Unlovable

by Sherry Gammon

  I went downstairs as another loud crack of thunder shook the house, taking me by surprise. “Calm down, Mags, you’re over reacting, it’s just thunder.” I was afraid of having another freak out. A twinge of pain gripped me as I remembered my mom, and I pushed it away. I tried not to do so much pushing away of my emotions per advice given at the two Ala-teen meetings Seth and I had gone to, but it was still second nature to me. I promised myself a good cry after I warmed up.

  “The security system is on, and there is someone watching the house.” I peeked outside at the patrol car to make sure. After making up some toast, I found one of Seth's cooking magazines and curled up into a chair to read. Thanks to the Nyquil, I began nodding off almost immediately.

  I was awakened by a terrible howling that sounded so much like Fluffy, I ran over to the window to check. Horrified, I saw him lying on the ground being pounded on by the storm. My heart sank into my stomach.

  My first instinct was to run and grab him, but Seth and Booker’s warnings screamed out in my head. My cell phone! I pulled it from my pocket and called Seth. He answered on the first ring. “Is everything okay?” His voice was tight.

  “Yes, Fluffy’s outside on the sidewalk, and I think he’s hurt. I need to go out and get him.”

  “I don’t know Maggie, how did he get clear over to my house? Check and make sure the agent is out front still.”

  “He is, I looked already. Please, Seth, Fluffy’s in pain.”

  “Be careful! Look around before you go out there, I’ll call dispatch, and they'll let give the agent the heads up.”

  I double-checked to make sure the agent was still there. I couldn’t tell if it was a he or a she with the rain coming down as hard as it was, but there was definitely someone sitting in the car. After I grab Fluffy, I’ll check to see if they want some hot chocolate, it's nasty out.

  I pulled on my ugly shoes, took an umbrella, and quickly punched in the code before running outside. I waved at the cop car, noting it was a man. He didn’t wave back, he was definitely not one of the more friendly cops Seth had watching me.

  “Fluffy,” I said, squatted down next to him and stroking his fur. He didn’t move nor did his eyes open. I could see his chest raising and falling in short pants as he laid there whimpering. Setting the umbrella aside, I slipped my hand underneath him and found blood. His underside had a huge gash down the middle. I clutched him to my breast. “No! Please, no!”

  “Hello, girlie, sorry ’bout the mutt. I had to do something drastic to get you to turn off that intense security system.” Alan stood next to me, dressed in lime-green cargo pants, with a matching raincoat. He had a large duffle bag strapped to his back and his pearl-handled knife in his hand.

  I looked at the knife and thought of all the horrible slasher movies Zack had dragged me to last Halloween. In every movie, without fail, the stupid girl put herself into dangerous situations, situations the entire audience knew would lead to her demise, and it always did. I was that stupid girl. I should have smelled this coming a mile away.

  The agent! I looked over at the car, and there he sat, sound asleep, with his head back against the headrest. I started to scream, praying he wasn’t a deep sleeper.

  Alan laughed, “He can’t help you, he’s dead. My guess is he regrets falling asleep on the job right about now.” He casually wiped blood from the blade onto his jacket and threw his head back in laughter. My body convulsed with revulsion.

  Alan seized Fluffy by the head and ripped him from my arms, looking cockeyed at him. “Ten minutes left at most.” He turned and hurled the dog carelessly across the yard. Fluffy’s poor body flopped around like a lifeless ragdoll. “I like dogs too, oh, well.” I sprang up to run, only Alan seized a handful of my hair and yanked me back.

  “I don’t think so, girlie, we’re going inside.” His face contorted into a sadistic grin. I tried screaming, but Alan slapped a hand over my mouth, dragging me toward the house. “Save your energy for later,” he moaned in my ear.

  I clawed at his hand, twisting around franticly trying to break free, but my efforts were fruitless. He kicked the door shut and slammed me into the black granite counter in the kitchen. The blow cut into my ribs, and I doubled over, unable to catch my breath.

