Cherishing Brianna [Fate Harbor 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Caitlyn O'Leary

  “I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”

  “Charlie!”

  “I know, I know. We’ll talk. But this is where you belong. This is a good town, a good place. Now let’s have our date. Of course, you could be a shitty cook, and then we will have to break up.”

  She snorted out a laugh. Damn it. She hated it when she laughed through her nose, but both men laughed out loud at the sound.

  Charlie tilted her chin up and kissed the tip of her nose. “Now let’s go sit down and eat. I want to have my date. I need to know what your favorite color and movie is.” The man was incorrigible.

  Chapter 18

  “What do you mean you, died?” They were sitting at the table after dinner, and she couldn’t believe what Zac had just said.

  “I mean when I was sixteen I fell into the frozen river. It was near my home.”

  “Fell?” Zac seemed too levelheaded to have just fallen into a frozen river.

  “One of the neighbor’s lambs had fallen in, I was holding onto a tree limb trying to pull her out when she would float by, I missed and fell in. I was wearing warm winter clothing and had trouble getting to shore. Finally, I went under.” Zac told the story matter-of-factly. Brianna cut her eyes over to Charlie and saw that he was just as engrossed as she was.

  “What happened?”

  “It was exactly like all those stories you hear. I was surrounded by a bright warm light, it was the most welcoming and loving place I had ever been. I wasn’t afraid. I felt so much comfort and joy, so much peace. After a long while a beautiful woman came to me, she held out her hand, I couldn’t see her face, but I knew she had a beautiful soul, and she took me to a garden. She sat me down in the grass. We were surrounded by flowers and plants that I had never seen before, and they moved, and enveloped us, their scent intoxicating, their touch soft and loving.

  “She told me I had a choice to stay, but that one day on Earth I was going to find just as much love and comfort, and that I was going to bring just as much love to those around me. I so didn’t want to leave, but she touched my forehead, and for just a moment I glimpsed the heart of an angel. That’s why I call you Angel, Brianna. I know you are the angel she told me about.”

  She couldn’t stop the fear that speared through her. She hated it, but Zac must have seen it.

  “What, Brianna?”

  She shook her head. “Tell me what happened. How did they save you?”

  His golden brown eyes searched hers. “Because my body temperature had dropped, I was clinically dead for over ten minutes, but when they got my core temperature back up, there were no lasting negative effects. I was very lucky.” He slid his hand over hers. “Can you tell me what’s wrong, Brianna?”

  “There’s nothing wrong.” She tried to pull her hand away, but his hold was firm.

  “Bullshit. You looked like you were going to throw up when he was telling you about what he had seen.” Charlie never pulled a punch.

  “I just couldn’t believe I might have lost you before I had ever met you.” She looked down at the half-eaten meal on her plate.

  “This is never going to work without honesty, Angel. You can choose not to tell us something, but to lie is not acceptable.” Zac rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, and she felt the soothing effects deep in her tummy. “Can you tell me? Us?”

  He was right. For the time they had together, they deserved her honesty. She swallowed.

  “You know my father was mentally ill. Schizophrenic. He saw and believed things that weren’t real. Hearing your story scares me.” Both men leaned in and she realized she had whispered the last words.

  “That makes perfect sense. I don’t want to scare you, Angel. There are a lot of other explanations for near-death experiences. One of them states that when your brain is cut off from oxygen, it still has a surge of electricity and a surge of chemicals that causes the same viewing of white light and hallucinations.” Zac reached up and cupped her cheek, and she nestled into his palm, still staring into his dear eyes.

  “But you don’t believe that, do you?”

  “No, love, I don’t. This wasn’t some kind of flare of chemicals. I know what I saw, heard, and felt was real. But I won’t talk about it if it bothers you.” Brianna continued to look at Zac. She thought through all of the time she had spent with him, all that she knew about him, and realized that comparing him with her father wasn’t reasonable. She was just reacting from fear.

  “It’s okay.”

  “Can we talk about your father? About your childhood?” She looked over at Charlie. She was surprised he had lasted as long as he had.

  “I’m sure Zac told you everything.” She pulled away from Zac and got up from the table, grabbing some of the dishes. “Josie gave me a banberry pie for dessert. Do you want coffee?”

  “Sure.” Brianna winced as the dishes clattered into the sink. She hadn’t been expecting Charlie’s easy acceptance to try to avoid the subject. “Do you need help, Brianna?” She finally recognized his tone. It was that calm and professional tone he had used when she had been in his patrol car. He wasn’t going to let this go, he was just going to question her in his devious cop way. She looked down and saw the tremor in her hands. She gripped them tightly then released them, satisfied when they no longer shook. She turned to the cupboard and took down the dessert plates.

  “Let me.” Zac took them out of her hands, and ushered her back to the table. Before she had a chance to even blink the pie and plates were on the table, and coffee was brewing.

  “So Josie gave you this pie?” Brianna looked in awe as Charlie took a piece that was nearly a quarter of the pie plate.

  “Yep, she said it was your favorite.”

  “What is banberry?” Zac asked as he sat down.

  “It’s banana cream, bananas, strawberries, and whipped cream.”

