Cherishing Brianna [Fate Harbor 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Caitlyn O'Leary

  * * * *

  Charlie was confused. How had she changed so drastically in just an hour? What had happened when they got to her apartment? She had insisted that they relax while she put the cakes in the oven. She shuddered, and Charlie tried to pull her closer, but she refused to relax any more than she had. As he tried to figure out where things had changed, he heard the distinct sound of teeth chattering. The little kitchen was hot as fuck, there was no way she should be this cold, plus she was still wearing her leather jacket.

  The door opened, and Charlie turned them around so he could see Zac placing his kit onto the dining room table.

  “Brianna, let’s take a look at your hand.” Zac’s tone was calm and professional.

  “Ok–k–kay. B-But then you have to l–leave.” Zac just raised an eyebrow at Charlie.

  “We’ve got to get her warm. It doesn’t make any sense how cold she is.” Charlie guided her the five steps over to the dining room table, and helped her down into the chair, crouching down to help her sit up. He waited as Zac put the ointment on the blistering skin, and applied a bandage. Then he saw tears silently tracking down her face.

  “Baby, does it hurt that bad?”

  “Please go.” She bit the words out and then clamped her jaw shut. He looked over at Zac.

  “This is emotional, Charlie. It’s not her hand. Something traumatic is going on.” Brianna choked out a sob and doubled over. He’d had enough. He stood up, swinging her into his arms, and made a beeline for the bedroom. Zac was right behind him.

  “Let me go.” Somehow he was able to understand her.

  “Never. I’ve made up my mind. You’re mine. You need me, and God knows I’ve been waiting damn near forty years for you to show up, and I’m not letting you go.” Gently, he placed her on the bed, and started stripping her, wincing when she shuddered even harder.

  He heard the shower starting, and another cog seemed to slip into place. Not only did he have Brianna, he had Zac, someone who had his back, someone who was the ultimate partner.

  “So c–cold.”

  “I know, Brianna.” The woman was in shock, and they had to get her warm. He picked her up and took her into the bathroom. Zac was waiting in the shower, and he handed her off. He wanted to join them, but the enclosure was too small. They were definitely going to his house from now on.

  Charlie grabbed the towels off the rack, and went to the dryer and threw them in, so that they would be warm when they dried her off. He then found some extra blankets in the closet and threw them on the bed, not that they would need them for long. He knew that between the two of them, Brianna would warm up quickly in the bed. After she was warm, he wanted some answers. What the hell had started this meltdown? At that thought he went to the kitchen and turned off the oven, and turned off all the lights and made sure the front door was locked.

  He was at the dryer pulling out the warm towels when the shower shut off. When Zac opened the door, Brianna looked unconscious.

  “She doing okay?”

  “She’s warmer,” Zac said as he helped Charlie wrap Brianna into the big warm towel. While Charlie dried her body, Zac dried her hair. Then Charlie took her into the bedroom. Zac crawled in beside her while he stripped.

  “Is something really wrong with her? Do we need to get her to the hospital?”

  “No. It’s shock. Something triggered it, we just need to get her warm, and she needs some rest. It looks like she’s been running on fumes again.”

  “It’s going to be our job to make sure this shit stops,” Charlie said to Zac.

  “She was serious. She wanted us to abandon her. I’m positive she had it in her head to leave town…again.”

  “She made a promise to Olivia that she wasn’t going to leave until she returned from her Boston.” Goddamn it, Zac was right, but the idea of Brianna walking out of his life didn’t bear thinking about. Somehow in the last five weeks his heart had finally found its other half, and he’d be damned if he was letting her go.

  Brianna shuddered again, and he pressed against her back. It was going to be a long night of thinking.

  Chapter 22

  “Die! Die! Die!” Charlie jerked out of his light doze.

  “Angel, honey, what is it?” Charlie instinctively tangled his legs with hers, to stop her from kicking out at Zac. Zac had her hands held above her head as he spoke soothingly too her.

  “You motherfucker, you die.” Brianna’s voice was hoarse. She struggled and her legs had so much more power than Charlie could imagine. It was obvious she was trying to kick the shit out of someone.

  “Brianna, snap out of it, you’re here with us, it’s Zac and Charlie.” Charlie pushed back her tangled, damp hair and kissed the back of her neck. Despite everything, she still got one leg loose and kicked Zac, and he inhaled sharply. “Brianna, enough. Wake up!” Then, as if a switch was flipped, she was still. Both men waited, looking at the woman in their arms. She said nothing.

  Charlie finally couldn’t take it. “Talk to us.”

  “What’s there to talk about, I had a bad dream. I was out of control.”

  “Of course you were. You’re not responsible for your actions during a dream.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Her voice was muffled, as she lowered her head against Zac’s chest.

  “Brianna, you’re not. Why do you think you think you have to be perfectly in control every minute of every day?” She jerked. Ah, he’d hit a nerve. Nothing but silence.

  “Nobody’s perfect, Brianna. I can’t speak for Zac, but I sure as hell am not.”