  He sneered while drawing in the room. “Nice digs your pig MET agent’s got here, he must be on the take.” He snagged the kitchen towel, wiped the rain from off his face, and tossed the duffle bag onto the counter next to the fridge. It landed with a thud. “Too bad I got to kill him, it’d be kinda sweet to have him live here with the memories of your hacked up body scattered everywhere. An arm in the cupboard, a toe in his morning glass of juice.” He barked out a laugh, then his face went dark. “But since I'm the only Dreser brother left, time is no longer a luxury I have.”

  Slipping lifelessly to the floor, I pressed my wet face to the cool tile and tried desperately to come up with a plan. Somehow, I had to warn Seth.

  He jerked my arm. “Get up,” he demanded. “You don’t honestly think I’m going to kill you without a fight, do you? Oh, no! I want to hear you scream and beg. And believe me, you will beg.”

  I remained liquid, sinking back to the floor. If he was going to kill me, I wasn’t going to help him in the least. He took his foot and embedded it into my back. Pulling back, I braced for the blow, but it didn’t come.

  “No, I think I’ll wait until your boyfriend gets back to kill you.” He released me and reached into his back pocket, pulling out five yellow cable ties

  “Cable ties, don’t leave home without ’em,” he paraphrased with a hard laugh. “I’m going to tie him up, so he can watch me kill you, inch, by screaming inch. Then I’ll take him apart. Neither of you will die until I’m through. And it’s gonna to be a long time till I’m through.

  “Now, since we have some time to kill, get up and fix me some food, I haven’t eaten all day, and don’t try put anything deadly into it, you’ll be tasting everything first.” He plopped down on a bar stool to watch me.

  I walked robotically over to the fridge, and took out the leftover stroganoff I’d made two weeks ago. With any luck, he’d get food poisoning. I heated it in the microwave before setting the plate down in front of him.

  “You first,” he said, pointing to the stroganoff. I took only a small bite, afraid I’d choke on anything bigger. Satisfied, he picked up the fork and shoveled half of it into his mouth.

  I added some stale cookies to the meal in an effort to stretch out the time a little longer. When I returned to the table with a glass of milk, the stroganoff was gone. My hand shook as I placed the glass down on the table.

  “What’s this?” he asked, wrinkling his nose.

  “Milk.”

  “I know that, smart mouth. Don’t ya got any beer?”

  I shook my head. He picked up the glass and inhaled half its contents in one gulp.

  “Get over here.” He seized my wrist and pulled me onto his lap. “Man alive, you’re hot!” He began fondling my neck with his slimy mouth. “Your lips are driving me insane,” he said before pulling my head in for a kiss.

  I don’t think so!

  Before his mouth touched mine, I reached out and accidentally knocked the rest of the milk in his lap. “You freakin’ moron!” Shoving me out of the way, he began wiping the milk off his pants with his hands.

  “Sorry, I’ll get a wet towel, otherwise it will smell sour when it dries.” I ran over to the sink, pretending to search for a towel, but slowly opened the drawer with the gun instead. It was the only option I could think of.

  You can do this, Mags. In theory, the idea sounded great, only with my poor aim, my very poor aim, the gun ought to be my last resort.

  Maybe I could find a way to knock him out. If I hit him with one of Seth’s cast iron pans, that would do it, but with him watching, there was no way I could grab it without him seeing me. Besides, what if I didn’t hit him hard enough?

  That brought me back to the gun. I was fairly close to him, I c
ouldn’t possibly miss at this range, could I?

  As Alan came around the bar, I quickly shut the gun drawer and handed him a clean towel. He dribbled some water on one end and rubbed at the spill on his pants. Before I could try for the gun again, someone began pounding on the back door. It was Zack.

  Alan groaned as he peered in at us through the glass, it was clear he didn’t care much for Zack either. The gun was definitely not an option anymore, there was no way I’d be lucky enough to shoot them both.

  This was just getting better and better!

  Maybe I could convince Zack to help me. Yeah, right. I knew Zack well enough to know that wasn’t going to happen… unless there was something in it for him. He wanted me; I could promise him me, of course, I would definitely renege later. I prayed Zack had a speck of humanity left in him as I went for the door.

  “I’ll let him in,” I said a little too eagerly.