  “It’s a little slice of heaven, especially the way that Josie makes it.”

  “What do you mean a little slice?” Brianna laughed.

  “My God, this is fantastic!” She just might get a pass. Charlie kissed the top of her head as he went to the kitchen and brought out the coffee.

  “Come on, baby, let’s get you some pie and coffee. You hardly ate any of your dinner.”

  “The last thing I need is coffee this late at night.” She scooped up some of the pie. It was good.

  “I made decaf, Angel. I wouldn’t have you drinking caffeine this late.” Zac frowned at her. She should have known better. Both men looked at her with identical looks of concern.

  “I’m very thankful that you had such a great couple to stay with when things were so out of control with your birth parents.” The whipped cream that had moments ago tasted so good now had the flavor and texture of sandpaper in her mouth.

  Brianna closed her eyes and then opened them, knowing she had smoothed out the planes of her face, leaving nothing but calm. She picked up her coffee and took a sip, clearing the clog of pie from her throat.

  “Yes, I was lucky to have Butch and Betty,” she told the police officer. She watched his blue eyes flicker. They understood one another. Her hands hurt. She didn’t look down, but assessed that she had clenched both into fists. The one in her lap she left in a fist, needing the pain to keep her focused. The one on the table she opened and relaxed, not wanting to show her discomfort. She continued to keep a level gaze on Charlie. She felt her hand caught up by both of Zac’s.

  “Did you have to change schools, when you went from one house to the other?” Charlie asked as he took a sip of coffee. It was such an innocuous question, but it took her right back to vivid childhood memories. She’d had a Lion King backpack. She remembered that every day Chance and Sam had walked on either side of her and held her hand into the school. Looking back on it, it was odd for nine and ten year old boys to do that for some strange girl that had just started living with them, but they had done it. Later when Finn had come to the house, they had stuck close to him as well, even though he
was much bigger. Sam and Chance had claimed everyone who walked through the Hutchins’ door.

  “Brianna? Did you have to change schools?”

  “No. I was in the same school.”

  “Were you scared that your parents would show up?”

  “Nope, I was never scared when I was at school, or anytime I was with the Hutchins. They protected me. The only time—” She saw the cop’s eye glint.

  “The only time what, Brianna?” She shook her head. “The only time they didn’t protect you was when they let you go back to a monster.”

  “They didn’t have a choice.” She kept her tone even.

  “Sure they did.” Charlie’s voice held steel.

  “You know the law, they had no choice.”

  “They were the adults, they should have protected you.”

  “They had no control. My parents had all the power.” She couldn’t believe how hard his eyes were. How could she have ever thought his eyes were kind?

  “They could have run away with you.”

  “They would have put the other children at risk.”

  “If they really loved you, they would have done that.” He needed to be quiet. She pulled at Zac’s grip. She needed to get away.

  “You need to leave. You both need to leave.” She was relieved that her voice came out so even.

  “They should have contacted law enforcement and told them you were being tortured, Brianna.” Charlie’s voice was unyielding, Zac’s hold inflexible.

  “I never told them,” she whispered. She couldn’t look away from him. His eyes held her as surely as Zac’s hands.

  “They should have known.”

  “I couldn’t tell, it was my daddy.” It was the whisper of a child.

  “He was a monster.” Tears were starting.

  “Not always, Mother said if I told he’d be locked into a tiny room forever. I could never tell or he would die in that tiny room. There were so many times he was good. Mother said I was the one who made him sick, she hated me. She said I should never have been born. I made daddy sick. He loved me and was so nice when he wasn’t sick, but she was mean all of the time.” The tears were coming faster, running into her mouth. She turned her head and rubbed them off onto the shoulder of her blouse.

  Zac released her hands to get napkins. He crouched down in front of her, and blotted the tears. “Angel, blow your nose.”

  Brianna felt dizzy when she pulled her eyes away from the crystalline blue depths of Charlie’s, and looked at Zac. After she was mopped up, Zac stood, pulled her into his arms, and carried her the few steps to the couch in the living room. She was soon settled in his lap, her head rested in just the right position so that she could once again see Charlie as he settled down beside them.

  “So you never told anyone how bad it really was at home.” Charlie scraped his hand over his face as he looked at her, his cop’s eyes tired. “Did Butch and Betty suspect?”

  “Yes.” Brianna was regaining some control. It helped being cuddled in Zac’s arms. Despite the fact that Charlie was still treating her as a witness, he had pulled her legs onto his lap and was rubbing her feet. Being surrounded by their warmth was stabilizing her. “To this day I can’t remember when I actually first came to live with them. Sam was telling me stories, but I have no memory of them. The first memories are of nightmares and Olivia and Chance sleeping in the bed with me to keep me safe.”

  “How long did you stay with them that first time, do you remember?” Brianna jerked, but Zac ran his strong warm hands down her back. It was as if he had been expecting that reaction. He nuzzled her hair.

  “I’ve got you, Angel, you’re safe.” She relaxed back into his arms, and noticed deeper lines around Charlie’s mouth and eyes. It was like he was in pain. This time, as she fell into his gaze, into his questioning eyes, she realized he was being hurt by this as well. But he was right, this needed to get out into the open. Even though they were only going to be together for just a little while, she wanted to have the best possible relationship, and that meant emotional honesty.

