Maybe it was because it had been a long time since I’d dressed up to be pretty, but it was hard for me to even see myself as pretty in the mirror. The one time I’d dressed up for Don, I’d felt more like an object than a woman. “I guess it’ll do.”
She held up Brendan’s credit card. “Your husband said that we can get anything we want, so we’re going to go shoe and lingerie shopping,” she said with glee. “Here, let me unzip you.”
“I don’t need lingerie,” I said quickly. “Or shoes.”
“Girl, this is a hoedown. You need some boots.” She tugged the zipper down and handed me my pants. “I want you to have fun tonight, Jillian. Promise me. Don’t think about the past. Don’t worry about the future. Just have fun with a man who makes your heart skip a beat, okay?”
I sighed and began to dress. “I don’t know. I think this whole thing is a bad idea.”
Before she could respond, my phone rang. Grabbing it from my purse, I frowned. It was Cindy. “I should take this. She tends to panic when she can’t reach me.”
“She’s going to really panic when she discovers that you’re holed up in the middle of nowhere,” Danielle said dryly. “I’ll go pay for the dress and meet you out front. And then shoes and lingerie.”
“Fine.” I waved my hand and laughed. At least it meant a little more time with the one person who I could talk to about all of this.
***
I was running late.
After Danielle left, I tried to get a little more work done on my dissertation and lost track of time. Now, Brendan would be here any minute, and all I’d managed to do was pull the damn dress over my head. My hair was still damp after my shower, and I was struggling to get the ridiculous cowboy boots that Danielle made me buy on.
Stepping in front of the mirror, I frowned. “I look like hell,” I grumbled as I raked my fingers through my hair. Even worse, I couldn’t get the damn dress zipped.
“I think you look beautiful.” From the reflection in the mirror, I saw Brendan step into my room, holding a bouquet of flowers.
What the hell?
“Thanks, I think,” I said slowly as I whirled around. “I know that I’m late, but I still need to put my hair up, and I’m hoping that I can get Kim to help me with my dress.”
“I think that you should leave your hair down,” he suggested as he set the flowers on the table. “And I can help you with your dress.”
After a moment of hesitation, I turned back to the mirror and nodded. His gaze never left mine as his knuckles brushed along the bare skin of my back. “Calla lilies. My favorite,” I said with a soft smile. “You remembered.”
He pulled the zipper up, and I straightened the dress and smoothed a hand down my front. After a few seconds of debate, I used my fingers to part my hair to the side and pulled it over my shoulder. “I guess I’m ready, then.”
“Before we go, I just wanted to thank you.” He cleared his throat and looked away nervously. “I don’t want you to be stressed out about tonight. In fact, I’d like you to have fun. I know that Blackwell is going to be there, but I promise not to push us down his throat.”
I wondered if he had any idea how much that relaxed me. “I’ll try to enjoy myself tonight, and I won’t let you down. This is our first time seeing Blackwell since his surprise visit, so I think that we need to make a good impression.”
“I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for. The other night was amazing, but I think it might be best if we stayed out of the bedroom.” He glanced around the room. “Or my bedroom, at least.”
“What’s wrong with your bedroom?” Where had that come from? Why did I care? The argument was absurd, and I shook my head. “Never mind. Forget that I said that. Let’s just go. I don’t think that I’ve ever been to a festival.”
He put his hand on the small of my back as he led me to the car. “What are you talking about? We went to that Spring Fling festival on campus.”
“No, we were supposed to, but you got distracted on the way there, and we turned around and went home, remember?”
He opened the door for me and smiled as he remembered just exactly what I’d done to distract him. “Don’t even think about it,” I warned as I put my finger up. “We don’t do those kinds of things, remember? The other night was the last time.”
Shaking his head, he closed the door and locked it. “Shame. I’ve got all kinds of good ideas now.”
The festival was being held at the park right next to the ranch, so it was a short ride. The vendors had erected a few rides including a Ferris wheel and some games. There were food trucks circling the whole area, and right smack in the middle was a wood dance floor. Couples were already dancing under the lights that swung from the poles. A live band played a western jig, and I stared at the muddied ground.
“Suddenly, I’m glad Danielle made me get the boots,” I murmured.
“Why don’t we start off with a couple of beers,” he chuckled as he guided me toward one of the food trucks. “Are you hungry?”
“Not yet. But a beer would be great.” I wasn’t really a beer drinker, but I could definitely use a drink, and I didn’t see anyone walking around with glasses of wine or shots of whiskey.
“Okay. Be right back.” He kissed me on the forehead almost absently as he got in line. Alone, I wrapped my arms around myself and shuffled through the crowd to see the attractions. The games were all ranch related. Pin the tail on the horse or cow. Horse races using water guns. Guess how many mini pig toys were in a giant jar. Dunk the mayor.
Everyone looked like they were having an amazing time. Kids were laughing and chasing each other around. The little ones looked so happy. So free…
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Ward. At this point there really isn’t anything we can do,” the doctor said as he pushed his chair back a little.
Brendan’s hand squeezed mine a little too hard, and my blood turned to ice. Surely he wasn’t saying what I thought he was saying. “What?” I whispered.
