by Lee, Miranda
‘Just love him, Leah. There’s no man on earth who could resist a girl like you loving him.’
‘Oh, Daddy,’ she suddenly sobbed on the other end of the line. ‘I do so love him. It’s nothing like I felt for Carl. I…I…’
‘There, there, child,’ he soothed. ‘Everything will be fine. You’ll see.’
‘No, it won’t,’ she cried, then sniffed. ‘I have to go. Jason will be out of the bathroom soon. I probably won’t be back today. I’ll call you later in the week,’ she said, and hung up.
Leah lay facedown on the bed whilst she listened to the shower running and Jason whistling. He was happy and she was crying.
That was because he was getting what he wanted and she never would.
The time to get out of this relationship is now, Leah. Not in a few weeks, or a few months. Now, before it goes any further.
But she knew she didn’t have the courage to do that. How could she possibly say, ‘Sorry, Jason,’ when he came out of that bathroom, ‘but I’ve fallen in love with you and you’re never going to love me back, so I’ve decided to call it a day.’
Impossible.
No, she’d smile and go along with what he wanted today. And every other day till he called it quits. That was her destiny now.
No, that’s your choice, her brain reminded her.
Maybe. But does love ever really have a choice? And if it does, is that choice ever going to be the right one?
The bathroom door opened, and a dripping wet Jason emerged in a cloud of steam, a white towel slung low around his hips.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ he said, one hand lifting to fingercomb his hair back from his forehead.
‘Yes?’ Leah propped her chin up on her hands and did her best to look nonchalant.
‘About your resigning…’
‘What about my resigning,’ she repeated warily. She hoped he wasn’t going to try to talk her out of that again!
‘I think it’s a good idea. I could never keep my mind on the job with you around. I’d be wanting to find excuses to get you alone all the time. But you’ll have to show up tomorrow. It’ll take Bob a day or two to line up a temp.’
‘Mandy could do the job. She fills in for me occasionally.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Quite sure.’
‘Best you still come in tomorrow.’ He spun round and was about to walk back into the bathroom when he stopped and turned back again. ‘Did you ring your father?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’ll bet he wasn’t at all shocked.’
‘You’re quite right, Jason,’ she returned coolly. ‘He wasn’t.’
‘See? You were worried for nothing.’
‘I told him about my two new jobs.’
‘Two new jobs?’
‘Yes. Model and mistress.’
‘For pity’s sake, Leah.’ Jason scowled. ‘You are not my mistress. You’ll have your father thinking I’m a worse cad than that creep you were married to. You’re my girlfriend.’
‘One in a long line.’
‘That’s not true,’ he denied, his expression serious. ‘Okay, so I had a lot of girlfriends in my younger days. But you are only the second girlfriend I’ve had since my wife died.’
And the first one I’ve really cared about, Jason could have added. But didn’t.
Leah sat up abruptly. ‘You’re kidding me.’
‘Not at all. I didn’t date for four years after Karen’s death. I just didn’t want to. But about six months ago I met someone at a party, and I realised my celibate days were over.’
‘And that was the girlfriend you broke up with recently?’
‘Yes, Hilary. She was a nice enough woman, but she wanted marriage. I’d told her right from the start that I wouldn’t marry again, so I felt I had no choice but to break it off. She was somewhat…upset. That’s why I was worried when I met you. I didn’t want to hurt anyone else. But you don’t want to get married again, either, so everything’s okay. Look, I still have to shave,’ he added, rubbing his stubbly chin. ‘You could pop in the shower while I’m doing that, if you like.’
‘Oh, no, no, no,’ Leah said, wagging an index finger at him. ‘I’m not falling for that little trick. I’ll wait till you’re finished. I’d like to shower in peace, then get dressed and go home.’
‘Wearing what, pray tell? Your panties are history and that little black number is not quite the thing for day wear.’
‘Surely you have something in your wardrobe I can put on.’