  “Think he’ll go away if we ignore him?” Alan shoved me back into the kitchen on his way to the door.

  I had to stay in control, if Zack would distract Alan, I could do this. I’d run to the mall where there’d be too many people for him to grab me. Maybe Zack would even let me borrow his car.

  Okay, now this was turning into a full-fledged fantasy.

  I had to let Seth know what was happening. Pretending to sneeze, I turned around, slipped my hands into the pocket of the hoodie, and grabbed my cell. Since I didn’t have much time, I decided to text the numbers 9-1-1 to him, though my hands were shaking do badly I had to do it twice before sending it.

  What if he decided to call and see what was wrong? I immediately shut the phone off, if that didn’t send up a red flag, nothing would. All this raced through my mind before Alan reached the back door.

  Why couldn’t I think this fast in math class?

  “Hello, Maggot, long time no see,” Zack sneered. Alan loped across the room and began looking out the front windows.

  “Please, please help me,” I whispered. “He’s going to kill me. If you could distract him long enough for me to get outside and down the road, I’ll do anything in return. Anything.” I briefly toyed with idea of giving him a short kiss to help sway him, but decided throwing up wouldn’t help my cause.

  “Sure thing, Maggot, I’ll even let you borrow my car.” He smiled widely, dangling the keys in the air just out of my reach. “After all, you’ve done so much for me. She wants me to help her escape, Alan. What do you think, should I?” My heart leaped into my throat at Zack’s betrayal. My hopes of surviving were rapidly depleting.

  Alan cut the space between us, grabbed my shirt, and pitched me across the room. “No one is going to help you.” My body landed heavily, sliding across the kitchen floor, and stopping only when my rib cage collided with the island cabinet. I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my already tender side.

  “Why are you here, Zack, You’re supposed to be keeping an eye on Seth?” Alan resumed his pacing from window to window.

  “Relax, Big Guy, he’s not even halfway through delivering his little lunches. We got a good hour before he’s done.” Zack spoke calmly, meanwhile his hands were shaking. I noticed how pale he was, and how much weight he had lost since I’d last seen him.

  Zack was on heroin, and I was as good as dead!

  He walked over and yanked me upright by my hair. With my ribs hurt too badly to stand erect, I hunched over to one side to relieve the pain. He ran his perpetually sweaty hands over my face and smiled a twisted sick grin.

  “Why are you helping him, he’s a killer,” I said, buckling over in pain. Alan’s head snapped in my direction.

  “I HAVE A RIGHT TO DEFEND MY FAMILY!” Spittle flew from his mouth as he darted toward me. I cringed back.

  “Hold on there, Alan,” Zack said boldly. “You said if I helped you to get in here, I could have first dibs on her before you killed her.” He wiped his nose on his sleeve and continued.

  “I’m the one who told you about the stupid little dog she loves so much, and I tracked it down for you. I’m the one who’s been watching the house for the past week, like you asked, learning Seth’s routine. Didn’t I warn you there’d be an agent that you’d have to take care of before you could get inside? And who called to let you know she was here alone?”

  Alan didn’t answer, instead he stomped back over to a window, all the while his eyes stayed fixed on me. Zack beamed proudly, as if his actions were a real accomplishment.

  “Get a move on, her cop boyfriend will be back soon, and I need to catch him unprepared. Make sure you don’t kill her when you’re done either. I have a few of my own plans for her,” he leered.

  “I can help you, I’ll have her after we kill Seth,” Zack said, hopefully. “If you can just give me a little stuff to keep me tied over until we’re done.” He began clawing at his arms.

  “Zack, please don’t do this,” I whispered. “This guy’s going to kill you when he’s done using you. Seth can help get you into a treatment cen—”

  “SHUT UP!” Zack’s hand ripped across my face, sending me to the floor again. A warm trickle of blood ran down my lip, I wiped it away. He dropped down on his knees and shoved his face into mine, glaring at me as if I were some foul creature, but despite all his bravado, he failed to hide the trepidation in his eyes. He was worried that I was right.

