I couldn’t even look at her as she stomped by. Instead, I just moaned and leaned my forehead against the wood. “Don’t fall for him, Darling. Sex and men are nothing but trouble, and I’m sure that stallions go through the same thing.”
She whinnied, and Silva glared at me. Sitting heavily in the chair, I pulled out my paper. Sex with Brendan was complicated, but it made some things very clear. I didn’t belong here, and Brendan and I weren’t meant to work out.
“Dissertation and divorce,” I murmured. Those were the only things I needed to focus on.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Brendan
“Call Ticker. Lana needs shoeing, and he isn’t scheduled to come for another two weeks. I don’t think she’s going to wait that long,” Ben said as he straightened and patted the girl’s flank.
“I thought I made it clear. I don’t like Ticker,” I snapped. “Fire him. Find me someone else. Who does Blackwell use?”
“Ticker. Everyone in this area uses Ticker. There aren’t a lot of farriers around. Why are you in such a bad mood?”
“Not liking Ticker isn’t an indication that I’m in a bad mood,” I grunted. Seeing the look of horror on Jillian’s face had put me in a horrible mood. It was sex. It was great sex, so she really didn’t need to duck me like I had the plague.
“No, but yelling at everyone you come across generally means that you’re in a bad mood. You also made your staff work through lunch. I’m fairly certain that’s not even legal.”
Hanging up the saddle, I glared at him. “I’m trying to expand operations here and prove that I can handle both my land and Blackwell’s. If that means that everyone needs to work a little bit harder, then so be it.”
“It’s your wife, isn’t it? You two have a fight?”
“What, are you on her side now? Sticking up for your therapist?”
“For the hundredth time, she’s not my therapist. I don’t need a therapist. Debra and I are not together, and we will never get together. I’m just trying to figure out how to diffuse the situation so it doesn’t affect her work. She really is the best horse trainer,” he said even as his cheeks reddened. It was disconcerting to see the older man blush, and it put me in an even worse mood.
“Find me a new farrier,” I growled. “Where the hell is Mickie? He’s supposed to be meeting me here.”
“I’m here, boss. Sorry. Got distracted by the gorgeous brunette hanging out with your wife. She’s not off-limits, right?”
“My wife is off-limits, Mickie, and if you bring it up again, I will fire you!” Silence descended on the stable, and I realized that the poor guy wasn’t talking about Jillian. “What brunette?”
“Ah… she said her name was Danielle,” Mickie said stiffly.
“Perfect. This is exactly what I need,” I growled, throwing up my hands. “What the hell is she doing here?”
“Who is she?” Ben asked.
“Jillian’s best friend. The woman loathes me. Jillian must have called her after… never mind. She can’t stay.” I grabbed my hat off the hook.
“Whoa. You’re just going to march over there and kick your wife’s best friend off the ranch? I don’t really think that’s going to help whatever problems you and Jillian are having,” Ben pointed out. “Besides, after all the flack that she’s taken from Kim, I imagine that Jillian needs a friend. Pretending to still love the man who is supposed to be your ex-husband can’t be easy.”
Pretending to still love.
It hurt more than I wanted to admit even if I’d just told Jillian this morning that we were essentially just friends with benefits.
But Ben was right. Things weren’t easy on Jillian, and she probably could use her friend. More importantly, I needed Jillian to be somewhat happy. Harry had been awfully quiet for a week. He was bound to show up sooner rather than later.
“I am not going to kick Danielle out. I’m just going to go say hi and see how long the damned woman is planning on staying. Mickie, Jillian’s best friend is off-limits. Consider anyone you see talking to Jillian or even looking at Jillian as off-limits. I need you to move the horses out of the southwest stables. I’ve got workers getting ready to start checking the irrigation pipes, and I want to start in that pasture. Ben, take care of this farrier ordeal. I do not want Ticker. The man is drunk more than he’s sober.”
The two men just stared at me as I stomped out. I was pissed that Jillian would invite Danielle here without my consent, but more than that, I needed to make sure that she would play along.
Jillian was still hiding out with Silva. I’d hoped the horse would help acclimate her to the ranch, but all I’d done was give her a place to hide. I’d have to fix that as well.
Laughter filtered out from the stable, and I stilled as I entered. They were hugging and talking over each other. It had been a long time since I’d seen Jillian so at ease.
“I hate to interrupt you ladies, but I heard that we had a visitor,” I said calmly as I walked toward them. The laughter immediately stopped, and Danielle narrowed her eyes. I could see the uncertainty shimmering in the air. They both thought I was some sort of monster. “We don’t have another guest room, but there’s a cot in the office if you want to stay. Or you can stay with Jillian.”
“You’re okay if she stays?” Jillian asked softly. “I wasn’t sure.”
“As long as she doesn’t blow it for us. You’re welcome to have friends over, but with all the work that we’re doing around the ranch, it’s not really safe for her to roam around. Just make sure that if Harry comes around...”
“Don’t worry. She knows what to do.” She smiled faintly. “Thanks, Brendan. I appreciate it, but she’s only staying for the night, and she’ll stay with me.”
Relief swept through me. “Are you sure? I don’t mind if she stays longer.”