‘Not a thing,’ he said blithely.
‘Then you’ll have to go out and buy me something.’
‘You told me I wasn’t to buy you anything except flowers and chocolates.’
‘Oh, truly! You’re being deliberately difficult. I have to go home eventually.’
‘You’ll just have to stay here till tonight, won’t you? And then you can comfortably wear your black dress home in my car. Without panties, of course.
But no one will know that.’
‘You will.’
His grin was wicked. ‘Yes, ma’am. I sure will.’
Chapter 15
‘You? And Jason ?’
Leah could not help smiling at Trish’s surprise. Clearly, she’d done a good job last week of not betraying how attractive she’d found their new boss.
‘Yes,’ she confirmed. ‘Me and Jason.’
The two girls were having morning tea together in the canteen, with Leah feeling she had to explain to Trish what was behind her resignation.
‘Oh, you lucky thing!’ Trish exclaimed. ‘I’ll bet he’s fabulous in bed. No, you don’t have to answer that. But I can see by the look on your face that he is.
So, is it serious already? Is that why you’re resigning?’
‘Partly,’ Leah said, and told Trish about Jason wanting her to be in his new advertising campaign.
‘I wouldn’t be able to keep on working here, Trish, especially once it becomes known I’m going out with the boss. You know what it’d be like. All the girls would talk. So would the reps. There’d be gossip and jealousy and accusations of favouritism.’
‘Yeah. There was a bit of that going on when I was sleeping with Jim. Speaking of Jim, I think he’s going to be asked to leave.’
‘It wouldn’t surprise me.’
‘Bob said Jason was on to him.’
‘Goodness, I forgot you went out with Bob on Friday night. How did that go?’
‘Pretty good. It’s not love at first sight, but he’s a really nice man. We’re going out again soon.’
‘I’m glad, Trish. Jim was a total waste of your time for a girl who wants to get married and have children.’
‘You’re dead right. And let’s face it, most of us girls do.’
‘Yes,’ Leah said with what was perhaps a too-wistful sigh.
Trish gave her a sharp look. ‘Is there something wrong, Leah? You sounded…sad, just then.’
‘No, no, I’m just tired.’
‘Too much sex,’ Trish said with a knowing little laugh.
‘Could be.’
‘Lucky you. That’s how Jim got me in, you know. He’s very good at it. Sex, that is. There again, he’s certainly had enough practice,’ she added tartly. ‘Did you know he was having it off with Shelley as well?’
‘Er…yes,’ Leah admitted. ‘I’m sorry, Trish. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you.’
Trish sighed. ‘Men like that should be castrated. You’re lucky, finding someone like Jason.’
‘He’s not perfect, Trish.’
‘How can you say that? He’s utterly gorgeous and rich and nice and rich and utterly gorgeous! What’s not perfect about him?’ she asked with a frown.
‘He doesn’t want to get married again.’
‘Oh. Oh, I see. Oh, that’s too bad.’
‘Yes.’ Speaking the truth out loud had a very depressing effect on Leah.
‘Maybe you should take your own advice then, Leah, and not waste your time on
some man who isn’t going to give you what you want.’
‘I fully agree with you. But the problem is…I love him. A lot.’
‘Maybe he’ll change his mind. If anyone could make a man change his mind, it’s you.’
Leah smiled. ‘That’s a lovely thing to say.’
‘You’re a lovely person.’
Leah knew she had to change the subject. Quickly.
‘Do you think Mandy can do my job?’
‘She’s a bit young. Jason asked me that first thing this morning and I advised him to stay with a temp for a while. It won’t do Mandy any harm to wait a bit.’
‘Yes, I think that’s wise.’
‘You’re sounding like you won’t be staying much longer.’
‘No, no, I won’t be. Just a day or two.’
‘We’re going to miss you. I’m going to miss you.’
‘We can still go out occasionally together.’