  “The last day of school, the case worker took me back to my birth parents’ house.”

  “How old were you?”

  Miss Phillips’s class. Second grade. She had her binder of work she wanted to show Butch and Betty. She’d made a card for Betty. Sam and Chance had walked her home, and when she got there, the case worker had been there. Butch, Betty, and Olivia were waiting in the living room. Betty and Olivia were crying, and Butch had one arm around each of them. Brianna had dropped her binder, and started screaming that she wasn’t leaving.

  “I was eight, I think. Whatever you are in second grade.”

  “Was it difficult going back?”

  She’d run. She’d gone to the Womack’s three blocks over and hid in Tyler’s tree house. Mrs. Womack must have told, because Butch came and got her. She’d begged to stay. He’d sat in that tree house with her for over an hour and cried with her.

  “I managed.”

  “How long before your dad was sick again?”

  “It was the third time the school noticed that got me taken away. He had so many episodes, but Mom covered them up most times.” Both men’s grips tightened.

  “Fuck. How could people not have known?” Charlie’s voice sounded like crushed rock.

  “Mother told the school that I had asthma, and that it would develop into bronchitis and pneumonia. She would get my homework. I was held back a year.” Brianna remembered hearing her mother talking to someone at the school about her pneumonia, and realizing that it probably came from being cold in a freezer.

  “Angel, how were you taken away the third time the school noticed, if you hadn’t been taken away the first two times?”

  “His parents stepped in. They were concerned that he would harm himself, and that he wasn’t going to come out of this without in-patient care. His parents are really rich, and they got him the help he needed before. But this episode was really bad, and he had to be committed to a mental hospital to get the medication and care he needed. That’s when they saw the shape I was in, and took me from the home and sent me back to the Hutchins.”

  “Didn’t law enforcement prosecute your mother as an accomplice?” She winced at Charlie’s tone. He had almost shouted the question.

  “Charlie, I didn’t understand anything of what was going on. She had her arm around me when they talked to us. They kept calling both of us victims. She said she needed to focus on daddy, so she agreed when they took me away.”

  “Why didn’t you go with your grandparents?” When would the questioning end? She was getting so tired. It almost physically hurt.

  “Please stop, Charlie. Please.”

  “He’s almost done, Angel. Just a few more.” The feel of Zac’s warm breath near her temple helped some. She could answer the question.

  “My grandparents were really old. They said that they had to focus on daddy, too.” She remembered being in that big house, seated around the formal dining room table, and everyone saying they couldn’t have her live with them. Even though having her mother touching her made her skin crawl, she still had felt so much pain when everyone said they didn’t want her. The older police officer had seen this, and had gently taken her outside. He had pulled two sodas from the fridge and they had sat down on the porch steps. That memory made her smile. She had no doubt that Charlie would have done the same thing.

  That night she had taken her back to the Hutchins’ house. She’d met Finn for the first time. He’d scared her. He was a big Polynesian boy. Everything had scared her. She’d had violent nightmares, and acted out. Everyone was so patient and loving, even Finn. Eventually his soft and gentle manner had won her over, but it had taken months.

  “So your grandparents were old. What happened next?”

  “I ended up back at the Hutchins’. Thank God.” Zac squeezed her tight.

  “How many more times did you go back and forth?”

  She hated that question. As she gr
ew up, she got smarter. She would call social services on her own behalf and get the hell out before it got too bad. She never told the full truth. She knew the bare bones to say to get out, but not to get her dad committed. The last time she was taken back to her home, she confronted her mother. She’d been fourteen. She was still small and skinny. Her growth spurt came the next year.

  Brianna had to know, why did her mother go along? Why did she help? The woman slapped her again and again, until Brianna fell to the floor, and then her mother began kicking her. She screamed, spittle coming out of her mouth, and all the time she screamed. “You brought this on. He was never sick before you. He was never sick. It’s all your fault. You are a demon. You made him this way.” Again and again, until her dad pulled her off. Her dad took care of her. He was the one who called the school, and perpetuated the asthma myth.

  It was six months later when she was again a demon in her father’s eyes, and the horror began. Before she could run, she was locked up. It took her five days of hell, before she could escape and get help. Her father was committed, and she never had to go back. And now she was on her way to becoming the monster. Dallas proved it.

  “What happened the last time?”

  “You don’t need to know the details. Suffice it to say it was bad enough that they let me make the decision to stay with Butch and Betty.”

  “Did they prosecute?”

  “They wanted me to press charges, I refused.”

  “How could you not press charges, Angel?” Zac massaged her scalp, and she pushed back against his fingers, trying to ease the ache in her head, hoping it could ease the ache in her heart.

  “Mother was the one who would take care of dad those times he was released from the hospital. She was only harmful to me, she was devoted to him. She loved him. He needed her care.”

  “If his parents were rich, they could have brought in care for him, and she could have been in prison where she belonged.” Charlie saw it as black and white. He didn’t understand her dad depended on her mother.