Reclaiming My Wife

by Jessica Blake

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “I see that I’ve missed a lot.” Letting go of her, I reached over and stroked Silva’s muzzle. “He looks okay. Is he doing okay?”

  “Brendan worked some sort of miracle one weekend. I left on Friday and the horse hadn’t eaten in two days, and when I returned on Monday, he was eating enough for two. Brendan wouldn’t tell me his secret, but I think Silva didn’t want to disappoint you.”

  Leaning down, I gave the horse a kiss. “That’s because he’s a good boy.” I enjoyed rubbing on him for a minute before I stepped back. “I can’t find your brother. Do you know where I might find him?”

  “He’s actually not here, but I can give you an address. It might be best if you talked to him there.” She pulled out her phone and tapped around on the screen before she jotted something down on a piece of paper.

  Absently, I took it. “And where is that?”

  Kim shrugged. “You drive down here?”

  “I rented a car. How much longer will he be at this address?”

  “Half an hour, but it should only take you about ten minutes to get there.”

  There was something in her voice. She was hiding something from me, but I didn’t push. If this address led me to Brendan and some other woman, I guess it would serve me right. And maybe Kim thought so too.

  The GPS led me to the edge of the county. It was the first of several small towns that separated Springs County from the city. The building housed several small suites inside, and I was alarmed to see Dr. Goodman’s name on the door.

  My heart skipped a beat. Had something happened to Brendan? Some sort of accident at the ranch? Panic struck, and I rushed into the office. A young woman stood quickly. “Ma’am? You can’t go in there. Ma’am!”

  Ignoring her, I ran through the waiting room and opened the door to the side. Brendan jumped up from the chair and whirled around to face me, and I took one look at the scene and felt a little dizzy.

  “Jillian? What are you doing here? How did you even know that I was here?”

  “I…” Reaching out, I gripped the counter next to the wall. “Your sister said that you’d be here.”

  His face darkened. “Remind me to kill her. Are you okay? You’re really pale. Why is there a bruise on your jaw?”

  “Ms. Quinn?” Dr. Goodman rose and gestured to the chair. “Perhaps you should sit down.”

  As Brendan led me to a chair, I studied him. He looked good. Part of me didn’t want him to look good. I wanted him to look as tortured as I felt, but he was polished and put-together. His jeans and button-down shirt were clean, and after one whiff of him, I could tell that he’d even taken the time to shower before coming here.

  I turned my head and glanced at the achievements and diplomas that graced the wall behind the doctor. “Emerson University.” I nodded. “I’ve heard a good deal about their program. Impressive.”

  “Thank you.” The woman glowed. “I’ve heard a good deal about you as well.”

  “Thanks.” I took a few deep breaths to center myself and focused on the reality in front of me. I just couldn’t make sense of it. “Brendan, Dr. Goodman is a therapist. What are you doing here?”

  “I know. She specializes in grief and marriage counseling which seemed a little perfect because I needed both.” He sat down next to me and took my hand. “I told you that I never really grieved our child, and it took its toll on me. Obviously, I wasn’t handling our marriage very well. Dr. Goodman is helping me with that.”

  “Helping you?” I echoed weakly.

  He flashed me a smile. “Jillian, you’re a therapist. You should understand a man who needs help. I needed to get a grip on a few things myself before I tried to convince you that a divorce was wrong. This is my third session with Dr. Goodman. Do you need the details?”

  “No.” Shaking my head, I pulled my hand back. There was a flash of disappointment in him, but his touch had a way of clouding my judgment. “Your recovery is personal to you. You only need to share the parts of your therapy with me that you think I can help you with. Dr. Goodman, I know that this is highly unusual, but do you think that you could give us a few minutes?”

  “Of course. I have an appointment at three, but I think that Brendan and I were done for today anyway.” She rose graciously and gave us the room.

  “She must be very good for you to have endured three sessions with her,” I said softly.