“I’m sure. She drove here, so we’re planning to go out to dinner, so there’s no need to plan for us to be there.”
“Okay. Enjoy yourself.” With nothing left to say, I turned to walk out. My phone rang, and when I looked down at it, I cringed.
Of course Harry would be calling right now.
Once I was out of earshot, I answered. “Mr. Blackwell. Good afternoon.”
“Afternoon. I just wanted to call and check up on things. See how you and the missus are doing.”
The missus? I cringed. Jillian would throw a fit if she heard anyone calling her that. “Things are great. We’re getting some work done around the ranch,” I answered vaguely. “Jillian has even been helping out where she can. One of my stallions is quite taken with her.”
“Yes, Silva. I heard.”
He heard? I immediately glanced around me. Did he have a spy on my ranch? “Did you now?”
Harry chuckled. “Don’t worry, my boy. When the rescue horse died, word got around town about the other one. Quite a few people were concerned. I’m pleased that you found a way to rectify the situation.”
I noticed that he didn’t actually come out and say who he heard the information from, but I let it drop. “Have you made a decision about the other buyer?” I tried to keep my voice casual. All this dust that I was kicking up would be for nothing if Harry got impatient and just sold it to someone else. Of course, if it was to another rancher, I’d feel a little better.
“When I make a decision, I’ll notify you. I called to see if I’d be seeing you and your pretty wife at the festival tomorrow evening?”
The festival. I’d completely forgotten about it. Every year, Springs County hosted their annual hoedown festival. It was meant to be a step back in time, to remind everyone of their frontier roots, but the festival had been modernized quite a bit. Even though the dance floor in the middle of the square was the most popular, there were still food trucks from the city, fair rides, and other vendors.
“Absolutely.” I plowed a hand through my hair, thinking things through. “Jillian’s looking forward to it. She and her friend are going shopping for a dress this evening,” I lied.
/> “Excellent. I look forward to getting to know your wife a little better.” He hung up, and I groaned. What the hell was I supposed to do with Jillian during the festival? Word had no doubt already spread that I was still married, so it would be impossible to hide her.
“Why are Jillian and I going shopping for a dress?” Danielle asked with acid dripping from her voice. I whirled around. The raven-haired beauty was leaning against a tree and glaring at me. “I was heading up to the house to grab some more treats for the horses.”
“You son-of-a-bitch. You’re going to leave her now? After everything that has happened to the two of you?”
I hadn’t slept in days. The last thing I wanted was for Danielle to get her claws into me. Rubbing a hand over my face, I blinked and stared at her. What the hell was she even doing in our apartment? Jillian wasn’t even here. “I’m not the only one signing the papers.”
“She’s traumatized. She’s hurting. She’s—”
“Shutting me out,” I snapped. “She’s shutting me out, Danielle. She’s not my wife. She’s some stranger living under the same roof as me. She’s better off without me.”
Silence descended, and she stared at me. “You still love her.”
“Get out,” I ordered. “My marriage is none of your business, and neither is my divorce. Just get the hell out.”
“That conversation was private.” A headache formed behind my eyes as she glared at me.
“You were going to have to explain anyway, so you might as well start now.” Danielle shook her head. “You know, I encouraged Jillian to do this. She’s been a completely different person since she lost the baby and then you. It’s been really hard to watch, and I thought that maybe if she did this, she’d find some closure. She’d be able to find a way to enjoy her life again and look forward to being in love. I even thought that maybe you two might rekindle something.”
“But?” I muttered through gritted teeth.
“How could you seduce her like that? How could you get her back into bed without even discussing the baby?”
“Stop.” Holding up my hand, I shook my head. “I am definitely not going to talk about it with you, and I didn’t convince Jillian to do anything that she didn’t want to do.”
“Of course she wanted you! She hasn’t slept with anyone since you!”
The blood drained from her face as she realized what she’d said, and I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on me.
Really? For all these years, Jillian hadn’t slept with anyone? No wonder she was running from me today. “Why?”
“You need to talk to her, Brendan,” Danielle said softly. “I know that she’s difficult and doesn’t want to talk, but she’s still hurting, and this is only making it worse. I’m not saying that you have to reconcile your marriage. I’m not even saying that you can’t sleep with her. Believe it or not, I think it might be good for her. She needs to be able to move on with her life and not fear being in a relationship again.”
“She was in a relationship,” I pointed out.
She threw up her hands, a look of disgust on her face. “Dear god, we are not counting Don. In fact, if nothing else, that should show you just how far off the reservation she’s gone.” Danielle shook her head. “I know this ranch is important to you, and the land or whatever it is you’re trying to get, but Jillian used to be important to you too. Don’t just use her. Help her.”
Help her? I didn’t even know how to help myself.
There was no point in trying to defend myself. “Tomorrow night there’s a town festival. I’d completely forgotten about it. I’m expected to be there and so is Jillian. As my wife. She’ll need something to wear. Usually there’s a huge sale in the boutique shops in town selling dresses. You and Jillian should do some shopping. You can take my credit card and get whatever she needs.”
“We have plenty of dresses,” Danielle said slowly. “Why would she need to buy something?”