  “Tell her, Alan, tell her she’s a liar.” When Alan didn’t answer, Zack continued his demand. “Tell her you’re not going to kill me!” The crack in his disposition widened. He grabbed my hair and pulled me back up onto my feet, shoving me hard against the counter. This time I heard my ribs snap. A sharp pain cut through me, it was growing harder to breathe without sending agonizing pain throughout my insides. Alan walked over and put his hand on Zack’s upper back.

  “My dear boy, you are way too much work.” He slid his thumb around to the front of Zack’s neck, and with one swift motion, began crushing his airway. Zack reached out to me, gasping for air.

  “Stop it!”

  “Have it your way, girlie,” Alan said casually. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his knife, and shoved it into Zack’s chest right over his heart, then callously dropped Zack’s dead body to the floor.

  “Zack!” Before I could reach his lifeless form, Alan grabbed my face and lifted me onto my tiptoes; my lungs battered begged for air. Dragging his slimy mouth along my neck he muttered, “I’ve waited so long to have you, I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to control myself as long as I’d hoped.”

  He then stopped and pinched his eyes shut before dropping me back to the ground. “No, Alan, you can wait a bit longer for your revenge,” he counseled himself while stroking my hair. “But maybe a little taste wouldn’t hurt.” He jerked my face to his, dropping his foul lips to mine.

  Something inside me snapped. If I was going to die, I was going to go out fighting, so fight I did. I raked my fingers over his face, digging up flesh, while forcing my thumbs into his eyes, I brought my leg up between his, hard, crushing his groin.

  He stumbled and fell on top of me, pinning my battered body to the ground. His weight added unwanted pressure to my already tender ribs, and I screamed out.

  However, Alan’s screams overshadowed mine; he was in serious pain. I began scratching, biting, and punching every inch of him I could make purchase with, holding nothing back. Still reeling from my well-placed knee, he spewed out a list of profanities a mile long as I broke free and forced my broken body across the kitchen floor toward the gun. I was almost to the drawer, when, from his prostate position, he hooked my foot, dragging me back several feet.

  I looked back at his sweaty face, now scarred and bleeding thanks to my fingernails as he leered at me. “You. Will. Pay. For. That.” Reaching into a pocket by his left knee, he pulled out a syringe. “Let’s see how well you do with a little Eightball coursing through your veins!” He bit the cap off the needle with his teeth.

  I remembered Seth telling me about Eightball a few days ago. It was a mixture of hero
in and crack. As if one wasn’t enough! “Over my dead body,” I said.

  “Oh, not yet, girlie, but it will take some of the fight out of ya!”

  With every bit of strengthen I had left in me, I jerked my left foot free and sent it crashing into his face. He rolled away moaning as blood splattered everywhere.

  Panting to keep my pain down to a minimum, I inched back over to the cupboard and reached into the secret compartment. Grabbing the cold steel gun, I contorted my battered body sideways to find Alan leaning against the bar, mopping up the blood from his face with his sleeve.

  “It’s a good thing I love a fight, otherwise you’d be dead by now.” He took a step toward me, and I held up the gun, it shook violently in my hand. “Forget it, girlie, Zack’s already told me you can’t hit the broadside of a barn with a cow.” His head rolled back in laughter.

  “I guess Zack made two mistakes today.” Before I could pull the trigger, a figure passed the window, drawing my attention away from Alan long enough for him to kick the gun from my hand. It went sliding across the kitchen floor.

  “It seems your boyfriend’s back, so I guess I’ll be changing my plans a little. Too bad, this was just getting interesting.” Dropping the syringe onto the counter, he quickly tugged open his canvas bag and pulled out what looked to be an extra-large handgun. He backed up to the door, swiping at the blood still teeming down from his nose as he waited for Seth to come inside.

  Oh, no! It is not going down like this!

  “Seth!” I screamed as the door opened. “He has a gun!”

  The force of the door had Alan flying back to the wall. Regrettably, he was able to maintain his balance, all the while holding onto the gun.

  “You move, and I kill your little girlfriend,” Alan said, pointing the gun at me. Seth stood motionless in the doorway.

  “Let her go, and you’ll be allowed to live.”