  “I joked about your job before, and for that I apologize. She’s really helped me understand a few things about myself.” He searched my face anxiously. “Are you here about the divorce?”

  I licked my lips, desperate to press them to his. “That’s part of it, yes.”

  “You’re upset that I haven’t been answering your calls. I’m not ignoring you, Jillian. Or putting you off. I just needed more time before I talked to you. I’d like for you to hear me out before you make a final call, and then, if you want the divorce, I’ll give you whatever you want.”

  It was strange. He seemed all geared up to apologize to me when I was there to apologize to him. I put up my hand. “Brendan, you’ve got to stop. I worked hard on this speech, and you’re going to distract me.”

  He paled a little. “Speech?”

  “Yes, speech. I owe you the biggest apology in the world. After my boards, I had a rather unpleasant run-in with Dr. Augusta. You remember him?”

  His eyes narrowed dangerously. “That asshole you thought you were dating? Is he responsible for that bruise on your jaw?”

  Against my will, my hand moved up to touch the aching bruise. “He’s responsible for a lot of things, including the stunt with Joyce Reid. I was angry and hurt, and I unfairly accused you. I can’t apologize enough, Brendan. I could not have been more wrong, and if I’d been thinking clearly, I would have realized that you never would have hurt me in that way. I’ve always held on to this fear that you blamed me and hated me, and I just couldn’t shake it. I thought this was about revenge, and in a way, it was. I was just wrong about the perpetrator.”

  “He was jealous.” Inhaling, he reached out and traced a finger over my bruise. “I’ll kill him.”

  “There’s no need. He’s been forced out of the university, and any hope he had for a clinic in the city is gone. He’s done. The only thing that I want from you is your forgiveness.”

  Leaning down, he kissed me softly. “You don’t need it, Jillian. I don’t blame you for your reaction. I’d banked on my love being enough to give us a second chance. It wasn’t, and I think you knew that. I wanted to ignore the issues of our past, to control the situation, and in doing so, I chased you away. It’s no wonder that you blamed me. But I love you, and I want more than anything to keep this marriage alive. I’m willing to put in the work for it.”

  Terrified, I reached up and gathered his shirt in my fist. The apology was only the beginning, and I was so worried that he was going to pull away when he heard what I had to say next. “And if you discovered that your wife was pregnant, and you might have to face that grief all over again?” He stilled, and I struggled not to cry as I pushed through. “You weren’t the only one keeping secrets, Brendan. I knew the day that I went to your office and heard you and Gordon talking about the land deal. I was going to tell you then but…” I couldn’t go on.

  “But I lied to you,” he finished for me.

  “And I lied to you by omission. We’re a real piece of work, aren’t we?” I took a deep breath. “I’ve been to see a doctor. They’ve looked over my past medical history. They assure me that everything looks good right now, but there are still no guarantees. As the pregnancy progresses, the chances are stronger, but the doctors said that the next couple of months might still be rocky.”

  “You’re really pregnant?” he whispered.

  “I am.”

  He was quiet for a long moment before asking, “Are you just here because of the baby?”

  Annoyed, I pulled back. “Seriously? If I was here because of the baby, I never would have left!”
<
br />   Laughing, he eased to his knees and pressed his head against my stomach. “I just needed to make sure. Jillian, I’m here for you. No matter what happens. I love you more than anything, and I’m going to be by your side. As your husband.”

  “Good. Because I very much want to be your wife again.” Blissfully happy, I closed my eyes and stroked his hair. “It’s a girl.”

  His eyes widened. “You already know?”

  I stroked my fingers through his soft hair. “In my heart I know.”

  He looked up at me and beamed. “She’s going to be just like you.”

  “God help you,” I chuckled and bent down to kiss him.

  In that moment, my fears fled.

  Brendan was the love of my life, and we may have taken too many detours to get here, but I knew that with him by my side, we’d be able to get through anything.