“Sometimes these things happen. Some women just have a harder time than others…”
His patient voice faded away, and my vision narrowed. My fault. It was my fault. I’d done something wrong. I should have gone to the doctor sooner. I should have known something was wrong. Women’s intuition. Mother’s intuition.
“Jillian,” Brendan whispered as he wiped his thumb on my cheek. His eyes were rimmed with tears, and I realized that I was also crying.
I’d lost his child. Horrified, I pulled my hand back. I didn’t want him to touch me. I didn’t want anyone to touch me. My skin might melt off if was touched.
Turning away from the kids, I swallowed hard as the memories pulled at me, wanting to suck me back into the depression that had claimed my soul for so long.
I needed to focus on something else. Focus on anything else. Women and men flirted and danced. Their smiles were genuine, their laughter real. It was like they didn’t have a care in the world.
None of this was about politics or reputation or trying to impress someone.
Nobody except Brendan and me.
I didn’t want to stray too far, so I turned back around and headed back. Brendan already had two beers in his hand, but rather than looking for me, he was surrounded by three women.
Three very familiar women.
The three blondes who had been following Danielle and me around the dress shops apparently hadn’t been just looking for dresses. As they simpered over Brendan, laughing, tossing their hair, touching him, I had a sneaking feeling that they were there to get a good look at me.
Jealousy swept over me, and I took a deep breath. This was a small town, and Brendan was not only sexier than sin, but he was also ridiculously wealthy. It shouldn’t surprise me that most of the women here had their sights set on him, but by now they had to know that he was married.
So what the hell did they think he was doing?
“Your husband is a very popular man around these parts,” an amused voice said. “But th
en, before you returned, he spent enough time with them to give them some hope of a future. It looks like the news of his wife hasn’t deterred them. Maybe they know something that the rest of us don’t.”
With an uneasy feeling, I turned around. The man speaking to me was a little older, in his mid to late thirties. He was dressed casually, but I could tell that the jeans and the shirt were brand new. The collar was stiff and starched, and there wasn’t a speck of dirt on him. I would have considered him handsome if he wasn’t staring at me with a curled lip of disgust.
“Excuse me? Do I know you?” I asked politely.
“No, I suppose we haven’t met. I’m Dennis Blackwell.”
Oh. Harry’s son.
No wonder Brendan was going to such great lengths to keep the land away from this man. I’d just met him, and he already made my skin crawl. “Jillian,” I said politely.
He took my hand and pressed it to his lips, but rather than a chaste kiss, he licked me.
With a shudder, I ripped my hand away. “That was uncalled for,” I said coldly.
“My apologies.” His smirk told me of his lie. “I can see why Ward married you. You are delicious. So I heard that you and Brendan are trying to make your marriage work. Funny how that happens right when my father told your husband he wanted a family man to take over.”
“There’s nothing funny about it,” I said coldly. “Brendan and I were married long before these issues ever came up.”
“Yes, and then estranged for years and years. Why didn’t you just get a divorce? Was it the money? You realized how wealthy your husband really is? If it’s money that you want, I’m sure that you and I can come to some sort of arrangement. What I want to do with that land will make me five times as wealthy as Ward, and I’d be more than happy to share it with someone who made it worth my while.”
His stare raked up and down my body, and I wanted to vomit all over his shiny boots.
“My wife is not for sale,” Brendan growled as he walked up to us. “And if you bother her again, you’ll find yourself face down in the mud. Are we clear?”
Immediately, I glanced around for the three blondes. They were glaring at me, and I felt a little better. “Brendan, it’s okay,” I murmured as I reached out and took the beer. “Really.”
“I would listen to your wife if I were you, Ward. A family man doesn’t get into brawls in public,” he drawled with a disgusting grin. “Jillian. I’ll be seeing you around. Maybe you’ll save a dance for me.”
“Not likely,” I said through clenched teeth. He walked away, and Brendan put a comforting arm around me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was here. I should have warned you about him.”
Sipping at my beer, I glanced back at the three women still staring at us. “It appears that you’ve been busy.”
Following my gaze, he gave me a small smile. “Jealous?”
“It’s hard to work on a marriage if the husband is a philandering pig.” I tried to keep my voice light, but I was angrier than I expected.
“It’s not like that. I’m not saying that I was a monk after I came back, but I’ve been careful. I’ve never been with anyone who expected more from me, and I haven’t been with anyone since I found out that I was still married. Actually, longer than that.”
“Why not?”
Brendan frowned, and he navigated me through the crowd until we were no longer in sight of the three stalkers. “I’m a lot of things, Jillian, but I’m no cheater.”
“It wouldn’t have bothered me,” I lied. “But that’s not what I meant. You thought you were single. Why didn’t you try and find someone to fall in love with?”
“Why didn’t you?”
Rather than answering, I just drained my beer. Tossing the cup in the trashcan, I cleared my throat. “The biggest problem is that your three fans over there spent all day following Danielle and me around the boutiques. We didn’t really talk about the deal that you and I made, but I did talk about the other night with her, and that could raise some suspicions.”