  “You guys don’t know how damaged I am. You really need to get out while you can.” This time it was Charlie’s turn to be still. This was more than just her childhood. It had to be the Dallas incident, and it was time they got that out on the table. She was warm. She was cognizant. He rolled her onto her back, and immediately swallowed at the sight of her beautiful breasts swaying into place as he and Zac propped pillows behind her head and shoulders.

  “It’s time you talked. You plan to bail, right?” Charlie pinned her emerald gaze, daring her to look away.

  “Yes. I’m leaving in the morning.”

  “Even though you promised Olivia you would stay until after she returned from her honeymoon?” Zac asked gently.

  “I have to go. I’m getting in too deep with the two of you. I’m leading you on. Pretending to be something I’m not.”

  “You’ve alluded to that one too many times baby. You owe us. Tell us what happened in Dallas, what made you uproot yourself and decide that you needed to change your entire life? What is really going on?” Again they were met by silence, but Charlie applauded the fact that she didn’t once avert her gaze.

  “You’re right, you need to know the truth.” She let out a sigh, and it was almost as if she was relieved to finally be telling someone what she had been keeping inside for so long.

  * * * *

  Brianna took a calming breath. It was time. Once these wonderful men knew, they would back away of their own accord. It would hurt so badly, but she deserved the pain. It was better than her idea of leaving them. That was the coward’s way. It would have caused them pain. Yes, this was the right thing to do.

  “I told you that back in Dallas I was involved with CASA.”

  “Yeah, we have a few volunteers who work with kids in foster care. I’ve worked with them on cases. They make a big difference. I always try to make sure that the kids who need them have one appointed. I’ve bullied a couple of friends of mine to become volunteers.” Brianna gave a wan grin. Of course Charlie had done that. “I’m impressed that’s something you were involved with, Brianna.”

  “Yeah, well, Butch and Betty were great role models.” Zac leaned in and kissed her temple. “Did you have an advocate with the system when you were growing up?”

  “Yes, I had several. They made a world of difference.”

  “So what happened, Brianna? Something that scared you, that made you feel like you weren’t worthy of love, of
your fair share of happiness?”

  “I’m worthy, everybody is worthy. I’m just not worth the investment. I need to be alone. My life will be fine. It will be what it will be.” She pulled up the blanket. She really needed to somehow distance herself if she was going to explain this to them.

  “Fine, just explain your thinking to us.” She glared back at Charlie, stubborn man that he was, he was not going to go down without a fight. Then she looked over at Zac. He looked more curious than anything else.

  “It’s not as bad as you think it is. We’re not going to run.” Looking into those liquid bronze eyes she could almost believe him. What was worse, she wanted to believe him, and how wrong was that. Nobody deserved that kind of burden.

  “Tell us, Brianna.”

  “His name was Danny. He was eight.” He’d had red hair and freckles, just like she did. He had been so scared, he barely spoke, but when she had told him that redheaded people had a special connection, he had started to open up a little bit.

  “That was clever, Angel.”

  “Anyone would have thought of it,” Brianna said dismissively, but she watched as the two men shared a frustrated look. “Fine, it was clever. I’m clever. But I also am a mess. I had a total meltdown.” Again she watched as Zac and Charlie shared a look. They were beginning to piss her off.

  “I’m serious!”

  Zac put his arm around her. “I know you are. We want to hear. Tell us about it.”

  “Danny didn’t show up to one of his appearances. They had reunified his family after his dad had gone through anger management classes and his mother had quit her job to stay home with Danny. Danny was scared, and I had advocated against it, but reunification is always the goal.”

  “Yes, it is. How long had Danny been back with his family when he missed his court appearance?”

  “Two months. His dad just seemed to hate him. He was a real piece of work, but because Danny hadn’t opened up to anyone, nobody really took the situation seriously. Danny hadn’t shown up to school three days in a row, and his Mom didn’t bring him in for a court appearance, said he was sick. Yeah, right. I knew that old line. I tried to tell his case worker, but she was overworked, and didn’t believe that anything was really wrong.”

  “Damn, you went over there by yourself, didn’t you?” Charlie said.

  “Yeah. It was totally outside my purview, but I just knew that something bad was going on. I showed up to their house. When I got there, I knocked and the dad answered the door. When I asked to talk to Florence, he said he lived alone. He tried to convince me that he didn’t have a wife or child. He was dressed perfectly, but I peeked behind him, and the house looked like a hurricane had hit it.”

  “Oh God.”

  “Guys, I was so afraid they were both dead, but I had no proof.”

  “You know you could have called in a welfare check.”

  “But when would they have gotten there?”

  “So what did you do?”

  “I got into my car and drove away. I could feel him watching me the entire way. I drove around the block. It was one of those nice suburban neighborhoods that had the alleys in the back with the carports. I walked around and peeked into all of the windows of the bedrooms. I finally found them.”

  “Please tell me you called the cops.”

  “Of course I did, I’m not stupid,” Brianna said vehemently. “Danny’s mom, Florence, was lying in the bed, and she looked like she had been in a boxing match. Danny was holding his arm at a funny angle. You could tell it was broken.”

  “Fuck,” the men said in unison.

  “Exactly, but he wasn’t crying. He was just sitting up against the bed, stroking his mother’s face. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I just prayed she was still alive.”