  EPILOGUE

  Brendan

  Six months later…

  “Push!”

  As the nurse began counting, Jillian bore down, trying with all her might to push my baby from her body. I held her leg up with one arm while the other supported her back, helping her to lean forward as she grunted and cursed and cried through the pain.

  “You’re doing so great, Jillian. So beautiful,” I murmured as the contraction ended, and pushed her sweat soaked hair back from her face. Taking an ice cube from the cup sitting on the rolling table beside me, I rubbed it over her parched lips, wishing I could do more.

  She licked at it, then sucked at the ice cube greedily, thirsty after nearly thirteen hours with no food or water allowed. I didn’t understand why. Damn doctors. So I grabbed another ice cube to offer what little comfort I could.

  Her hand tightened on my arm, and I knew another contraction was coming. Tossing aside the ice, I resumed my position and waited for the doctor’s cue.

  “Push!”

  The nurse began to count.

  Jillian bore down, and her hand nearly broke every knuckle in my fingers as she began to grunt and curse again.

  This was terrible.

  And there was nothing I could fucking do to help.

  So I just talked to her, held her. Tried to keep my shit together.

  “I want an epidural,” Jillian roared when the contraction subsided. She looked up at me and spiders of fear walked up my spine. My beautiful wife must have been possessed by a demon because the next word sounded like it was spoken by a devil. “Now!”

  The doctor swiped a hand over his brow. “Too late for that. The baby is right here. You just need to push a bit harder.”

  Jillian immediately began to sob, and I wanted to punch the man for being so insensitive.

  “But I can’t do this anymore.”

  On the other side of the bed, the nurse took over. “Yes, you can, and you will. In just a few moments, you’ll have a baby in your arms and all of this will feel like a nightmare.”

  “It is a nightmare,” Jillian screamed. “There’s something wrong. Surely it shouldn’t feel like… aggghhh!”

  “Push!”

  Sobbing, Jillian gathered herself and I held her up as the nurse counted. “That’s right, baby. Push our child into the—”

  A familiar sound came from the region between my wife’s legs, and I gasped in shock as a projectile missile splatted against the doctor’s chest.

  Was that our baby?

  If so, it was tiny. And brown.

  “Get out!” Hands were pushing against me as I tried to process what just happened.

  Then it hit me.

  “Shit,” I murmured, still unable to believe what I was seeing. Literally.

  “Get out!”

  Jillian was screaming, pushing at me, clearly understanding that she’d taken a dump on the obstetrician’s smock before I did.

  “It’s okay, honey. I—”

  “Get out!”

  The demon was back, looking at me through the eyeballs in my wife’s flushed face.

  It made me more than a little afraid, but I mustered on, even as another nurse helped the doctor changed smocks and the first nurse wiped my wife’s butt with baby wipes.

  Was this normal?

  “Don’t worry,” the nurse said, apparently reading my mind. “It happens all the time.”

  “Not. To. Me.” If this had been a movie, the lights would have dimmed and creepy music would have begun playing. “I want you… aaaggghhhh…”

  Although she’d been pushing me away a second before, she was clinging to me again. No, clutching. No, crushing.

  But I didn’t care. After what our child was putting her through, she could damn well do anything she wanted.

  “That’s right, Jillian,” the doctor said. “I see the head.”

  Against my internal wishes, I leaned forward and looked down between my wife’s legs. How the doctor knew that the thing bulging from my wife was a head was beyond me, but I had to trust that he knew what he was seeing.

  What I was seeing was pure disgusting.

  The contraction loosened its hold, and the pain in my hand reduced to a manageable level as Jillian fell back onto the bed. The little bulge disappeared back into her body.

  Great. Just great.

  But before I knew it, another contraction hit, and the bulge was back, this time coming out even more.

  “Perfect, Jillian,” the doctor said. “Just perfect. A little more. Bear down hard.” Jillian screamed in my ear as she pushed even harder. “Head’s out.”

