dad. He just—” Daniel’s voice caught. He cleared his throat again. “He just confirmed what I’ve known for years.”

  “You’re not one of those people,” Dad growled. “You’re a good Christian, not a pervert who—”

  “If it’s just perversion, then why did I fall in love with him?”

  Because I did. So, so hard.

  God, Colin. I am so sorry.

  He forced back his emotions. After this, he’d make things right with Colin. At the very least, apologize for putting him in that position. Hope for some forgiveness and maybe more.

  But first . . .

  “Let me ask you this.” His voice was shaking, but he couldn’t steady it. “You’ve known me my whole life. You’ve never thought I was a soulless degenerate. So if that’s what gay people are, then what does that make me?” He tapped the center of his chest. “Am I one of those degenerate perverts?”

  Mom looked away and didn’t speak.

  Dad set his jaw and narrowed his eyes. “You tell me, Daniel.”

  “I’m not a pervert.” His defense sounded so fucking weak and pitiful. “I’m just a guy who fell in love with another guy.”

  “No son of mine is—”

  Daniel ended the call before his dad could finish the thought. He didn’t want to hear the rest, especially since he already knew it by heart, and he was pretty sure he’d be in tears if this continued.

  Pressing his phone against his forehead, he closed his stinging eyes. So that was it. The truth was out. It hadn’t been taken well, and the whole family was probably in utter chaos. Or would be soon. In fact, he had no doubt his phone would start blowing up as soon as his parents had spread the word.

  To be safe, he shut off his phone. He couldn’t handle horrified texts and calls right now. In fact, he was half tempted to toss the thing off the pier. Let the crabs answer it.

  “Moore?” Reuben’s voice startled him. Daniel turned around to see his coworker not ten feet away. How long had he been standing there? He was halfway through a cigarette, but he could’ve just walked up to Daniel right then. Had he heard the whole thing?

  Reuben cocked his head. “You okay, man?”

  No. I am nowhere near okay right now.

  “I’m . . .” Daniel swiped at his eyes because that was inconspicuous. “Just, uh . . .”

  Reuben stepped closer and lowered his voice. “Did you just come out to your folks?”

  Daniel cringed. Reuben must’ve been there for a while. “Yeah. I did.”

  “Didn’t go so good?”

  “You could say that.” He took his car keys out of his pocket. “I, uh, need to get out of here. There’s something I need to take care of. Off base.”

  “You gonna put on your civvies?”

  Daniel glanced down. He was still wearing his blue camouflage utilities, which he technically wasn’t supposed to wear out in town. But changing meant going back aboard, and he didn’t want to wait another minute. “Nah, I’m good.”

  Reuben shrugged. “Okay, man. Just, you know, if you need anything, you know where to find us. We’ve got your back.”

  “I know. Thanks.”

  With that, he started toward the parking lot. And all the way up the pier, and out to his truck, he hoped like hell that Colin was at Skin Deep, Inc.

  Chapter 31

  After he’d wrapped up with a walk-in client, Colin checked his phone again. The message had been read, but there was no response.

  His shoulders dropped. Sighing, he shoved the phone back in his pocket. Well, he’d tried. Maybe his therapist would have some words of wisdom tomorrow.

  At least he was physically feeling a little better. Still weak and sluggish, but less like he was going to pass out. He’d only been two or three days into virtually starving himself, and Amanda had put a stop to that in a hurry. One meal wouldn’t put him back on track enough to endure a proper workout, but at least his energy was slowly coming back and his head didn’t hurt anymore.

  And Shane had texted him half an hour or so ago. Amanda must’ve tipped him off, because suddenly he wanted to cook dinner and have a movie marathon. Colin was about 98 percent sure that was a ploy to not only make him eat, but keep him from sneaking off and throwing up what he’d eaten.

  He was embarrassed and ashamed, but grateful as fuck, too. Where he’d be without his brother and trainer, he didn’t even want to think about.

  Fuck, I’m such a wreck.

  Maybe it’s just as well Daniel didn’t respond.

  He definitely doesn’t need to be saddled with—

  Movement outside the shop’s front door caught his eye, and when he turned his head, his jaw dropped.

  Oh God. He’s here.

  For a split second, he wondered if this was just another truck that looked like Daniel’s, but when the door opened, it was Daniel who stepped out. Was the gym out of parking spaces? Sometimes people parked down here if those were full.

  No. No, he was coming this way.

  Up to the door.

  Hand on the door.

  Opening the door.

  Daniel stepped inside, and their eyes locked.

  Oh. Shit.

  “Hey, um.” Daniel gulped and cautiously came toward the counter where Colin was standing. “Can we talk for a few minutes?”