Trish’s smile was wry. ‘Not if you’re going to be dating the boss. Being a billionaire’s girlfriend sounds like a full-time after-hours job.’
Leah shook her head. ‘It might not be a permanent job.’
Trish reached across the table to touch Leah gently on the wrist. ‘You’ve fallen very hard for him, haven’t you?’
Leah was to think about that expression for the rest of the day.
Fallen hard.
It sounded like she’d had an accident; that she’d already hurt herself. Which, in a way, she had.
For what good could come of entering a relationship that was doomed from the start? How was she going to survive it?
At four-thirty, Leah tidied her desk and left the office. Jason had wanted her to go home to his place, but she’d insisted on returning to her own apartment at Gladesville on week nights. She’d compromised by suggesting she cook him dinner.
Then, if he wanted to, he could stay the night.
He wanted to. Naturally.
On the way home, she stopped at the local shopping centre and picked up the ingredients for dinner. Then she dropped into the news agency and bought herself a diary. Not a large one. Something that she could carry with her and write in when the stress of pretending became too much, because that was what her life was going to be most of the time from now on.
Pretending.
But she would not pretend in her diary. There, she would put down her real thoughts and feelings. She would say how much she loved Jason. She would express her hopes for the future, no matter how futile they were. She would give voice to her dreams. And her secret desires.
Seven o’clock saw her dressed casually in blue cotton slacks and a blue-and-white striped blouse. Her hair was up in a casual ponytail, her makeup and perfume freshened. A bottle of wine was chilling in the fridge and a Japanese chicken curry was simmering in her electric frypan.
She’d written a few lines in her diary earlier, bringing some release to her anxiety.
The doorbell rang right on time. Jason was, it seemed, a punctual man. Either that, or an eager one.
Leah experienced a mixture of excitement and fear as she went to answer the door. Tonight would set the tone for their relationship. Tonight she had to play the role she thought he wanted her to play.
Schooling her face into a coolly sophisticated smile, she opened the door.
‘Come in, darling,’ she said. ‘Dinner’s just about ready.’
Chapter 16
Leah rode the lift up to the penthouse floor of Jason’s building, as she’d ridden it many times before. She had her own private key card these days.
Six months had passed since she’d agreed to become Jason’s girlfriend.
That was what Jason always introduced her as. His girlfriend.
Leah supposed it was a lot better than mistress. Though the tabloids did use that word occasionally.
They had become a rather high-profile couple, their photographs splashed across the gossip pages of magazines and newspapers, especially after she achieved fame in her own right as the face of the Sunshine range of products.
Jason’s new advertising and marketing campaign had proved very successful.
Beville Holdings was going from strength to strength, with new management and a new receptionist. Mandy. Leah was now a highly sought-after photographic model, a job she quite liked, but which she suspected would eventually run its course.
Her relationship with Jason seemed just as happy—on the surface. They did go out in public together a lot more, to restaurants and parties and other social functions that Jason was invited to. And she occasionally helped him entertain in his penthouse.
But Jason wasn’t overly keen on the social side of being a billionaire. Often their weekends were quiet, allowing Leah to still visit the hospital on a Saturday, after which she would go home to visit her father, like in the old days. Jason would always join her there and they would stay overnight.
Mrs B. adored him. Her father liked him, too, despite his not offering to become his son-in-law. Jason was a very likable man.
Yes, everything seemed okay.
Lately, however, Leah would catch Jason looking at her sometimes with a slight frown in his eyes. Something was bothering him about her. She dared not ask him what the matter was, because she feared the answer.
Was he growing bored with her perhaps?
She’d tried terribly hard not to cling, sensing he’d hate that. And she never told him she loved him. Never ever. Not even when he was making love to her in that long, gentle way he did sometimes, and which totally overwhelmed her with emotion. The way he looked down at her as he rocked slowly in and out of her, often brought the words to her lips.
But she always bit them back. Always!