  “The asshole dad must have heard him, because the door to the bedroom slammed open, he was in a rage. He hauled Danny up. I was sure he was going to kill him. I slammed on the window and screamed, and he threw Danny on the floor. He raced out of the room, and I knew he was coming for me. I couldn’t run, I just couldn’t. I didn’t know how long the cops were going to take, so I had to stay and protect Danny.”

  “Ah Jesus, Brianna, are you out of your mind?” Now wasn’t that the million dollar question?

  “Shut up, Charlie, of course she couldn’t leave them.”

  “I heard the sliding patio door opening. He was yelling that he was going to kill me. I told him that the police were coming, but he was so far gone, he was crazed. All he cared about was getting his hands on me.”

  “Please tell me that then you ran and screamed for help.”

  “Yes to both, but somehow he got me. I can’t remember exactly what happened, but we ended up crashing through the glass of the sliding door. It’s all such a blur after that. I know he was unconscious, because by the time the police arrived they found me just kicking him over and over again screaming that he should die. They had to pull me off him.”

  “So was that your dream? Is that who you were kicking and telling to die?” It took everything she had not to lean into Zac’s embrace and his soothing words.

  “Thank God you got him. You could have died.”

  “Didn’t you hear me, Charlie? Even after he was unconscious, I kept kicking him. I ruptured his spleen.”

  “How do you know it wasn’t the crash through the plate glass of the patio door?”

  “Oh trust me, the cops told me. There was talk about charging me for assault, but when all was said and done, they determined that I had suffered a concussion, that along with the trauma of finding Danny and his mom and being attacked, I was off the hook.”

  “There is no way any police officer would have charged you.”

  “That’s not the real issue. I lost it. I totally lost my mind. I wasn’t in control. I know my disease inside and out. This is the real reason that I’ve lived the life I have. I’ve tried to live a calm and orderly life, with little stress. No real ups or downs. I knew that schizophrenia was hereditary, but I also knew that certain ways of living put me more at risk. But it didn’t work, I guess blood tells.”

  She looked from one man to the other. Zac pulled her in even closer and kissed the top of her head, and she couldn’t see his face, but there was no mistaking his acceptance, it was implicit in the very way that he was holding her.

  Charlie was different. He put his hand under her chin, so that once again they were eye to eye. “Is this your secret? Is this what has been holding you back from wanting to stay? In running away from your family, the people who are aching to have you stay? From wanting to give this relationship a real chance?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s bullshit. I admit I don’t understand what this all entails, but I don’t believe you’re going to end up being some madman like your father.”

  “I agree.” She was worn out. She pulled away from Charlie and shrugged out of Zac’s embrace. This time both men let her go. She climbed out of bed, needing to distance herself. She pulled on the robe that lay over the chair in the corner, and turned to face the two men who were pulling on their pants. She couldn’t help a small grin. Those two were never going to be sharing a bed without her in it.

  Zac was in front of her before she could make it to the bedroom door, and again he pulled her into his arms. “I’m glad you agree that you’re not going to turn into your dad. I have to admit, I’ve been reading up on schizophrenia ever since you told me that your dad suffered from it.”

  Of course he had. She rested her forehead against his chest in defeat. “So you understand exactly what that episode meant.”

  “I understand that it could mean it was one of your first symptoms.” Zac stroked her back, and kissed the top of her head.

  “What the fuck are you talking about? She defended herself against an asshole who was probably going do grave bodily harm, if not fucking kill her. She had every right to kick the shit out of the bastard. I read the fucking police report, the cops never once seriously c
onsidered charging her.”

  God, they had both been checking up on her. She relaxed further into Zac’s arms, knowing that that these two men really cared about her, and she just wanted to soak it in for a little while longer.

  “Charlie’s most likely right, you know.” Zac’s voice was low and comforting.

  “But they had to pull me off of him. I barely even remember what I was doing after a certain point. How could you call that sane?” God, she was so tired, but at the same time, she felt lighter having finally told someone the truth.

  “Brianna, do you know how many people who have told me the exact same thing? During a traumatic event like that, that’s perfectly normal.”

  Brianna turned her head and rested her cheek on Zac’s chest so that she could see Charlie. “It’s also one of the early signs of the disease, Charlie. I know it’s not like I was hearing voices in my head. But I was totally out of control, and something took over me that was saying this man must die. Charlie, I don’t believe in the death penalty, I just don’t. Something took over me, it was my disease. It’s only a matter of time before these incidents are going to be the norm, and I’m not putting my family through this.”

  “So what’s your plan, Angel?”

  “I’m going back down to San Clemente. I know the facility down there, it was where dad was before he passed.”

  “So you plan to lock yourself away? You are out of your mind!” Brianna shrank back into Zac’s arms.

  “Dial it down. I’m taking her into the living room, and we’re going to hear her out.” Brianna took half a step, and gasped as she was swept up into Zac’s arms. In moments she was settled on his lap on the couch. Did it have to feel so damn good? She breathed in a sob. Oh God, she had just been feeling better because she had told them her secret, and now she was getting ready to breakdown. Get it together!