  “Uh. Yeah. Why don’t we . . .” Colin glanced around the shop. Pete and Matt were both with clients, and the buzzing needles would drown out most conversation, but this needed some privacy. “Hey guys, I’m stepping out for a second.”

  “No problem,” Pete called out without looking up.

  Colin gestured for Daniel to follow him, and he led him outside to the parking lot behind the building. And here, alone, they faced each other.

  Sort of.

  Eye contact was fleeting. Sometimes Daniel broke it. Sometimes Colin did.

  Colin couldn’t take the awkward silence though. And he had initiated this, after all. “So, I assume y
ou got my text.”

  “Your—” Daniel stiffened, and his cheeks colored as they often did. “Shit. I . . . I got it, but I hadn’t even had a chance to read it.”

  “You didn’t? Then why . . .”

  “Because I needed to see you. And it couldn’t wait.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Colin shifted his weight. “So, what’s up?”

  Daniel took a deep breath. “I told my parents you’re my boyfriend.”

  “You did what?”

  Daniel pushed his shoulders back and set his jaw. “I came out to my family. I told them about us.” He paused. “I mean, okay, we broke up. I didn’t tell them that part. But I—”

  “But you told them you’re gay.”

  “Yeah. I told them everything.”

  Colin stared at him. “How did they take it?”

  The wince answered his question more than any words could have.

  “Daniel.” Colin shook his head. “I am so sorry.”

  “No, you don’t need to be,” Daniel said. “I’m sorry I dragged you into the middle of that shit. I should’ve told them a long time ago, and just gotten it over with. I just didn’t want to lose my family, you know?”

  Colin flinched. “That was the last thing I wanted you to do.”

  “I know. I get that. I mean, yeah. They’re the people who told me bedtime stories when I was little and went to my games when I was a teenager and came to my graduation from boot camp. But they’re still the same people who chanted slurs at people like me. I’m tired of making excuses for them, and pretending they love me unconditionally. If they did, I could’ve told them I was gay a long time ago.” Daniel swallowed hard. “But I’ve never had to hide anything from you. That kind of makes the choice between them and you a no-brainer.”

  “But . . . Daniel.” Colin shook his head. “They’re your family.”

  “Yeah, so they should love me unconditionally. But they don’t. Or if that’s what unconditional love is, then I don’t want it. I sure as shit don’t want it more than I want this.” He gestured at himself, then at Colin. “I’ve lived my entire life around keeping a closet door between my parents and me. I planned my career so I could get away from them. I’ve fed them bullshit about girlfriends so they’d stay off my back.” His features tightened like it was painful to even look at Colin. “I lied to them about you.” Shaking his head slowly, he whispered, “I can’t do that.”

  Colin’s lips parted. “You’re really throwing a monkey wrench into your relationship with your family? Over me?”

  “Yes,” he said without hesitation. “It’s done. It’s thrown. I can’t pretend to be what they want me to be anymore.” Daniel exhaled. “Now I finally get to be me. When I’m with you, it’s not just that I can be gay, I can be me. I was stupid if I thought I could go back in the closet alone after being out of it with you.”

  “But we’d already split up,” Colin said.

  “I know. And if that’s how it needs to stay, then . . .” Daniel avoided his gaze for a moment. “Then I don’t know what to say. I needed to do it, and I should’ve done it before I dragged you into the middle of it. So, I mostly wanted to say I’m sorry.”

  Colin shook his head. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. You’re . . . God, you’re a stronger man than I am. I don’t think I could’ve faced them like that.”

  “If you’d spent twenty-six years hiding from them, you might’ve surprised yourself.”

  “Maybe.”

  “And if coming out to them meant knocking down a wall between someone you’ve been missing as much as I’ve been missing you . . .”

  The words slammed right into Colin’s chest. “You do know being with somebody like me is not going to be easy.”

  “You think it’ll be easy being with me? With deployments and duty schedules and all that shit?”

  Colin swallowed.

  “I’m not here for easy,” Daniel went on. “I’m here for you. And if you can handle all the bullshit that comes with being with me, you better believe I can handle whatever comes with being with you.”

  Colin could barely find enough air, but he managed to whisper, “I can’t imagine anything that would keep me from wanting to be with you.”

  “Then you understand how I feel about you.”

  Colin’s eyes stung. “I just don’t get why. Why me?”

  “I could ask you the same thing.”

  “I asked you first.”

  Chewing his lip, Daniel stared at the concrete between them. For the longest time, he was silent, but then he finally said, “Because I love you.”

  Colin’s heart jumped into his throat. “But you—”

  “Don’t try to tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about because I don’t have experience. Because I’ve already tried to tell myself that, and when I try to convince myself I’m just infatuated or this is just new, I take one look at you and can’t even breathe.” He swallowed. “Even if this isn’t actually what it’s like to be in love, you can’t tell me we’re not well on our way.”