When the lift doors opened, Leah just stood there for a moment. She could hear voices coming from the depths of the open-plan apartment. She hadn’t expected company tonight. Friday night they usually spent having dinner in the restaurant that occupied part of the floor below Jason’s penthouse, followed by a spa bath, then bed.
Jason hadn’t mentioned anything about having anyone over tonight when he’d called her around lunchtime. The thought of having to entertain some of Jason’s hyped-up business colleagues did not appeal. Leah felt tired. Tired and dispirited. And worried.
With a weary sigh, she hooked her bag over her shoulder and stepped out of the lift.
Jason’s stomach had tightened when he heard the purr of the lift.
It would be Leah, of course. Beautiful, intriguing, enigmatic Leah, coming to spend Friday night with him, as usual.
‘That will be Leah now,’ he said to Bob and Trish.
Trish beamed from where she was perched on the edge of a black leather armchair, sipping a celebratory glass of champagne. ‘I haven’t seen Leah in ages. Except on the telly, of course. And on those fabulous billboards.’
‘Those billboards are really something, aren’t they?’ Bob remarked. ‘Have you told Leah about us yet, Jase?’
Jason smiled at his obviously very happy PA. ‘No. I thought we might surprise her.’
Bob had confided to Jason just after lunch at work that he’d popped the question to Trish the previous night, but hadn’t as yet bought a ring. The proposal had been of the impulsive kind. So Jason had given him a hefty cash bonus as an engagement present and sent them both off ring shopping. When Bob had rung him around six to thank him, mentioning that they were on their way to a top city restaurant to celebrate, he’d immediately invited them up to the penthouse for a pre-dinner drink of champagne.
His first thought was to ring Leah, but he’d already rung her twice that day.
Telephone calls to Leah were often uncomfortable experiences for Jason. Leah wasn’t like other women, or any other girlfriend he’d ever had.
Even Karen—who was the most independent of women—had liked him to call her often. They’d talked for hours on the phone before they were married.
Leah, however, always cut him short on the phone, saying there was something sh
e had to do, or somewhere she had to go. The only time he got to really talk to her alone was during their Friday night dinners. Even then, she had the knack of keeping their conversation to what had happened that day, never the past, or—heaven forbid—the future!
He glanced up and there she was, looking absolutely gorgeous in a forest-green woollen dress that hugged her body and gave his never-ending desire for her no peace at all. Her hair was up in that soft, sexy style he adored. A gold necklace—not one he’d ever bought her—adorned her lovely throat, matching earrings dangling from her small earlobes. Her perfume seemed to precede her into the room, a teasing tantalising scent that drove him insane.
‘Trish!’ she exclaimed, her beautiful but often too-serious face lighting up when she saw who his visitors were. ‘And Bob! I’m so glad it’s you and not some of Jason’s old cronies.’
‘I don’t have old cronies,’ he protested, and handed her a glass of champagne.
‘I’m not your father.’
‘You certainly aren’t,’ she said as she took it, dropping her handbag on an empty chair. ‘What are we celebrating?’
Trish jumped up from her chair and wriggled her ring finger at Leah. ‘This,’ she said.
‘Oh, my, you’re engaged! How wonderful! And what a lovely ring.’
‘The boss paid for most of it,’ Bob said, and Leah swung round to smile at him.
Yet she didn’t really look happy.
Jason wished he could read what it was that made her eyes go like that. So dull and sad. Was she thinking of the time when her husband had given her a diamond ring? Damn and blast, would she ever get over that bastard?
‘That was very generous of you, darling,’ she said.
Jason winced inside. He hated it when she called him darling like that. It was so superficial sounding. So…meaningless.
He wasn’t her darling. He would never be her darling.
What a dismaying thought.
Jason could not pin down the moment he realised he’d fallen in love with Leah.
Perhaps it was the Friday night last month when she’d been running terribly late and he hadn’t been able to get her on her mobile. A vicious storm had swept in from the west, bringing heavy rain and hail, along with lightning and thunder.