“We’re not talking about a gala in the city,” I pointed out.
“Right. Western chic. I’m all over it.” Danielle nodded rapidly, clearly making a checklist in her head. “Get your shit together, Brendan. I don’t want to have to come back here. I’m not super crazy about the smell of horse manure, and your employees keep giving me weird looks. Plus, I find it weird that your wife is feeding apples to a damn horse. She’s a city girl.”
“Carrots only for Silva. No apples. He’s got enough stimulation with Darling in front of him. He doesn’t need the sugar rush.”
She rolled her eyes before she walked away. Unable to help myself, I looked back at the stable. The fact that Jillian hadn’t been with anyone since our separation explained so much about last night.
It appeared that we’d dealt with the end of our marriage very differently. I’d done my best to find someone else to help me forget about her, and she’d walled herself off, not just from me, but from men in general.
It wasn’t just my fault. I wasn’t the only one to shoulder the blame, but Jillian was important to me. Maybe reintroducing her to passion really would help her, and maybe finally, we could both get the closure we needed.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Jillian
“What about this?”
I held up an ankle-length brown dress with long sleeves and a high neck. The dress shop was crawling with other women who were apparently shopping for the same party, and Danielle and I were the center of attention. It was hard to ignore the stares, but it was better to have them staring at me than Brendan.
I groaned at myself. Jealous much?
“I swear, if you pick out one more dowdy mu-mu, I’m going to lock you in the dressing room.” Danielle crossed her arms and frowned. “What is wrong with you? You’ve normally got a great fashion sense. Even if you shy away from the super sexy, you don’t usually stoop to something my great-great-great-grandmother would wear.”
“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad. It might get chilly tonight.”
“This is California,” Danielle said dryly.
“And the color would contrast with my blonde hair—”
“And you’d blend right in with the ground. Jillian, what is going on? Are you trying to be invisible tonight?”
Frustrated, I shoved the dress back on the rack. “Yes, I would love to be invisible tonight because tonight I’m supposed to be Brendan’s lovey-dovey wife in front of Mr. Blackwell, and after last night, that’s going to be a little harder. I would like to wear something that covers everything and doesn’t give him any ideas.”
“Based on what you told me about last night, I’d say that even that dress wouldn’t temper his desire for you.” Danielle laughed as she shuffled through another rack of dresses. “So you might as well wear something like this.” She pulled out a blue dress and handed it to me with a knowing smile.
I immediately handed it back. “That looks like something you bought and then shrunk a few times in the dryer. This is a small-town festival, not a strip club in the city.”
“Are you going to dance with him?”
Walking over to a rack of clearance dresses, I glared at her. “Two hours ago you were calling him a bastard for seducing me, and now you want me to dance with him? You’re all over the spectrum. You need to pick a side, and since you’re my best friend, that automatically means that you need to be on my side.”
“You were the one who told me that last night was very mutual,” Danielle pointed out. “Yes, I think it happened a little too quickly, and yes, I think you two need to work out your issues before it happens again, but I think that maybe tonight will be good for you both. It’s a public venue so he can’t seduce you.”
“If you think that’s going to stop him, then you don’t know him very well,” I muttered. I thought back to all the times we’d been very sneaky at public events.
She pulled out a purple dress and held it up for inspection. “I just think that he’s concerned about more than just sex and land, and maybe tonight, you two can act
ually talk.”
Three of the women in the store were inching closer. Worried that they might overhear, I grabbed her arm and tugged her away. “Shh,” I whispered as I looked around. “Small town. Lots of gossip.”
“Weren’t they in the other store that we were in? Are they following us?” Danielle said as she looked over her shoulder.
“There aren’t a lot of dress stores here, and they’re probably going to the festival too.” I took the dress out of her hands and inspected it. It was simple with a halter-style top, three different shades of purple sweeping across the bodice with a cinched waist and flowy skirt that looked like it would stop just above the knee. “This looks fine. I’ll try it on.”
The store employer gave me a curious look as she unlocked the dressing room for us. I had a feeling new faces were unusual in her shop. Danielle followed me in and sat on the bench while she waited for me to change. “Do you remember when we were shopping for your wedding dress?”
“At the consignment shop?” I laughed as I pulled the shirt over my head. “All you did was complain that you couldn’t throw me the wedding of my dreams. All I wanted to do was get married.”
“I just wanted to be your maid of honor and wear a pretty dress.”
“You were my maid of honor, and you did wear a pretty dress.” I slipped the dress in my hands over my head. After shimmying out of my pants, I tried to zip it back up, but it snagged. “Help,” I said as I backed up.
“I was the only one there, and the officiate treated me more like a witness than a bridesmaid,” Danielle complained. “Hang on, I think it’s caught on the fabric.”
“That’s because it was the justice of the peace, and we were his last wedding of the day.” I craned my head over my shoulder and watched as she finally freed the zipper and pulled it up. Tugging on the fabric, I stepped in front of the mirror.
There was nothing remarkable about the dress. It was cut a little low, but it had a built-in bra, so I didn’t have to wear anything underneath it. “It could use a necklace.”
“No.” Danielle shook her head. “It’s perfect just the way it is.”
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