  Colin’s mouth went dry. He wanted to insist that Daniel was just infatuated, that he was clinging to this because it was his first time being intimate with someone. The first was always the hardest to let go of, right?

  But nothing made it past the tip of his tongue because it was all bullshit.

  Daniel sighed heavily and threw up his hands. In a soft voice, he said, “That’s all I’ve got. If you want me to go, then I’ll understand. And I’ll go. But I needed you to hear it.”

  “I’ve never wanted you to go,” Colin stepped closer. “Never.”

  “But you told me—”

  “Yeah. I did.” Colin’s shoulders slumped. “Because I don’t want you getting hurt because of me.”

  “So you hurt me yourself?” The accusation was faint, but it was there.

  Colin dropped his gaze. “I’m sorry. I . . . God, I didn’t want to. And watching you go was horrible. But I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “And now the problem is solved. My parents know. They can—”

  “It’s not just them.” Colin struggled to speak much louder than a whisper. “You deserve better than me, Daniel. I mean, look at me.” He gestured at himself. “I’m so fucked up, I need a team of professionals just to make sure I don’t starve myself to death or kill myself at the gym. I want you to be happy. Not . . .” He avoided Daniel’s eyes. “Not stuck with this shit.”

  “I’m not stuck with anything,” Daniel said softly. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” He paused. “But if you want me to leave—”

  “No, I don’t want you to leave.” Colin struggled to keep his voice even. “The only thing I want less than that is to hurt you. And I guess . . . I guess I was afraid I was setting you up to get hurt. I’m scared to death of you getting hurt because of me.” He forced back the lump in his throat and made himself look in Daniel’s eyes. “I was also scared of what was happening to me. Mentally. And for some fucked-up reason, I thought being away from you was the solution.” He paused, and his voice definitely shook as he added, “I’m sorry for thinking for even one second that I should be anywhere other than with you.”

  “That’s the only place I want to be, too,” Daniel whispered.

  “And for the record, when I texted you, it was because that was exactly what I needed to say. I would never tell you I need you or that my mental health depends on us staying together. I would never put that kind of pressure on you.” He took a deep breath. “What I am saying is that I miss you. And I want to be with you. And even though I can’t guarantee things will be perfect, or that I’ll be on an even keel from here on out . . .” His voice wavered, and he cleared his throat again. “The bottom line is I love you, Daniel. I can’t give you a perfect relationship, but you better believe I’ll try.”

  Daniel stepped closer, and a smile slowly pulled up the corners of his mouth. “I love you, too.”

  Colin touched Daniel’s face, disbelieving they were
this close again. “Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into?”

  “Yeah.” Daniel drew him closer, and just before their lips met, he whispered, “I do.”

  Chapter 32

  They couldn’t get out of their clothes and into Colin’s bed fast enough. Daniel had barely kicked off his briefs before Colin grabbed him and dragged him down onto the mattress. He didn’t protest at all. Ever since Colin had ended things, Daniel hadn’t been in the mood to even think about getting hard, but he was more than making up for it now. After too long without Colin and sex and sanity and Colin, he had every intention of keeping this going until neither of them could move. And even then, stopping was questionable.

  Colin pushed his hand between their bodies and closed his fingers around Daniel’s dick. Daniel groaned. His body moved of its own volition, thrusting into Colin’s tight fist.

  “Oh my God,” Daniel murmured between kisses. “Love the way . . . that feels.”

  “That’s the idea.” Colin guided Daniel’s hand down, and Daniel didn’t need any encouragement. One stroke, and Colin rewarded him with a back-arching shiver and a gasp. They rocked against each other, kissing breathlessly as they stroked each other’s hard cocks. In seconds, Daniel was on the brink. From feeling nothing for days to oh shit yes in a matter of seconds. And it didn’t hurt that Colin’s hand was magic. He knew just when and where to squeeze, when to add a hint of a twist, and Daniel’s breath got lost in his throat as his whole body tensed with his quickly building climax.

  “N-not gonna . . . last . . .” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh God . . .”

  “Don’t hold back.” Colin panted. “I’m gonna come, too, and then we’re gonna do it all over again and—”

  “Fuck!” The force of Daniel’s orgasm jerked his entire body, and a heartbeat later, Colin came, too, and they kept moaning and trembling and pumping each other’s semen-slicked cocks until first Daniel, then Colin, collapsed.

  “Holy shit,” Colin slurred.

  “Uh-huh.” Daniel kissed him, and they separated just long enough to wipe the semen off their hands and stomachs. Before the tissues had even landed in the wastebasket, Colin pulled Daniel down on top of him, and they kept right on kissing.