“I’m not worried.” He finished his beer and took my hand. “Want to dance?”
I was about to tell him no when I spotted Dennis talking to his father, and Harry’s eyes were trained on me. God knows what Dennis was saying. “I’m thinking that might be a good idea,” I murmured as I grabbed Brendan’s arm and walked him around until he could catch a glimpse of Blackwell himself. His jaw clenched, and he led me to the dance floor.
As he pulled me into his arms, he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. “That’s not why I asked you to dance, but I can see that it’s the only reason you said yes.”
“I’m just trying to do what you asked me to do.” It was terrifyingly easy to slip into his arms and feel comfortable.
“I told you that I wanted tonight to be about relaxing and having a good time.”
I was about to apologize when I looked over and saw even more women glaring daggers at me. “It’s a little hard to relax with Dennis and all the single women of Springs County hating on me,” I grumbled.
“Just forget about them.” He squeezed my hip gently as we swayed to the music. “Think about something else.”
“Like what? You want to chat about my dissertation?”
“No. Actually, I want to talk about the other night.” I tried to look away, but he captured my chin and forced me to look at him. “You would tell your clients to face their obstacles, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes, but Brendan, we’re not an obstacle.”
“We absolutely are an obstacle if you haven’t been able to drop your guard long enough to be with another man. Danielle told me while she was yelling at me.”
Humiliated, I closed my eyes. “I’m going to kill her. She had no right to tell you something so private, and you have no right to try to give me advice about it.”
“Listen to me, Jillian. We both dealt with the end of our marriage in different ways. You can see the consequences of my actions. I know my reputation, but it’s time that you faced your consequences as well. You shouldn’t have to be alone because of the mistakes we made. You had so much to give. You still do.”
Stunned, I stared at him and stopped dancing. His arms tightened around me. “I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say.”
“Relax. Dance with me, sweetheart,” he said soothingly. Automatically, I started to sway. “I’m saying that maybe if we stop fighting with each other, we might actually be able to move on when this is all over with. Let’s try being friends.”
That was a novel concept. We’d never actually been friends. There’d been no “getting to know you” phase in our relationship. We’d gone from introductions to lovers in just a few days, and from lovers to married in just a few months.
“Friends?”
“Friends.”
It would make things so much easier. Friends didn’t sleep with each other. Friends didn’t bring up past mistakes or fight over petty things. Friends didn’t hate each other. For the first time since I’d set eyes on Brendan, I was able to breathe just a little bit easier. Friends. That had a nice ring to it even if I wasn’t sure that I trusted it.
Resting my head on his chest, I smiled. “I think I can do that.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Brendan
It was strange having her in my arms again, especially considering that we weren’t fighting or falling into bed together. Instead, we were just dancing. And waving the white flag.
She wasn’t exactly relaxed, but she was warming up to me. Her head rested on my chest and she even hummed a little bit to the music. I resisted the urge to kiss her on the top of her head. The truth was that I’d just given her a whole load of bullshit. I didn’t want Jillian to move on from me. I wanted her to stay in my arms forever, but that was never going to happen if she didn’t trust me again.
And if that meant starting back as friends, then that’s what I was willing to do.
After the song, she stepped back and gave me a
hesitant smile. “I’m going to go get some food and walk around a little.”
I knew what that meant. She needed to get away from me a little, but I wasn’t worried. Jillian always needed her alone time to sort through her thoughts.
“Sure thing. I’m going to grab a beer.” I watched her disappear through the crowd, and as I tried to wind through it behind her, someone grabbed my waist and pulled me back.
“Hi, darling. I see your dance card is empty,” a pretty blonde said with a wink. She looked vaguely familiar to me, but I didn’t remember her name.
“Actually, I was just taking a break to get a beer.”
“Oh. That’s perfect because I could use one myself.” She gave me a sexy smile as she slid her hand in the back pocket of my jeans as we walked.
Quickly, I pulled her hand out. The last thing that I needed was for Jillian to see this woman flirting with me. Or Harry, for that matter. “I’d be happy to escort you,” I said carefully. “I need to grab one for my wife too. She’s getting us some food.”
“Your wife?” Her eyes flashed. “You’re fucking married? Since when?”
“Whoa.” Narrowing my eyes, I studied her. “I’m not sure why my marriage should upset you so much.” I knew for sure that I’d never dated or bedded this woman, so why was she so pissed? She also didn’t look like one of the women who’d been chasing after me. Why couldn’t I place her?
“Six months ago, you weren’t married, and now suddenly, you are. What kind of game are you playing, Brendan Ward?” She pressed her lips into a thin line and stalked away. Bewildered, I stared at her until I saw who she walked toward.
Dennis Blackwell. I had no idea who she was, but I certainly knew that if she’d teamed up with Dennis, it wasn’t good news.
The festival was in full swing, and the lines for beer were so much longer. I lost sight of Dennis and the mystery woman, and Jillian was nowhere to be found. It briefly occurred to me that Dennis might take this opportunity to try and take advantage of Jillian again, but I wasn’t all that worried. My jealousy was unfounded, and Jillian could take care of herself.
Reclaiming My Wife Page 14