  And it was.

  Before my very eyes, the doctor turned the baby and a little, tiny, gross looking face appeared.

  My baby.

  “One more push, Jillian. Not so hard. Just enough to deliver the shoulders and you’ll have a baby to love. Now.”

  As I watched Jillian bear down that last time, a shoulder appeared, then another. Then, in a rush of liquid, the baby came gushing out.

  And I burst into tears.

  I wasn’t the only one. Jillian was crying too. And after some bulb-like thing was stuck in its tiny mouth and nose, our daughter joined the chorus. The sweetest little sound in the world.

  Within moments of being thrust so abruptly into the world, our daughter was on Jillian’s chest and the nurse was wiping her off. She opened her little eyes and looked directly at me.

  “Hey there, little one.”

  Did she smile?

  Probably not, but I was calling it one. Her first. The first of a million, billion firsts.

  Pressing my lips into Jillian’s sweaty hair, I wrapped my arms around my family and held them close.

  I’d reclaimed my wife. Now I was claiming my family.

  Claiming every beat of my heart.

  Jillian

  Six months after that…

  “This is really not the time or the place,” I whispered as I reached down to the bag that was nestled in the grass. The morning had started out well. My dress was cleaned and ironed, and I’d pressed Brendan’s suit. Knowing that he would lose track of time with the horses that he’d bought at auction, I pulled him out of the fields well before we needed to get ready and ushered him into the shower.

  I’d originally picked out the peach outfit for Emily, but she immediately got it dirty when Janice let her play outside while I finished getting ready. Our little girl was obviously growing up to be a rancher just like her daddy. Keep her inside for too long, and she started throwing a fit.

  Changing her had taken time, so of course we were late.

  And of course, Brendan wouldn’t let go of the argument we’d started in the car.

  “All I’m saying is that he wasn’t the greatest person,” Brendan whispered back. I found what I was looking for and pulled the hat over Emily’s head. She cooed happily and blinked those gorgeous dark eyes up at her daddy. He beamed as he leaned down to kiss her.

  It turned out that my husband was the best father that a woman could hope for. After the land deal had been finalized, he’d been a busy man trying to merge the two ranches, but he ma
de sure that he was never away from my side for long. The pregnancy went fairly smoothly, and after a billion hours of labor, Emily Quinn Ward was born into the world with our heartstrings already wrapped around her little finger.

  “Do you, Debra Anne Andrews, take this man to be your wedded husband?”

  “I do, and it’s about time,” Debra said. We all chuckled, and I straightened. After a year of what Ben liked to call courting and Debra called the slowest relationship on earth, Ben finally had the good sense to marry the woman. As a wedding present to them, we rented out a corner of the park next to the ranch and hosted a wedding that they’d remember forever.

  A wedding that we were late to.

  “And do you, Benjamin Thomas Jessup, take this woman to be your wife?”

  “I do.” His voice was soft and confident.

  “May I have the rings?”

  “With this ring, I thee wed,” Debra said softly. Ben echoed the vow, and before the officiate could even give the command, she was in his arms. The small crowd jumped to their feet and clapped wildly. Even Emily clapped her chubby hands together in happiness.

  When I turned to my husband, he was looking down at me with nothing but love in his eyes. “When are you going to let me give you a proper wedding?” he whispered as he bent down to kiss me.

  “Technically, we’ve been married for nearly a decade.” I sighed with pleasure. “And I don’t need a ceremony to know you love me. You do that every day.”

  “Maybe I just want to show you off.”

  “All right, break it up you two,” Kim demanded. The crowd was already moving to the reception area. “I can’t believe that you two were late!”

  “Thanks for taking care of the last minute things.” I gave her a quick hug before Kim snagged Emily and smothered her with kisses. The woman was an amazing aunt, and I could not have asked for a better sister-in-law. We’d grown so close over the year that Brendan grumbled that he was outnumbered.